Chasing After The Wind
by Doctor Yok
Summary: Lavi is sent to a small Argentinian town to investigate a simple Innocence phenomenon, but he got more than he bargained for. Lavi must outwit gangsters, unravel the Noah's plan, figure out his new partner, and maybe face his own demons as well.
1. Argentina Welcome

Lavi sweated under the hot, Argentinian sun. He swiped at his brow, a good stripe of his glove completely soaked with perspiration. He whistled low, looking around the station for a respite from the blazing sun. All he found were a few scraggly trees and some brush. Several of the natives were lounging underneath the blistering heat of the winter haze. After having trudged through snow nearly two days before, this was a shock to his system. Lavi suddenly sneezed, and he groaned. There was a reason why God hadn't given them instant teleportation lightly. Still, that didn't mean it wasn't handy.

Lavi sneezed again, and he muttered under his breath. The redheaded Exorcist decided to get a bit of an idea of where he was.

He was in the desert town of _Pueblo de Rio Seco de Maria de la Immaculada Concepcion de Belen_. Of course, that was an utter mouthful, so he'd asked Komui for the short name, and he'd merely told him "Rio Seco", or Dry River. Something strange was going on in this small city of only 5,000 people. The entire river that had once supported the town had been dry for hundreds of years, though once it had been fed by a spring in the mountains. And now, suddenly, after perhaps three to four hundred years of dry river beds and hoping for rain, the water had all come back. _All _of it. Lavi muttered to himself as he reviewed this information, "I think they'll need to change the name of the town." Even so, it was dusty here, the sand from the desert blowing in and blocking every nook, cranny, and crevice. Perhaps fifty miles from what Lavi could see from the main street at the edge of town, the land suddenly turned flat and unforgiving. There was scrubland out beyond the town, but it was sparse and in patches, doing nothing to block the sand and wind. Lavi was currently standing at the edge of town, adobe and brick buildings rising around him. It appeared that the middle street he was standing on was the major artery of the small settlement.

A truck trundled down the boulevard. The back of it was full of dusty, worn looking workers, all of them browned from prolonged subjection to the sun. They watched Lavi with dark stares, their eyes penetrating him and seeming to strip away everything that he was down to the core elements. Lavi shivered imperceptibly under their gaze, looking away. Apparently, white folk like him weren't usual. He stripped off his jacket, relishing in the feel of wind blanketing over sweaty skin. He looked around, wondering what exactly he was waiting for. Lavi realized that he didn't have a Finder with him, and he'd automatically waited for one to show up somewhere. However, seeing as they hadn't let one come with him, they had recruited someone from the South American branch. Lavi silently berated himself, suddenly realizing how much he took those guys for granted. Lavi made an agreement with himself that the Finder they sent him would get an ice cold drink at the first place they stopped at, as well as a well-deserved rest.

Finally sick of waiting for something to happen, Lavi walked over to a very well-used phone booth, and he hooked his golem to the telephone line. He picked up the phone, dialed the correct number, and listened to the tone as it changed to the familiar ring of the Order's telephone system. Finally, someone picked up.

"Hello?" Komui chirped, and Lavi smiled. Just the person he needed. He was glad that he had a good golem. Otherwise, he would've been waiting for hours and hours...

"Hey, Komui, did you ever send for a Finder here in Argentina?" Lavi asked brightly, or, at least, as brightly as he could while still being tortured by the trapped sunlight in the sweltering telephone booth. Komui, however, noticed Lavi's apparent suffering, and he laughed as he said, "Well, you see, I was going to dispatch one of ours, but it's so hot out there that they'd melt!" Lavi's facial expression dropped as Komui cackled.

"You didn't answer my question!"

"Uh, well... You see, there were some paperwork problems that had to be handled, and - "

"You didn't, did you?" Lavi should've assumed that the first time around. There was a sigh on the other end of the line.

"No, no I didn't," Komui answered honestly, at last, and Lavi rolled his eyes. Komui sounded indignant as he said, "Oh, stop rolling your eyes."

"How do you know I'm rolling my eyes?"

"I can hear them rattling around in your skull through the phone." Lavi shook his head, laughing. He could almost see the giant smile appearing on Komui's face as Lavi snickered, and he said, "Okay, well, did you send _anybody_? I don't speak a whole lot of Spanish, you know." That was partly a lie. Lavi _did _speak a good amount of Spanish, but Lavi also was getting the vibe he wasn't too welcome here. There was no love lost between the Argentinians and white men. Lavi would rather have some sort of translator to act as a buffer between him and them, just in case things either got ugly or he stepped on toes on accident. He wasn't used to Argentinian culture, though there was one time when he'd been in Chile on a mission with Panda-jiji -

Lavi carefully rebuilt the mental walls that separated that memory from the rest of his memories, trying to keep all of those different people from blending together. Each Bookman mission was a separate identity, a separate brain almost in its own right that it held its own memories and stayed apart from everything else. All of those people he had been, all those things he'd played as. He'd die and be reborn, over and over again. And the only way he'd been able to cope with this cycle was by keeping all those memories separate and at the back of his mind but never truly forgetting that they existed. As soon as the memories belonging to the person that had been Manuel had erupted in his mind, he had trapped them again and dragged them away from Lavi, the person he was now. Jarringly, Lavi realized that Komui was speaking to him.

"As a matter of fact, I think there is something about a partner in your dossier sheet. A native to the area, been living there for a little over three years, probably handy in a little town like that. It's awfully lucky that the South American branch had someone like that. Usually, they have lots of Brazillians, though I guess it makes sense they had a few Argentines there as well. Argentina's not exactly tiny. Did you read your dossier sheet?" he asked abruptly, and Lavi guiltily murmured, "Uuuuuuh..."

"You didn't, did you?"

"I think I'm getting dejavu here, you know." There was a chuckle. Lavi smiled slightly, and he said, "I'll read it, don't worry. How long will it take for her to get here?"

"It should say in the dossier." With that, Komui hung up, and Lavi smiled. He unhooked the golem and walked out of the telephone booth, suddenly glad for the wind. Even if it got sand in his white shirt and all over his Order-issued pants, he didn't care. It was way better than sweating to death in the dead, still air. He sat down on the sidewalk, and he dug around in his shoulder bag. He found the folder holding the mission information, and he cracked it open. He'd already read the missions specs, about the danger level and the bare bones around the phenomenon that may or may not be caused by Innocence. Lavi rubbed his eye, and he sighed, flipping through the other papers he hadn't cared to read.

Finally, he found it.

_Associates: Esperanza Castillo, South American Order Branch. Age: 17. Eyes: Brown. Hair: Brown. Ethnicity: Argentinian. Innocence: Creacion Metallico. Length of time within the Order: 3 months. Living family...  
><em>

Lavi sighed, slightly disappointed. He had nothing against women, or young women at that, but he'd been hoping for someone both older and male. Chances were, she was inexperienced, inept, and incapable of keeping her emotions under control. Three months of fighting. That wasn't a whole lot to go on, and Lavi was wary of taking on someone so young as a partner. Even though he'd worked with Lenalee, she was a bird of a different feather. She had years of experience, emotional control, and a past with Lavi. He trusted her. He wasn't sure how he'd feel about this Esperanza, especially considering she'd be more like his apprentice than his partner. Luckily, though, from what he could see on the dossier, she was fluent in both English and Spanish. At the least, she'd be helpful in town with interviews and things of that nature._  
><em>

He scanned the rest of the dossier, trying to find something about a rendezvous. It jumped out at him from the very bottom of the page. His partner was supposed to be staying at a hotel not far from here. The _Rosa de Desierto, _no doubt the same place he'd be staying while in Rio Seco. He trekked through the dust, easily locating the hotel. At the ground floor was a saloon, and he walked in. Sunlight filtered through gaps in the wood paneling, and several dark _vaqueros _watched him with sullen looks as he traipsed inside like a daisy in the sunshine. They stopped their conversations to stare at him, their near-black eyes watching closely. He whistled brightly, though it slowly petered out as the looks he was cast turned darker and darker. He made his way to the bar, and as soon as he turned his back, the buzz of Spanish conversation resumed. He leaned forward across the bar to the bartender, a rickety, worn looking stick of a man with large glasses on top of his large nose and boisterous mustache.

"Ahem, um, _pardon me, senor, pero estoy buscarado por una senorita. Se llama Esperanza,_" Lavi said in very blatantly English-tinged Spanish. The man looked at him dully before answering, "We speak English here, _diablo blanco. _Which Esperanza. There are ten that work here." Lavi's eye twitched. There were ten...? No, he needed a guest named Esperanza! But then again, he had her last name, too...

"Her last name is Castillo," he said, careful to pronounce the surname with proper pronunciation. This seemed to placate the bartender somewhat, and he pointed over the redhead's shoulder to a person wearing a black wide-brimmed hat, a long duster, long boots, and gloves. Lavi nearly fell over. That didn't look like an Esperanza to him... He couldn't see her face in the dim lighting, and it suddenly occurred to him that, just maybe, Esperanza was the name of a guy rather than a girl. He swallowed, knowing that guys with girly names tended to be tougher than snake hide and easier to piss off than a tiger with a sore tooth. His mind strayed to certain, feminine-looking Exorcist, and he nearly turned white.

"Um, Esperanza isn't usually used as a name for a boy, right?" Lavi asked cautiously, wide-eyed as he stared at the person drinking a tall glass of... _something. _The bartender looked at him with a quirked eyebrow, and he stated, "Not unless his _madre _hated him from birth. Or she was drunk." The bartender shrugged. He was called over by another Argentinian, and Lavi was left to himself at the bar. He looked back at the table with its lone occupant, and he decided he might as well give it a shot.

He sat down next to the dark figure, and he coughed into his fist, saying in Spanish, "Ahem, excuse me, _muchacho, _if I could just -"

There was the click of a gun's hammer being cocked back, and Lavi realized that something cold and hard was pressed to his temple. He sat completely still, his eyes trained at the bar where the bartender's eyes were wide as well as just about everybody else's in that cactus juice joint. The figure took a drink of the glass, the gun lazily pointed at Lavi's head, and a deep, alto voice said, "Call me _muchacho, _again, _hombre, _and I might give you a closed casket funeral." Lavi gulped. Yeah, that was definitely a girl. Apparently, she didn't like being called _muchacho _either.

"I will ask you three questions. If you answer wrong, you will die," she said casually, and Lavi refrained from groaning. He hated hitting young ladies. He really did, but he would if he had to. Like now was a good situation for smacking down a girl. He had his fingers wrapped around Little Hammer, and he nodded.

"All right, _Senorita Misteriosa, _ask away," he said, trying to sound confident and not the least worried about having his brains painted across the floor.

"_Uno. _What is your name?" Lavi almost frowned.

"Lavi," he answered somewhat hesitantly. There was no sound. The air was getting thicker, it seemed, and it was getting harder to breath, but perhaps that was just him. Guns made him nervous. Especially when pointed his direction. Nothing he couldn't handle, though. After all, Akuma used dozens of guns, and they didn't faze him, right?

"_Dos. _What is your supervisor's name?" Lavi was beginning to worry. These questions were too easy.

"Komui Lee," he answered. Still no sound, and his head was intact, and he hadn't had to open any cans of whoop ass.

"_Tres. _What is the name of the Exorcist that lives above the circle of God's Crystal?" Lavi's one eye widened, and he realized what she was doing. She was checking if he was an Akuma or not. No Akuma would be able to sit through a test, much less answer correctly. But that would mean Lavi would have to be an Akuma... Then again, she'd never met him nor seen a picture, so it was understandable. And there was one Noah who could shapeshift into any form she wished. Suddenly, Esperanza's strange and threatening moves made a lot of sense.

_"_Hevlaska," Lavi whispered quietly. Esperanza's gun lowered easily, and she raised it to her neck. Lavi turned his head slightly, his good eye watching. It suddenly seemed to melt, turning into a silverish-black ball of puddy before reforming again into a large crucifix. Metal beads sprouted around the crucifix, creating a rosary. Lavi whistled. That was handy. Everybody seemed to calm down, settling back into the rhythm of drinking and talking in low voices. Esperanza picked her teeth with a sliver of wood, and Lavi watched her cautiously.

"So, uh... Esperanza..." The woman finally revealed her face, and Lavi tried to keep his reaction muted. There were three large scars across her eye, all of them puckered and white against the skin. It was definitely an eye-catcher, if the pun could be pardoned. So perhaps Lavi had underestimated her a little bit.

_"Eres el Exorcisto de Ingles, no? _You are the Exorcist from England, no?" she asked, and Lavi answered, "_Si - "_

"I think it is best if you leave the Spanish to me, _senor._" Lavi snapped his mouth shut. He looked away from her, but he secretly studied her from the corner of his eye.

_..._Not quite as easy, considering his good eye was on the wrong side of his face for discreet analyzation. Still, of what he could see, she had small scars on her face, white scars that stood out against dark brown skin as well as near-black wavy hair framing an oval face. Her eyes were an incongruous bright blue. She slowly reached for the glass, looking over at Lavi with a flick of her eyes, and Lavi looked away, knowing he'd been caught staring at the scars.

"Go ahead. Ask," she said abruptly, and Lavi frowned. He turned to her. Her Spanish accent wasn't too thick, but it was thick enough to tinge all of her words with the Spanish roll. Lavi himself knew that he stood out painfully because of his rounded pronunciation of Spanish words. His hair and eyes didn't help, either, though he knew that Argentinians could be white skinned. In this town, though, it seemed a bit of a novelty. Or, more like, a curse.

"So, uh... what's the run down on this mission? I mean, I've only got the bare bones in this file." He slapped the manilla file on the table, and Esperanza flipped through it. She frowned, and she stated, "That was not what I was aiming for, _senor, _but I will give you a small... what is it called? Summary?" Lavi nodded, and Esperanza drummed her fingers on the table. Lavi noted that, despite the heat, she wore leather gloves and long sleeves. To keep out the dust? Reduce the chance of sunburn? Lavi already could feel his skin frying inside of the saloon, and he'd only been in the sun for a few minutes before that.

"You know the _Rio Seco, _yes? It means Dry River for a reason. My grandfather's grandfather's grandfather saw the river run with water once, and it had only been a trickle then. Now, the water is flowing very freely from the mountains, and you think this is a good thing, yes? Well, we people are superstitious. It is not such good thing that many good things happen all at once, especially with the water," Esperanza said. She traced the lip of her glass.

"So this is an inauspicious omen? Running water in a dry river is bad?" Lavi asked incredulously. Esperanza seemed amused.

"Only here, _senor. Solo aqui. _Here, we are behind the mountains behind the... the _sombra lluvia. _Where there is no rain," she tried to explain, and Lavi suddenly understood.

"The rain shadow of the mountain? Where the rain doesn't reach?" he asked, and she nodded. The Argentinian continued.

"The rains reach only the very top of the mountain. The water trickles down the river, until it reaches us in the desert as a small stream. Sometimes, it doesn't run at all. It has been like this since we can remember. I believe there are pictures on the walls of the river," she said, pointing to black and white photos lining the saloon. Lavi eyed them curiously, getting up from his chair.

Carefully, he examined them, peering into the grainy eyes of a camera to the photos of men standing in front of a very dry river bed. The desert spanned behind them, the very tail of the mountains showing at the edge of the photo. He moved to another photo. Again, the same thing. The dry river bed, lined with dead mesquite bushes and dried up cacti. Mountains staged the background, however. There was yet another photo, this one shown from the other side of the river. It showed the town in the background, and he could clearly see the dilapidated old saloon at the edge of the photo. Again, the river was dry as dust, not a single drop of water in it.

"So the river's always been dry," Lavi stated, and he could almost feel Esperanza's nod. She suddenly said, "Come here, senor. Perhaps if you see it, you will understand." Lavi turned around to see her walking out of the saloon. He followed close behind, walking into the bright sunlight. They walked for nearly ten minutes until finally, they reached the river.

Lavi stared. It was a torrent. Grayish-blue water filled the entire thing to the brim. It was almost bursting its wide banks, spanning a good half-mile across. Lavi frowned as he watched it course and buck like a living thing, carrying branches and other debris with it.

"If the water rises over the banks, we will have many problems. The town could be swallowed by the river. No one in _Rio Seco _has seen the water so high. There are no records of the river becoming full like this," she said almost reverently. Lavi frowned, looking up at the mountains. Their tops were covered in cloud, and somewhere up there an Innocence possibly awaits.

"What else makes this a possible Innocence phenomenon?" Lavi asked. When he didn't get an answer, he looked back at Esperanza, who was doing the sign of a Roman Catholic cross. He frowned at her as she clasped the rosary around her neck. Superstitious was right... Even this sensible woman seemed a little spooked by whatever was going on around here.

"A man came. He is a mountain man, crazy, _loco. _He... he said that the source of the river is a giant spring, one we call _Lago de los Condenados. _That it heals people of their wounds, their ills. But, also, if you are not careful, it also kills those who are pure in heart. He brought a child with him once, kidnapped her... He came back with her, dead, but there was no mark on her. No poison, no strangling, no cuts. It was as if she died in her sleep as old men do. We are... frightened," Esperanza said, her face troubled. She looked up from underneath the wide brim of her hat.

"We shot him. We should not have," she stated ominously, and Lavi almost shivered under the blistering rays of the sun.

"How many other people have gone up to the spring?" he asked. This was pretty standard. Healing spring, he'd heard of. Killing spring... not so much.

_"Cuatro. _Four people. Three came back healed, and one of them came back dead. The one who died... he was the priest in the church. We do not know what happened to him, though. Only that he did not come back down the mountain. The guides said that he had died in the spring, but I do not trust them," she told him, and Lavi knelt down to look into the water. It was rushing past at a very fast pace. He followed the river as far as his eye could see before tracing an imaginary path up the mountain to the Lake of the Damned. He straightened up, wondering if this was the cause of Innocence or something much more sinister.

"Has anyone else been up there? To the lake?" he asked, and Esperanza shook her head. Her scars glared white in the sun, the rays seeming to wilt all surrounding plantlife despite the fact that the water seemed to be reviving what little there had been at the riverbed. Lavi sighed, wondering what this could all mean. It didn't seem like Innocence activity. Stranger stuff happened when an Innocence went haywire, like ghosts, revived automatons, and entire towns reliving a single day. He'd have to talk it over with the supervisor.

"I'm not exactly sure what it is, then, that's the problem. Don't send anyone to the spring and rebuild as far from the river as you can," Lavi stated simply, and the flash in Esperanza's eye made Lavi realize what he'd just said. It was basically 'I'm done here. You people aren't worth my time.' However, she said nothing.

"Of course... senor. I will relay to the Major. He will decide our actions on the matter. Meanwhile, I will take you to your hotel," she said coolly, and Lavi could've cringed if he thought that it wouldn't make his situation worse. He'd just alienated the only person who could possibly help him out here in the desert. He followed the woman back to the hotel, and she handed him a room key. It was a heavy brass piece, made for a sturdy lock. Lavi looked up at Esperanza, but she was already up the stairs to her own room. Lavi followed suit, and he found his room to be quite roomier than the ones he was used to.

_Another hotel in another life, Eli lay down on a bed with his hands behind his head, wondering when those idiot humans would ever realize that fighting solved nothing, and that history repeated itself. Always, always, it was the same routine, the same pattern. These filthy things that roam the planet, they knew nothing of what they were doing. What sort of God would want to save such sorry people -_

Lavi found himself with his fist crashed into the wall, knuckles bleeding. He was breathing hard as he tried to contain the memory of anger and disgust. There was a knock on the door, and Lavi lowered his fist from the wall, the pain beginning to lance up his arm in great spikes. He opened the door to see Esperanza's slightly concerned face. Without her hat to shield her visage, he could see that the scars he had seen extended far across her eyebrows, cutting it into three sections. The scars went straight past her hairline, cutting swathes of white. Where the scars were, hair didn't grow, and so she was missing three lines where white stood out prominently against sun-browned skin. Noticing his scrutiny, Esperanza turned her head slightly away.

_"Lo siento, senor, _if I interrupted you. I thought I heard something from your room." Lavi gave a smile, and he shrugged. He put a hand on the doorpost and stated, "Sorry, I -" He watched Esperanza's eye stray straight to his hand, and he knew that a lie wasn't going to work. Her eyes cut to his own, and he knew there was no fooling her.

"I help you," she stated simply, walking into his room.

"N-no, no, you don't have to - "

"I am used to it. Sit." He did as she commanded very quickly. She promptly left the room, but he didn't budge an inch. There was a way about Hispanic women that when they told you to do something, you did it without questioning it. Perhaps because he felt that if he whined about it, she'd hit him on the head with a wooden spoon and start saying something in rapid Spanish to him. Not long after, she came back with bandages and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. He winced as she dabbed the alcohol over his knuckles were the skin had split, and she wrapped the bandages firmly around his hand. Feeling awkward just sitting there and letting her fix him up because of his foolishness and emotional incapacity, he asked, "How do you know English?"

She looked up at him. Her look was hard to read. She finally said, "I worked on a white man's plantation for many years before fighting as an _Exorcista. _I was a _vaquera, _at first, but then I was turned into a maid." Lavi tilted his head to the side to look at her better, and he asked, "Is that where you got all those?" He gestured to his face, and he suddenly felt like kicking himself in the teeth. Of all the things to ask, he should know better than to question where scars come from. Esperanza's hands stilled, and she didn't look at him.

_"Senor, _you ask many questions," she stated, continuing her work and dodging his inquiry. He wasn't learning any more about her today. She got up, told him to meet her for dinner downstairs so they could go meet the first of the three healed men, and promptly left without another word.

Lavi sighed. This mission already seemed to be going downhill. It was going to be a long trip.

* * *

><p>The late night air was punctuated by the drone of cicadas. The plantation was rich with flowering plants and trees, brought alive by the sudden spur of water. It had once lain lorn, completely barren, but expensive irrigation and some bribing had taken care of that. A man in a <em>bolero <em>tie and good clothes stood with his hands in his pockets, enjoying the night air. He heard the rustling of leaves, and he turned to stare in the direction of the noise. The air was curiously still, and his eyes narrowed as he watched a liquid figure slip from the shadows.

A woman wearing a suit walked out into the hot, night air. Her blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail at the back of her neck, and bangs swung just above sunglasses. Her eyes were hidden, but the man knew that, when revealed, they were the color of gold coins. Her skin was porcelain white - for now - and she seemed like one of those European trickster Faerie Queens, with the confidence in her walk and the slide in her step. He watched her warily, his hand resting on a gun in its holster at his hip. He fingered the trigger unconsciously as she stood less than five feet from him. However, other than this he denoted no discomfort or nervousness.

"You keep your appointments," she stated in fluid Spanish, and the man answered back, "Yes. And you keep your punctuality. Good evening, _Senorita _Lulu." The woman smiled, a cheshire-like stretching of the lips across her face. The man suppressed a shiver. They stood for a few moments in the night air before Lulu stated, "Do you know if that spring works on the Akuma? Can it repair them?" The man looked back with shifty eyes. He stated, "The Akuma you gave us killed our members and guides before they could get to the spring. Two of them made it, though, and they came back fully healed. It seems they do not need us humans to lead them there." Lulu shook her head, making tutting noises.

"That's not what we need you for, _Senor Dominguez. _The Akuma are not your concern. You are for protection purposes more than guiding ones," she stated. She looked up into the night sky, the stars seeming to swivel overhead as they made their rounds through the dark firmament. Lulu looked over at Dominguez with a knowing look. The man did nothing to acknowledge her as he asked, "And my daughter?"

"No worries, _Senor. _She is perfectly safe. The spring will heal humans as well as Akuma. It only depends on her heart - and the Earl's mood at the time," Lulu said with a sly smile. Dominguez finally stared at her, eyes intensely fixated on the visage that was liaison between him and his daughter's hope.

"Your thugs will keep people discouraged from going near the lake?" she asked. Dominguez nodded his head. Lulu stared at him, examining the scars and pocks of a hard life of disease and bullets. These humans knew nothing but suffering. It was all they could relate to. This caused her to smile.

There was always more where that came from.

"Then you have nothing to fear. We are on your side, _Senor. _I do not understand your anxiety," she said, almost coyly. She briefly put a hand to her cheek in contemplation, folding her other arm over her chest to rest her elbow on top of it. Dominguez looked down, not willing to look at her. Finally he stated, "You are inhuman. My business may profit from this, but you... I do not enjoy trading with your kind." Lulu chuckled.

"Well, that tells me one thing." Dominguez narrowed his eyes at her. She looked at him over her sunglasses, and she stated,"You are a very smart man."


	2. Cicatrices

Lavi ducked behind a piece of scrap metal. A bullet pinged, and a good-sized dent forced its way into the metal.

"I take it he's not very happy to see us," Lavi said calmly. Another bullet ricocheted through the scrap yard. He winced as the sound of the ill-shot piece of explosive metal banged around the yard. Esperanza was nearly three yards away from him, lying near the rusted out cab of an old jalopy. She lifted one eyebrow, a sardonic salute of a sort, and she leveled her own gun over the hood of the car. She squeezed off two shots, and neither hit its intended target. The man they'd attempted to shoot shouted at them in Spanish, and Lavi frowned as his brain hurried to translate. Something along the lines of 'you dogs can go and screw yourselves.' Not exactly a warm welcome.

"You think you can at least bargain with him?" Lavi asked, spinning his hammer around his finger. He gripped it with a sharp sound, and he looked across to Esperanza. The woman nodded, not bothering with a vocal response. He held up three fingers.

One finger down...

The man began to approach them.

Two fingers down...

Man, he must be heavier than they thought. The sound of metal crumpling bombarded their ears, and they looked at each other in slowly found confusion. Crumpling... metal...?

Three fingers.

Both Lavi and Esperanza streaked across the open ground between the two areas of cover, Lavi covering for Esperanza as she strafed the open area with bullets. The volley of fire was returned, but instead of the regular rounds there were high-energy bullets leaving an almost phosphorescent purple trail behind them. Lavi's eyes widened as the two met up in the middle of the two heaps of metal, Lavi's hammer serving as a shield while Esperanza reloaded her gun with random bullets.

"Akuma," he breathed, gasping. Esperanza only nodded, and she stuck an arm out, firing past the hammer. Suddenly, a blazing purple line cut across her arm, and Esperanza immediately pulled her arm back. Lavi stared in horror as he realized that a bullet had grazed her arm. She peeled away part of her jacket to reveal browned skin that was quickly gaining a rather large number of pentacles around a shallow wound. Without even blinking, Esperanza turned her gun into a blade (dropping all her bullets in the process), scooped out the infected area around her arm leaving it to bleed, and reverted her blade back into a gun. She loaded it up again as she bit her lip, and she continued shooting. Lavi's stomach turned as he himself itched his arm. She had guts.

Lavi heard a body drop, but the bullets continued to fly. Esperanza came back to reload, and her face was beginning to pale under the browned skin. Lavi knew she had lost too much blood, but he could also guess that she wouldn't quit until the Akuma firing at them was dead. She was very much like a certain other determined Exorcist that Lavi knew, except he happened to have the nifty ability to regenerate after taking massive wounds. Lucky little...

Lavi rushed forwards, dragging Esperanza behind, and he slammed into the downed Akuma. It was a Level Two, and he smashed into the little shack he had once called home. Lavi suddenly threw Esperanza behind a pile of metal, wincing as he heard her impact with the heap, and smashed his hammer down on the Akuma. It screamed once before being abruptly silenced. Esperanza shook herself off, brushing bits and pieces of metal from her duster. She hadn't been given a uniform to wear, seeing as the South American branch was not well funded and only Exorcists with high priority rankings or extreme conditions were given armored coats. She stood next to Lavi, staring into the steaming pile that had once been an Akuma. It was definitely dead. Lavi could see the bullet holes that Esperanza had punched into it, several which should've been fatal but had only missed by a hair. The blood stank to high heaven, and Lavi pulled his shirt over his nose. Esperanza did the same with a handkerchief in her pocket, and they stared for a while at their downed opponent.

They'd thought he'd been one of the men who'd gone up to the spring. Instead, they'd found a monster wearing his skin. Perhaps it was coincidence. Either way, they were not getting any information out of it tonight. It wasn't going to come back, thank God. Suddenly, Lavi was aware of something strange. His mind was drifting again, and he blinked as he felt strangely out-of-focus. Memories began to assault him -

_The rusty smell of decaying metal lingered in the yard, and the other children screamed in delight as they found treasures that others had thought were trash. They frolicked with their pieces of broken wire turned to wands, their lampshades turned to crowns, their pieces of dishes turned to magic scrying tablets, and their pots turned to helmets. Another child ran barefoot after these children, these imaginative souls with their dirty faces and their gap-toothed smiles, but they pushed him to the ground with disapproving looks they'd learned from their elders. Their gazes said 'you are not wanted and you are not needed and we do not wish to entertain your presence as we are too good for your kind.' Their deathly gazes meant absolutely nothing, not yet, because they did not understand why they gave the gazes or that the gazes were anything more than something to do to this one redhead child with two green eyes and his large book. They only knew that he was strange, abnormal, just... not like them. He blinked forlornly as they ran off to play among the wreckage of humanity, that beautiful graveyard of dead, unused things. He merely sat in the dust, flipping through his big book, tracing the words with his fingers, words only he could read because they were stupid, so stupid, so so stupid in comparison and couldn't understand the letters, letters he'd been taught by his mo-_

"_Senor_." The apprentice Bookman was sucked back into the present with a slam. He blinked, staring at Esperanza. She was holding down on her wound, and she asked, "We still have two more men to talk to, and we do not have all night." He stared at her and her unblinking eyes, hardly registering what she just said. He numbly nodded, realizing what had just happened to them. They'd walked up to the house, talked to the man, the man had shot at them upon seeing Lavi's Rose Cross (he'd thought he was a church-hater, and how stupid of him this was a Hispanic country and everyone is Catholic and-), they'd hid in the yard, they'd shot back, they'd fought back, and now there was a dead Akuma and _his memories were escaping the tight bonds he'd created._ He could feel panic slowly padding around his well-built fortress of reason, cold logic, and fake cheer. It was an oil that would not wash off, and it seeped into all his cracks, filling every crevice...

"Then we should go, senor," she said simply, leading him away by the arm. He suddenly jerked himself into something more active to take his mind off the pouncing fear that was beginning to override all of his thoughts. He wouldn't let it eat him. He could figure out how to fix this. He just had to call Bookman, tell him about it, and maybe he'd know what to do. For now, he just had to keep moving. He grabbed Esperanza, and he took her arm.

"First let's get this fixed up, okay?" he asked, smiling cheerlessly. An expression flitted across Esperanza's face quickly, but it was so fast a twitch that Lavi couldn't pinpoint what it was, exactly. He walked her over to the horses, and he pulled out the black doctor's bag, quickly grabbing gauze and a few bandages as well as clips to hold it. He peeled back her sleeve, and he was momentarily surprised by the amount of graze wounds on her skin. There was almost an equal number of faint colored scars as there was browned, sun-warmed skin. She was warm and vibrant, though quickly beginning to grow chilly what with her blood loss. The cut, luckily, had been clean. He poured alcohol over it, and he wrapped it in gauze. Esperanza never uttered a word. She only grunted in pain as the alcohol hit fresh, open flesh, and Lavi felt jitters crawl under his skin in empathy. He'd had his fair share of alcohol over wounds, and the smell still brought back the memory-scent of death and blood.

Without another word, they mounted and rode to their next destination, leaving behind the empty scrapyard and its multitude of questions.

* * *

><p>The two rode wearily back into the main part of town at nearly three in the morning. The other two houses had been off on the outskirts. Each one was at least an hour's ride there and an hour's ride back. Both men had acted strange, until Lavi noticed a few key things that shouted 'Akuma'. Especially when a random gun pokes out the back of a guy's head and starts ejecting compressed, bullet-shaped Akuma oil. Both of them were now very tired and very worn out. Esperanza had taken out their second man, while Lavi had taken a bit of damage from the collapsing house (merely a gash across his back - easily fixed up though it'd need stitches), and Lavi had obliterated the third Akuma they'd found, though Esperanza had taken a blade to the hand (also easy to fix and also in need of some stitches, along with her arm). The bloodied, tired twosome rode the empty streets, only encountering bums and the occasional late night walker.<p>

Still, the dark alleyways were a bit worrisome, and Lavi had a lot on his mind. Shadows jumped, and he himself would jerk at dark, moving things in the dark, usually only _un gato negro _or _un vagabundo. _Suddenly, however, Esperanza tensed in her saddle, her horse nickering as she pressed her spurs deep into his flanks. Noticing her abrupt wire-tight demeanor, Lavi looked around for the cause of her discomfort, and a few figures oozed from the shadows.

They wore scuffed jeans with boots, and their shirts were made of cheap flannel. Their sleeves were rolled up, showing tattoos that were hard to see in the dark especially against their skin, and their eyes gave the impression of the unforgiving type. They wore bandanas around their necks or arms or in the pocket of their jeans, and a few wore had dusters and caps. Their faces were square, chiseled, and set into their expressions. Lavi felt like he could chip at their faces with a shovel, and nothing would happen to them.

Esperanza muttered something under her breath, but he didn't catch what it was. She stared at them as they stood across the road, staring at the two.

One of the men spoke in Spanish, and Lavi caught something along the lines of a curfew. They didn't look like police or anything close to law enforcement. He flickered an eye towards Esperanza, hoping she'd catch sight of it, but she didn't. Instead, she yelled something to the man who'd spoken, and he only spat on the ground.

He walked towards her, and he stopped right underneath the head of her horse. He grabbed the horse's bridle, and Esperanza pointed her gun. Lavi had to admit, she was quick on the draw. The beads of her rosary morphed fast. However, in answer to the one click of a gun's hammer being cocked back, several more followed suit. Lavi realized they were in a hostile situation pretty fast.

"_Quien son?" _Lavi asked quietly, his eyes on the guns. He already had his hammer in his hand, just in case. Innocence stopped regular bullets just like Akuma bullets.

"_Son bandoleros_," Esperanza answered quietly as she stared into the man's eyes. She swiftly dug her free hand into a saddle pack, and she pulled out a purse. She put away her gun, handing it to Lavi, and she pulled out several bills and a couple of coins. She coughed over the money, and she watched the man count it, bill by bill and coin by coin. Each one seemed to make her teeth grind and her jaw tense more and more and more. Lavi was suddenly glad he was holding her gun. She gestured for it back, and he quickly handed it back. The men disappeared into the alley ways, while the cheeky one who'd take Esperanza's money gave her a cocky salute. Esperanza leveled her gun at him, and he ran. She could easily shoot him in the back... but she changed her mind, deciding it wasn't worth it here in the middle of town.

"Okay, bandits I understand. But that was a very strange sort of thievery," Lavi stated. Esperanza stared at him, and she started to canter forwards. He followed.

"_Senor_, there are powers in this town that were chosen, and there are powers here that were bought. _Senor Dominguez, _the Poppy Lord, is one of the bought ones. He farms opium, and much of the reason the town stays alive is because he is very, very rich from it. He hires the workers to farm the poppy seeds for his laudanum, and he takes water from another desert river far from here, perhaps twenty, thirty miles. Unfortunately, we depend on him... and in doing so, we also are at his mercy. Those were his men. They believe they run the town, and they have power in numbers and their own idiocy. _Senor Dominguez _himself is not at all a bad man, but he tends to... turn a blind eye," Esperanza explained. Lavi stared at her before saying, "You've lived here a while, haven't you?" She almost smiled. _Almost. _

"Knowledge is power. Power keeps me from being dead. Me being dead means I can not help," she stated. She urged her horse forwards, and Lavi smiled in response to the answer. That was very true. He'd have to write that down.

They arrived at the hotel more or less unhindered. Lavi walked stiffly to his room, and Esperanza followed him with the black doctor's bag. She motioned for him to undress, and he stared for a blank, confused moment before she rolled her eyes and started doing it for him.

"Your _back, Senor._" Lavi, unaccustomed to such immediate care, realized that she was going to fix his back, and he quickly acquiesced as his shirt was peeled off.

"It's your turn afterwards, though," he muttered as he stood, shivering, in the room. Was it just him, or was it cold...? Esperanza motioned towards the twin bed, and he lay down. He couldn't see the needle (his head was turned the wrong way), but he imagined he could hear it sliding across the thread. Esperanza went and fetched spirits from the bartender still awake downstairs, and she began to slid the needle and thread through a shot of liquor. Lavi winced as he heard it drip. He absolutely _hated _it when stuff like this happened. He couldn't stand stitches.

He felt a small pinprick on his back in the vicinity of the dull ache where his gash happened to be. Cold, liquid ice began numbing his back, and he closed his eyes tight. All he felt afterwards were tugging sensations. He didn't like that feeling either.

"How are you such a medical expert?" Lavi asked, feeling strangely drowsy. Not entirely odd, considering he'd been up nearly all night. Esperanza looked down at him with a look that could've been one of amusement.

"A _vaquero _or a _vaquera_ may encounter many things while on the range. We must know how to fix all wounds with what we have. We ride a long ways from home, _Senor, _and we must watch each other's backs whenever possible," she stated clinically. Her hands were swift, that was for sure.

"So you've stitched up quite a few people?" he asked, and she answered,"_Si_." Another tug, this one sharper. The anesthetic wasn't very strong, obviously. There was a bit of a pinch there. He scrambled in his brain for another question.

"So have a lot of people had to stitch you up?" he asked. For a moment, the tugging sensation stopped. Lavi realized he'd touched a nerve, and he backtracked.

"Y-you don't have to -"

"_Si...Senor. _I have. I am... reckless, at times," she answered. She put her hands down on Lavi's back, her hands quivering. She was still weak from blood loss, and Lavi could feel that she was cold against his skin where the anesthetic had no jurisdiction over his nerves.

"Esperanza..." he said, trailing off. He began to lift himself up, but she gently pressed him back down.

"I will finish. And then you may start on mine," she said calmly, her voice holding the barest of nuances. Lavi still didn't know what it was, though, she was feeling. Bad memories, perhaps? She was feeling more comfortable with him, maybe? What was it? Suddenly, he felt fingers trace an old wound over his shoulder, and Esperanza asked, "Where did you get this? This is... a strange sort of scar." Lavi looked over his shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of it. He could see Esperanza rolling her eyes, and she took a mirror out of the doctor's bag. She showed him.

He winced, and he stated, "That's, uh, that's from a long time ago." Unlike his mind, his body was not compartmentalized and therefore bore reminders of old battles and injuries, each one with a different story. He was covered in them, but that one in particular was a special injury. It'd been caused by a poison that someone had thrown at him when he was only fourteen-

_eating through his back and it burned like hell and his teeth were on edge as he felt his vision slip around and it hurt so bad and he wanted it to stop why wouldn't it stop it wasn't _

Lavi blinked, and the memory disappeared. That was the second time that night. Perhaps... perhaps it was just because he was tired. That was it. He was just tired. Esperanza was staring at him with a weird look, and he asked, "Is there something wrong?"

"You looked... _muy extrano. _Almost like you were scared," Esperanza stated. Suddenly, she started to sway, and she quickly began again on his back, finishing within minutes. Lavi was quick about fixing Esperanza up herself, telling her to take off her own coat. He'd have to cut through her nice shirt, but it was either her shirt or her arm. He did the whole routine, keeping it clinical as he injected anesthetic, swabbed with alcohol, threaded a new needle. However, as he began stitching her arm, he couldn't help but notice the massive amount of tick marks over her arms, as if she'd walked through a briar patch. They were in neat rows, one by one by one, and many of them were the lurid color of wounds that had never fully healed right, reopened over and over until it finally turned into a raised piece of skin.

"Where did you get all these?" Lavi asked. Much of the mystery surrounding her happened to circle around those scars. He suddenly didn't care about tact. He was too tired and too curious all at once.

"And what about this?" he asked, pointing to another on her collarbone, a small scar that starburst over her skin. He pointed to the one on her neck, and then finally, to the three ugly wounds that had once marred her face but left only ghosts of themselves over her eye. Tentatively, he touched one... and then realized what he was doing, and he jerked his hand back as if touching something hot. Esperanza only stared, her face flickering in shadow as the one candle they'd lit began to gutter and flicker. Her own expressions seemed to follow the candle's example, going through many expressions as she fought with the questions, and Lavi realized what his reckless curiosity had done. Reigning in his natural curiosity and trained inquiry, he stammered, in an attempt to rectify the situation, "I'm sorry, I... I'm a Bookman, and I'm trained to ask questions -"

"These are from the ranch I worked on," she answered in a deadpan voice, pointing to the starburst on her collarbone. She pointed to the ridges along her arms and stated, "These are from the maids I worked with." And then, finally, she reached up to her face, touching the scars. She lowered her eyes and stated, "These are from an accident with a chicken when I was younger." Lavi blinked with a rather surprised expression as he continued stitching.

"A...a chicken? Those are from a chicken? I would've thought, you know, a coyote or a rabid dog or something," Lavi said. Esperanza's mouth was set in a less-than-amused line, and Lavi realized that maybe it wasn't as funny as it seemed. Esperanza looked away, her face suddenly taking on a more bashful and embarrassed expression.

"I, uh, I was in an accident when I was much, much young. I remember, a little. I threw rocks at small chicks, and then Mother Hen came and _scratch_." She made the motion of claws over her face, and she shrugged.

"Is anti, uh... anticlimactic, _si?_" she asked, and Lavi nodded. He should've guessed. A wound like that, and her being so young... If the wound hadn't healed right, it would explain the large scars that were present now as part of her physiognomy.

"Now, your turn," she said, offering her hand. He began stitching the cut across her palm after doing the anesthetic-and-liquor routine. He looked up at her, and he asked, "All right, ask away." She pointed first to the scar on his shoulder, the one she'd pointed out before.

"This one. What is this one?" she asked. Lavi paused, and he stated, "It happened in a war." He continued stitching. He could sense the anticipation that almost radiated off of Esperanza. She would've made a good Bookman. She had that nose. He could see it whenever they were interrogating the last two 'men'. Still... he almost shuddered. He couldn't put her through something like Bookman training. Especially at how old she was now, it was near impossible...

"I got hit with a dart. It had poison in it, and I was fleeing," Lavi stated, just as clinically detached in his delivery of that piece of information as Esperanza had been about her scars. She moved on to another one.

"Your neck. What are these two?" she said, pointing with two fingers to two indents in his shoulder where his neck joined the rest of him. Lavi smiled, and he said, "That, dear Esperanza, is where a friend of mine bit me in order to save my life." Esperanza gave him an incredulous look, and Lavi laughed. To see an expression on her face other than a pokerface or a firmly set look of contemplation was a relief. He had almost begun to believe that her face was glued to those two expressions.

"It's true! One of my friends is a psuedo-vampire. He sucked Akuma blood out of me. I got shot," he stated, and Esperanza stared at him with a perplexed look.

"What is... psuedo?" she asked, and Lavi said, "It means fake." She frowned, still confused, and Lavi explained Crowley's disposition to her. She still seemed skeptical but decided to accept his word.

"You are a strange man, _senor,_" she stated, suddenly tired. He could see it in her shoulders and in her face. She was trying so hard to stay awake, but the blood loss and the fighting had worn her down. She needed sleep, some food, and a hospital. Though, if her scars spoke for her, it seemed she'd gotten through worse.

"Why do you have so many scars? Like, why did you get into so many accidents? Why do you fight so hard sometimes?" Lavi asked. Esperanza looked up at him, both bright blue eyes strange in the face that housed them but familiar in that the color was common where Lavi hailed from. Good ol' Europe, them with their blue and green and gray eyes.

"We live by a Bible verse here in the desert, as the Israelites before us," Esperanza said, and Lavi almost groaned. He'd heard too many of those...

" 'All of this is a chasing after the wind.' It is from Ecclesiastes. That chapter is of how this world, without God, means nothing. And to us, we have nothing. Therefore, we do not hang on to our lives quite as fervently as most," Esperanza explained, her eyes suddenly far off as she stared into the light of their one candle. Lavi began finishing up his sewing job.

"This means that some of us are reckless. Others become careful. Yet others waste their life because they do not believe that it is worth much, as everything passes away and they will be no more. I am the reckless one," she said, rubbing the finished stitches in her hand. Lavi put away their supplies. He began to understand what she meant... He'd memorized the entire Bible, after all. It was a good tool for teaching him to memorize to the smallest detail, and Ecclesiastes had been especially... morbid and depressing. Perfect for this little town, it seemed, with its dead end location and aridity.

Lavi sighed, and he said, "Well, it's as good a reason as any other, I guess. Our lives are forfeit to the Big Guy Upstairs." He didn't really believe this, but he'd kept up the facade for so long he'd come close to buying into it. God would not allow the atrocities Lavi had witnessed. There was no God. Still, a little positive illusion wasn't hurting anyone, it seemed. He looked at Esperanza, and he realized that in the morning she was definitely going to need to go to the hospital for a blood transfusion. Her skin was pale, and she was a little clammy to the touch, though that may just be him in this cool desert air. He got up and put the black doctor's bag in the closet. He didn't know how to do a transfusion to save his life, so he'd leave that to whatever doctor he could find in the morning. Not to mention, he'd need to do the same. He himself was feeling the effects of blood loss and fatigue, his eyes beginning to droop like weights. He'd only just managed to stay upright.

"We'd better get some sleep. Busy day tomorrow, right?" he asked, but Esperanza didn't answer. He looked back over his shoulder. She was sound asleep, sitting up in his bed. He found himself smiling slightly. She looked like a small child that had stayed awake for far too long. Her dark hair was spilled over her back, and her head was cocked to the side. He gently pushed her down on the bed, and he walked over to her room instead, taking her room key. No need to start rumors with the maids.

* * *

><p>Lavi jerked awake with a start. He slowly sat up, realizing something. First of all, it was getting hot. He'd been sweating under his sheets. Second of all, all three men healed by the waters of the spring were Akuma now. Was that some sort of correlation. Third of all, he was feeling vaguely sick all of a sudden. Very quickly, Lavi ran towards the bathroom, and he threw up into the toilet. There was knocking at the door, and Lavi forced himself to answer, despite the fact he was shirtless, smelled like sweat, blood, and rubbing alcohol, and probably wasn't a sight for sore eyes.<p>

He stood there, staring at Esperanza. She looked worse than she had last night. There were bags under her eyes, and her skin was almost deathly pale. Something was very wrong here. She swallowed, and told Lavi, "Something has happened." Lavi frowned, and he dressed as fast as he could.

"We need to get you to a hospital first," he said as they walked downstairs, but Esperanza said, "No time. An Akuma attacked someone last night, the man who'd worked with the priest who had died." Lavi could already tell this was beginning to stink of Noah influence. Something wasn't right here. He looked at Esperanza and stated, "All the men we visited who'd gone to the spring were Akuma, and the priest... what happened to him? Did he ever come back? Dead or alive?" Esperanza shook her head. They walked past the bartender, and he stated, "_Un momento, por favor! _There was a telegram for the _Senor _here, and I heard you two come in _anoche_. I arranged for _un medico_. Here, you wait." He motioned to both stools.

Esperanza immediately sat down, and Lavi followed suit with hesitation. He wouldn't have taken her for the type to immediately allow someone to help her.

"Why are we sitting here -?"

"You never, _never _push away hospitality, _Senor. Es muy irrespetuoso._ Much disrespect." Lavi suddenly understood, and he nodded. They waited for a few moments, and Esperanza finally asked, "Tell me about what you think is happening. Innocence or no?" Lavi rubbed his chin in contemplation, realizing he'd have to shave soon because he was beginning to grow a very fine layer of red stubble.

"Not Innocence, I don't think. Innocence can cause damage, and it can definitely maim, but it is never solely to kill. Innocence is weird, though, so maybe it _is, _but this isn't average Innocence behavior. It stinks of black magic, so I may have to call in another group to investigate," Lavi said, rubbing his eye with weariness. He was feeling so tired, so drained...

_Another desert, another place, another river with something foul-_

No, no, no, and no. He was not going to let this memory escape. He stuffed it in its box almost violently, making sure that it was securely fastened away in the prison of his mind. He needed to call Bookman. This was getting out of hand. His memories shouldn't be escaping like this. They were running rampant, blurring into the other people he'd been and -

"_Senor_? Is there something wrong? You need to drink water, or else you will be dehydrated," she stated, and she motioned to the bartender. He brought two glasses of water. Lavi stared into the glass, and he guzzled the water. He stopped a moment, and he stared at the water. Another desert, another place, another river... Memories assaulted him mercilessly, but they reminded him of another situation, one that was not exactly similar, but could possibly lead to another idea, and another, and another...

"Where did this come from?" he asked, and he looked towards the bartender. Esperanza was already drinking the water as quickly as she could. She stopped a moment, noticing his stare, and she said, "I... I don't know. Usually, our water is from the surrounding towns with aquifers." The bartender guiltily looked away, and he said, "The river. It is water from the river. They have been bottling it." Lavi suddenly felt sick. He thought about all of those Akuma, about the little girl who'd died, about the priest who'd supposedly died as well.

"I need to see her body," Lavi stated, staring into the cool crystalline surface of his glass.

"_Que- "_

"I _need _to _see _that little girl's body," Lavi stated again, this time much more fervently. If he was correct, that meant anyone who drank from the river could be poisoned. He needed to know, because if he didn't figure it out, if he let this eat at him...

"_Senor, _we do not know if we can allow such a thing. The people will be in outrage," she said. Lavi shook his head, and he stated, "I don't care. It might save their lives. The river could be poisoned with Akuma blood, and they'd never know. I'm starting to get an idea of what's going on. _Take me to her body._" Esperanza stopped for a moment, almost stiffening... and then she said, "When?"

"Today, at the most. Now, if you can," he said.

She got up and started for the door. Lavi trailed behind her. The bartender merely washed the glasses, sighing to himself. Stupid young fools. That doctor would come here for nothing, it seemed, other than perhaps to trail them. At least he knew where they were going.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thank you , thank you, _thank you. _I'm amazed that I ended up with two reviews for the very first chapter (which is, quite honestly, a bit of a record for me). Special thanks to the first reviewers, TaoueriT (I'm so sorry if I butchered that), and to Tsuki-Yume as well for their input. I know I kind of have a habit of forgetting my poor, poor reviewer after a while, so drop me a line if you want to give special notice to some neglect. My readers need love, after all. Thank you, also, to TaoueriT and Anim110 for alerting to the story (because I know you people who decide to get alerts need love, too). Hopefully, this story gets to be as fun as Amestris AD, Decomp, and MWN.


	3. Sangre, Ganados, y Una Muerta Nina

Lavi stepped out into the bright sunshine and right into a fist. He was thrown back through the saloon doors, flat on his back with his nose bleeding like a faucet. He blinked blearily, hearing the sounds of a scuffle. He quickly got up, wiping his nose on his sleeve and hanging off the doorjamb as he watched Esperanza get beat up, three to one. He easily ended the fight by smashing his hammer into a few of them, breaking a couple windows in the process and sending the rest of them scurrying back. Esperanza sat up in the dust, wiping her mouth belligerently. Her eyes drilled holes into the rest of the men that had come to attack them. Another man lay cowering the dust not far away, and Lavi recognized his garb as that of a doctor. He had a torn eyebrow, several forming bruises and part of his cheek under his eye was swollen.

Lavi helped him stand, and he asked well spoken Spanish, "_Estas bien?_" He saw blood on the man's dark coat, and the man stuttered in heavily English-pronounced Spanish, _"N-n-no, no estoy herido. Estoy bien, senor, muchos gracias. Pero... mis botellas de sangre..."_ Lavi looked down, and he realized that the man had been carrying various bottles of blood with him, letters and notes attached to them. They were broken, and the blood had leaked everywhere on the ground. Suddenly, someone grabbed Lavi by his hair and jerked him backwards, and he saw the brief flash of a knife before it was suddenly shot out of the man's hand.

A different group of men were headed towards the first group, and the latter scattered before the former. Lavi was released, and he was held up by two of the men who'd arrived. Two of the men wore shiny badges on their vests, and they all wore the Argentinian chaps on their legs, but they were small and close to their hard-worn clothing.

"Miguel," Esperanza said, helped up by another man. This one had a large bushy mustache as well as a well trimmed beard. Most of them were dusty, in their middle to late thirties, and a little worn. However, despite their grimy exteriors, Lavi could see that they kept themselves as well groomed as they could with what they had. There were perhaps ten in all. Almost every one wore a hat, wore gloves, and had the telltale tan of a man who wore a hat too long in the day and only cooked on one part of their face. Lavi quickly made the assumption they were ranch hands riding into town for a drink when they'd come across a group of people being beaten up in the street. It also seemed that Esperanza was pretty comfy-cozy with this particular bunch.

"You know them?" he asked, and Esperanza nodded. She introduced him to the man with the mustache and beard as well as a star on his wide-brimmed hat. He had a gun slung across his back and a pistol in a holster.

"_Este es Miguel. _He is a sheriff here in town, but he has been away at his other job, as a _jefe _on a ranch. Two are deputies," she said, pointing to the others. They had already filed into the bar. Suddenly, Miguel and Esperanza entered into a fervent conversation, and Lavi watched as they talked animatedly between themselves, almost seeming unaware of Lavi's presence. It looked as if they were old friends. Suddenly, Esperanza stopped, and she said, "You need to tell _him_." She pointed to the redhead. Lavi frowned. Something was going on that he didn't like...

"The cows, they die. We are not to know why. We want you look for us," the man said in broken English, but Lavi understood.

_"Comprendo, senor. Lo hare ahora," _he stated in near flawless Spanish, and Esperanza stared at him with blatant suspicion. Miguel smiled wide, showing two missing teeth, though it did nothing to detract from his happy smile.

_"Bueno, bueno, senor, me has haces mucho alegre. Quiza podemos salvar los ganados," _he said, slapping Lavi on the shoulder. He mounted his horse, and he tipped his hat to Esperanza. He said something to her, and then he disappeared down the street.

"A fellow vaquero?" he asked. Esperanza only nodded. She was still pale in the sunlight, and the doctor was gathering his scattered things.

"Who were the guys that attacked us and him?" Lavi asked, and Esperanza looked lazily over her shoulder to the doctor. She shrugged, spitting blood on the ground.

"Probably some of the local drug lord's thugs. They are not like him. He at least has a shred of honor left to him. They abandon all integrity. They must've heard of our insolence and wished to make examples of us," she stated. Lavi nodded, and he looked back at the doctor. He was a white-skinned man, possibly American, a European, or a half-European man with more white showing than the other half. He motioned for Esperanza to follow him.

"You need a blood transfusion," he stated, and Esperanza almost pouted in a very not-happy-about-it way. Lavi suppressed a smile. Seeing her almost-pout was actually slightly amusing. They followed the doctor into the bar where the early drinkers were having their fill, and the vaqueros were getting started on their first rounds of the morning. The doctor looked behind him in slight fear, and he looked forwards again. He sat down nervously, fiddling with his bag. Lavi and Esperanza sat on either side of him, and they startled the poor man so much that he dropped his bag between his feet, reached down to get it, and banged his head on the table. Finally, Lavi helped him by setting his bag on the table and looking the man in the eye.

He was scrawny, perhaps six foot one, and he had large hands with long fingers and large feet. He almost seemed to big for his body, in fact, a gentle giant given his profession. He gulped nervously, and he asked, "Yes? What is it you want? I can't give a blood transfusion like the barkeep said because the blood bottles are broken and -"

"That's easily fixed. Use my blood. I've got plenty," Lavi stated, and Esperanza glared. She hissed, "I will _not _accept your blood. It would be inhospitable, and I have enough to worry about already." Lavi frowned at her vehemence.

"Why not?" he asked, almost sounding disappointed. Esperanza's eyes narrowed, and the good doctor coughed into his hand.

"I would go along with the young lady if I were you. They, uh... they're pretty superstitious around here, especially about things involving blood, water, that sort of thing. A white man's blood is considered a curse or at the least a sort of social stigma. If you haven't noticed, they're not fond of us," the man said. Lavi raised an eyebrow, and he asked, "Is anyone else willing to give up a pint or two for you, then?" Esperanza got up, talked to a man across the room, and they both walked over.

"Get it done," she said, her tone somewhat less vehement now as she cooled down. Lavi sat there watching as he viewed the transfusion with a clinical detachment, filing away each detail. Lavi finally got up, deciding there was nothing more he could do here, and he walked towards the telephone at the far end of the bar next to the bathrooms. He quickly dug his golem out of his pocket, and it fluttered happily in his hand as it realized it was about to be put to some use. He put in the code on the back, and he began dialing. Finally, someone picked up.

"Hello? This is the Dispatch Center of the Black Order; how may I help you?" a cool female voice said, and Lavi sighed in disappointment. He hated getting rerouted to the Dispatch Center. It took forever and a day to get anywhere with them.

"I need to contact Bookman. I'm his apprentice, Lavi," he said, and the woman only said, "Hold for a moment." Elevator music played in his ear for about ten to twenty minutes, and by then Esperanza was looking a little impatient with him. He didn't blame her. He was getting close to hanging up.

Finally, it quit as an elderly voice rasped, "Hello? What do you want? I'm busy." Lavi could've kissed the receiver. Bookman obviously was not in the best of moods, but better he was there and grumpy than not at all. After all, this was practically lightspeed with the Dispatch Center. Lavi remembered one time he literally waited three days to talk to Kanda...

"Bookman, we have a problem," Lavi said, tapping his foot.

"Did you forget your underwear again?" Lavi reddened. He spluttered, "No! That's not it." Bookman 'hmphed' and asked, "Then what is it that is so important you must interrupt my bath?" Lavi winced at the ensuing mental image, and he shoved it out of his current frame of mind.

"All my memories... they're leaking into each other," he said quietly, almost guiltily. It sounded like an attack on Bookman's training methods to suggest that Lavi was becoming defective. Bookman was quiet.

"When did it start?" he asked, as if it were a symptom of some disease. Lavi thought back and said, "Probably the minute I got here." There was the sound of the cord rustling as Bookman switched it over to a different hand. He was silent for a moment before saying, "Lavi, you must start rebuilding the memory palace I taught you. I believe as time has gone on, you have neglected to meditate enough to keep the memories separate. This is a very large problem, and you know it. I want you to take the time tonight to meditate on keeping the memories apart. If you do not..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Deep madness, going insane, too much to keep up with, yada yada yada," Lavi stated glumly. Bookman could always be such gloom and doom, though not without reason. They had a short conversation before Lavi asked, "Bookman, you think you could -"

"Lavi, part of the agreement I made with Komui was that I would let you do this mission without my help. I will not be around forever." Lavi winced. If that wasn't the truth. Bookman was getting on in years, but that didn't mean Lavi liked being reminded that his tenure as a Bookman apprentice might be cut unexpectedly short.

"I know that. Um, I should go. You know, Akuma to kill, rivers to investigate, that sort of thing," Lavi said sarcastically, and Bookman only 'hmphed' again before hanging up. Lavi hung up himself, though hesitantly.

"What do you mean, 'your memories leak together'?" Lavi nearly jumped out of his skin as Esperanza stood right next to him with her arms folded and one hip cocked. She'd snuck up on him. No wonder she'd survived this long without any sort of formal training. At the least she'd know how to run away without drawing attention to herself in a firefight with Akuma (though her scars said otherwise).

"I-I'm a Bookman's apprentice. We record history, and we stay unbiased. We have... ways of keeping ourselves that way," he said hesitantly. He didn't want to go telling her all about a Bookman's methods, not to mention they were supposed to be secret. She looked skeptical again, but she seemed to let it go with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I have talked to the doctor. He examined the body of the little girl who died on the mountain. He said that there were no marks on her whatsoever. The burial plot is an hour's ride from here," she stated coolly. Lavi eyed her, wondering what exactly she was feeling and if she still felt hostile towards him for offering his own blood in order to help her.

"All right. Then what are we waiting for?" Lavi asked, and they walked out. As they mounted, though, Lavi asked, "Why were you so angry at me for...?" He pointed to his arm, and Esperanza sighed long-sufferingly. She looked away from him, out towards the other houses and small alleyways. She pointed far down the road, and she said, "Do you see that? That white building? Do you know what it is?" Lavi picked apart her Spanish lilt for any trace of emotion other than weariness. Nothing.

"It's a clinic," Lavi answered with equal blankness. Esperanza nodded. They continued riding, and Esperanza pointed to another building.

"_Y este?_" Lavi smirked as he answered in Spanish, _"Es un refugio de las personas sin techo."_ Esperanza only lifted one eyebrow in slight amusement before they kept going. She pointed to yet another building.

_"Un iglesia,_" Lavi stated, and Esperanza nodded.

"All of these, built by white men. All of them _abandoned _by white men, as well. We did not know them, they did not know us - and poof. No help. Just buidings that _las personas sin techo _live in. The homeless reap many benefits from it. You make us lazy by building us things, and then you abandon us when you lose interest and move on. And when you come to live here, it becomes worse. You support the drug lords quietly as if we did not already know that you take the laudanum they make, and you hire us for too little pay for too long hours. There is a reason why we call you _diablos blancos. _I did not accept merely for the fact that you would forget you gave at all," she said, and Lavi looked away. White men were notorious for pushing out the local culture in order to substitute their own, but -

"Am I like that, then? The other white men?" Lavi asked, glancing at Esperanza. She cautiously stared him in the eye, and she shifted her weight on her horse.

"No, you are not like that. At least, I hope to _mi Dio _that you are not. I have observed you, and I am not sure yet. Otherwise, you will have proven everything I have said correct. You come, you leave, you forget," she said. They rode the rest of the way in silence.

They found the burial plot easily. A woman was already at the grave, crying and moaning.

"How long ago did she die?" Lavi asked quietly as he dismounted, and Esperanza said, "Only a few days ago. Her funeral was the day before the one that has already passed." It took Lavi a bit to realize she meant 'day before yesterday'. He nodded, realizing this might be harder than he'd thought. That woman was probably the little girl's mother. Lavi felt his heart begin breaking as the woman wailed loudly, flowers in her hands. She was shaking visibly from sobbing, and Lavi carefully took a deep breath, creating a crust over his heart in order to protect himself. There were some things one had to do, and he couldn't let a little thing like empathy get in the way. Besides, it was only too likely that the woman was an Akuma.

He walked into the graveyard and said, "Ma'am... _Senora, por favor, necesitamos ver la sepultura de tu hija... Senora, es muy importante..." _The woman looked up, and she eyed the cross emblem on his chest. Her face was thin and haggard, her eyebrows knitted together. She started to say, _"No...no, no, no, no puedo, no puedo, es mi hija, es mi hija..." _Esperanza walked up to the woman and began to carefully drag her away from the grave, and the woman began to wail loudly. Esperanza was trying hard to keep a hold of her as she strained towards the grave, her mourning shawl swinging -

_This had happened before in another life, with a woman wailing at a grave, unable to leave, wasting away. Isaac watched as she beat her chest and wailed to the sky, screeching to the heavens as he looked on impassively, writing in a large notebook with a newly cut pen, his strokes precise and careful. He did not pay attention to the woman and her pain. All he saw was a female making loud noises at a grave, and he did not care as he walked over to her and drug her away towards a few black cloaked men while several others grabbed shovels and-_

Lavi fell to his knees in front of the grave, digging his hands into the newly turned dirt as he shouted, "Let her go!" Esperanza's voice was one full of question.

"_Senor_-?"

"Just... just let her go. Please," Lavi said, rubbing his forehead. He took off his green headband, feeling tired and worn out. Too much death... too much pain... He'd seen-

What was he doing?

A Bookman was unbiased. They did whatever needed to be done in order to find the truth and document it. They never, ever had sentiment for anyone, only keeping to their little bubble of unconcerned, quiet observation. He wasn't supposed to feel, or hurt, or care. He was only there to watch...only to watch... only to watch...

The woman sat beside him as he chanted this mantra to himself. _Only to watch._ The woman stared with puffy red eyes as she looked back to the woman who had restrained her, that fearsome character with her chicken-scratch scars over her eye and the little nicks and cuts over her cheeks and nose. Not at all attractive, but not ugly either. The woman touched the gravestone with shaking fingers, and she spoke quietly. Between the both of them, redheaded man muttering to himself the same thing over and over with the woman who was quietly crying and rocking back and forth, they sounded crazy enough for any asylum. Esperanza only watched as the woman mourned for several more minutes. The sun climbed to its zenith, and Esperanza began to sweat. The two continued to sit there, lost in their thoughts, while the young Argentinian watched.

Finally, the woman got up and left. Lavi continued to sit there in front of the grave. Esperanza watched the woman leave through the gates, making sure she truly left, before she approached Lavi. He sat up straight as he realized she was nearby, and she asked, "Are you ready?" He only nodded, his eyes dull as he stared at the headstone. The name etched on it was simple, short, and painful.

_Rosa Garcia. 1 Mayo 1852 - 5 Junio 1856._

"I'm ready. Go get the shovel."

Within minutes, they were ready to dig. Esperanza and Lavi were both glad for the shade provided by a half-dead tree standing near the grave site, and they began to chip away at the freshly dug dirt. It wasn't long before they hit the coffin itself, and Lavi had already begun to notice the dark stink that accompanied Akuma blood. Esperanza made a disgusted noise as she drew her bandanna over her mouth and nose. Lavi himself used his headband in much the same manner.

"The doctor did not find anything wrong with her, so why...?" Esperanza asked, and Lavi shook his head. He pointed to the coffin, and she flipped it open. The body inside was a broken statue, almost, though there were bits of flesh in the places where it had crumpled. It smelled like death. The body was almost unrecognizable by this point, though the face was still peaceful as if in sleep. It was that of a small, unlucky Hispanic girl.

"What does this mean, Lavi? Was she, too, an Akuma?" Esperanza asked, and Lavi shook his head. He pointed to the parts of her that had crumbled.

"There would be the metal skeleton, right here. She was infected by the blood. Your doctor didn't notice because he wasn't looking for the right things," Lavi stated. He sighed deeply, and he climbed into the grave. The smell hit him full in the face, and he had to resist the urge to gag. Esperanza herself seemed to be on the verge of puking.

"This smells worse than a dead cow under the sun for seven days," she stated drily as Lavi investigated the body thoroughly, being sure to use his gloves. The virus could jump from body to body through contact easily. He remembered when he and Allen had discovered those bodies at the castle where they'd found Crowley. The bodies had been those of Akuma, however, not of a human victim infected with the virus. This meant that the girl had somehow come in contact with the blood of an Akuma, whether from digestion or skin contact. Lavi coughed as the smell intensified, and he climbed back out.

"She was definitely killed by the Akuma blood virus. It breaks down bodies after a period of days if it isn't treated or the poison eradicated. There was nothing you guys could've done beforehand. What about the guy who killed her? Where is he buried?" Lavi asked. Esperanza shook her head, and she flipped the coffin lid over and filled in the hole.

"Left in the desert to be picked clean. We do not take child-murdering well," she stated. Lavi almost laughed at her dry, morbid humor. He began filling in the hole as well until it was well filled up. By then, though, the both of them were sweating an ocean and thirstier than jackals in the desert. They mounted their horses again after leaving the shovels by the shed of the grave yard, and Esperanza asked, "To Miguel's _ganados_?" Lavi nodded wearily.

"Actually, first, can we get a drink? I'm about to die."

* * *

><p>"I had thought we made it clear that we wanted you to discourage people from going to the spring," Lulu said, cool as the glass of water she had in her hand. Dominguez swallowed nervously, sweat running down his sides under his crisply pressed shirt as he stated, "We have been, <em>senorita, <em>as best as we can. No one has tried to go to the spring, and no one has any interest as well. We blockade the city at night and put on a curfew. Anyone out past curfew must pay a fine to us." Lulu nodded, and she swirled the water in the glass. This action caused more beads of sweat to grow across Dominguez's forehead as she put it down, running a finger around the lip of the glass.

"You like to talk big, though. It seems that sometimes, your talk is bigger than your walk," she said, looking up at the five Level Three Akuma standing behind Dominguez, looking for all the world like suits of armor. She shrugged and stated, "However, we have another task to add to your list, though I know you are _increasingly _busy. We have a few nuisances in town we'd like you to get rid of. They are actually threatening your business... and the chance you have of getting to the spring in the first place." Dominguez's fear seemed to evaporate in light of this.

"Who are they?" he asked seriously. The country house was sweltering in the heat, another cause for sweating, but Lulu didn't seem to perspire at all. One of the Level Threes put a hand on Dominguez's shoulder, and he stiffened. With a look from Lulu, however, the Akuma put his hand down again, and she stated, "They are Exorcists from the Black Order of the Church of the True Faith. I am sure you will find no difficulty in locating them and dispatching of them. After all, you know this town well."

"But... clergymen? I can not kill members of the Church of the True Faith, it is... it is against moral fiber, and the people of the town only tolerate me because -" Lulu's look shut him up. She shrugged, and she stated, "I guess that just means you'll have to make it look like an accident. I don't think anyone will mind the white man being taken care of. If you have to, kill him and him only. He's the only real threat, I believe. The other is a young woman who's only been fighting for the past three years. You'll know them when your men see them."

Dominguez nodded, his mind suddenly full. He looked behind him warily at the scary living suits of armor around him.

"Take a few of them with you. I'm sure the Earl won't mind, as it is in for a good cause. They know how to blend in," Lulu said with a faint smile. She got up from her white wicker chair, and she promptly seemed to disappear. Dominguez sat there sweating. He finally stood up, looked out over the porch of his house at the blooming, poisonous poppy crop only a few yards down his driveway, and he shook his head. He led the Akuma into his house. He had work to do.

* * *

><p>"Ugh! This is disgusting!" Lavi kicked a cow's carcass, and his foot promptly stuck in its rib cage. Lavi pinwheeled as he tried to remove his foot from the cow's innards, only to land on his butt on the dust covered ground. The cow was covered in pentacles and already going through the stages of petrification and decomposition in death. Lavi stood up, brushing himself off. He looked behind him at Esperanza, and she rolled her eyes.<p>

"Ugh, _mi Dio, nos vera sobre. Senor, _that is very uncleanly. Please, do not do that," Esperanza said, ever polite, as Lavi rubbed his grimy boot over the cow's hide.

The entire field was filled with dead cattle. Their stinking carcasses seemed to waft their scent in visible waves under the sun, and the two Exorcists were forced to place bandanas and scarves over their noses. Lavi had forgone his jacket due to the heat, and his neck was already beginning to turn red underneath the sun. Esperanza had kept her coat on, given the fact that she had already suffered from sunburn before and would gladly take the heat rather than suffer days and days of healing burns. Lavi would learn soon enough.

"How many, you think?" Lavi asked, squinting his one eye. His face was dirty, and his hairband was askew over his hair. The red strands stuck in all directions like a haystack, probably held in place by the salt of his sweat and the dust of the earth. Esperanza herself couldn't wait to take a shower soon. She shrugged and guessed, "Thirty head, perhaps forty. I believe they've been drinking the water for the past two weeks or so. That is what Miguel told me outside the bar. This is _muy malo, Senor. _So many dead..." Lavi frowned, and he looked towards the sound of the torrent which had become the _Rio Seco. _

"I think the water's poisoned," Lavi said. Esperanza stared, and she asked, "Are you absolutely sure? Many people have begun to see this as blessing instead of curse. How are you sure?" Lavi looked at the cows. Almost all were dead save two or three which were laying down or hobbling along listlessly among their brethren. He walked towards a particularly fresh carcass. It had yet to begin decomposing or petrifying. He gestured for a knife, and Esperanza pulled a long one out of her boot. He stared at her for a few moments, and she shrugged again.

"This is Argentina, _senor. _Everyone has a knife," she merely stated, and Lavi left it at that. He cut open the dead cow, careful to keep his breathing shallow. Blood poured out of the cow, and the smell of decaying meat flooded over Lavi. It wasn't _that _fresh. He gagged, and he motioned for Esperanza to cut into it instead.

"You were the _vaquera. _I bet you can do this better than I can," he said, and Esperanza gave him a blank look before sighing in a very 'why me' fashion. She began to split open the carcass, and she asked, "What part?"

"Stomach." Before long, she'd revealed one of the four stomachs the cow housed, and Lavi took the final slash. Half-eaten contents spilled out - along with a good amount of stomach lining colored with pentacles. This cow had drank the water from the river, and it'd died of poisoning. Suddenly, things were beginning to take shape.

"The river is poisoned. It must've died from drinking the water from the river for too long. There must be traces of the virus floating around in the water. I don't know what Akuma blood is doing in the river, but I'm going to find it. There is one way I can be sure. If there's Dark Matter in the river, it'll probably react to Innocence, though I'm not sure how," Lavi said, eying the river and its deadly contents. He gestured for Esperanza to follow, and that she did.

They stood next to the river, and he took his hammer.

"Extend," he ordered, and the handle lengthened into a nearly three meter long staff. He pushed it into the river, and the water bubbled slightly. Suddenly, Lavi could see bursts of Akuma blood begin to race towards the hammer and race up the handle before dissipating into nothing. A Noah's Dark Matter could withstand and even destroy Innocence, but in this case, Innocence trumped the traces of blood.

"We'll have to go up the mountain and see what's going on up stream. I don't know what made the water flow again, but Akuma are probably involved if the water's got traces of its blood in it," Lavi said. Suddenly, there was the sound of guns being cocked behind them, and they turned slowly.

"Aw, sh-"

The shooting started.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Thank you, again, for all the wonderful reviews I've been getting!

Thank you to my newest reviewer, quillop, for her input. It gives me great chucks, as my friend Tory would say, to see what you wrote.  
>Thank you to my alerters as well (because alerters need love, too). quillop again (who should get a cyber cookie or something for allerting AND reviewing), Solicide (W00t! LYLAS. Hope to see you around on Skype), and St. Iggy The Pyro.<br>Thank you also to Iggy and Soli for favoriting the story, cuz that means I know someone loves it. Then again, anyone who does any of the three love the story _anyways... _

I hope I can crank out enough chapters that some sort of conclusion is near by the time Lavi's birthday rolls around. If not, there'll probably be a short filler chapter along with the usual chapter as a sort of birthday type special.

Hope to see you guys around!


	4. Esta No Es Una Amorosa

Lavi was very happy that Bookman had beaten reflexes into him. Reflex, reflex, reflex. You hear guns, you duck. You hear guns, you raise a shield. You hear the cock of a gun, and you _get the hell out of there. _His hammer grew to the size of an elephant, bullets ricocheting, and Lavi grabbed Esperanza around the waist and flung the both of them into the river. The water was a cold shock in comparison to the blistering atmosphere. Lavi bobbed in the water, catching a glance of their pursuers. His eyes widened as he saw Level Threes float above the river, following close behind. Lavi dived into the water, swimming as close to the bottom as he could while bullets pelted the water, stopping bare inches from his head. Syringes suddenly pierced the water, and Lavi winced as one sliced into his leg. He finally resurfaced for air, his hair plastered to his face and running with water. He shook his hair out of his eyes, and he quickly used his hammer to bash into a Level Three. It flew through the air like a baseball out of a ballpark, and Lavi let out a triumphant 'A-HA!'

"_SENOR! NO PUEDO-!_" Lavi heard Esperanza's voice, and he came to a gut-sinking realization. Esperanza had probably never seen this much water in her life. She'd probably never been to the ocean, never seen a lake, probably had never even put her toes in the kiddie pool. There was no way she'd automatically know how to swim. In his haste to save them, Lavi had thrown this assumption out the window. He quickly re-prioritized. Save Esperanza from drowning first, and _then _knock the Level Threes out of the sky. He quickly began to swim towards the drowning woman, thinking how heroic he must look (rather sardonically), when he was suddenly aware he was feeling oddly numb in one leg. Suddenly, it stopped moving all together and Lavi's eyes widened.

"That's not good," he mumbled as the river swept him downstream. He desperately tried to stay afloat with the one leg as well as keep an eye out for Esperanza. He hadn't seen her, only heard her...

There! There was one gloved hand flailing, and that had to be her. He quickly dived under the water, hoping that their aim sucked and that they wouldn't hit anything vital. He hauled Esperanza up to the surface, and she spluttered for good measure.

"What is wrong with you?" she shouted angrily. Lavi winced at the amount of volume she was able to achieve. For a woman who had just been drowning, she could yell pretty loud. Lavi dragged the two of them towards the bank of the river. It seemed the river was faster than their pursuers, but Lavi didn't want to take any chances. Esperanza clung to him as he finally found a place to rest. A rock protruded underneath an overhang of dirt and roots. Not moments later, there were the sounds of horses and rapid-fire Spanish. Lavi pressed closer into the alcove, suddenly aware of just how vulnerable they were. The Akuma were floating over the river, looking upstream and downstream. The one that Lavi had batted had a broken arm. At least he'd made a dent.

Esperanza almost gasped at the sight of the Level Threes, but Lavi was quick to slap a hand over her mouth. It seemed they were safe for the moment, as the Akuma didn't appear to catch sight of them. The three Level Three Akuma looked at each other before nodding. They began to leave, and the Spanish conversation turned quiet. Lavi caught the barest hints of words, some he interpreted as 'nothing here', 'drowned', and 'find'. The two stayed in the water for the next thirty minutes or so, waiting patiently for the men and Akuma to leave.

"Who were they?" he asked quietly, and Esperanza shivered and said, "_Senor _Dominguez, I think. There are three main drug lords, but Dominguez owns part of the river. It may have been _Senor Rosariero o Senor Reyes._" Lavi nodded. Suddenly, things were beginning to form in his mind. Someone who controls the river...

"When did Dominguez buy part of the river? Has he had it for a while?" he asked, and Esperanza shook her head.

"From what I have heard, he received it this year. Bought it for fifteen hundred _dineros, _close to three hundred of your English pound," she gasped, quickly tiring after hanging on to Lavi for so long with cold, frozen hands. Lavi decided it was probably safe to get out of the river, considering they were freezing to death in a _desert. _The irony was not lost on him. Esperanza, sensing Lavi's anticipation to leave, quickly removed her rosary and shaped it into a stake attached to the rope of beads. She threw it overhead, and it caught on something. She tugged several times before she began climbing the rope. Lavi followed close behind.

"I'm beginning to think that Dominguez may be up to something. His thugs caught us last night and some people suddenly don't want us near the river. He's a drug lord, and he has power," Lavi said, wringing out his jacket. Esperanza squeezed out her hair, water dripping onto the parched ground. She frowned and said, "But Dominguez is not the only person who owns the river. Reyes and Rosariero do, too, but not the large portions that Dominguez does. I don't know exactly what parts he owns, though. He may be linked, but we won't know for sure unless we can go through his files and search for anything linking him and the poisoned water." Lavi nodded.

"We should probably investigate all the drug lords. Sometimes the Noah make deals with people in order to get their help and let them do the dirty work," Lavi said. So far, all he knew was that the water was poisoned. Lavi looked out towards the town, and he groaned. It was practically five miles away down the river, and they'd have to walk in this horrid heat. Esperanza was less prone to complaining. She walked right past him. It seemed all they were going to do was waltz right into town...

* * *

><p>Lavi was lounging in his room, enjoying the nice breeze coming through the window, when Esperanza walked right in. He cracked his one eye open and asked, "I thought you people knocked?" Esperanza only lifted an eyebrow, and she stated, "There is a <em>fiesta <em>at Senor Dominguez's ranch. It seems that his daughter is having her birthday." Lavi brightened and asked, "Quinceanara?" Esperanza _almost _smiled. Not quite.

"No, senor, I am afraid not. You do not get to see that sort of festivity for a long time. Most children are at the age of seven or eight here in this town, and the older teenagers are eighteen or nineteen. Dominguez's daughter is the youngest of the older teenagers, at seventeen years old. This will be her eighteenth birthday," she said. Lavi suddenly noticed something about her as she turned to sit in the chair across from the bed. The scars on her face...

"Your scars are gone!" he said in surprise. Esperanza's eyes widened slightly in surprise before she seemed to catch up and translate to Spanish. She touched her face, swiping at a cheek, and then held out her finger to him.

"It is _maquillaje. _Just make-up," she said, and Lavi rubbed off some on her finger. It was the same deep color of her skin, and her hair was styled in such a way that the sections of hair that did not grow because of her scars were concealed. It occurred to Lavi that he'd gotten so used to Esperanza and her many scars that he'd actually come to think of them as part of her. He didn't even notice them anymore, but now that they were gone...

If he was honest with himself, she was pretty this way, but he liked her better with the scars. How she was now, she only reminded him of some empty-headed Hispanic girl ready for a party at some rich man's house.

"How did you find out about the party?" he asked, and she handed him a flyer. It practically shouted it. He whistled low at the promised entertainment and food. Guests were expected to bring a present, but it seemed that Esperanza would take care of that. He handed the flyer back, and he said, "Well, talk about a villain with good publicity." Esperanza shrugged, and she stated, "The town tolerates him because he is a good man with a bad job, and things could be much worse. More horrible things have been done than to demand a fine for breaking curfew."

"So, how are we going to get into his files?" he asked, looking up at Esperanza. "Do you know the floor plan of his house, or what?" Esperanza suddenly looked slightly embarrassed as she admitted, "I once was his maid at a point in time. That was before I worked for the white man." Well, that didn't surprise Lavi at all, considering lots of young women started out as maids and worked their way up into a different job.

"All right, that sounds good. Do you think they'll recognize us? Obviously, not you, considering you don't hardly look like you without..." He gestured to his one eye. Esperanza shrugged.

"I visited a friend of mine who is good with disguises and costumes. I go to him if I ever need to go undercover on a mission for the Church. I have hair dye for you, but there is nothing we can do about the eye," she stated. Lavi shrugged. That was fine by him. He might even look good with black hair, who knew? She threw him a pair of slacks and a white dress shirt, and he looked at them with an odd expression. Of course, he had to dress nice for this. He hadn't exactly expected to go to a party, though... Esperanza thought of everything. She would've made an excellent personal aide. Better yet, she would've made an excellent battle butler. Obviously God had other plans for her, though.

"When do we leave?" he asked, placing the clothes next to him. He'd pay her back for them later. He hoped that they fit.

"It is only two o' clock right now. We will leave when the clock tower chimes six times." Lavi nodded. That left them plenty of time to iron out a plan, get a present, and decide what would be done about their appearances and such.

"Got a dress?" he asked cheerfully, and Esperanza rolled her eyes. She sighed, "Yes, _senor, _I have a dress."

"Got a date?" he asked with a wider grin, and Esperanza gave him a sardonic look. He shrugged and said, "It was worth a shot."

* * *

><p>"I didn't think you'd take me seriously," Lavi muttered under his breath as he walked arm-in-arm with Esperanza. He hardly recognized her with the make-up on her face and the dress around her figure (she had one?), and it was uncanny to him that this woman still used the same lilting voice as his partner. The bouncer looked them over and then nodded as Esperanza showed him the gift.<p>

"It was a good idea," Esperanza answered back just as softly as they walked into the busy courtyard. There was easily a hundred people milling about the brightly lit yard, several braziers burning in order to provide light. The house was decorated with crepe paper and decorations, and a massive table full of food and presents spanned one end of the courtyard. Girls in pretty dresses twirled around on a dance floor with men in well-tailored country suits, and old women in shawls commented on those girls that wore too skimpy an outfit and the men that were too sloppily dressed to be considered welcome. It was busy and lively with chatter all around, and a band was playing on a stand in front of the dance floor.

"Where do we start, then?" he asked Esperanza, and she eyed the house. They'd gone over the plan many times, but he wanted to be sure. Even with his good memory, he didn't want to risk screwing things up. She nodded to him, and she stated, "We should stay out here, though. Perhaps talk to some people. We do not want to look hasty to get in the house. Remember - you're my date." She said the word with a bit of distaste, and Lavi almost laughed. She did _not _sound happy about it, but it was a cover that was easy to use. She headed to the table with its piles of presents, and Lavi left to go and find someone to chat with.

After mingling for a while, Lavi was surprised to see the doctor from before milling around with a small glass of tequila in one hand. He seemed to be nursing it seeing as it was about three-fourths full. He tugged on Esperanza's sleeve, and she quickly looked over from her conversation with two elderly ladies. She nodded to him, and the old women tittered as he walked off. Lavi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He approached the doctor quietly, and he said, "Um, hey there." The doctor looked back over his shoulder, and he gave a nervous smile.

"Hello, there," he said, his English accent very distinct. "You're new around here, aren't you? You look sort of familiar. I can't place were I've seen you from but... oh, wait. You're the man who -"

"Yeah, got beat up in the street, all that good stuff," Lavi said, fingering his still-healing lip. His newly blackened hair swung in his face as he shrugged. The doctor gave another nervous smile, nodding, and he said, "Pardon me if I'm a bit, uh..." He lifted his glass of tequila, and Lavi waved his hands in a 'that's okay' gesture.

"I haven't had anything yet, so I'm not going cake-diving any time soon," he said with a chuckle, and the doctor nodded.

"Are you busy lately?" Lavi asked, trying to make some sort of small talk. The doctor gave a groan, and he stated, "More so than usual. Added on to the usual broken bones and gunshot wounds, I have people with respiratory problems and strange rashes." Lavi seemed to freeze for a moment. Respiratory problems... rashes and skin irritation... An image of several Finders coughing and hacking came to mind, and Lavi said, "Is that so? Why's that, the flu going around or what?" The doctor shook his head.

"I honestly don't know," he stated, "it's all a mystery to me, especially with my Spanish. I can't hardly understand what they've eaten or drank, considering all their disgusting, strange food. It could be any number of things. Maybe it _is _the flu. I hope it isn't, honestly. No one around here is inoculated, and that'd mean a pandemic in a place this small." Lavi winced at the disdainful mention of Spanish food (Lavi himself could eat buckets of it), but other than that decided to drop a hint to the doctor. He was, after all, here to help the people.

"You think the river around here might be contaminated with something?" Lavi asked, and the doctor shrugged. He sighed, and he said, "I honestly don't know, but it'd be a good vector for disease. Come to think of it, most patients drink water straight from the river. I should probably tell them to boil their water before drinking it just to be on the safe side." Lavi groaned inwardly. Boiling for infectious bacteria wouldn't help much if what you're boiling happens to be a supernatural poison.

"Or maybe, just not drink from the river at all," he suggested, and the doctor nodded at the suggestion.

"By the way, I never caught your name," the doctor said, and the redhead answered, "Lavi. Keep it to yourself, though. I don't want my name getting around too much, heh. It's not exactly a common name, and I've already made a few enemies." The doctor shrugged.

"Name's Daniel Schestwise. Nice meeting you." They shook hands, and then Esperanza walked over. Her red-and-black dress managed to make the doctor take two looks, as well as glance at Lavi with an almost envious look. Esperanza whispered in Lavi's ear, "Dominguez is talking to some of his... private customers. I think now would be a good time. Besides many of the older teenagers have gone inside the house to find quiet places." Lavi almost blushed, but he managed to keep his mind on other things. Unfortunately, he suddenly remembered Bookman's warning about meditating and keeping his mind compartmentalized -

Esperanza looked at him meaningfully with odd blue eyes, and he nodded.

"Excuse us," he said, and the doctor gave him a wink.

"You're excused," Daniel said, his smile a little more confident as he toasted to them with his glass. He walked off to talk with a young woman, no doubt a patient given the handkerchief she had at her mouth and her pained look. Esperanza led Lavi away towards the house.

"You remember the plan?" she asked, and he nodded. They would go in, go to the office, systematically go through the desk, the filing cabinet, and the bottom of the desk's wiriting top in case of hidden files, and then they'd put everything back and get out. On the off chance that the two were discovered while going through the files, they'd pretend to be drunk and looking for something that Esperanza had lost or play drunk lovers who'd wanted a quiet place to be.

As they walked into the house, they saw several people pulling on the birthday girl's earlobes, and Esperanza had to explain to Lavi that it was for good luck. One pull for each year she'd been alive, was how it goes. Esperanza herself fingered her earlobes. It'd been a while since she'd even had a birthday party, much less had her earlobes tugged on. Lavi, noticing the nostalgic look on her face, pulled on one of her ears, and she gave a ghost-of-a-smile. Lavi smiled in response. He decided to count it as a smile. It was close enough.

"Not my ears. The birthday girl's," she said wryly, and Lavi shrugged. The smile disappeared as she went back to being all business. She suddenly draped an arm around his waist, and she leaned on his shoulder.

"Go down the hall, take a right, take the stairs, and pretend you're madly entranced by me," she muttered in a sugary voice, and Lavi felt like screaming. This was too weird. Normally, he 'd jump all over the opportunity to drape his arm over the shoulders of a pretty girl, but this pretty girl was Esperanza. She wasn't the type of person one touched without warning or permission. It was like a taboo. It didn't help she was a work partner.

He followed her instructions, the people in the house hardly even paying attention to them. It was much harder to act entranced than it was to walk down the hall without looking at anything other than Esperanza. She pretended to play the smitten Hispanic girl, and he had to say that she wasn't a half bad actress.

They made it to Dominguez's office without incident. Once inside, they left the lights out, working only by a single candle that Esperanza carefully placed on top of the metal filing cabinet. They rifled through the files in the drawers of the desk, and they found nothing other than bills in Spanish and a few pulp magazines. They put everything back carefully, Lavi making sure that everything was just as they found it. They looked in the cabinet, and they found a few interesting tidbits. There were tickets to mountain towns and different restaurant receipts for two despite the fact that his daughter never got out and his wife was dead (according to Esperanza) though that could just mean he had a new girlfriend.

"Here are the maps," Lavi said, laying out a few on the desk. There were several survey maps as well as one topographical map. He looked across it, finding the lines outlining Dominguez's property. There was his main body of property, and then there was the river property he'd bought... just prior to it flooding. And then there were different stamps on certificates for selling water from his part of the river, which was the main body from fifty miles before town and all the way towards the end...

"This is odd," Lavi said, pointing to all of the different pieces of land that were systematically bought out on the river. It even stated who it was bought from. The entire river was monopolized, despite the fact it was now poisonous.

"He must've known beforehand," Esperanza said. "Someone told him the river was going to flood, so he bought out both Reyes and Rosariero. He must not to have known that the water was poisoned by Akuma blood."

"Or maybe he did, and he doesn't care," Lavi stated. They put the maps back, and suddenly Lavi heard something from the hallway outside. Voices.

"Oh crap," Lavi muttered. Esperanza, quick-thinking, shoved him to the floor, and he grunted as he hit it with a thunk. He heard the click of a door handle as Esperanza fell on top of him. Light suddenly spilled into the office, and Lavi realized they were about to be discovered. Esperanza suddenly grabbed his face and muttered in his ear, "_Lo siento, senor_._" _Before he could wonder what she was going to be sorry about, she slammed her mouth over his. He was initially stunned, but then he realized what she was getting at. His fingers wound in her hair as she pulled him closer, and he found his hormones taking over and his hands were beginning to find a mind of their own and the smell of coarse soap with sage woven in was in his nose and this was all so suddenly getting _strange _and now everything was beginning to blur as all he could think about were soft lips, the ridges of her spine, her hands twisted in his hair -

_"Que?" _The two broke apart, and Esperanza looked up in acted embarrassment. Lavi was still a little dazed, but he realized that the man of the house must be standing over them. Esperanza quickly stood up, and Lavi did the same, both of them with their heads low.

_"Yo... yo creido somos eran solo. Por favor, no contas mis padres," _Esperanza said in a childishly small voice, and Lavi realized she was playing up her age. The man, Dominguez, thought for a minute, and he shrugged.

_"Eh. Amor joven. Va._" He pointed out the door, and the both of them sped out of the room. As they walked out of the courtyard, leaving behind the birthday girl and the presents and the loud music and the cake, Lavi muttered, "You could've warned me first."

"And what? Let us get caught?"

"Better caught in the act than caught _in _the _act._"

"_Senor, no comprendo que me dices_."

"Never mind." As he left, however, he saw someone headed towards the ranch, a woman with blond hair, dark sunglasses despite the late hour, and a suit. His eye widened slightly. He never forgot a face. Especially one that was so notorious. He let it go, though, as the two of them disappeared into the night knowing that a line had been crossed and neither was sure what to do about it.

* * *

><p>Lavi paced his room angrily, trying to think straight. It was late, very late at night, and night time was always the worst for times like this. It seemed that the dark side of human nature liked to rear its head during these times, and he needed that the least. Esperanza was in her room changing into something much more comfortable, and Lavi himself had been meaning to change clothes, get the dye out of his hair, maybe even catch a few winks. A random thought intruded in his mind of the doctor recognizing him, and he realized that his disguise had done little to really 'disguise' him. However, one Englishman to another might account for the doctor's quick realization, while to an Argentinian all white men looked the same and therefore forget immediately what he looked like.<p>

He had to get his mind back on track. He continued to pace, thinking about the office where he'd seen all those maps with those lines. What did they all mean? And seeing Lulu Bell, a Noah, heading towards the party... Something stank of the Earl, and that man was right in the middle of it. If he was smart, he'd cash in all his chips now and get out, but chances were he was probably going to play this to the end or until he died. What could he possibly want, though? Oh, right. D'oh. Power over the river, monopoly over water that a month ago did not exist, and all powerful beings to back him up. He'd make a killing off all of it, literally considering how many people were going to die of Akuma blood poisoning.

And then the man himself... He'd looked like a familiar man, the type that was good with children and wouldn't harm a fly, but then again looks were deceiving. After all, look at Esperanza. He hadn't thought that she'd be quite so forward, and besides there was no call for that... was there? Or was he just angry because he'd actually _enj-_

He cut the thought off right there. Bookman were _not _romantic types, nor were they the type to simply go after flesh because it was there. She was a work partner besides, one with scars and troubles of her own and warm brown skin and... and soft hair... and... and all sorts of other things! Lavi threw himself on the bed. Bookman was right. He needed to get his head sorted out. It was getting too cluttered. Too often things got out of their original placements

_like the river Thames on a Sunday morning as he headed to Mass while a woman tried to hand him the coat he'd dropped  
><em>

_the Russian snow as it fell over Moscow while he lived with a Duchess under the name Petya  
><em>

_when he'd gone to China and changed his name to Gao Lee and stayed with a Triad faction  
><em>

_the small Middle Eastern cottage with one goat_

_another woman, billowing scarf_

_two boys, age seven and_

_a man carrying bags of sand_

_songs of birds  
><em>

_too many  
><em>

Lavi buried his head in his pillow and let out a scream. It was muffled by the cotton fabric, dusty with the sand of the desert. He took a deep breath, flopping back over as he tried to get a handle on his emotions. He needed to purge unnecessary details, ones that he didn't need like emotion, opinions, and private thoughts about

_Esperanza and her spine under his fingers_

Finally, Lavi walked over to the bathroom. He turned the water on as cold as he could, stepped under, bit his lip to keep from screaming, and stepped back out. Thoroughly preoccupied with shivering, he sat on the bathroom floor and tried to think of absolutely _nothing. _

_...  
><em>

All those memories that he didn't need, he slowly packed away into small compartments. He couldn't get rid of them - his Bookman training required him to keep all memories, needed and unneeded, but that didn't mean he couldn't shove them in a dark corner for a little while. Each unnecessary memory was carefully stowed like winter clothes in an attic. All of the pain and fear of being shot at and discovered, all the thoughts he'd had about the bartender and his tall scrawny figure, all of the things he'd felt when he'd talked to the doctor and thought of those poor people dying needlessly - all handled carefully like precious treasures despite the fact they were only junk.

But then _damn Esperanza _had to go and do that and the memories were like dynamite to handle with a thousand matches lit all around and he had to find a way to get rid of those memories for good. Those were too dangerous to keep. Sure, he'd let his hormones get the better of him, but it still... it still...

He managed. He stowed those memories in a box of their own, dressed in yellow tape that shouted 'DANGER DANGER' and put in a lead casket just to be sure. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs as he thought hard. All those memories... he hadn't touched them in years. How would he know where they belonged or what to do with them? How did he keep himself from being completely immersed in the memories, unable to pull himself back out? A Bookman's special memory could be a boon as well as a curse.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Knowing it was Esperanza, he refrained from opening the door. There was another pounding on the door, this time much more intense. Lavi stood up and walked towards the door, deciding he might as well face it. There was no getting around her, after all. He'd just have to suck it up and keep everything under wraps. He opened the door, and he stared at Esperanza in near amazement.

Without the make-up, without the dress, without all the hair things and the baubles and all that, there just stood Esperanza as she was. She lifted an eyebrow in confusion towards his wet state and as per usual made no mention of it. She looked awkward standing there, but she finally said, "We need to talk about our plans for the next few days." Business, of course. Lavi nodded, deciding that this was a safe subject. He let her in, closed the door, and he said, "Well, for starters, I'm pretty sure that Dominguez is in cahoots with the Noah. Second, we'll probably head towards the source of the river because if we don't hurry a bunch of people will probably die from blood poisoning within the next few weeks."

"And third, we will need to stay unnoticed. I have had my ear to the ground, and I talked to a few people on our way back from the _fiesta._ Dominguez does not want anyone to know the water is poisoned. The dead cattle have disappeared, and so has Miguel," Esperanza said. Lavi nodded, sitting on the bed. Esperanza looked at him with a concerned expression, and she asked, _"Estas bien, Senor?" _

"Why do you call me _Senor _all the time?" he asked suddenly, and Esperanza seemed a bit taken aback. She regained composure and stated, "I do not know you well enough to call you anything but _Senor. _It is not my place to be so familiar with you." Lavi frowned for a brief moment and was about to say something, but Esperanza said, "Tonight was an exception in order to keep ourselves from being recognized or discovered as infiltrators. I promise, it will not happen again, and I am sorry if it upset you." Lavi wasn't able to speak for a bit, realizing that his emotions had been clearer than he'd thought.

He gave a small chuckle, and he said, "Sorry if I was... I'm not used to -"

"No need to apologize. We will forget it happened." Lavi looked up and nodded at her. He smiled slightly, if sadly, and said, "You know, you don't have to be so stiff with me all the time. I'm not one of those stuffy old guys from the church." Esperanza looked skeptical again, hesitant, but she stated, "I must apologize, as well, then. I am not used to being friend so much as servant." Lavi shrugged.

"Why not be both? I usually am," Lavi said cheerfully. Esperanza had the ghost of a smile on her face as she said, "All right... _amigo. _Perhaps I will take your advice."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Again, thank you, thank you, _thank you _for the reviews, comments, favs, alerts, and whatnot. They really do make my day, and I've been pleasantly surprised by how many people have been looking into this little project fic. I'd like to thank reviewers SuperGoatGrl and St. Iggy the Pyro for their comments on the story (they help make me better writer and you guys get to shout out loud at me and throw produce if you want). Thanks to BznBoy for becoming yet another person to alert the story, too (like I said, alerters need love) as well as SuperGoatGrl.

I will try my hardest to keep this from slipping into meaningless romance territory (we all hate that part of the Literature map, right?) as this is not a romance - it is a Western/Mystery story. Please do give me a good bonk on the head once we go past the sign that says Meaningless Romance Territory: 1 Mile. Pop.: Too Many. I'll be sure to pull on the brakes, turn the plot around, and get right back on track.


	5. Feliz Cumpleanos A Ti

Lavi groggily opened his one good eye, staring at the light with a doleful expression. Couldn't the sun take the day off? He flopped over, groaning, as he shoved the pillow over his head. However, it was getting too hot for that sort of thing, and in this heat you'd have to be stupid to lay in bed with all of the covers on and in all your clothes. Lavi himself was close to shedding his shirt and pants and just sleeping in his underwear. After all, this was his day off.

Wasn't it?

Lavi looked up at the calendar he'd stuck to his wall. It was the 10th of August, and he blinked. Huh, his birthday was today. That was... odd. He was now nineteen years old. Would ya look at that. His birthday had to be the only day of the year where he really, really was truly himself. It was the only day that belonged to him in any significant way, the only personal thing he really kept about himself. Bookman was well aware of his birthday, but not the significance it held to Lavi himself. The redhead sat up in bed, and he thought about it for a while. He'd already reached what would be considered the legal age of adulthood, but this made it feel so final. Like it was saying, "no going back now, no going to Go and collecting two hundred dollars, no wimping out on being the adult."

Lavi got up... and promptly flopped back into bed, deciding it really wasn't worth the effort. It was his birthday. He should get the day off.

That idea went out the window, though, the minute that the door was thrown open by a certain Hispanic woman. He cracked an eye open at her and groaned.

"Come on, _amigo, _we have work to do today. We have been putting this off for many, many days," she said, pulling on Lavi's sleeve. He whined, "But I don't wanna!" Esperanza gave him a withering glance, and he quickly stood up and mumbled, "Yes ma'am." She picked up the pack she'd dropped by the door, and she said, "We have most, if not all, of the supplies we'll need to go up the mountain. I need to buy you new clothes because you can not go up the mountain with just the desert clothing you have. You will die the minute we make the half-way point and it freezes." Lavi dusted himself off, and Esperanza eyed his duckie pajamas.

She pointed to the bathroom and ordered, "_Cambia."_ He quickly went and did as she asked.

"Why do we have to do it _today?_ Can't we do it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or something?" he asked as he quickly changed out of his pajamas into regular desert fare. Lately, they'd had to keep a low profile, change their names, all of that to keep Dominguez (or who ever it was) from learning they were still alive. They'd even switched hotels, though they still frequented their original hotel's bar for the good guava juice it sold, and the bartender there was friendly besides. Over the past three weeks, Lavi had gotten to know Esperanza very well, learning about her family and bits and pieces of her past. What was more interesting were the things she didn't say. He could see it in the way she tensed around maids or soothed a skittish horse. Still, he managed to keep a good emotional distance, but not so much that he disconnected.

"Yes, we do it today. Or else we'll never get it done. You are burning the daylight. We want this done as quickly as possible. Once we have the _burros _we should be ready to leave," she said, sitting on his bed. Lavi walked out, ruffling his red hair as he slipped on his brown headband. He'd switched out his normal green one because of how easy it was to spot. They wanted to remain _incognito. _

"Where are we going first?" Lavi asked. He wasn't exactly sure what they were supposed to be getting, other than his clothes. Esperanza headed out the door, and she said over her shoulder, "Several camping supplies from the Supply Company store downtown, and then we will go to the seamstress. She has clothes ready-made and on hand as well as custom-fitted clothing to sell, so that makes things easier. They only have to fit. We need new shoes, you need a canteen, I need a new hair brush, and we need several cans of _menudo_." Lavi made a face at the last item. He hated _menudo. _It tasted nasty. Still, it was one of the few canned items that were out here, and they needed things that wouldn't spoil. Lavi had already decided he was going to live on beef jerky as long as he could. He didn't care if he got constipated. Nothing was going to make him eat _menudo. _

As they walked out of the hotel, several of the neighborhood children swarmed Lavi.

_"Horacio, Horacio! Juega, juega con somos!"_ they squealed with delight as Lavi laughed, picking up one of the little girls and spinning her around. They bombarded him, pretending to wrestle in the street, and Lavi dramatically shouted, "No! I've been overwhelmed!_ Me ayuda, me ayuda!" _Esperanza rolled her eyes, but there it was again, that _la sombra de una sonrisa. _

"Come, Horacio. We have work to do," she said, going to the side stable for their horses, and Lavi quickly got up, brushing himself off. The children 'awwww'ed at his sudden departure, but he promised them he'd be back later in the day to play with them. The children smiled, their gap-toothed _sonrisas _making Lavi grin himself. He headed towards the stables, but Esperanza was already back.

"Horacio, go ahead and get the horses ready. I have some business to take care of," she said. She accidentally knocked into him, blinking in the sunlight, and she said, "_Lo siento, amigo. _The sun was in my eyes." Lavi said, "_De nada. _It's bright out today, I guess." He watched her walk back, and he narrowed his eyes for a moment at her. Odd. She wasn't usually that clumsy. Even during training, she was light on her feet, and he'd already taught her tricks of the trade that she hadn't originally known. He even gave her the idea of making her rosary into a shield at one point, and he'd found her to be a very good shot.

He walked up to their horses, _Relampago _and _Chuleta. _Relampago nickered uneasily when Lavi walked up to him, but Chuleta was more welcoming. The chestnut horse walked right up to Lavi and put his head in the middle of his chest, spluttering happily as Lavi laughed and rubbed his head.

"Guess what, _Chuleta,_" he said, "today's special, you know?" Chuleta looked at him with one brown eye, and the horse blinked. Lavi only scratched his mane, and the horse whinnied happily, cantering behind him as he got the both of them ready for the ride downtown. Already, trucks were driving down the avenue, people getting ready for their jobs. It wasn't even noon yet, and it was already hot enough to soak the back of Lavi's cotton shirt. He led Chuleta out of the stables, with Relampago reluctantly following behind.

Esperanza walked up to Lavi, and she quickly handed him a pack full of the necessary items for the day. Relampago whinnied in welcome as she clambered aboard his back, and Lavi followed suit.

"Where to first?" he asked, and she nodded down the street. Within thirty minutes, they were at a bakery. He looked around curiously. What were they doing here...?

"Um... Antonia, what is it that you want from a bakery?" Lavi asked hesitantly, careful to use her new pseudonym. She walked up to the baker without even answering, asking specifically for something. The man disappeared into the backroom. She handed Lavi several _pesos. _She asked him quietly, "Could you go and buy lunch for us over at that cart over there? I'm hungry." She turned back and spoke to the baker in rapid Spanish, and Lavi, feeling strangely shunned, decided to do as she said. Obviously he wasn't wanted here. He knew he wasn't exactly an expert on mountain survival, but still... He waltzed over to a cart, ordered a few _humitas, _dough slowly cooked in oil stuffed with corn, cheese, and onions wrapped in corn husks, along with one _empanada _for himself. As he turned to go back to the bakery, he saw three kids carrying a large box out the door and running down the street, gleefully whisper-shouting to each other as if they were on a secret mission. He frowned as he walked in, and Esperanza gladly took one of the _humitas _out of his hands.

"Thank you, _amigo. _I am about to die of hunger," she said, ravenously diving into one and polishing it off with a quick swig from a hip flask. He lifted an eyebrow at her sudden voracity, but nevertheless ate one of his own _humitas. _He looked over at her and asked, "What did you buy?" They began to walk out the door, the baker waving at them with a big smile.

"I bought some special sort of flour for these types of trips. It lasts a long time, and we do not have to worry about anything spoiling. I loaded three bags of it into _Relampago's _saddlebag," she said through a mouthful of food. Suddenly, she coughed and gagged, holding her throat, and Lavi internally panicked. She was choking! Wait... what did you do if someone choked? What was he supposed to do? He pounded her on the back, and she kept coughing. This wasn't working! Finally, he remembered a first aid class that Bookman had made him take, and they'd taught him the Heimlich maneuver! ... That was going to be awfully awkward.

Thankfully, Esperanza coughed up a wad of food on the street, wiping her mouth as she stared at it with disdain. She looked back at Lavi and said, "I must've chewed off more than I could swallow." Lavi sighed with relief, and Esperanza stared at her _humita. _Lavi stared at the dough ball she was holding in its corn husk, and he asked, "Are you going to eat that?" Esperanza stared at him with incredulity, and she took another bite. That meant no.

The next stop on Esperanza's list was the tailor. She was an elderly lady with thick glasses on her straight, long nose, and she wore the black dress of a widow. She spoke in tremulous, Brazilian-accented Spanish to Esperanza while Lavi listened. Obviously, though, the woman thought that Lavi spoke absolutely no Spanish, because she began talking about him in a rather... lecherous way. He stared at her, stupefied, as the woman cackled. Esperanza only shook her head as she said to Lavi, "She says you need to take your clothes off so she can get an accurate measurement." Lavi's one good eye twitched. He liked them older, but not that much older!

"...How about... no?" he said, staring at the little old lady with a wary glance. Esperanza rolled her eyes, and she muttered, "I will stand there with you and make sure nothing happens. Old ladies here can be a bit forwards around here, especially widows. It's only to your underwear, and I do not know if I can find another tailor on short notice." Lavi winced, and he walked with the old lady to the dressing room. She waggled her eyebrows at him, and Lavi felt a shudder roll down his spine. This was just getting creepy.

Esperanza stood in the corner as the old woman dug around in a large desk full of drawers for a tape measure while Lavi took off his shirt and pants. The room was arctic cold, for whatever reason, and he felt gooseflesh spring up all over his arms, making his arm hair stand on end. Esperanza looked slightly amused at his discomfort, and that shadow of a smile reminded him of a certain, sadistic samurai who liked to see him squirm just a little _too _much. The old lady tottered up to him and began measuring him out, from hip to knee and knee to foot, the size around the waist, size around the hips (he could've _sworn _she'd pinched him then), chest, arms, and back, the entire bit and piece. She recorded it all in a small notebook with absolutely miniscule scrawl, mumbling to herself as she did so. She said to Lavi in English, "Wait here. No move." Lavi nodded glumly as he stood there shivering. The door closed, and Esperanza seemed to melt out of the shadows.

"My apologies, _amigo. _I didn't think she'd be quite a handful," she said with a quirk to her lip that made Lavi think of a smirk. She took off her long duster and threw it over his shoulders. It was sun-and-skin warmed, and it felt like heaven. The room was absolutely freezing.

"Why is it so cold?" he asked, and Esperanza said, "The butcher's freezer is right on the other side of that wall. No doubt, the Senora likes it cold. Old people usually do." Lavi nodded, pulling the jacket closer, and he asked, "What's next after this?" Esperanza thought hard for a moment, and she said, "I believe the supply store, and then we will go to the guide town that is right on the outskirts near the river. We will need someone willing to take us up the mountain. Be prepared to haggle and call your superiors for cash. They don't come cheap." Lavi scoffed.

"Komui's paid for worse," he said, and the old lady came back in. She winked at Lavi, and he felt like gagging. The woman smiled, the gaps between her teeth showing, as she put down the loads of clothes she'd gotten from her storeroom.

_"These should fit,_" she said in Spanish. _"They're all good mountain wear. Not too hot for the day, but warm at night. Especially the tight pants. You lucky dog." _She made a smooch face at Lavi, and by this time he'd had just about enough. Esperanza said thank you and shooed her out the door, and the old lady went with a pout. After about an hour of trying on different clothes, Lavi finally had a good number of choices to take with him on the trip, and Esperanza nodded in agreement to the things he picked. It was odd that he'd gotten so used to changing and unchanging in front of her by now, but what the heck, it was just his underwear.

They left the store with their bundle of clothes packed up in bags, strapping them onto _Chuleta's _saddlebags. A few kids ran up to Esperanza, asking something too low for Lavi to hear, and she answered back quietly. They ran off on their own, doing whatever it was young children did on hot, dusty days. As they mounted their horses, however, Esperanza suddenly began heading towards the other end of town, _away _from the supply store, and he stared at her in confusion.

"Esp- Uh, Antonia, where are we going? I thought we were headed to the supply store," Lavi said, and Esperanza looked over her shoulder with raised eyebrows, her scars stretching with the movement. She shrugged and said, "Change of plans. We'll take another way. Trust me." Lavi sighed and kneed _Chuleta _in the side, steering him her direction-

Suddenly, Chuleta reared, neighing furiously and Lavi shouted as he tried to regain control of his horse. Several other carts and buggies steered around the startled horse, and Lavi was suddenly thrown off into the street. He lay there, dazed, as people surrounded him, and Esperanza pushed her way to the front.

"_Amigo, _are you okay?" she asked, looking winded and a little concerned. Lavi coughed, the wind having been knocked out of him, and he realized that he smelled something foul... He'd landed... in horse crap.

"How bad is it?" he asked as the people began dispersing, realizing he was alright._ Chuleta_ walked over to him, nudging his head with its nose. He shooed off the horse, standing up and realizing that it _was _in his hair and on his shirt. He stripped off his shirt, making a face at it and not even daring to touch his hair to feel the damage. Esperanza made a face of disgust at the smell, and she said, "I'm not walking around with you smelling like that."

* * *

><p>"OI! THAT'S COLD!" Esperanza forced Lavi's head back underneath the faucet of a communal spigot, washing out the stuff in his hair as well as looking around for... something. Lavi winced as her fingers combed through his hair, and he asked, "Couldn't you at least be a little bit more gentle?" Esperanza frowned at him, and he laughed nervously. She washed the back of his neck, and his teeth chattered. Several children ran up to Esperanza, chattering on in hard-to-understand Spanish, most of which Lavi didn't catch seeing as his head was under a faucet, but it was something along the lines of 'can we have it yet?' Esperanza shook her head and told them to go play for a bit, and she hauled him out from under the spigot. She handed him her coat, and he used it to towel off his hair and neck and back. His shirt had just been cleaned off as well, though it still smelled faintly of horse poop. He slipped it on regardless. Anything to keep off the sun.<p>

"You're a harsh mistress," he said, and she glared. Apparently, she didn't like that word. She walked ahead of him into the supply shop just across the square, and the little doorbell rang. The shop was small, close, and cluttered with every single knickknack and odds 'n ends. Esperanza asked for a canteen, several pieces of camping silverware, and two large travel bags. The clerk disappeared into the clutter to go and retrieve said items. Esperanza walked over to the jewelry section (or what Lavi assumed was the jewelry section), fingering through old rings and bracelets.

"You're a jewelry type girl?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"My sister is. I was wondering if there's anything she wanted," she said, picking up a small ring. Her eyes almost seemed to turn misty, and Lavi suddenly felt sad. She must miss her family. Most Exorcists usually did. It was almost taboo to visit family as an Exorcist, considering the danger they posed. Lavi felt the urge to put a hand on her shoulder, but refrained. He could not breach protocol so flippantly. It would offend her more than anything else. He turned instead towards the other things in the shop, like the meat grinder and a small glass bird and a paperweight in the shape of a metal piano. After few minutes of perusing the store, his attention was called by a beautiful metal flower holding an ink pot and a blotter. A set of pens sat right next to it, all of them with sharp, carefully made nibs and ebony wood. He brushed them with his fingers, and then pulled them back.

It would be too personal an object to keep. There was... there was no way he'd be able to keep something like that. Not to mention, with pens of that high quality and metal craftsmanship that well done, it must be very expensive.

"Horacio, we have everything," Esperanza said, and Lavi almost forgot his fake name. That was a first. He turned around, and he nodded with a smile.

"All right," he answered, walking ahead of her. He took the bag of supplies she'd come for, and he headed out the door towards the horses. Esperanza looked at the small inkset he'd been looking at, and she looked back to the Bookman Junior outside with his bag.

Minutes later, she stepped out of the store, and he asked, "What took you so long?" She answered tersely, "Bathroom." Lavi shrugged the answer off, and they headed towards their next destination of the day, not even noticing the kids in the street, one of who ran into the supply store and another who picked up a rubber snake that had scared a particular horse.

* * *

><p>"<em>Cincocientos,<em>" the grizzled old man said. He scratched his beard with yellowed fingernails. He sat on a roughly carved stool, cooking something in a large pot. He stirred it as he stared at Esperanza and Lavi. Lavi answered back, _"Cuatrocientos y cincuenta pesos._" The man made a face, thinking about it, and he finally shook his head.

_"No, lo siento senor. No merece la pena, senor. Esto montana es maldito,_" the guide said roughly, spitting on the ground in contempt in the direction of the mountain. The sun was already beginning to set. They'd talked to nearly fifteen of the guides, trying to find a man who was willing to go up the mountain for any price, though Lavi was only willing to pay so much. Lavi nodded and said thanks.

"How many more?" he asked, almost groaning. He was footsore and tired and stinky and he needed a nap. Esperanza didn't look much the worse for wear, though there were sweat stains on her white shirt. It'd been hot. The sun was nothing more than a red ball touching the horizon, and she sighed, "Perhaps another two or three. If we cannot find a guide, we will take a map and go ourselves. I would rather not traverse the mountains on my own knowledge of maps, but I know the Order is not willing to send so much money out for a guide." She sighed, rubbing her temples. She seemed worn down, as well, though not quite so much as Lavi. He was ready to flop down on the ground and give up for the day.

"Eh, hombre. You lookin' fer a mountain man?" an American voice croaked from behind the two travelers. They looked back, looking past the sigh of campfires and such. There stood an old man with a coat of white stubble over his throat and jaw, his teeth reminiscent of tombstones, and his hat full of holes. Lavi nodded, and the man spat on the ground. Black tobacco dribbled over his lip, and Lavi tried to hide a gulp of revulsion. That was just gross. If there was one thing Lavi didn't like, it was chewing tobacco. He'd ruined too many boots by stepping in globs...

"I kin take ya up thar fer little as two hundred pesos and a case a' whiskey," the old man said, and Lavi's jaw nearly dropped. Esperanza's eyes widened, and she asked, "Really? You are not joking at all?" The man shook his head, pulling up his belt proudly.

"I'm a full-out mountaineer and ain't nuthin' stoppin' me from gettin' ter the top a' that thar mountain, 'specially a cursed one. Not tah mention, I dun like traveling with girls," the man said. Lavi almost laughed. Divine retribution was swift. Esperanza rolled her eyes.

"You agree, _amigo?_" Esperanza asked, and Lavi nodded. "Case of whiskey and two hundred pesos? That's dirt cheap." Esperanza nodded to the American and he grinned.

"Pleasure makin' the deal witcha. I'll be in m'tent down thar yonder crick, and ye just tell me when y'wanna go, and I'll git on ol' Boomstick and we'll hitch right up ther," the man said. He winked at Esperanza, sidling up to her. He was at least six inches shorter than her five foot seven, and he said, "Be a pleasure comin' witcha, ma'am." She shoved him backwards disdainfully, and the old man cackled on the ground.

"Shoooo-iiiieee! I love it when they fight back!" he shouted. Esperanza made a threatening step forwards, and he scrambled back with a 'whoa!'. He got up, dusted off, and started moseying back to his tent.

"That was... awfully quick," Lavi said. He looked at Esperanza with a snicker, and she rolled her eyes.

"Do not make me punish you," she stated, and Lavi laughed.

"Punish me? What could you possibly do?"

"Promise _senora Catenko _a date with you. Alone." Lavi's smile fell on the ground and shattered.

"Hey, hey, hey, no need to be hasty now, okay?"

* * *

><p>Lavi stumbled into the hotel and towards the stairs. He was dead tired. He'd been hit on by an old woman, he'd fallen into horse poop, he'd been hosed off under an arctic spigot, and he'd had to interview sixteen different guides to find one who'd be able to take them up a mountain. He was ready to drop. Just as he was about to head to his room, though, kids poured out of Esperanza's, all of them yelling excitedly at each other and tripping over one another to leave. He stared at them as they went, frowning, before he put a hand to the handle of his room -<p>

"Ah, not tonight, Lavi. At least, not yet," Esperanza said, tapping his shoulder. Her voice was mysterious, not giving away anything, and Lavi felt a spur of unease. What could she mean? There was no way she had more errands. What did she want him to do, sail up the river and go get her Inca gold from the mountains? Rub her feet and feed her grapes? Paint her toenails and have girl talk? His thoughts kept getting more and more ridiculous as she walked over to her room and opened the door.

"Uh, wait, Esperanza, there were a bunch of kids in your room. They might've stolen something or -" Lavi said, finally coming to his senses, but he noticed that Esperanza wasn't listening. She had a strange look on her face... She gestured for Lavi to come over, and he warily tread towards her room. She walked in, and he followed behind -

Into a room decorated with streamers, different colored candles, and wall hangings along with a banner that said, "FELIZ CUMPLEANOS A TI." Lavi entered the room in what seemed like awe. Little children's toys, like tops and dolls and figurines, were strewn across Esperanza's table and bed. A cake from the bakery sat on the table, decorated with bright colored icing. On it was the name 'LAVI' done in childish letters, no doubt by Esperanza herself while she'd been in the bakery and Lavi had been out. A small package rested on the table along with the cake, and Lavi stared at it all with wonder. He stepped in the room, standing the middle of it, as Esperanza stood at the doorway, watching him.

"How... did you even...?"

"Komui called me yesterday. He told me not to forget it was your birthday. The Order was sad that you could not celebrate with them. Komui said it seems you are always away when today rolls around." Lavi picked up a top, spinning it between his fingers, almost in shock. He realized that... that, honestly, no one had ever thrown a birthday party for him. Nobody in his life. Even when he'd been little, before he'd become an apprentice to Bookman, his birthday had not been acknowledged by anybody but himself and maybe... maybe...

He felt something wet slide down his face. Another wet thing slid down his face to follow it, building up at his chin. He felt his lip quiver, and he was sure why, but he sat on the bed, and he started to cry. Esperanza, completely taken aback, by this sudden outburst of raw emotion, ran over and sat next to him.

"Lavi, what's wrong? I'm so sorry, I didn't... I didn't mean to upset you. I thought that it would be nice, the kids wanted to help out, they... I didn't mean to bring back bad memories-"

"No."

Esperanza stopped at the vehement word. Lavi looked up at her with one sad green eye, and he smiled ephemerally. He said, "Thank you. I, uh... I've never... I've never had a birthday party. No one's... no one's ever thrown me a party." He chuckled, wiping away some of the tears on his face. Esperanza still looked slightly confused. Lavi looked at the top in his hand, and he said, "I guess it's a little overwhelming. I didn't know you cared that much." Esperanza's face softened, but she didn't smile.

"Everyone deserves a birthday party," she said quietly. She walked over to the table, grabbing forks, a knife, and plates.

"Come here. I'm sure you're hungry after all that today," she said, gesturing to the table. Lavi sniffled, wiped his nose on his sleeve, and walked over to the small table in the room. He sat down as she cut him a slice of the small cake, and he took a big bite out of it.

"How old are you now?" she asked, and Lavi said through a mouthful of cake, "Nineteen. I'm old." Esperanza gave a dark chuckle, and she said, "And I turn eighteen in the next few weeks. So sad, isn't it?" They ate the entire thing of cake, Lavi asking questions about Esperanza's family and her past birthdays, and Esperanza answering with humorous anecdotes and certain, sad pauses. He soon learned she had twelve younger siblings, three who'd died when a pandemic swept through her town, and two more who were not likely to make it through the next two weeks. One of them was having his birthday next week, and Esperanza wanted to buy him a present and give it to him personally.

"What are we sitting here talking of sad things? Open your present. Go on," she said, pushing the box towards him. Lavi stared at the brightly colored paper for a moment. A gift... he'd received so few gifts in his lifetime, and those gifts he'd been given... he'd been forced to give away. A Bookman had no ties or connections to the history he writes, including gifts... yet Lavi knew that this gift he would probably hide, squirrel away like a guilty pleasure until Bookman pried it out of his hands and chucked it when the time came to leave and die to yet another name. His fingers were patient as he picked apart the wrapping, and he opened the box to a beautiful metal flower carrying a glass inkpot and a set of magnificent ebony pens. A pocketwatch sat inside the box as well as a blotter, and he picked up one of the pens almost reverently.

"I saw you staring at them in the store," Esperanza said, sheepishly looking away. "I am sorry for the incident today. I ordered the children to distract you for a little while, and it came... late." Lavi laughed. Getting covered in crap was a small price to pay for a new set of pens like these.

"You'd have made a good Bookman, then. You notice things," Lavi said. Unlike himself. He should've figured out that she was acting odd this morning. He twirled the pen between his fingers, and if he'd been watching, he would've seen Esperanza give that little _sombra de la sonrisa. _Ghost of a smile. He put the pen back in its box, and he looked over at the scarred woman with her scary face, black wavy hair, and cool, but not chilly, demeanor. He got up, walked around the table, and gave her a hug around the shoulders. She stiffened at first, but she relaxed as she got used to it.

"That's it. You're cool in my book," Lavi said, and he felt her chuckle. She reached behind her and yanked on one of his earlobes twice, and then another one, and then the other.

"Ouch! Hey, what's that for?" he laughed as he let go of her. "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted."

"_Estupido, _don't you remember what I told you at _la fiesta de la hija de Dominguez? _It's for good luck, now stay still." She pulled on his ears nineteen times, and he yelped and protested, but allowed her to do it anyways.

"Now. Off to bed. Go, we wake up early tomorrow. We only need _los burros _and then we leave for the mountain. Say goodbye to comfort," she said sternly, and Lavi almost groaned. He dragged his feet towards his room, not wanting to leave the bright, cheerfulness that was an Argentinian birthday. He stumbled into his room and was pleasantly surprised to realize that it was cleaned, the sheets were changed, there was a new blanket on the bed (probably the same blanket he'd be taking with him up the moutain), and that the room carried the heavy scent of coarse soap and sun-warmed skin. Somehow, she'd cleaned his room out, too. He smiled and flopped in bed.

For once, his birthday was no longer a personal thing he just kept to himself. For some reason, this felt different to him. He'd never thought of what it would be like to have a party just for him, just because he existed, just because he'd been born. This... it was as if someone had reaffirmed that Lavi was an actual _person, _not just a ghost watching other people's lives and wishing that he himself could have one as well. He hugged his pillow, absolutely exhausted and absolutely pleased as punch, falling asleep to the sound of grasshoppers singing in the Argentinian night air with the moon shining and the smell of soap in his nose.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I delivered as promised. I meant to write a birthday special, aaaand I did. It is remaining unedited (because I am exceptionally lazy at the moment and am very glad to have this thing finally finished - not to say I didn't enjoy writing it, I did) as of right now unless I decide, at a later date, to actually go ahead and go over the little grammar nicks and such. Do tell me how I did and drop me a line (I always enjoy that, even if they're flamers), I'm always up for feedback, and I hope you readers stay safe out there on the great wide Interwebz.

-Dr. Yok


	6. Lo Unico Que Temer

"You know, despite the fact that you humans tend to be cruel and unreservedly harsh to one another, you are absolutely _horrible _at attempting to kill one another," Lulu said in a slightly peeved voice. It was the first time that Dominguez had ever heard the woman anything less than pleasantly cool, and frankly it unnerved him as well as relieved him. He at least knew she was capable of emotion, but he'd rather not have that emotion turn out to be annoyance. The platoon of men that Dominguez had sent to kill the two clergyman were standing in front of Lulu at present, sweating under the early morning sunshine and wondering what this woman was prattling on about as she was speaking English. She turned her head in their direction, and her stare caused them to wither and feel faint. She was an incredibly beautiful woman... but beautiful in that way that should not be admired up close. She was beautiful in the way of blossoming, poisonous flowers or the explosion of a volcano. It was destructive as well as aesthetic.

Suddenly, several of their own men morphed before their eyes into the monsters they'd worked with when they'd been dispatched to take care of two pesky working people near the river where they'd been sent to confiscate dead cattle. The men shouted and broke their sloppy formation as the Akuma rounded them up, staring down at them with eyes shielded and guarded by masks made of dark-plated metal. Lulu sighed to herself and said, _"Es una lastima. Si solo lo habian hecho bien el primero vez." _Dominguez's eyes widened as he realized what she planned. _It's a shame. If only they'd done it right the first time. _Dominguez was a drug lord and a monopolizer, but he cared about his men.

"Senora, please. They were fooled. Those clergyman are crafty sorts," he said hastily in English, and Lulu looked at him out of the corner of her eye. Those gold disks seemed to be just as cold as the real thing, and he felt his skin dry up under her gaze despite the sun. She thought for a moment... and then she said, "Very well."

Dominguez sighed with relief, though he was sure to make it discreet. Lulu had somehow found out that both of the church members were still alive and somewhere around Rio Seco, though how she was sure, he didn't know. He himself had never seen either of them, and he'd sent his men after two people who would either be wearing a black-and-white uniform with an emblem on it, or a woman with black hair and three scars across her face and her companion. The men had said that they'd drowned, but their bodies couldn't be found and had probably been dragged downstream by the current. It was apparent they had lived and kept hidden for the past few days.

Lulu addressed the frightened, milling men. _"Silencio! Estoy yendo hacer a tú un oferta. Permitá a tu intentar una vez más. No desilusionar. Si ellos todavia estan respirando en el mes que viene, vosotros estaró muertos." _The men stood still as statues, staring at the woman who'd spoken. _I am going to make you an offer. I will allow you to try once again. Do not disappoint me. If they are still breathing in the month to come, you will be killed._ The men all stood there, all young and hopeful and reckless and knowing that this woman very much meant what she said. Dominguez watched as a hush fell over them, and he swallowed.

"_Por que estais esperas? Vaya!" _The men scattered at the command to go, all of them grabbing guns and whatnot. They had all of a month to track those two down and kill them. Otherwise, their own lives were forfeit. Dominguez watched them go with bitterness, hoping that they learned from this encounter.

"All things are a chasing after the wind," Dominguez said as the men dispersed out into the countryside, shouting to one another. The Akuma only stared, waiting for their lady's command.

"Why do you say that?" Lulu asked, and Dominguez said, "Because no matter what, their lives are forfeit. I hope they realize just how useless their struggling in this world is. It does no good." He stared at Lulu and asked, "Am I right, _Senora_?" Lulu smiled.

"You Argentinians are wise," she stated.

* * *

><p>The day was already hot and dry. There were no clouds in the sky, and the scrubland looked deader than ever. A single, lone tumbleweed of the usual stock rolled past Lavi's foot, and he picked it up idly, staring at it with blatant curiosity.<p>

"I honestly didn't think these things actually existed," he said, dropping it and kicking it along its merry way. He looked over his shoulder to Esperanza. She was saddling up both of their horses, the donkeys, and the one mule that Darrin, their very American and very stubborn guide, had stated would come with them whether or not they liked it. Esperanza hadn't been too happy about it, considering she'd had to buy extra feed just in case the grazing on the mountain was sparse, but she'd allowed him to take it anyways. Lavi himself knew nothing of traveling up Andean mountains, and he'd decided that he'd just go along with Esperanza and Darrin decided. After all, they knew what they were doing, right?

"I warn you, _senor, _I have no idea what I am doing with this mountain journey," Esperanza grunted as she pulled her saddle's strap under her horse and pulled up on it through the buckle. Lavi's face fell. That was oddly too appropriate a time for her to say that. He stared at her and asked, "And what brought that on?" She loaded another saddlebag on to _Relampago's _rump, and she said without looking at him, "You have been investing in my knowledge all this time. I apologize if I led you to believe that I actually know about mountain travel. I have never been very far up the mountain and never for long. I am going on past experiences." Lavi winced. In that case, he was probably better suited at this sort of traversing. He'd helped Bookman cart thirty-something crates of books up a Himalayan mountain to a temple. Then again, this was Argentina - mountains tended to change from country to country.

"Eh, that's fine. As long as you've got an idea, I'm perfectly okay with it," Lavi said. Eh, okay, that was a bit of a fib. He was a _little _apprehensive now about going up the mountain with no experience except for the word of an Argentinian girl and an old American fogey. He sat down on an unloaded crate, and he looked out towards the mountains again. Up there somewhere was the key to all the issues that plagued them. The death-dealing water, the sick cows, the Akuma, all of that would disappear if they could figure out what was going on at the source of the river. He sighed to himself as Esperanza bustled back and forth, carrying crates of food and supplies. He got up and decided to be useful. As much as he hated work, at least he'd be doing something productive.

"Hey, Esperanza, need a hand...?"

He regretted this action several hours later while riding on the back of a horse, sweating to death under a noontime sun and weary beyond belief. He hadn't realized just how heavy a few weeks of food could be. It had taken them nearly an hour and a half to get the food packed, the tents and supplies sufficiently stowed, and the crates loaded onto the backs of the donkeys. Lavi immediately disliked the animals, given their stubborn natures and their braying behavior, but resigned to working with them seeing as there wasn't much they could do otherwise. However, this mentality immediately took a u-turn after they reached Darrin's camp at the creek.

"Can't take donkeys up the mountain," Darrin said simply as he cleaned out his pot of gruel. Esperanza's face turned blank as she asked, "_Que?_" Darrin spit into the dirt, and he said, "Told ya. Can't take donkeys. Too stubborn and they ain't gon' survive that far up the mountain." He pointed to the peak of the mountain they'd be traversing, and Lavi said, "Wait, so you're telling me we just paid for donkeys...and we don't need them?" Darrin cackled.

"Didn't say you ain't gonna need 'em. I'm just sayin', donkeys're too much hassle. Easier to go with llamas. They know what they're doin' up there, but it'll be a ways a'fore you get to anyone with llamas. They don't come down here," Darrin said. "We'll take 'em as far as a llama ranch I know, and then we'll drop 'em off there." Lavi and Esperanza looked at each other. It seemed they may end up paying for their cheapness. They had discussed taking llamas instead, but the transportation issue of getting to them in the first place had stopped them from attempting.

"They owe me a favor anyways," Darrin said, grinning. Three of his teeth were missing, and a fourth was a rotting stump. Lavi tried hard to smile back as he walked over to his mule, patting its rump.

"And your mule? Will it survive?" Lavi asked, and Darrin said, "Shew boy, you bet yer bottom dollar she will. This mule's been up mountains longer 'n you've been born, young'n." With this bizarre change of plan, they started off with a few donkeys, two horses, and a mule. The donkeys went off at a lumbersome lope, while the horses yearned for a faster pace, and the mule tottered behind the entire entourage.

"Okay, so first we head off to get llamas, and then...?" Lavi asked, turning to Esperanza. The Argentinian shrugged, and she stated, "I have one thing to do before we get to the mountain. My family lives near the foothills, and I wish to meet them. It is not often I am in the position to stop and say hello." Lavi nodded.

"And then up the mountain, right?" Esperanza lifted both eyebrows at Lavi, and she nodded.

"And then up the mountain."

"Uh, Seen-yoreeta 'n Seen-yor, I think it'd be best if ya looked back here fer a minute," Darrin said in a worried tone, pointing back over his shoulder. The caravan drew to a stop in the desert dirt, looking back in curiosity to a rising dust cloud.

"I don't think its sandstorm season yet," Lavi stated. He squinted, staring, and his eyes widened as he suddenly spurred his horse on.

"_Senor_!" Esperanza shouted as she spurred _Relampago _after him, and Darrin started whipping the donkeys to go faster in order to keep up. They brayed at the abuse, but nevertheless heightened their pace in order to catch up.

Esperanza finally rode level with Lavi and asked him, "What is it? What's going on?" Her voice was nearly drowned out by the pounding of hooves on hard-packed dirt, and Lavi shouted back, "There are men in that dust cloud! There must be fifty or more! They're _coming after us!"_ Esperanza's eyes widened, and she urged her horse on. She looked behind her and shouted to Darrin, "_Senor_ Darrin, turn back now! Head off in a different direction! We are being followed!"

Darrin shouted back, "No shit, Sherlock, I know that now!" The little old man suddenly grabbed the shot gun off the back of his mule and aimed it behind him. He leveled it to shoot at the nearest speck, but his hat suddenly flew off his head as he shouted 'WHOA!' Lavi ducked as he heard more bullets, and he realized that Akuma would be in the attack party as well. There was nothing but open desert in front of them, perfect for picking off two Exorcists and their old companion. Lavi activated his hammer and turned around.

"I'll hold them off! Get to the mountain and the source!" Lavi shouted. He was well-aware he was outnumbered, but it wasn't like it hadn't happened before. However, Lavi had underestimated Esperanza's resourcefulness as she turned back around with a bottle of lamp oil. He stared at her in confusion, but followed her as she started to douse the dirt with the flammable liquid. Lavi suddenly got the idea, and he shouted, "Stand back! Get the donkeys out of here!" She wanted to make a big bang. Lavi bet he could make a bigger one than she bargained for.

Esperanza followed his orders as he dismounted and shooed off _Chuleta. _The horse nickered as he was led away by Esperanza, the caravan of donkeys and horses now at least a good sixty feet away. Lavi stood ten feet from the line of kerosene, and Lavi thought of how pitifully tiny a barrier that made between them and the fifty or so men headed in their direction. Lavi finally decided to get it over with, and the redhead summoned his seals.

_"Hi Ban: Goka Kaijin!"_ A massive pillar of flame suddenly roared as he smashed his hammer into the seal and slammed the seal into the ground. The inferno swept across the quick-catching kerosene, and the air was suddenly filled with foul smoke and heat. The men on their horses fought to stop as they headed towards the wall of fire, and Lavi stood there as he watched them head towards their demise. Lavi had never intended to use his Innocence to harm human life, but it seemed now he had no choice. Several Akuma revealed themselves as they surged towards the flames, and he knew he was going to need a bit more than this temporary defense. Several of the men fell off their horses as Esperanza shot at them, hitting them in the legs and arms. She was a good shot... The men flew past Lavi, none of them attempting a hit

_"Konbo Ban: Gouraiten,"_ he said quietly. He stared at the men, all suddenly retreating, and the Akuma that were relentlessly heading towards the trio. Lavi swiftly used both Fire and Heaven seals, and a colossal snake of iron and fire erupted from the ground like a serpent from hell. It ran the length of the makeshift battlefield, and those few men who were desperate enough to risk the flames turned back in fear. The snake spit and hissed as it headed towards the Level Three Akuma, and the battle began.

_Like so many other battles, there was always some sort of collateral damage_. _Faces flashing past, all the people who'd died in those wars, the ones he'd let die, the ones that could've been saved, the ones that were only so much ink on so much paper -_

"Senor, we must go," Esperanza said to Darrin, and the old man nodded as he watched the destruction of several monsters going down in flames, Lavi calmly standing in front of it without a single scratch.

"Yeah. Let's go. He can take care o' himself," Darrin stated, spurring on his old mule.

Thirty minutes later, the ground was scarred with scorch marks and even glass skids where fire had burned so hot it had metamorphosed the sand. Lavi walked towards both Esperanza and Darrin, mounting his horse and looking out towards the mountains.

"We should leave," Lavi said quietly. Neither said a word as the caravan once more began to move. Esperanza stared at her partner with blatant questions writ on her face, but she dared not ask anything. Even she knew that the man had limits, and it seemed that he'd reached one with this last battle. He was deep in thought, and she wondered what was going on his head. That same look... The night they had shared their scars, their _cicatrices, _she had seen that same look, the one that said he was lost in his own head, wandering somewhere she could not see.

"We will be there in the next thirty minutes," she stated, and Lavi nodded without a word.

* * *

><p>The house was an old farm type nestled in foothills of amber and emerald. A white fence encircled the entire premise, and the sun was beginning to set, leaving a gold layer over the house and its cheerful colors. Chickens pecked at the ground in front of the house, and several toys littered the yard. It was a quaint place removed from the urban society only an hour and a half away. Small, tea colored faces pressed up to the windows in anticipation as they watched a caravan approach. Donkeys, horses, and a single mule entered the sanctuary of the fields around the house, and an old man stepped out the door, a grand smile on his face.<p>

Esperanza dismounted _Relampago _and, for the first time since Lavi had met her, smiled wide as she walked towards the house. Several children ran out of the house, and Lavi watched as Esperanza rejoined her family. She held several of the smaller ones out at arms length, and Lavi felt suddenly very distant from that scene of happy rejoicing and reunion. He climbed off his horse and watched for several minutes as Esperanza was swamped with the multitudes of relatives. He wanted to smile at it, but he found he was drained of all feeling.

_Another family reunited, and he couldn't participate. The man ran to his wife crying, and he lifted her up as Esperanza was lifting up a small boy, spinning him around and around and around. Family was not something he understood. It was a bond he had never quite made. Not something he could make, not without a guilty conscience. He would leave them one day, and leave them heartbroken. He would-_

"_Quien eres? Eres de Europe?" _a small voice said beside him, and Lavi stared into the liquid eyes of a small boy with black, messy hair and gap-teeth. He found himself speechless for a moment, but the little boy was much quicker than the redhead. He grabbed his hand and started to drag the man, running, and shouted, _"Esperanza! Esperanza! Es mi hermano? Esperanza! Esperanza!"_ Lavi found himself in the middle of the proceeding as in the distance he heard Darrin cackle. Lavi was dumbfounded as the children bombarded him with questions, the older boys looking him up and down as if assessing him while the old man asked something of Esperanza with a mischievous look in his eye.

_"No, no, no, no es tu hermano, Nacio, es mi amigo. Ahora, te necesito tocar mis caballos," _Esperanza ordered, sending the little boy scampering towards the horses. The other children followed, whining about how they didn't get to take care of the horses, and Esperanza gave that small ghost of a smile as she watched them. The older boys, in their early teens, shook their heads as they headed inside the house. Esperanza nodded towards the house and said, "_Amigo, _this is where I live, sometimes. It is run down and old, but it is home. Come inside, have something to eat and drink. _Mi papa _is very interested in meeting you." Everything was happening so fast, Lavi could only put himself on autopilot as he was led inside the house and handed a plate with some saffron rice and a few simple _burritos _along with a glass of water. He gave a suspicious glance to the water, but Esperanza said, "It is safe. We do not drink from the main river. The family gets their water from a small lake lower down the mountain. It has a creek that runs near here." Lavi at the food with gusto, amazed at just how ravenous he was.

Soon, other small children ran into the house, excitedly chattering with one another. Lavi counted them all, with their dark hair and dark eyes, all white smiles and bare feet. Their clothes were frayed, but in good condition. They looked healthy, and they were very interested in Lavi himself. They asked him questions in Spanish, and he answered the best that he could. He even wrestled with the boys on the floor for a bit, and Lavi began to feel like himself again-

_But what was himself? Was this who he was, or was Lavi a person at all?_

He paused at a crucial moment, allowing the boys to overtake him in a tackling tumble, and Esperanza finally shooed them off. Lavi sat up, rubbing his arm as he suddenly felt a chill pass over him. There was just... something wrong with all this. Lavi suddenly felt as if he should not be here at all. He looked up, searching for Esperanza only to find her disappearing through a door_._ Lavi stood up and followed her quietly, the sound of children playing in the background as his steps seemed to echo through the now-empty house. He peered inside, finding Esperanza sitting between two twin beds. She was talking quietly to two pale, sickly looking children, no older than twelve. Lavi realized that these were the two that had come down with the flu. They looked very much like Esperanza with the same high cheek bones, rounded chin, and wide eyes. She was whispering to them both, holding their hands.

A hand fell on his shoulder, and he nearly jumped. He looked over his shoulder. Esperanza's father, he presumed at least, motioned for him to follow him, and he did. They stood outside in the light of the sinking sun, and the old man said in a dignified tone, "You work with Esperanza, yes?" His English was heavily accented, but still understandable. Lavi nodded. He'd hardly spoken this entire time, only to answer the children and play with them.

"Good. Much good. But, uh... you protect, yes? Protect Esperanza?" he asked, and Lavi suddenly realized where this was going.

_"Si. Hago." _The old man slumped with relief, and he said, "Much worry. I much worry of Esperanza. She... she hurt much all time. She is... is... word is _independiente. _Not like help. Not like protect." Lavi frowned, and he asked, "Why are you telling me this?" The old man struggled to translate, and he said, "I tell of warn. _Tienes cuidado. _She hurt Esperanza _y _she hurt you _tambien. _Not good. _No bueno._ I no want hurt of you or Esperanza." Lavi tried to piece everything together. He was being warned... Esperanza was very independent and didn't like help. He'd already seen that once or twice, but he didn't think that it was debilitating just yet. She seemed pretty good about not letting pride be an issue.

"Oh! And Esperanza... she is not like... not like _relampago,_" the old man said, waving a finger in front of Lavi's nose. Lavi backed up, confused.

"She doesn't like her horse? I don't know, she's pretty loving towards him," Lavi stated, and the old man froze. He suddenly shook his head and stated in frustration, _"No el caballo, el relampago y truenos, mentecato!"_ Before Lavi could even bother with translating, Esperanza walked towards him and shouted, "_Amigo! _We are leaving soon! We only stopped to water the horses and donkeys. Darrin said that the llama ranch is only a few miles from here, and it will not take us long to switch." Lavi walked off, deciding to get a jump on things, but the old man tried to follow him. Esperanza intercepted him and said, _"Papi, you need to leave the ranch. I am afraid that you may be hurt by things that are after us." _The two had a short argument while Lavi and Darrin got the horses ready, and she came back not long after with a concerned look.

"My family should be moving to my Uncle Ortega's. We will continue on," she said, looking to the horizon behind them. She could see specks, and she stated, "That is not good. We will need to hurry. I did not think we would evade them for very long." Lavi saw that this indeed was true. Akuma were a long way off, but still near enough to cause a bit of discomfort. He hoped that the Castillo family had fast horses.

"I bet I can do something to shield them for a while," Lavi said, looking towards Esperanza and Darrin. The old man shrugged and said, "I'll get us started towards that ol' llama ranch. Meetcha there. Y'know the way, right?" Lavi nodded.

"I shouldn't take long anyhow," he stated, and the two began riding off. Lavi cracked his fingers as he watched the children suddenly begin bustling and packing their belongings. He walked to the very edge of the Castillo property and whipped out his hammer.

"All rightie, then, let's see what old Lavi can remember, huh?" he muttered. He used a Heaven seal, and suddenly clouds began to suffuse the air above. Lavi watched for several moments, and then drops of rain fell on his face. He smiled at his handiwork. Not bad. Not bad at all. He began to follow Esperanza and Darrin, not realizing what damage he had just done.

* * *

><p>Esperanza heard a crack of lightning, and her shoulders suddenly tensed. A drop of rain smacked her on the nose, and Darrin looked up.<p>

"Shoot, that feller was pretty darn smart. He kin do all sorts a' stuff. I want wanna them hammers, dagnabbit!" Darrin complained, urging on his mule. He dug around in his saddlebag for a rain poncho, throwing it over his head as he rode towards the farm not more than twenty minutes away. Esperanza looked over her shoulder, spying Lavi at the crest of a sparsely grassed hill. She swallowed as a peal of thunder broke out, and she turned her horse to face Lavi. She didn't know that he had the power to create a thunderstorm. That was a very, very unique thing. Along with fire snakes and iron snakes and all sorts of other things. Suddenly, Esperanza felt a bit outclassed.

She gripped her Innocence in her hand, and she sighed. It would take a while for her _amigo _to catch up, but catch up they would. The sun had already set, and the storm was not yet roaring at full pace. Could he control its intensity in its duration as well? Lavi sidled up to the Argentinian teenager, and he said, "All set. We should have gale force winds and sheets of rain in the next three hours. We'll probably need to hike up as far as we can before the rain starts, so I'll probably scout ahead for a camping spot. How does that sound?" Esperanza sighed, and stated, "That sounds... feasible. I believe Darrin is envious of your Innocence. He very much wants to have that magic hammer of yours." Lavi shrugged modestly.

"It's only for once-in-a-blue-moon occasions I'll try a storm," Lavi stated, staring at the darkening sky. He smiled, relishing the fact that he'd actually created this force of nature with the help of his Seals. Esperanza noted the mood shift, and she asked, "You are feeling better, _si?_" Lavi looked back at her, and he nodded.

"Yeah. I was, uh... I was having some issues. I don't like having to kill people," Lavi stated. Esperanza shrugged.

"It was you or them, _amigo. _It was you or them. That is how life is out in the desert," she sighed. Darrin came back very fast with newly loaded llamas. Their soft facial features and fluffy bodies made them look completely docile and deceptively weak. No wonder they were used as pack animals.

"You sure these things will survive up the mountain?" Lavi asked skeptically. Darrin laughed.

"Yer a funny one. Course they will! They been bred to live up in them mountains since them Inca lived up there with 'em! Then again, they outlived the Inca by a good hunnerd years or so." They lit storm lanterns, readying themselves for the ensuing trek.

"Is there a path to the source of the _Rio Seco?_" Esperanza asked, and Darrin gave a contemplative noise. He scratched his ever-present stubble, and he said, "Y'know, I think there is. It's an old road built by them Incans, but it's overgrown and ain't nobody used it since Adam got up outta the dirt. We kin follow that for a ways a'fore we get to the actual river itself." He pointed up the mountain, the massive thing looming over them, and said, "I think the source is in some ruins waaaaaay up there. Ain't no snow up there right now, it's all melted 'cept for the tippy-top, but it sure gets mighty chilly. Hope ye don't mind sleeping with a geezer like me if ye fergot yer sleepin' pouch." He cackled as they entered the dark beginning of the mountain.

Lavi scouted ahead for nearly two hours before deciding they'd better stop for the night. It was misting already, and down the mountain near the house Esperanza's family lived in, it was already dumping sheets of gray rain. They were already sore from riding, and they made camp on a large slab of rock covered in the thinnest of dirt and grass. Cacti grew, but not much else, and the horses found it hard to eat their fill.

"Don't worry, _Chuleta. _You'll get some grass once we get to the tree line," Lavi said, looking far above. The tree line was another day's trek away. He almost groaned at the thought.

The camp was set up simply, with Darrin sleeping in his own tent with his mule, _Churro_, while Lavi and Esperanza would share a tent divided by a sheet in the middle. Esperanza had said tents, especially ones with good sticks, were hard to find, and that she was only going to get one for the both of them. Lavi hadn't complained. There was a cook fire ten paces from the front of the tent, and a small stream bubbled and gurgled three hundred feet away into the underbrush. Lavi soon found it to be incredibly cold, inhospitable given the open environment, and infested with fish that liked to bite his toes. Esperanza didn't find it much better.

They soon decided to get some shut-eye for the night, and as they were retreating to their tents, the raining began in earnest. Tomorrow was going to be very, very wet.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Yet another chapter, yet another day in the life of Exorcists. For those who do not know any of the Spanish, I encourage you to go ahead and try to translate it using a translator. I think you will find most of the names and some of the phrases very interesting. (;

Thanks again to St. Iggy for reviewing on the birthday special!

Remember, reviews are like candy to me! I greatly appreciate them!


	7. Thunderstorm

Lavi was always amazed at how much he took being dry for granted. He'd had plenty of opportunities to walk around in sodden clothes when he was younger, and he was sure that this would not be the last time he'd end up with this problem. Even if he wasn't sopping wet, he was still pretty damp, and that was uncomfortable in its own right.

He turned over again, trying to get comfortable in his bedroll. He tried not to accidentally roll over into Esperanza's side of the tent, which was behind a sheet that split the tent into two halves. He listened quietly to the soft whisper of rain over his head, and he realized that perhaps this wasn't the boon he'd thought it would be. Behind the sheet, he heard Esperanza mumble in her sleep and move. He wasn't the only restless one, it seemed, but that lucky Argentinian at least got a little bit of shut-eye. He sighed as he stared at the ceiling of the tent.

His mind seemed to whirl around in a tornado of thoughts. So many things to think of at the moment... As much as Lavi wanted to throw away all the thoughts in his head, he couldn't do anything to stop them from entering and leaving of their own will. Thoughts and worries for Bookman, fond memories for Allen and Kanda (to an extent - some of those fond memories were actually kinda painful), brotherly affection for Lenalee, confusion about his own predicament. Love... He loved those people he worked with, all of them. Komui and Lenalee, the first two people he'd first begun to feel for. Finders, both living and dead, who were the first people he'd begun to appreciate. Allen, the first one he'd felt angry at for making such extravagant sacrifices for those he loved when those sacrifices weren't necessary at all. Even Kanda, the first person he'd begun to annoy in earnest and starting, in a strange sort of way, a vitriolic friendship. And then Esperanza... one of the first people he'd had trouble working out. He couldn't hardly ever make heads nor tails of her, and it was sort of fun that way. It kept him on his toes.

But years of training still lingered like a bad habit, and a phrase came back to him.

_Love is not a victory march. It is cold and heartless despite its warmth, and it will break you when you least expect it. _

He sat up, hugging his knees. This wasn't working. What was he doing anymore? The mask he wore was now his face, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to assume that. One day, that would change, and the mask would have to come off, replaced by another one. This personality he'd held on to for so long... That was all it was - a personality, something to use for a while before discarding. The closer he clung to this concept, the harder it would be to pry his fingers away from it when it was time to let go. He'd been on so many missions with Lenalee, Allen, Kanda, and other Finders that he could banter with that he'd never noticed-

He'd never noticed because of the people he'd been around. He frowned, thinking about Bookman's conditions for this mission.

It was one of Lavi's very few solo missions where he was paired up with someone he didn't know. The lack of a Finder was definitely odd, and the fact that he knew nothing of Esperanza suddenly screamed suspicion, but he quickly shooed the idea out of his mind. He couldn't start becoming paranoid. It was wrong of him to assume that Esperanza just _might, _only _might, _be deliberately in a gambit of Bookman's to make Lavi realize that he was becoming much too attached. Perhaps that was the reason why his memories were creeping out of their prisons, edging in on tiptoe feet around his brain, attacking him while his back was turned for too long.

The tight control he had had was now lost because of his affection for Lavi, the concept. He had mistaken Lavi for himself. The redhead rubbed his face in a tiresome fashion.

"What do I do?" he moaned quietly, rubbing his one good eye. He looked over to the other side of the tent, nothing more than a white sheet that served as a partition, though 18th century conduct was a more effective wall than this one bed sheet. On the other side of the sheet was a woman that Lavi might actually be friends with, and very suddenly he realized that he'd better start distancing himself as far from her as he could before it was too late. He already had too many friends that he'd connected to - he didn't want to hurt anyone else. Yet, at the same time, as he thought about her... he realized he would miss many things about Esperanza if he made it clear that, for them, any sort of emotional contact was not an option.

He looked outside of the tent, through the smallest of openings at the end where he could see rain. The sheet ended a mere half-foot from the entrance of the tent, and past the make-shift partition was a tea-colored, calloused set of toes. He smiled slightly but stopped himself, realizing what he was doing. _Fondness - _it was practically a pariah in the life of one whose only goal was to document unbiased. He decided to concentrate on the sound of rain. It had been pouring for the last hour or so, seeing as the clouds here weren't heavy enough yet for the thunder and lightning that went with low pressure storms. Still, it wouldn't be long before -

_KRRRRRRRRCKKKKKKKBOOOOOOOM. _

A roll of thunder pealed like a massive, colossal bell of nature, ringing throughout the night, and effectively waking up Esperanza. She tangled in her sheets, and Lavi watched as she bumped into the sheet and walls of the tent in a disoriented fashion.

"Esperanza... Esperanza! Easy, easy, it's only thun-"

_BOOOOOOOOOOOM._

Another sheet of sound raced over the sky and through the air. Esperanza had finally managed to realize that she was not in danger, and she sat down with a 'whump'. Lavi heard her panting and gasping for air, and he frowned. He'd never seen (or, rather, heard) her this emotionally uncontrolled. She always seemed so calm, together, and unfazed, but now she was -

scared. She was scared of storms. Lavi blinked at this revelation. Esperanza had stopped moving, though her breathing was a bit more controlled, and she sounded as if she were on the far side of the tent, as far as she could make herself. Lavi wondered if he should check on her, just to be sure she was all right and didn't suffer a heart attack or something. Another flash of lightning, though without the sound, threw shadows on the tent, and Esperanza whimpered, a high-pitched, frightened noise. Even so, Lavi could tell she was trying to keep quiet with it. She must've thought he was still asleep, and he swallowed. He could ignore her, pretend to be asleep, and listen to her whisper her Spanish prayers... or he could... he could...

What could he do?

He drew back the curtain just as a stroke of lightning painted the sky in swathes of black and white, his shadow cast in a blurry outline as he looked into Esperanza's side of the tent. She was underneath a blanket, trying as hard as she could to block out the storm with what she had on hand. It was obvious she had dealt with this before, but Lavi wasn't sure if she'd ever been this close to a storm, with only an oilskin tent separating her and the vicious weather. Another roll of thunder caressed the night air, and Lavi saw her shrink into her little zone of comfort, however small it was. It was pitiful and pathetic. Of all the things to be scared of, it was the one thing that she couldn't control. Perhaps that was the reason whyshe was afraid of it.

"Esperanza?" Lavi asked, and the woman raised her head slightly.

"_Senor, estoy bien. _Go back to sleep," she said quietly, her voice steady as a rock. She was trying desperately to hide her fear. She had addressed him as _senor,_ as formally as she could in order to give him a subtle 'buzz off'. Lavi frowned, and he slowly crawled into her side of the tent. She watched him with a wary eye, a cat trapped in a corner with nowhere to go as an unfamiliar person approached.

"_Senor, _I do not need your he-"

Another crack of thunder, and she suppressed a whimper with a tremulous breath. He frowned. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep if this kept up. He came closer to her, and he touched her shoulder.

"Esperanza-"

"I told you. I do not need your help, and I do not want it either. Leave me be. I can deal with this on my own. You do not need to comfort me like a small child," she said bitingly, and Lavi realized that, for once, her independence and pride were clouding her judgment. She wanted so badly to stand her own ground that she was refusing help. He drew back his hand, vacillating his decision to help. He wouldn't know how to help anyways... Another lance of lightning struck, and the thunder cracked like a great, celestial tree falling down somewhere in the heavens. Esperanza tucked herself in tighter, and Lavi knew he couldn't leave her like this. She was going to get help whether she liked it or not.

Lavi started to drag his own things from his side of the tent, and he began to build a fort around Esperanza's huddled form. He remembered when he was younger

_so scared was he of the storm he'd hid under his covers, not daring to wake Bookman up for fear that he would be punished for his foolish fear of what was only electricity and the ensuing sound it made in the sky above. And still, he shivered, clenching both eyes shut and trying to recite those things that a Bookman must learn. Still, he whimpered and came close to tears when suddenly a massive clash of thunder sent him scrambling for the floor. He rushed to Bookman, explaining that he was afraid and knew he shouldn't be but couldn't even get past this irrationality, and so Bookman, in an odd show of parental affection (or was it practicality?) had built a fort of pillows next to his bed, covering it with a blanket and hiding there with him until finally_

Lavi pushed away the memory. It had its uses, but he remembered the fear too clearly, the attachment he felt for Bookman at the time, the feelings and personal thoughts racing through his head instead of the cleansed, sanitary thoughts only meant for documentation. He draped his own blanket over the top of the fort, and Esperanza finally looked up to see what he was doing. The 'fort' was big enough for perhaps two people, if they were a small two people and didn't mind being cozy. She uncurled from her ball, staring with perplexity at the fort. Lavi stuck his head inside, smiled, and asked, "Better?"

Another flash of lightning lit up the tent, and Esperanza jerked towards the back of the fort. The thunder followed soon after, and Esperanza blinked in surprise to find that the sound was now muffled, just enough that the panic she usually felt was subdued to a low tremble of unease. She swallowed and nodded. She couldn't possible sleep in there, though, not curled up like she had been, and Lavi wondered how he'd fix this predicament. The rain and wind shoved the tent violently, and Esperanza drew her knees to her chest as she sat up, watching as their shelter pitched and leaned. Lavi himself realized he had no place to sleep, as that side of the tent was nearly pushed all the way to the ground with no room for himself or any of this things.

He sighed. This was going to be a difficult night, apparently. Esperanza crawled out of the fort experimentally, and she peered around to the other side of the tent. Noticing the problem, she gestured to the inside of the fort with a hesitant hand, and Lavi gave a half-smile.

"You sure? You didn't want_ my_ help," Lavi noted smugly, and Esperanza sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"_Lo siento, amigo. _I was... frightened. I am not usually this-"

"Yeah, I know, I know," he said, shrugging, "not usually this scared. It's alright. I'm used to people being afraid."

_Like when they're screaming and running as bombs ring out in the night and_

Lavi realized that it was happening again, that leaking of memories into this name and life. He quashed them, that fateful night in Moscow when unknown adversaries pitched Molotovs and shrieked their displeasure to the city. He rubbed his temples briefly, and Esperanza stared at him for a while. Another groan of thunder sent her scurrying back into the fort and breaking Lavi's sudden effort to seal away the memories. Esperanza's breathing was faster now, but not the hyperventilation that she'd suffered at the beginning of the onslaught. Lavi crawled into the fort, hoping that some way this little safe place he'd made for Esperanza might also end up psychologically being a safe place for his mind. It was warm and close (Lavi hadn't had much to work with), and they spent an hour in silence staring out of it, watching water condense in the confines of their tent.

Finally, Lavi began nodding off, and Esperanza had already begun to snore softly and mumble. Blearily, his eyelid drooped, and he decided it wasn't worth fighting sleep. After all, he'd built this thing in order for Esperanza, and by extension himself, to sleep. He took Esperanza's legs and gently stretched them out beyond the confines of the fort, knowing that she'd wake up sore and grumpy in the morning if she got cramps in her legs from sleeping in that position. He himself put his legs out, and he tried to get comfortable. It was so small, though, that there wasn't any way they'd both fit unless he managed to stick his feet out in the rain...

He sighed. Drastic measures were going to have to be taken.

* * *

><p>The sound of whinnying horses and the snort of llamas woke Lavi up. It was still dark, and he figured he'd only been asleep a few hours. Esperanza was curled up against him, face scrunched up as a dream held her in its clutches. He'd had to maneuver her almost on top of himself to fit comfortably, and she apparently wasn't complaining because she hadn't been awake for it. In fact, this arrangement was comfy enough to sleep through, and he wondered what exactly had been loud enough to wake him up-<p>

A massive flash of lightning split the sky outside, and the silhouette of a tall, lanky humanoid was cast against the tent. Lavi's eye widened as he held as still as possible. He didn't even dare to breath. The head turned, and Lavi made out the shape of a helmet. It was a Level Three Akuma that was _less than five feet away from them. _Lavi swallowed, and he reached for his hammer. With it in hand, he quietly began waking Esperanza. She blearily looked at him with a look of confusion before eying the silhouette with blatant recognition. Before she could say anything, he freed his other arm and made the 'sh' motion. He pointed to the entrance of the tent and held up his hammer. Esperanza nodded, but a flash of thunder sent a spark of fear across her face like the ember of a popping fire.

_"You have to try,"_ Lavi mouthed, and Esperanza swallowed audibly. Lavi got up slowly, careful not to make any noise. Another lightning strike showed the shadow of another Level Three not far from the first. Lavi crept towards the entrance of the tent, quietly stepping into the pouring rain. Esperanza was right behind him, her crucifix in the shape of a very small sword. Just as he was about to launch an attack, another roll of thunder sounded overhead, and Esperanza gave a small gasp and backed up into one of the stakes of the tent. The tent shook and swayed, and the two Level Threes stared at them with hidden eyes that glared.

"RUN!" Lavi shouted, sprinting across the open space as lightning and thunder continued to flash around them. The wind blew his hair in his face, and his clothes stuck to his skin as he dodged syringes full of who-knew-what and bullets. Suddenly, he slipped, going down, and he barely managed to block a fist headed towards his ribcage. He extended the handle of his hammer, and he swung it at the Akuma, but it was fast and it dodged. Another lightning strike hit the ground somewhere far off, and Esperanza let out a surprised shout. It was enough of a distraction that Lavi was given a good, solid hit to the head.

He flew a good thirty feet, skidding across the ground until he stopped at a row of cacti. Luckily, he hadn't rolled _into _them, as that would've just made things that much worse. Darrin screamed as he ran across the field, followed by two men with revolvers who were shooting at him and laughing. The old man wasn't without his weapons, though, as he aimed back with a shot gun and sprayed buckshot straight into both men's legs. The two men screamed as they went down, rolling down a steep embankment, and Darrin disappeared over a ridge as Lavi stood up shakily, watching the Level Three advance on him in what seemed like slow motion.

"Sorry, bud, not tonight," he muttered as he stepped to the side and swung his hammer, commanding it to grow as it came around. The Akuma didn't have time to stop as it smashed straight into the face of the hammer, throwing it a good thirty feet as well. Lavi figured it'd be out of commission for a while when suddenly he heard a pained scream. He looked towards the source of it, finding Esperanza on her knees as the Akuma rushed closer and closer. She'd been shot in both legs with syringes, the needles broken in her legs while the body of both were strewn on the ground. She tried to back away using her arms, but it wasn't doing much. The Akuma grabbed her by the collar of her pajamas and threw her straight up into the air. Lavi's eyes widened as he realized he had two choices - catch Esperanza and risk getting shot himself for standing still... or get the Akuma and let Esperanza fall, possibly killing her.

Lavi decided to make an option three, and he smashed his hammer into the abdomen of the demon before extending the handle and pushing it down the mountain side a good hundred feet. Esperanza came down screaming and flailing like a rag doll, and Lavi barely managed to catch her (though catch her he did- in fact, he caught her so well, he ended up on the ground because of it). He got up, depositing her on the ground, before asking, "Can you stand at all?" Esperanza tried desperately to get up, but her legs wouldn't support her.

"I can't... I can't use my legs, I... I can't-" A crack of thunder sounded, and she cringed into a ball as best as she could, drenched in the rain and looking like a drowned cat. Lavi helped her up, but he suddenly came to the revelation that they had bigger problems. Three Level Threes sudden emerged, the two from before and a third that had arrived just that minute. Things just seemed to be getting worse around here.

"Esperanza, there's got to be something you can do," Lavi said in an exasperated tone, feeling slightly overwhelmed. She fumbled with her rosary, trying to shape it, but her mind was too frazzled and too panicked to shape anything. Lavi was on his own. He rotated his hammer over and over in his hand, trying to think as all three of them leveled their arms towards the Exorcists, no doubt relishing their fear and apparent helplessness. They were too close now for him to even attempt a Fire Seal, and a Heaven Seal wouldn't do any good. A Fire+Heaven seal would burn himself and Esperanza as well as the Akuma, and he didn't much feel like frying. Suddenly, one of the Akuma was hit over the shoulder with a spray of buckshot, and Darrin shouted, "Go ahead and come at me, ya bastards!" The three took a look at the American man on top of his ledge, and he froze like a deer.

"Wuh-oh," Darrin said before running back. Despite his sudden bid to abandon the two Exorcists, the diversion was just enough for Lavi to swing his hammer in a wide circle, catching all three Akuma on the head of his hammer. They were flung towards the edge of the mountainside, and they tumbled farther down. Lavi opened his fire seal, and he unleashed it on the three Level Threes scrambling to stand up. Two escaped, fleeing - one was caught in the blaze, and he watched it as it was turned into a char mark on the ground. Exhausted and drained, Lavi sat on the ground, the rain falling in great sheets over him. He realized that he was never going to be dry by now, and he looked over to Esperanza. The woman seemed almost catatonic, as she was merely sitting there, letting the rain soak her. Her eyes were glued to the ground, and he realized that perhaps with all that was going on, she'd had enough. Lavi's lips pressed together, and he picked her up in a bridal carry.

"Let's get this checked out..." Lavi stated clinically, but on the inside, he was broiling. Esperanza had been nothing if not capable since he'd gotten here, yet now she'd been lowered to one scared, frightened young woman. He couldn't help but be a little angry, though at the same time he knew that there was nothing Esperanza could do about her phobia or her iniquities at present. Besides, Level Threes were exceptionally tough creatures, and he was hoping for too much if he thought a recent fighter. He carefully maneuvered them both into their low tent, and he put her down on her bedroll. He ripped her pants at the seams, and he winced at the gashes the needles had made into her flesh. They were at least a few inches deep, but they hadn't hit any main arteries, so they wouldn't spray or bleed out to the point of death. Esperanza seemed to be regaining her mental faculties as she said, "The easiest way to do this is to do it quick." She looked up at Lavi with the grim realization that this was probably going to be very, very painful.

Lavi gripped one of the broken needles, and he tried to ignore the wince on her face. Still, he made the mistake of looking at her, and he felt a pang of sympathy at the dread in her face. He offered her his hand, and for once she didn't refuse. She gripped his hand, but not too tightly, as he gripped the needle with his other hand. Esperanza had her head bowed, and he could hear her mumbling something, probably either a prayer or a curse. Finally, Lavi yanked, eliciting a shocked scream from Esperanza and a crushing pain in his free hand as her grip tightened. She was shaking now, but she was still holding her composure, and Lavi was glad for that. Plenty other women would be blubbering, screaming, and attempting to do all sorts of other things. Lavi took hold of the other needle firmly, and he yanked again, freeing that one. Her scream wasn't quite as loud, seeing as she knew what to expect, and her tight grip on his hand had not changed.

He cleaned and bandaged both legs. He told her, "The stuff they use in those syringes only lasts about thirty minutes to an hour. It's pretty weak stuff, and you should be able to walk around by tomorrow." Esperanza nodded blearily. Lavi frowned in concern, and he tried to separate what were his feelings and what was the facade he put on to seem more human and inviting. It was getting harder and harder to tell the difference these days. Esperanza attempted to lie down, but it was difficult for her, and he had to help her, despite her protests. He managed to get her back into the fort that he'd built earlier out of their things, and she quickly fell asleep, emotionally, physically, and mentally pushed beyond her limits. Lavi found himself in much the same predicament with a large amount of road rash still untended on his shoulder where he'd skidded across the ground, and the fact that it was a bit difficult for him to treat it himself.

"Partner, yer in one helluva lotta trouble," Darrin said irritatingly as he was about to enter the tent, but upon seeing the sleeping Esperanza (nearly pantless, no less), he quickly lowered his voice, as well as sneaking looks at her. Lavi felt the urge to slap the little man, but he _had _saved their lives. He guessed peeping at Esperanza and her legs were a small price to pay at the moment. If she'd been awake, that wouldn't be the case of course, but...

"What do you mean, I'm in a lot of trouble?" Lavi asked, his normally cheery delivery coming out a bit flat and forced. The man sat on the ground right outside the tent, and he started picking his teeth with an ever-present toothpick that was always in his chest pocket. He made a sour face at Lavi and said, "No one said nothin' 'bout bein' chased, bein' murdered, or bein' wanted by the most powerful man this side o' the Rio Seco, compadre." Lavi blankly stared before he asked, "You ask that _now?_ After nearly twenty miles up a mountain and fifty through a desert, you decide that _now _is the best time to start complaining?" Lavi made sure to keep is voice a whisper-hiss. Esperanza was still asleep - at least, he thought she was.

"Well, ya see, my uh-mee-go bway-no, I think I'm gonna have to go and up my cost a bit, seein' as we're runnin' around with them monsters on our tail and Senor Dom ain't happy witcha and all a' that brouhaha yer done stuck in," Darrin stated, scratching his stubble and making one of the most irritating noises Lavi could imagine. At the moment, his nerves were frazzled, his mind was in a thousand different places at once, and his patience had long since run out on him.

"Okay, what the hell do you want, then?" Lavi asked, irritated and wishing the massive scrape on his shouder would just walk off and leave him alone. Blood was ruining his shirt, and Esperanza had bought it just a few days ago.

Darrin said, "Well, I say, four hundred pesos, two cases of whiskey... and maybe a night with yer li'l Spic gal right there, and that'll be settled." Lavi felt a flare of anger and indignation at how lightly Esperanza's mention was used, not to mention its connotation and the mention of 'Spic'.

"How about 'hell no, you creep'?"

Darrin looked offended. "Hey, it ain't fair you done get to keep all the meat 'round here." Lavi blinked in confusion. What did he say?

"I mean, really, is that fair? I'll pay her just like you pay her, and all's fair and squared away," Darrin said, and Lavi suddenly was hit with a revelation. He thought that he... and Esperanza... that she was his... He shook his head and said, "If you haven't figured out yet, she's an _Exorcist, you dumbass. _I don't know where you've been this entire time, but she happens to be able to take that cross around her neck and use it to make weapons. She and I don't..." He didn't even want to talk about it. It was just too... His mind jumped towards different images, but a practiced motion he'd learned beat them all away as effectively as holy water to a vampire.

Darrin looked confused for a moment before letting out a raucous laugh, and he said, "Shoot, feller, ya shoulda said somethin'. God damn, I didn't notice a thing. I done seen you fight 'n all with that hammer, but I never payed attention to the little lady. 'Sides, she wears men's trousers. If she wore a skirt like all them other girls 'round here, I wouldn't have thought she was a hussy. Well... I might've. I dunno, but I didn't mean no disrespect or nothin', I treat all my whores with the utmost respect." He said the last part solemn as the grave, and Lavi was a bit taken aback. The man wasn't offended in the least, but Lavi still felt a little wounded that the man would think he'd take a girl with him with the intention of...

"What did you think you were leading us up the mountain for?" Lavi asked, and Darrin picked at his teeth, the brown stump of his rotten tooth wiggling like a worm made of calcium. It picked at Lavi's tendencies for orderliness and cleanliness to see him do that... Darrin shrugged and stated, "I thought she was a hussy 'n her daddy was mad atcha fer taken her maidenhead or somethin' and you was gonna run away up this here mountain. Didn't look much like that's how it was gonna go, but you two ain't normal lookin', what with her pant wearin' and you n' that hammer. I guess I thought you two were weirdos tryin' to get up to the springs up at the top of the mountain. I seen lots a' weird stuff, though yer hammer 'n you take the cake." Lavi nodded, but stopped.

"Springs?" he asked, realization starting to click in his head. Darrin nodded.

"Yep. Springs. Hot springs, where fancy white people and fancy Spics go up to get all cleansed and such. They're right on the border o' the Lago de los Condemnos or whatever it is them damn Spanish people say. If it weren't fer the fact it's so far up this here mountain, lots more people woulda gone up here by now. Since you was an English feller, and she was a pretty lookin' Hispanic girl with pants and plenty a' scars, I done thought that you'd hired me to take you there for the springs so you could get a romantic night or somethin' like that. Now that I think of it, that's mighty weird considering whores tend to be pretty superstitious. Legend has it, the devil's fire lights up them springs, and that's what makes 'em so hot, so she wouldn't wanna come if that were the case," Darrin said nonchalantly. Lavi thought about this for a moment or two. He was about to say something else, but a loud snore interrupted him.

Darrin was asleep sitting up. Lavi rolled his eyes. It seemed that despite his cantankerous behavior, even old Darrin couldn't stay up for long. Lavi decided he'd sleep with the road rash over his shoulder and clean it up in the morning. He lay down next to Esperanza, knowing that he'd never sleep if it wasn't on a bedroll considering his new assortment of hurts and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thank you to all those people actually reading my story (I am aware of the praise given on reviews, but despite that I don't hardly believe in my own writing ability - bear with me). Also, thanks very much to St. Iggy The Pyro for commenting. It's greatly appreciated.

Remember that a **well-rounded **review is the best thing you can give to another writer. I very much appreciate that a lot of you guys give me so much praise, but I'd also like to see what I can do better on, such as viewpoint focus, plot weaving, and battle scenes or the like. I don't want just good - I need the bad, too. I apologize if I sound picky.

I apologize to all _hispanohablantes _who read this story. I know, I have butchered your language. If you could, tell me what I've gotten wrong, and I can attempt to rectify some of those things in later chapters.

Again, thank you all you who read, review, and subscribe! - Doctor Yok


	8. Dia de la Tequila

Days passed after the incident with the Akuma and the thunderstorm. After three days of trekking in non-stop rain and thunder, they had finally reached the Inca road that Darrin had told them led up the mountain. It was a stair step contraption that, no doubt, was better suited to llamas and alpacas than horses. After four days of climbing up this staircase of a road, the rain finally stopped and blue sky was seen for the first time in days. Needless to say, Esperanza was relieved, as she hadn't hardly slept in three days despite Lavi's help in comforting her during the rougher parts of the storms. Of course, this led to Esperanza being exceptionally cranky and to Darrin being exceptionally annoying in order to peeve her. Both Darrin and Esperanza had a strange, odd sort of way with each other in that Darrin loved to pick at her and Esperanza loved to shove him off his mule in retribution. It was a love-hate relationship.

This sort of relationship showed itself more often than not through banter, and that banter escalated the more peeved and annoyed Esperanza happened to be. Lavi absolutely loved to watch them square off, because it relieved the boredom of riding on a horse up a staircase. Today was an unusual day in that Esperanza and Darrin were, believe it or not, agreeing to stay silent for once. Lavi's source of entertainment had just been thrown out the window, and he didn't know why.

"You guys aren't fighting," Lavi noted incredulously. His voice sounded muffled by the vegetation around them, seeing as he'd been in open country only a few days before. They'd already hit the forest layer of the mountain. The flora was getting slowly taller and taller the farther up the mountain they went. It was an odd, strange sort of change. The horses were not too happy with it. Esperanza looked back with a look of surprise, and she said, "_Perdon?_" Darrin's answer was only slightly less eloquent. "Wut?"

"Usually you guys are on each other like a mongoose on a cobra. What gives? It's kinda creepy," Lavi admitted. He was used to bickering between teammates, though not of the serious kind. After all, Kanda and Allen had bickered constantly. Lavi felt a strange, hollow ping inside of himself as he thought of his two other best friends, somewhere in the world without him. Usually he didn't miss them quite so fervently, but lately...

"Today is a regional holiday. _Dia de la Tequila,_" Esperanza said. "The tradition is that you are openly honest with those around you, and that you drink two bottles of tequila by midnight."

"It's m'favorite holiday outta the whole year," Darrin cackled. " 'Speranza 'n I decided we're gonna have a truce t'day. No arguin', no bickerin', no grabbin' and pinchin' and peepin'. Just bein' a plain ol' gentleman, and then havin' a good knockback o' tequila at the end of the day." Lavi stared in a bit of disbelief. It wasn't like they'd tried to off each other (their vehemence towards each other was nowhere near the levels exuded by either Kanda, Allen, or both), but their constant nagging had been a sort of white noise that had kept Lavi from slowly going insane in the loneliness of the wilderness.

Lavi was very much a people person. Even before his days as Lavi, he had always held a secret joy of being around people. To be alone was a strange, alien feeling. He'd always been around Bookman and people, in cities and warzones. Wars were fought by people, or people-shaped beings, and that meant Lavi had to be around them. He didn't know what he would've done if he'd gone up the mountain by himself. The silence probably would've driven him mad. He usually had Allen or... or Lenalee with him, or... even Kanda, being silent, had his own sort of presence that warded off that feeling of loneliness. Lavi wasn't sure what it was, but being alone had always almost seemed to frighten him, and he didn't know why.

"None at all?" he asked, almost pleadingly, and Esperanza lifted one scarred eyebrow.

"It is _Dia de la Tequila. _On that day, you have no enemies. All things are forgotten for one day of the year, and everyone actually gets some peace," Esperanza said serenely, and Lavi could feel the fear edging in. This was... this was a bit much for him to swallow. Humans just didn't... it wasn't like... they didn't just _forget _things. They dug them back up, aired them back out, and used them as handy little flags to wave them around to everyone who could hear about it, and then... well, wars have been started over smaller things than having a cow in the wrong pasture... Lavi sighed, and he said, "All right. I guess I'll go along with it."

For the next few hours, they continued on without a word, and Lavi could feel the panic begin creeping in. At the least, the beech trees swayed and the shrub rustled with the sounds of animals foraging, abating that feeling of loneliness, but there was just still that crawling feeling of unease that skittered across his skin like a scorpion he couldn't find itching across his entire length. He was relieved when they finally put down for the night in a small clearing off the Inca road.

"Hm, better be on the watch. Inca probably still around here. Some scars're on the ground 'round here." Darrin asked as Lavi helped him set up his tent in his usual spot, near the horses and llamas and, of course, his favored mule. Lavi looked up in surprise.

"They've survived up here?" Darrin looked astounded that Lavi didn't know about any of this. He laughed and slapped his thigh before saying, "I thought you was some sorta educated feller! 'Course they are! They done intergrated with th'Spaniards like a cuckoo with sparrows. You kiddin' me? They live up here, all right, and sometimes they get madder 'n hell if ya trespass on their land." He shook his head and grumbled. Lavi shrugged, and he asked, "Well, what do they do to people who trespass?"

"They make 'em do a whole crapload a' paperwork, 'at's what! 'N they know how to make ya do it, too. I tell ya, it's about five hours o' wrist-cramping, eye-crossin' hell!" Lavi laughed as he pounded a stake into the ground. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Esperanza already setting up their tent, half of it already up. She worked fast. If she kept at this pace, he bet they'd have time before cooking dinner to actually practice with her Innocence. She'd confessed earlier in the trip that she hadn't really practiced with it so much as _used _it in dire cases, but that wasn't good enough for Lavi. One day she was going to need it in a form she'd never tried before, and that day would test her like no other. Of course, that was not to say she was not a good fighter. All fighters, however, had areas of improvement.

As Lavi turned towards Esperanza, a strange bout of dejavu sliced straight through him, coloring this picturesque place a strange shade of nostalgia. For some reason... it was familiar, as if he'd done this before. He watched Esperanza as she stood staring off into the forest, her scars hidden by the turn of her face and suddenly looking so much more vulnerable, so much younger. And then, her face was painted with the color of bomb-lights, her hair blown by wind caused by an explosion, rubble in her face and dust against her skin -

Lavi shook his head, kneading his forehead. He didn't know where that had come from... and that scared him. Never had he had a memory he could not place, but this one... it was so offhanded and so strangely intimate, it was like a ghost of a memory, part of a half-forgotten dream. He wanted to dismiss it, but he was not just any ordinary man. His ability to recall and recite information flawlessly was his entire purpose, and the fact he could not place this single iota of a memory worried him about his abilities in functioning as a Bookman. He continued helping Darrin with his tent, but his mind was preoccupied as the man prattled about something or other concerning the Incas.

Throughout the day, he pondered this mystery. While practicing with Esperanza, he tried to recreate the same memory using his Fire Seal against her at one point to test a shield, but the effect was not the same. No bout of nostalgia overtook him. Still, her shield was at the least effective against his flames, and that was the point of what they were doing. Esperanza noticed his sudden strangeness, however, and she asked, "_Amigo, _are you all right? You seem... not here." She tapped the side of her head at the temple, and Lavi chuckled sheepishly.

"I've got a lot on my mind these days. Don't worry about it." Esperanza, nevertheless, looked skeptical. Darrin suddenly snickered, and Esperanza whipped her head around to glare at him.

"What?"

Darrin pointed to the back of her pants and finally let loose a guffaw. Esperanza turned to see her backside, and she realized that it was charred in several places for some reason, and that parts of her butt were visible. Huffing, she stomped towards her tent, and Lavi had to snicker behind his hand. He was wondering how long Darrin could keep up their truce, and it seemed like it wasn't for long. He shouted something concerning embarrassing tattoos, and Esperanza answered back in rapid, angry Spanish. This just made Lavi laugh even more. Things were returning to normal as usual.

Their day continued on normally until dusk as they were sitting around a small fire. They had to keep their impact as minimal as possible in order to keep their presence on the trail unknown. If Darrin was correct, others journeyed this same road up to Incan ruins near the mountain's summit, and they look for gold. They weren't afraid to shoot people they thought were stealing their gold, either, whether or not that was the person's purpose. As they sat there, Darrin whipped out a square, clear bottle of a clearish looking liquid, and Lavi raised an eyebrow at the both of them.

"You two will seriously do the whole 'drink two bottles of tequila before midnight' thing?" he asked, and Esperanza shrugged.

"Sometimes the rules change to one bottle of tequila. Of course, Darrin could drink one by himself if he wanted to. He drinks like a fish," Esperanza said sardonically, and Darrin pouted in offense.

"Hey! I know how ta drink m'liquor. 'Sides, I don't hardly drink no liquor until m'day's done and m'work's over with. I ain't one o' them fool men who go and drink their money like the world's gonna end," Darrin muttered vehemently. Esperanza and Lavi stared at the man. This... actually held water. They'd never seen him drink on the trip so far, except perhaps later in the night when all their work was finished and they were winding down. The only thing he drank out of was a hip-flask that wasn't much bigger than Esperanza's entire hand, and it must've held some strong liquor in it if he could keep that the entire estimated four weeks it'd take them up the mountain and down.

"Then what do you want two cases of whiskey for?" Lavi asked, and Darrin's look shifted over to the young redhead. Darrin coughed into his hand discreetly, and he said, "I got a couple a' fellers up north in the States that could do with a drink. Some of 'em are for them, some are for me, and some are for some o' those poor boys fightin' the War." Lavi and Esperanza's faces sobered as something began to click in their heads.

"Darrin, what are you doing down here in Argentina, anyways?" Lavi asked. Darrin stared into the fire, the light flickering like an imp over his features and making him look older than he was. His white stubble stood out against the darkness behind him, and his eyes suddenly looked jaded and cloudy. His long, patrician nose made him look almost regal, but his eyes appeared sunken, giving the appearance of weariness. He closed his eyes, rubbing his face as he did so, and he stated, "Ain't nothin' right 'bout havin' to fight yer own brother over some dumb black man. Just not right. Ain't worth it." Lavi's face fell as he realized what must've happened.

He didn't know what side of the States he was from, but they were having political issues that were reverberating across the world, especially on the issue of keeping slaves and how to operate a country that runs on slavery as its main work force. Had that war gone underground, Lavi might've actually ended up going to America instead to document it while Bookman stayed with the Order. There were very few times where Lavi ever ended up on any one side of a war, and this was one of them. The American Civil War, however... He would've had no choice but to stay neutral due to the fact that each side was basically the same save for the one issue of the black man and his rights as a human being.

"Why's that not worth it?" Lavi asked curiously. Darrin stared past Lavi to Esperanza and he said, "Because slavery'll just jump to another race. It'll be the same thing over again under a different name. Ain't that right, 'Speranza?" The young woman stared at Darrin with a harsh, blank look, and Lavi felt a pang. The two were opposite sides. A woman and a minority as well as considered a burden in her own country, and a white man running from a fight.

"He is correct," Esperanza said. Darrin passed the bottle to her, and she took a swig, wincing as the burning liquid passed down her throat. She handed the bottle to Lavi, and he looked at it pensively, reading the label. It was a cheap brand of tequila, but did that really matter? He took a swig himself, and he coughed some of it into the fire. It was stronger than he'd expected. Darrin chuckled as Esperanza clapped Lavi on the back, the fire jumping at the presence of flecks of alcohol.

"Got a bit of a sting, don't it?" Darrin said with a laugh, his face transformed by his smile. The haggardness went away and the seriousness dissipated. Lavi nodded, and he stared at Esperanza. "You people are masochists! How the hell do you swallow that stuff?" The most alcohol Lavi had consumed was a few glasses of champagne at a party with Allen and Kanda, and, go figure, the two of them were both unable to get drunk due to their high metabolisms, so Lavi ended up floored trying to beat them in a drinking contest. He'd learned his lesson when it came to drinking against men who normally ate enough for five people. Anyways, Bookman had forbidden Lavi alcohol after that. Lavi wasn't exactly sure why, considering he figured he'd done pretty well for a guy who'd been drunk (he hadn't danced on any tables or spilled drinks on ladies with expensive dresses).

"It is easy. You put it in your mouth. You swallow," Esperanza said, and Darrin guffawed. He slapped his knee, just about dying of laughter. Lavi tried again, this time with better results. As they passed around the bottle, they started talking about friends, family, anecdotes. Darrin had a brother in Tennessee who'd gotten out of being drafted by faking a busted knee. Lavi missed Allen and Lenalee so much that one night he'd almost cried. Esperanza's mother was actually Inca by birth, making Esperanza half Inca. They continued to reminisce up until the point that Darrin finally fell over backwards, and the bottle was nearing the bottom. Esperanza and Lavi took Darrin by each armpit and dragged him towards his own tent. After depositing the snoring man to his quarters, the two of them sat at the fire side, telling stories.

"I mean, _mi Dio, _of all places he could go to bathroom, the well is not one of them," Esperanza stated exasperatingly, her words mixing together as she fought with a now-cloudy mind in order to translate. Lavi laughed, shaking his head. His movements were a bit clumsy by now. The bottle was completely empty, and the darkness was fully complete. The fire was nothing but embers now, and Lavi suddenly felt something. As Esperanza sat quietly, he could sense it, this... this strange sense that was causing fear and panic. The loneliness... but Lavi wouldn't let it control him. He'd been alone plenty of times before, and he had survived. However, his cumbersome mind did not seem to be nimble enough to catch this newly found panic. Esperanza stared at him for a moment in scrutiny, but in her state she did not notice anything other than a rather contemplative stare.

"Bookman shaves his... his _eyebrows,_" Lavi offered, and Esperanza sighed with a shadow of a smile at the edge of her lips, her version of a laugh. "It's gross. Leaves hair ev-everywhere, and I'm just like 'What the hell is this' 'n... ah, I love that old man, though." Esperanza looked at him, and she lifted both eyebrows in question.

"He raised me. Bookman. He's, uh... he's tough 'n... 'n I love him but... sometimes... I don't even know what I'm saying!" Lavi said, laughing. The dying embers of the fire popped, and his face fell. "Even... though even he, y'know, just... just with me all the time, I mean, _all the time, _I don't... I feel like... I don't..." He couldn't put it in words. He turned to Esperanza and asked, "You know what I mean?" Esperanza thought for a bit... and then shook her head.

Lavi sighed. "It's... it's like...like I'm in... It's like I'm in... in this room, and there are lots of people, lots and lots and _lots _of people but... even if I'm with them... I don't feel like I'm _with _them." He stared at the fire with a mournful expression. Esperanza reached for his shoulder, but even then that Hispanic reserve in her spoke out and she withdrew. Lavi wrung his hands. Why was this loneliness plaguing him now? Or had it before, and he'd never noticed? Or maybe it was this wild, open expanse that had triggered it - these trees did not help the feeling that he was alone, though Darrin and Esperanza did, with their bickering and pranks and story-topping-wars. He missed his friends, his _first _friends. He didn't know how close he was to Esperanza, but he knew that she was trustworthy at the least. It wasn't the same as with Allen or Kanda or Lenalee or Johnny or Komui. He didn't know enough about her. For some reason, that frightened him. He looked back at her, and the dying firelight in her face highlighted her scars in gruesome detail. Suddenly, he knew what those scars were because he'd seen them on countless other people

_shrapnel scars that decorated the faces of veterans. Hot dirt, ash, and rubble flying past always made a mark, small etches and big etches. They marked the faces of those who worked with exploding things, dangerous things, men like these. And these men were all coming back from war, tired but victorious, and he could not join in their revelry. It was not his place. He recorded the events on the top of a hill, watching them dance by the fire and play instruments. He looked up at Bookman and asked, "Our work is done?" The old man, his stooped shoulders and question-mark ponytail in relief against the glow of another fire, shook his head, and he pointed a gnarled finger towards the edge of the forest_. _A contingency of men were approaching, but he made no remark or expression of face. Yet on the inside, he felt a stir of something, and he asked, "Should we tell them? That they are about to be ambushed?" He was given a glare that only a schoolteacher could master, and he shrank in his seat despite the fact his face gave away nothing. _

_"You know better."_

"I know better," Lavi muttered under his breath. He remembered every iota of that day. Every Bookman had to remember days right down to the fine-point details, from what was eaten to the clothes the men wore to the weapons they had stolen. And yet... he couldn't help but feel somewhat ashamed now, thinking back, because he had let those men die. They had all died quietly and swiftly, the heroes of a war that were soon forgotten after a knife came from behind and spilled their blood. Suddenly, he was assailed by a feeling of grief, and he couldn't understand what it was. Was that him or Lavi that was feeling the grief? Was there a difference anymore?

"_Que?"_ Esperanza asked, her voice sounding slightly weary. She stretched out, her back popping in several places as she got up.

"_Ir a voy a acostarme,"_ she said, not realizing she spoke Spanish. Lavi, unable to interpret that fast, or any at all given his brain's current capacity for language, only knew one thing - she was leaving. Suddenly, that fear overtook him again, and he realized he was panicking again. He quickly stood up and shouted, "WAIT! Wait wait wait!" He stumbled along behind her, and Esperanza suddenly stopped to stare at him in confusion. He tripped on the ground in the dark, and the fear of being alone hit him like a freight train. He couldn't control it. The fear had been building, and he'd never had it this bad before, but the combination of alcohol, recent events, and heightened feeling of vulnerability had brought it to a fever pitch.

Finally getting up, he groped in the dark towards Esperanza, grabbing her wrists. She stiffened as he pulled her towards him, but as he began to speak, her body began to relax. He was... pleading. Their heads were fuzzy, and the words didn't make much sense, but the general feeling of fright and need was conveyed between the two, and a maternal sort of instinct sort of took Esperanza over. In a sort of stumbling/walking lope, they headed back towards the fire. They both sat down in silence as Lavi seemed to gain hold of himself again.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"_Es bien,_" she stated.

They watched the remains of the fire crackle and pop for a few more moments, the embers the color of gray-coated dull orange. Lavi finally stated, "I... I don't... I'm scared of being alone. I'm really... _really, really _not... not good with... I don't..." He looked over at Esperanza, and suddenly he came to a sort of epiphany. He'd never really known what another human's love was like. Bookman had shown him the minimum amount of affection required of a teacher and a caretaker, Allen and Kanda weren't _that _huggy, and Lenalee was the closest thing he had to a sister and someone who'd given him affection before, but... There was something missing. Something he hadn't noticed, or, rather, had noticed but put to the back of his mind because it hadn't been a priority. He'd shoved it to the back of his mind many times during situations when it was not necessary or comedic to play up on it, or whenever he was busy documenting.

Yet now, he was not inhibited to the fine tuned training that Bookman had instilled in him. Instead, those inhibitors were now broken, and had Lavi been able to watch himself, he would understand why Bookman had actually banned alcohol from him. It destroyed the barriers that were not yet solid in his mind, the barriers which had not yet crystallized completely into the iron bands of will that would confine and compartmentalize his mind. Temporarily, under this influence, his brain would be completely freed of whatever restraints it had once held. One part of him he'd never allowed to flourish was suddenly coming to light, the part that wanted human affection and intimacy, the part that was the most dangerous to a man such as himself. It was unleashed, and Lavi wasn't sure how to handle it in his state, confused, scared, and so lonely and starving for human contact. He wanted to know so much that he was human and had human feelings and deserved the same rights. He hardly even considered himself the same species, and at one time he'd loathed it, but now he wanted to know what it was like to be human.

And to make human mistakes. To be able to stumble and trip and fall.

He reached towards Esperanza's face, framed by wavy black hair and scored with the scars. He touched skin, and he could feel her confusion through his finger tips. His fingers found their way to the back of her neck, tracing scars crisscrossing the nape, and things seemed to be moving fast and slow at the same time. He tentatively drew her towards him, and she resisted initially. In the dark, he could sense her apprehension, but he didn't care anymore. Just for once, he wanted something for himself. Solely for himself. No one else. The dying light glinted off her eyes, and for a moment he saw recognition before he clumsily felt his lips land on the corner of her mouth. Her resistance faded as she corrected him. He could feel her pull him closer, and he felt a strange sort of euphoria that he'd never encountered in his life. It was almost addictive. It _was _addictive, but that thought was buried under the presence of this newfound want. It was greedy, consuming as it burned as if it couldn't have enough. If sunlight had a taste, that was exactly how she tasted. Her smell was in his nose, and his mind was completely and utterly preoccupied with a thousand different feelings and thoughts, all of them muddled by alcohol and helter-skelter confusion and chemicals.

Before he knew it, one button of her shirt was undone, and her arms were around his neck. He'd never thought she could be passionate, as calm and reserved as she was, but he guessed he was wrong, though all his thoughts drifted as if in a fog. As the shirt began to slip off his shoulder, he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye, and he froze, stiffening. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at the image on her shoulder, her mouth moving against his, but his own completely slack as pieces began falling into place.

_Shrapnel scars..._

_Dejavu..._

_A young woman's face wreathed by the light of a bomb-fire..._

_Screams in the night, running, hiding, scary sounds and lights that flashed death, dead bodies...  
><em>

Suddenly, Lavi shoved her away, sending her sprawling backwards as he stood up. Hastily, he tried to edge backwards, but his feet tangled around themselves, and he fell down. He crabwalked backwards, his breathing ragged as he stared at the dark inside the darkness, the woman who was now a devil instead of a saving angel. If anyone was guilty of bloodshed, it was the both of them, one by omission and one by affiliation. Esperanza stood up, her dark stare a question that Lavi wasn't sure he wanted to answer. She blinked before unconsciously stroking the scars on her face, and Esperanza buttoned her shirt with clipped motions, or at least as clipped as a drunk woman could make them. Before she could button it all the way, Lavi caught the glimpse of the leonine lines of a jaguar jumping across the skin of her shoulder, and he felt a shiver pass down his back.

His brain was too muddled for him to really know what the jaguar meant or why he had suddenly felt so repulsed by Esperanza. Lavi drew his knees to his chest as he heard her footfalls fade in the direction of their tent, and he knew that he was now well and truly alone, pushing away the only other company he had out here in this wilderness. His mouth suddenly set into a hard line, and he stood up, stumbling back to their tent. It would be an awkward night, but even he knew he'd need to sleep at some point. As he crawled into the tent, he could hear the gentle breathing of Esperanza, still awake and trying to appear asleep. The sudden urge to reconcile what he'd done crossed Lavi's mind, and he felt his heart crack as he thought of how she might feel about being pushed away as she had been. Remembering her touch the scars on her face led Lavi to conclude she must've thought...

The redhead parted the curtain between his side of the tent and hers. In spite of his 18th century upbringing, alcohol seemed to be wanting to rewrite what was acceptable and what was not. Lavi scooted like a small child towards Esperanza, sitting as close to her as possible without touching her. He shook her shoulder and said, "Esperanza... Esperanza... Esperanza..." She finally turned to face him.

"What, _senor?" _In the back of his mind, Lavi realized she was pissed. She only ever called him senor when she was pissed. Lavi scrambled around this revelation and tried to find eloquent words to tell her, to make up for what he did because he didn't know why he did it. All he could find to do was hug her as best he could (which wasn't very well - as stated many times before, he was drunk), and Esperanza's body was as stiff as a board. It would be a long time before she would treat him as a friend again, especially seeing as they'd crossed that line, the one that stated 'you are friend and no more'. Still, he held her, unable to think of what else to do, and Esperanza's hand found his own, gripping it awkwardly, but not forcing him to let go of her.

"You know I not forgive you so easily? We... we should not do that anymore. Ever. It... it was not good," Esperanza said wearily, her words blurring into each other. Lavi nodded, and he answered, "Yeah... sure." The puzzle of the leaping jaguar occupied his mind as he buried his nose in her hair, feeling oddly safe despite the awkward situation. The next day, Darrin would find them huddled together, one with his arms around the other's waist, and the other curled to the shape of his form. He would snicker, attempting to draw the two in his sketchbook (of which there would be a good likeness of them both), and he would wonder why the two would not speak to each other the whole day. But before all that, there was just a strange safety in being near a human being and the feeling that maybe one is not alone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I know, I know, this is a filler/padding chapter, but I wanted to get something in there that attributed something in the relationship between characters (and this was what popped out of my head :D).

I'd like to thank my new alerts for subscribing my story, Siry and Ella Unlimited. Also, my favorites people are awesome, too, newcomers being Ella Unlimited, KHFFROKSMISOKS XD, and thexlastxfantasy. Also, last, but most definitely not least, my reviewer, Ella Unlimited. I had said I wanted a well-rounded review, and boy did I get one. Look to reviews for chapter 7 for a good example of what a well-rounded review looks like, because she hit the nail on the head. It was an excellent review, and it was exactly the sort of review I wanted. Thank you, thank you, thank you all of you for reading this little sidenote fic, and I hope you continue to enjoy it.

(I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes that I didn't catch. Please bear with me. Again, I apologize to any Spanish speakers reading this. I know my Spanish is horrible.)


	9. In Ruins

Days passed, and the feeling of loneliness would not abate. The greenery and the changing landscape did nothing to alleviate the feeling of being isolated, and Lavi could feel it itching at his mind. Days after Dia de la Tequila, he had woken up with a massive headache along with his arms around Esperanza's waist. That had not gone over well with either of them, and Darrin had snickered the entire way up the mountain as Lavi and his Hispanic companion traded uneasy and awkward looks, especially when working together. He even had an allegedly scandalous sketch of the both of them huddled together in what seemed to the passerby as an amorous embrace. Esperanza had discreetly searched through his things, but she had not come back victorious.

"Perhaps we should burn all of his things. Say it was an accident," Esperanza muttered once to Lavi, who only laughed in response.

"That's actually sounding like a pretty good idea. I don't know what Bookman would do to me if he found that," Lavi answered, and suddenly he sobered upon thinking of Bookman. What would he have done in regards to his behavior? He was past the point of punishment by now - he was a legal adult, after all. Still, there was a part of Lavi that acted like a small child around Bookman, striving for attention and recognition. It was also the part that cringed into a ball upon receiving a scathing remark about how he screwed up or missed something important. He had no doubt earned one of those few scalding speeches by now, especially with... He glanced at Esperanza furtively, averting his eyes when she noticed his stare.

He couldn't help but stare sometimes, though, because he wanted to be sure that what he saw that one night, the panther on her shoulder, was real...or perhaps willing that it wasn't. Seeing again would only add to his anxiety and bring another wave of dejavu upon him. Realizing that it wasn't there would only spark more questions. There were so many unanswered inquiries he had...

_Bomb-fire wreathing the face of a young woman... _

Memories of another life seeped into his waking days more frequently now. He didn't know how to control them. They just slipped on fog-feet into his mind, swirling and lingering there like a bad taste in his mouth. Sometimes, he'd be overtaken completely by a memory and sit there, unaware that he was even in a memory. Bookmen memories were 'programmed' to be so vivid that every detail can be recounted, and Bookman had warned him that allowing himself to delve too deep could mean a loss in recognition between what was reality and what was the past. Usually something startled him out of these vivid flashbacks. Most oftentimes it was _Chuleta _who knocked him back into the present, whinnying or snorting when noticing that his rider was no longer giving him instruction where to go. He had not told either of his traveling companions, fearing that they would think him crazy or realize that he could possibly be endangered this way and head back. They usually thought he was daydreaming or something like that, which wasn't too far from the truth.

"We should prob'ly stop here for a bit. There's a stream over yonder that don't feed into the main headwater 'at's got the problems, so go and water yer horses for a bit," Darrin said, dismounting. Esperanza and Lavi got off their own horses, and they readied their own horses for a good rest. Darrin whistled a tune while he worked, and he none-too-discreetly waved a bit of paper in his face like it was a fan, showing a rather scandalous picture... Esperanza caught the gesture, and her eyes widened. Darrin started off on a three second headstart, Esperanza following close behind shouting profane things in rapid Spanish. Darrin cackled as he ran, being surprisingly nimble for a guy who looked like he'd met Methusalah and Moses and Abraham all in the same lifetime.

As their drifting voices faded, Lavi was left alone by himself. He stood in the clearing, amazed for a moment just how silent it happened to be, despite the sound of birds chirping and the rustling of leaves. As he stood there, almost transfixed, he had to fend of another memory, one that was of another place and time with the same sounds and smells of forest and wildlife. Suddenly, something caught his attention, an intuition of sorts, and he turned to look behind him. One green eye widened. He dropped the reins of his horse as he stared.

A boy, redheaded and very lightly freckled with an eye patch and poncho, stood there staring at Lavi with what he knew was disdain. The boy turned his head away from Lavi, staring up the Inca's excuse for a road. In the high-pitched fluted voice of a youth, he asked, "Are you sure you want to continue this road?" Lavi felt as if he were frozen. He'd only ever seen this part of himself, this deadened young part that had remained so suppressed these last two years, in Rhode's dream worlds. He could dismiss that as just a gimmick on Rhode's part, but this... this was insanity. He should not be seeing apparitions like this. Lavi felt his breath quicken as panic gripped him.

"I asked you a question," the boy asked Lavi harshly in biting tones. His eye was like a shard of glass, cold and cutting straight into Lavi to the heart of his guilty pleasures. Lavi shook his head and stated, "I don't want to keep going." The boy shrugged, and he pointed back down the road the way he came.

"Then you can always go back," the boy stated. Lavi frowned, and he realized he'd just answered an apparition of a younger form of himself. He shook his head, holding it between his hands as he backed away. He suddenly stared at the boy, and he stated, "Go away." The boy continued to stare as Lavi stood on the other side of the road.

"You heard me! Go!" Lavi shouted at him, and the boy smirked, the only facial expression Lavi knew the boy could make other than a frown of scorn. The boy stated, "You can't kill what you are." Esperanza's shrill Spanish curses painted the air with bright streaks of sound, and Lavi was momentarily distracted. He turned to look but suddenly remembered his adversary; however, upon turning back, he saw that the boy was no longer there. Lavi stood there, perplexed and frightened.

He had gone too far with this mask. He had separated his Bookman self and his persona too well, and now...

Esperanza came back, winded and grumpy, as she muttered, "That bastard ran off with the sketch and now I cannot find him again." She spat into the dirt contemptuously, and she asked, "Why did you not help me? We could have caught him if you had come followed. That sketch is dangerous." This piece of wit would usually be merited with a quick titter and a smile on Lavi's part, but the lack thereof caused Esperanza to look at him with greater scrutiny.

"_Amigo, _what is the matter? You look like you saw your grandmother in the tub naked," Esperanza asked, and Lavi actually gave a small laugh, though it sounded slightly hysterical. Recalling Bookman training, he carefully overlaid his feelings with a padding of indifference. He did not care, he did not want to care, his feelings meant nothing to this person, he should not care about his own being, he was a human recorder and nothing else... With a slight smile, he said, "I was just... I thought I saw something in the forest, something big, and I got a bit worried, but I think it was probably just a deer." Esperanza still looked slightly skeptical, but she said no more.

Darrin came to the road nearly twenty feet behind them, and Esperanza gave him a hard-edged glare of annoyance. The little man didn't even look like he'd broken a sweat. He laughed and said, "I ain't had a run like that in years! Shoot damn, I should travel witcha more often, girly-girl, jus' cuz ya keep me in shape and I like lookin' at ya." Esperanza rolled her eyes, grumbling something in Spanish under her breath as she started to lead her horse towards water. Lavi followed behind along with Darrin, and they watered the horses before going on.

As they rode along the road Lavi kept an eye out for the apparition that had appeared to him, but he didn't see it again. However, he did find something rather interesting as they set up camp, a fire scar that had been recent. He frowned, looking at the prints around the camp site. This road was well used, yes, but these shoes... He'd never seen their type of print before, and he would know. He'd seen many, many bootprints in his life and he'd actually memorized all of them. Each cobbler from each country made the tracks and shapes of their shoes unique, and these were only from the region they were currently in, which made sense save for one thing; there were only eight or nine towns in the area due to the lack of water and the arid climate, so that narrowed down the places these people could've come from, the biggest being Rio Seco. He didn't like the coincidence of Argentinian boots specifically from this region, much less this country (if the road was frequented by rich Argentinians from abroad) being so fresh when they themselves had just arrived. It seemed too much of a coincidence.

That night, Lavi decided to look around for some things, telltale signs of habitation by a specific group. There would be markers for that sort of thing, and Lavi wanted to make sure that there weren't people following them or leading ahead of them in waiting. He knew the Inca were around, but they weren't dangerous, mostly, from what Darrin had told him. Rich people went up this road now and again, but these were work boots, not the rich sort of soles a rich soul would use. There were small traces of black chewing tobacco, the same type Lavi got stuck on his shoes while in town. He could make out hoof marks from a team of horses. Who ever they were, they had not hid their tracks. Lavi was surprised that he hadn't noticed any other tracks until now.

Lavi continued searching for more signs, but he came up with nothing, going as far out as a hundred feet from the camp. He came down near the water, thinking perhaps he'd find something there, when he heard a voice. It was humming off key, but it was also recognizable. He frowned as he edged closer to the water, keeping quiet. He could see a woman's outline near the water, and he realized it was Esperanza taking a bath. He was about to high tail it back as fast as he could (after all, it was ungentlemanly to watch a young woman bathing, especially if said woman could shoot you from two hundred paces and not be an inch off her mark), but something stopped him momentarily.

Her shirt was already hung over a branch, and she was standing at the water's edge with just her bra, underwear, and pants. Across the front of her shoulder the smooth outline of a leaping jaguar pounced across the canvas of skin. Lavi stood still for several moments, realizing that the tattoo he had seen on her shoulder that night had not been a dream or a figment of his imagination. In one way, he was sort of relieved, because that just added more credibility to the fact he wasn't crazy. However, the dejavu also gained credibility as a real memory, meaning that Lavi had somehow _lost _a memory, and he wasn't sure if that was even possible. It still begged the question - what was that tattoo for and where had Lavi seen it before?

Realizing he was actually staring at Esperanza _as she was undressing, _Lavi immediately began to leave, the conundrum in his head as he walked back. Something rushed somewhere in the forest, however, and Lavi frowned. He looked towards the noise, and he saw the flash of a poncho. His eyes widened, and he realized there was another person watching them. He immediately started towards them, startling birds and animals as he weaved in and out of trees. The figure became more and more solid, and Lavi realized that he was being led... by a redhead with an eye patch. He stopped when he realized what he was following. In his haste to follow, though, he hadn't thoroughly memorized the path he'd taken, and now he was alone again.

It was deathly quiet. Lavi's eye narrowed, on the look out for the hallucination that was no doubt waiting for the appropriate time to attack him. He started to walk back the way he thought he'd come, but he stopped immediately upon spying the phantasm. They tensely stared at one another before the phantasm said, "Who do you think I am?" Lavi frowned at the question, and he decided to ignore him all together. Lavi walked straight past him, trying to go back towards the camp. He could faintly hear Esperanza humming, but it was farther off than he'd expected. Had he strayed so far?

"You aren't going to answer me?" the boy asked, trotting to keep up with Lavi's long-legged pace. Lavi didn't even acknowledge him as he walked on, resolutely headed towards the camp. The boy fell back... and he said, "So be it." Lavi kept walking, and the boy shouted, "You know what will happen! It's your own damn fault! You'll kill both of us, and you know it!" The words, for once, held a hint of anger and fear in them, and Lavi knew that in walking away from this part of himself, this figment... that a part of him was dying, and it was trying so hard to cling and become once more the core of his being. The Bookman in him was like an entirely separate entity, and he still wasn't sure what he was. He kept walking -

His foot suddenly was pulled from beneath him, and his head hit the ground with a resounding thunk. He could tell he was hanging upside down, but he was too disoriented to figure out why. His vision spun for a few moments...and then everything sudden went under a massive sheet of black.

* * *

><p>Lavi woke up with a sick feeling in his stomach and a whooshing feeling in his head. It took him several moments to realize he was hanging off of a tree by his ankle. He looked up blearily, noting the rope snare around his leg, and he sighed. He must've walked into some trap that someone had put out, and now he was stuck here. His hammer was on the ground below him, far out of his reach. He was at least five feet off the ground, and he didn't know if he had the strength to lift himself up to untie the knot in the snare. He swung back and forth for a moment, gathering his various mental faculties.<p>

He looked up, straining to see the snare around his ankle. He hung there again before jerking his entire top half towards his feet, but his hand just feel a scant few inches away from his target. He sighed as he swung there like a human chandelier, completely and utterly miffed that he'd been beaten by such an easy trap. Suddenly, the sound of rustling leaves reached his ears, and Lavi fought to spin around towards its source. He deflated as he groaned, "You have to be kidding me."

A jaguar padded across the ground quietly, inching towards him with a hungry look in its eyes. Lavi felt sweat dribble down his face, and he stuttered, "N-n-nice kitty. Good kitty. Come on, you don't want to eat me! I'm skin and bones! I don't taste good!" He started frantically swinging back and forth, hoping to catch a branch or something like that, but there wasn't anything within reach. The jaguar continued to come forwards, circling around the poor, lone human, and Lavi lifted himself up by sheer force of will, as well as good abdominal muscles, towards the rope trapping him. He managed to grab it, but he hung there awkwardly, bent in half as the jaguar circled below. It sat on its haunches and settled in for a good pounce. Lavi gave a girlish squeal as it came within several inches of his backside. It landed deftly on its paws and circled again. Lavi lowered himself again into his normal hanging position. It was tiring work to stay upright.

The jaguar jumped again, but Lavi was ready for it. He heaved himself up, and claws raked across his back for a moment, but gravity reclaimed the large feline. Its tail twitched in irritation that it couldn't grab such an easy meal, and it growled at Lavi as if that would make him drop to the ground. The jaguar settled in on its haunches a third time, and Lavi sucked in a breath for another girlish scream. Suddenly, though, a gunshot sounded, and the predator quickly disappeared into the underbrush. Lavi sighed with relief, but he realized his problems had only gotten bigger. Several men were now underneath him, pointing and laughing as they spoke in a language that he couldn't understand.

"This can't be good," he muttered to himself.

Several hundred feet away a few hours later, Esperanza and Darrin traipsed through the woods, looking for their lost comrade. Darrin whistled as he walked with his mule and Esperanza huffed as she tried to lead _Relampago _through the dense undergrowth.

"_Nino inutil, _making me go searching for him, the dumb ass..." she grumbled in irritation under her breath, and Darrin snickered. Suddenly, Darrin stopped, and he said, "Hey, ya might wanna look at this here. I found somethin' o' his." Esperanza looked back, and she asked, "Well, what is it?" Darrin picked up his hammer, turning it over and over.

"Don't look like no scuffle. A little blood here, and a bit of somebody dragging here, but other than that, ain't nothin' said he's had a fight with somebody," Darrin stated, kneeling on the ground and pointing to where the leaves and twigs had been disturbed. Esperanza's frown deepened upon seeing the blood, but she knew Lavi could handle himself quite well. She nodded and said, "Very well. Where do you think he has gone?" Darrin pointed up, and they saw the dangling piece of rope that had once been a snare.

"Got hisself caught in a snare. He ain't such a educated feller after all," Darrin murmured as he stood up on his mule's back. He examined the rope and stated, "He didn't get himself down. This was cut with a sharp knife, and I know he didn't have one. He woulda used it already if that was the case. Like when you two got caught in that rope." Darrin snickered at the remembered mishap of a coil of rope getting tangled around their legs, but Esperanza was not quite so fond of that memory. She shoved his ankles, and he shouted, "WHOA!" He hung on to the rope, swinging from it as the mule walked out from underneath him, and he swung.

"Okay, okay! Damn it, woman, that ain't funny! Now get me down!"

After putting Darrin on the ground, Esperanza looked down into the brush and found footprints. One set belonged to Lavi, and the others belonged to Inca trappers living in the mountains. She frowned. They were fairly fresh, making deep impressions into the damp ground. She followed the tracks, and she waved for Darrin to follow. About an hour later, they arrived at a half-burned village, and Esperanza sucked in a breath. The burns were recent as they were still smoking, and she wondered if Lavi could make fires without the use of his hammer. Still, it was hard to believe that Lavi -

She was suddenly hit full on in the head with a ball, the round thing making a hollow _thung _as it smashed into her. She felt her eye twitch as she turned to stare at a group of children all frozen like deer in front of a predator as well as Lavi, looking extremely guilty with the open-mouthed gape on his face. All the children ran away from him, shouting and screaming gleefully as they pointed at him and named him the culprit. Esperanza's mouth was a tight line, and Lavi sheepishly shrugged with a chagrined smile.

"Ohohohoho, yer in for it now, boy," Darrin said as Esperanza rolled up her sleeves and headed towards Lavi.

Moments later, they were sitting in the hut of the town's leader while Esperanza tended to the scratches on Lavi's back. She was none too gentle, and he was not one to complain.

Darrin translated for the man of the house while Lavi was being tended. After several minutes of talking, Darrin said, "There were men here long before us, but the burns were from another group of men who'd come up here only a few hours ago. They demanded to see some ruins, but they're a guarded secret 'round these parts, so the men burned most of the village down. They're still around here somewhere, but the Inca can't find them. The first group of men who came up were right strange, with glassy looks and a woman was leading them, which was really, really weird. They wanted to see the ruins, too, but they were smarter and they took the children as hostages." Lavi frowned.

"What did the woman look like?" Darrin translated, and the man immediately answered. His long, beak nose and smooth, hairless face gave him an appearance of timelessness, and Lavi felt strange, as if he were talking with a figment of the past.

"He says that she was blond with dark round circles in front of her eyes, and she wore a suit like the rich people down the mountain," Darrin relayed, and Lavi looked to Esperanza behind him. They stared at each other for a while. Lavi had told her about Lulu, and Esperanza was a quick woman with a quicker mind. They nodded infinitesimally to one another.

"We've got to see these ruins, then. We're looking for that woman." The man, understanding a good bit of English despite not speaking it, nodded. He spoke to Darrin, and the old man said, "He said he'll take us there, especially if we're against the guys who took their kids. They still got them." Lavi bit his lip. It would be hard to keep himself from getting personal in his endeavor to find out what was going on. Lavi had a soft spot for small children, one that few people knew. Yet another one of his failings...

"We'll find them. Just take us to the ruins."

They were soon brought before an impressive opening in the ground. The ruins were covered in layers of dirt and vegetation, so if one was to walk by, they wouldn't even notice anything was there unless they were looking for it. Darrin rode back to camp with _Relampago _in order to keep an eye on the horses and things.

"I'll come back with all the gear, and I'll wait for ya here," Darrin stated before leaving, and as Darrin left, it was as if he'd taken all the oxygen and light out of the air. The old man had done more for them than they knew, and they were feeling the effects of his absence. He'd acted as a buffer between Lavi and Esperanza what with their now awkward behavior towards each other. An uncomfortable silence now existed between them, and they had no choice but to either suffer through it or try and face the issues plaguing them both.

They were given lamps, rope, and other equipment by the Inca, and Lavi thanked them all. He attempted to pay them, but they shooed him off. Instead, they gestured to the children and said, "Bring. Bring." Lavi sobered as he realized that they only wanted their children back, and he smiled and nodded to them. He gave them a thumbs up as Esperanza began to lower the both of them into the tunnel lead into the ruin.

It was dark inside, with little sunlight drifting through the cracks. Lavi immediately felt claustrophobic, but he kept it under a lid. This wouldn't bother him near as much as anything else had today. They lit their lamps, throwing the walls of the ruins into relief. His eye widened, and he stared at the walls with awe. They were covered in pictures etched in stone, massive depictions of people and scenes of life. Esperanza ignored them, walking down the hallway as if they were the most normal thing in the world.

"Did the Inca build this?" Lavi asked, his voice hushed in amazement. He lagged behind her, staring at the walls of pictures. Esperanza answered, "Yes, while at their peak. The locals must've slowly buried these walls and tunnels. The Spanish would have destroyed them in order to kill what culture still survived." Lavi touched one picture of a long-nosed woman stirring a pot while smiling to the woman next to her shelling some sort of vegetable. He traced the edges of the pictures with his fingers. Another bit of history undiscovered, just waiting for someone to come and whip off the cloth, let it see the light-

"_Amigo? _We do not have all day. These lamps will not burn forever." Lavi had been so lost in his examination of the walls that he'd completely stopped to stare and touch and scrutinize.

"Oh, uh, right. Sorry." Lavi and Esperanza walked for nearly an hour into the darkness, and the air continually became cooler and cooler. The breeze dissipated, and they were very suddenly aware that they were now deep underground. Several time they came to forks in the road. They opted to stay together rather than split up, despite the fact they had emergency communications. Being lost under the ground was not high on their list of priorities. However, after what had to be several miles, their oil was half-way burned through. Esperanza suggested turning back before it got too low and they had to go by feel.

"Sounds good to me," Lavi said, but something caught his eye right before they began to head back. Esperanza had explained to him that this must've once been a street or something along those lines. Doors into what were once houses periodically cropped up every few meters, and Lavi had thought he'd seen a glint of something inside of one of the rooms. Lavi tugged on Esperanza's sleeve, letting her know that he was heading in a different direction. She followed, more out of curiosity than concern, and the both of them squeezed into one of the rooms.

The glint Lavi had seen was a piece of gold jewelry on the floor. It was rather large, a gold disk ornately etched. The other lay somewhere else on the floor in the corner, and he picked them both up.

"Amigo, you have not seen enough adventure movies. Put those back," Esperanza said drily. Lavi playfully dangled them next to his ears with a grin on his face, and Esperanza rolled her eyes.

"Do you want me to get you a dress, too?" she asked sarcastically as Lavi walked behind her. He dangled them next to her own ears, and she half-heartedly swatted them away.

"Oh, come on! You know you like shiny, yellow metal. You've got Inca blood in you. Technically, they could be yours," Lavi said, jingling them. Esperanza lifted her scarred eyebrow, and Lavi pouted. Esperanza snatched the earrings and put them on, and Lavi smiled. He dug into the knapsack at his side full of rope, finding a mirror.

"_Amigo, _why do you carry a mirror in your bag? Is there something I should be knowing?"

"Hey! It's handy whenever there's food stuck in your teeth!"

"And does this automatically make your bag a purse? It has a mirror in it."

"NO! It's a manbag! It is perfectly masculine."

"What else do you have in that bag? Lipstick? Hair ointment?"

"It's only the essential stuff, gosh. Leave me alone already. You give a woman an inch and she takes a damn mile..." He looked up at her finally, and he stopped for a moment in surprise. It was as if he were staring at someone from another time. The earrings completely changed Esperanza's face, highlighting certain features and downplaying others. He'd never seen her with ostentatious jewelry before, and he had to say that it actually worked well for her. She looked like some Incan warrior princess, or at least her face did. The rest of her clothes were horribly incongruous.

"That's it. I'm keeping them, and I'm making you wear them later." Esperanza deflated visibly.

"I was afraid that you might say something like that." She took off the earrings and tossed them carelessly to Lavi. He managed to catch the first, but the second he fumbled with, bouncing it across the room. Finally, it landed next to the doorpost, and Lavi smashed into it in his haste to grab it. He sat on the ground with his head in his hands, groaning to himself while Esperanza snickered, the closest he'd ever heard her to laughing. He looked up with a pained smile. At least he'd gotten some sort of reaction out of her... albeit painfully...

He heard something outside the door, and he stole a glance outside into the dark, pitch black street. Esperanza asked in a hushed voice, "What is it?" They quietly stood still, waiting for the noise to come closer. It was a human noise, metal on metal, and they dimmed their lantern until only a dime's worth of light showed through. A light rose like the dawn rays across the street walls, slowly brighter and brighter. Finally, a villager, nervous and jumpy, ran down the street, his lantern clanking. They waited until his light disappeared before brightening their lamp.

"Looks like we've got ourselves a mole," Lavi said. Esperanza stared in the man's direction -

and promptly took off running after him into the dark, leaving her lantern behind. Lavi scrambled to pick up her lantern and follow her, weighed down by his pack of ropes and things along with the two lanterns. He wasn't quite as fast or as reckless as Esperanza, so his pace was a bit slower. By the time he'd caught up with her, she already had the man on the ground with his hands behind his back, pressed against a wall like he was a criminal, which he very well could've been. The man blubbered in a different language, and Esperanza shoved him against the wall roughly.

"Easy, easy... be careful with him, he's one of the villagers," Lavi said. Esperanza glared at him and asked, "So that means the very man who could be selling our lives to the demons you fight should be getting the treatment of an innocent?" The man spoke again, his voice high and reedy as he pleaded in his native tongue. Lavi stood there, trying to decide what to do. Finally, he said, "Let him go, but keep an eye on him. Maybe he understands a word or two of English or Spanish." Esperanza obeyed, and the man promptly fell to his knees, rubbing his wrists painfully. The man looked up at both fearfully.

"What are you doing here?" Lavi asked slowly, and Esperanza repeated the question in Spanish. The man looked between them both, and he bowed his head in fear.

"Come... come talk... talk _demonios. _Black... come _tunel demonios._" Esperanza narrowed her eyes, and she muttered, "He must've wanted to talk to Dominguez's men and those Akuma. I am not surprised that they are still on the mountain. They must be guarding something or someone. I do not know." She roughly shoved the man to his feet and spoke in slow Spanish to the man. The shivering villager nodded hesitantly to Esperanza when she asked, _"Comprendes?" _The man began walking ahead with Esperanza right behind.

"What are you doing?" Lavi asked, lengthening his stride to keep up. She stated, "He is taking us to them. The _demonios._" Lavi nodded. This was dangerous though... still, just being here was dangerous. They could be cornered, trapped, lost... Lavi sighed. He didn't need to start thinking that.

"We don't have enough lamp oil, though. How are we going to make it as far as he's going?" Lavi asked. Esperanza pointed to the man's own personal lantern, and Lavi nodded in understanding.

"It will be a long trek. He has a large lamp. We will be gone longer than we expected." The lantern light flickered across Esperanza's face, and Lavi again had that moment of dejavu, that strange sense that he'd seen her somewhere before but just couldn't remember. Still, he left it alone. If it was going to be as long in walking as Esperanza had said, it was best that they start this journey underground off right. No need to be making the only understandable companion you had angry.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thank you, my dear readers, for your attentiveness towards this story. I am sorry if I scared you off with the whole review thing. I honestly don't mind what sort of review as long as I get a review (be it good or bad - go ahead, say it sucks, I don't really mind as long as you back it up). So far, though this story's in a bit of a slump, and the plot is starting to slow to the speed of molasses. That should change in the next chapter or two.

Thank you all for being such good readers!

No new reviews, favorites, or subscribers. - sad face -


	10. Descubrimiento

Lavi woke up feeling unsettled, and he wasn't sure why. However, it was still very late at night - he could tell because the hole above them allowed the moonlight inside. Still, they had their lamps on just in case, and Lavi was currently sleeping near their prisoner, who was gently bound to prevent him from escaping to who knew where. Esperanza was asleep on the far side of the corridor. Now that they did not have the excuse of sharing a tent, nineteenth century decorum kicked in hard. Despite how chilly it was in the night air underground, Esperanza was adamant that they slept apart, and Lavi had been inclined to agree, only half-heartedly joking that they should sleep next to each other if only for safety in numbers against the ghosts of the ruins. Now, he scanned the dark with his eyes, wondering where she might be. Finally, he caught the light of her lamp, and he sighed.

He scratched his eyebrow, idly trying to remember what had woken him up, when a voice said, "You still haven't figured it out, have you?" Lavi scrambled back as the apparition that had appeared to him in the forest stood right next to him. The little boy was wearing the same outfit - a poncho, standard working clothes, boots, his eye patch, and a small bag. His hair was unkempt, and his eye patch seemed to glare in the dark. Lavi swallowed, trying to think of what to do. After all, it wasn't every day he talked to some sort of hallucination.

"You're a horrible excuse for a Bookman," the boy said, spontaneously appearing behind Lavi this time, and he quickly got up, walking away from the phantasm. Maybe if he ignored it...

"You can't even remember what her tattoo means. That should be more than enough information for you to remember. How could you forget, anyways?" the voice asked, and the boy reappeared in front of Lavi. He changed his direction on a dime, walking quite fast now without any regard of where he was going. The boy appeared at his side instead, saying, "Or, maybe, you just don't want to remember. And why? Oh, yes. Because it would hurt? Bookmen can't hurt, you idiot. Only _you _can." Suddenly, Lavi tripped over something, and he let out a sharp, "OH SH-". He flailed for a few moments, entangling his limbs with someone else's, until finally he was pinned down by two strong legs straddling his chest and a knife to his throat.

_"Quien soy? Eh? Respondeme!"_ Esperanza snarled, and Lavi was pinned by an overwhelming sense of fear he'd never known. For that fraction of a moment, he knew without a doubt that Esperanza would've slit his throat then and there had she not restraint and mercy. And with this knowledge, he also inferred something else. When truly, verily angered... she would be a force of nature, one that could tear and rend apart with ruthlessness. The dejavu he had been experiencing suddenly made sense. Lavi knew why Esperanza looked so familiar.

She had killed hundreds of people, many of them innocents. She may not have done it herself, but she had facilitated and carried out some of those death warrants. One of them was almost Lavi's own.

"Esperanza... it's me," Lavi said quietly. The memory was a crystal clear gem that he could see from every angle and examine without difficulty. For that reason, he had tried very hard not to realize it. Now, it was inescapable. He had to face a truth he did not want to see about his new friend. For a moment, he was afraid that she might slit his throat anyways... but then, the pressure was relieved from his throat, and she climbed off of him.

"I am... sorry, Lavi. You should not sneak up on me like that. I could've killed you," Esperanza said without inflection. As always, she was deathly calm. Lavi sat up, and he looked towards her. Her lantern was farther off, and he realized why he'd tripped on top of her. She'd moved in her sleep away from the lantern, and he hadn't been able to pinpoint her - only her things that were piled near the light. He walked slowly over to her, and he sat down next to her.

"Esperanza, if I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. Suddenly, he found himself slipping off the mask that was Lavi and putting on the one that was Bookman Apprentice. It was easier than he remembered it being these past few months. Perhaps it was because this subject hurt so much, and he could not bear to be so wounded. He had to escape that pain and put it somewhere else. Esperanza didn't answer after a pause, and she said, "All right. Ask me." He turned his head to look at her. She was just barely outlined in the incandescent glow of the lantern, her face in shadow. That made it easier. It dehumanized her and made the question easier to ask.

"Were you a bomber in the _Guerra de los Gatos Montes?_" he asked. He could tell that she had stiffened. The air was dead and still, as if the very air itself was waiting on her answer. The Bookman Apprentice waited patiently for her answer. After several minutes, she whispered, "Yes. I was." He knew that. He had known it the minute he saw her. What sort of person forgets a face that scarred and distinctive? He had been burying the fact because he had begun to like her, but partiality would pull him apart.

"Did you or did you not bomb a hotel named The Ennsdown?" he asked, and Esperanza's answer was pained.

"Yes."

"Why?" There was another pause.

"... I was angry. I was hurt, and I was angry. I was also young," Esperanza said, the inflection leaving her voice. Now it was just a thing that was speaking for her. Like Lavi, she was also putting on a mask, except instead of masking pain and fear, she was masking guilt and shame. There was a period of silence again, this one pregnant rather than dead. There were many things to be said, but neither of them knew how to say it.

"Did you know I was in that hotel?" he asked quietly. "Did you know innocent people were there?" He realized he was becoming too personal by asking if she knew that _he, _not _they _or _people _or _white gentry _or any sort of generalization, but he couldn't stop himself. It just came out of his mouth.

"Did you know that I broke my leg in three places? And that I ended up in the hospital for a week? Did you think about what would happen to those people in the hotel?" he asked, his words gaining venom. Esperanza turned to him, and she quietly stated, "I did know. I wanted to watch you all die. I wanted it to be slow and painful. I wanted you to watch your children burn, your legs crushed, your hands cut open. I wanted many things, _amigo._"

"Why did you do it? Why did you go and hurt people because you hurt?" he asked, putting on his mask again before it could slip off. He couldn't be Lavi in this conversation. Lavi was Esperanza's friend. He was her comforter and her partner in crime, he was her companion, and he... he loved her too much. She had thrown him a birthday party. She had taken good care of him. She had done so many things, and yet at the same time, she had hurt him in so many ways. To him, Lavi and Bookman Apprentice were two different people, but to her they were one and the same. That had to change. He wouldn't be able to face the truth, the one thing he was supposed to do.

_Love is not a victory march. It is cold and it is harsh. It will break you when you least expect it. _

"My father, my... my _real _father... he left my mother to die. He would not claim responsibility for her. He could not accept that he had a child by her and that he had loved her, because it was shameful in the eyes of those who he served and lived with. I... I was grieving. I thought my mother was going to die. I was angry because I had nowhere to go... _Amigo, _this is all the past. I have learned from my mistakes. Why must we bring this up now?" she asked, her voice trembling as she fought for control. The Bookman Apprentice stared into her, as if he could discern all her secrets and all of her iniquities, examine them at his leisure and imagine that she was nothing but another drop of ink on a piece of paper, inconsequential and therefore not worth his sentiment if she squirmed.

"One more," he asked. "Did you bomb a school?" He had watched that one. He had watched from a rooftop as fifteen people, all of them wearing black, dispersed in the rush hour crowd as people came to come and get their children. All of them had been white children, most of them of the poorer aristocrats that couldn't afford a governess. He had seen them surround the school, unobserved and unnoticed, when simultaneously they all threw something over the fences into the schoolyard where children were playing or parents were talking. Only minutes later, the bombs went off and there was nothing but death, ruin, smoke, and the screams of children as they held onto their dead parents or lost their limbs. Parents wailed over small, inert bodies. Teachers wandered listlessly in the smoke, tripping over dead children with looks of far off horror. In the streets, people had screamed, and the black jaguars that had so stealthily sneaked into their midst sneaked right back out.

"Yes."

An image of all the children at the house Esperanza had stopped by came to mind, and the Bookman Apprentice briefly touched on the fact that humans could be so uncaring as long as their ideals were met. He stood up, and he walked away without another word, leaving Esperanza to wallow in her own guilt and freshly overturned hurt. Perhaps she deserved it. Perhaps she didn't. It was not his job to decide. He only collected the information, after all.

"See? All better, right?" the apparition said in the dark where he couldn't see it. The Bookman Apprentice sat down on his bedroll. On the inside, he knew that what he'd just been told bothered him. Lavi was screaming out, knowing that his friend, one he'd shared stories, thoughts, a tent, and at one point a bed, was a murderer of men, women, and children. However, the Bookman Apprentice silenced those screams, muffling them so that they were bearable.

"Yeah. All better."

* * *

><p>Their trek continued without words. The prisoner didn't make a single peep as he lead them, and both Esperanza and Lavi seemed to have suddenly fallen dumb. Their walk through the underground was tense as they scaled up and down ruins and blockages until finally, they came to a very large cavern. Springs bubbled, and it was beginning to get dark. The man whimpered something in garbled Spanish and English. Esperanza finally spoke for the first time that day.<p>

"He wishes to go home. He promises not to return. His child was one of the hostages," Esperanza said in clipped tones, and Lavi only nodded to her. She cut him loose, and the man ran as fast as he could with all of the supplies he could carry back towards town. The two looked at each other. Once more, there was no buffer between them. Esperanza had noted the change in Lavi's behavior, and he had noted the sudden distance she'd put between them both. Still, it felt as if their very edges were rubbing together, becoming too close for comfort even in the short time it took for their third companion to leave.

"We should probably take a bath in the springs," Esperanza said. Lavi recognized the tactic. She wanted to get as far from him as possible. That was fine by him. It made things easier. Esperanza set down a lamp, and she said, "There's enough light from the hole in the ceiling that you can bathe without a lantern. I'll live this here so we know where to go to find each other."

"And if the Akuma come after us while we're taking a bath?" Lavi asked with a quirked eyebrow, slightly amused. Esperanza rolled her eyes.

"You really think they're down here? They're above ground. This cavern can't go far. We're near enough to the surface that light comes in very bright. We are close to the exit," she said. She put down her things, only rummaging for her clothes before taking off for the gurgling sounds of the springs. On the other side, there were more pools, and Lavi hesitantly began to wander towards them. He'd stripped down to nothing and gotten into the water when he suddenly realized he felt odd. The water was incredibly warm, almost scalding, and the dirt, grime, and wear of travel seemed to just slip off of him. As he relaxed, he reviewed all that had happened in the past few weeks. Everything was so... so topsy-turvy. He wasn't sure how he felt, but that was nothing new. However, there was a curious numbness in place of his confusion. He didn't really care if he couldn't make heads nor tails of how he felt about any of the people with whom he'd traveled.

_All better now._ The phrase rung in his head, and he slipped deeper into the water. He was either regressing or moving forward. He didn't know which. Before he knew it, though, he was slipping into another memory, as bright and crystal clear as the day it was made

_and the day was fine, beautiful. Or at least, it had been. It was night time now. The hotel was a nice respite, but a Bookman could work anywhere with whatever he had, and it wouldn't affect him any different. That didn't stop him from thinking this was a nice place to stay while the War of the Wildcats continued. The papers had kept it quiet, and the government had kept it covered up as much as possible in order to keep up the city's morale, saying the bombings were actually faulty gas lines. Still, they knew the truth. Unruly, hurt, angry, frustrated migrant workers were lobbing bombs into white businesses and hotspots. There was no doubt of their target. He walked towards the window, looking out over Buenos Aires, or what he could see of it. However, as he admired the skyline, he noticed five to ten people running towards the building. In hindsight, he realized he'd been stupid not to have figured it out, but he had been young and was not yet seasoned enough to see danger where it lurked. Now, danger was at their doorstep. It was only when he saw the flash of a flame that he began to worry. "Jiji, some people are lighting something down there. I don't know what they-" _

Lavi was jarred out of the memory by the sound of footsteps scraping rock. He quickly got out, drying himself as best he could with his dirty clothes before dressing in a new set. He picked up his hammer, suddenly suspicious. Any of the humor he'd had left in him was gone. That was either Esperanza walking somewhere in the cave, which was likely but, knowing her and her bathroom habits_, _scant, or there were people here, and in either case Lavi would've had to put on some clothes anyways. He definitely didn't want to be surprised while in his birthday suit.

The redhead carefully looked around. There wasn't much to see - it was getting dark. Clouds must have been gathering overhead, because the light was suddenly dimmed. He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all. Kanda may be able to fight in the dark (he knew that for a fact - he'd had his butt handed to him when he woke him up without warning in a dark room)_,_ but Lavi was most definitely better at fighting when he could actually _see _his opponent. He heard a few grunts as well as the sound of something smacking flesh, and he hurried towards the noise. He stopped at the lantern that Esperanza had placed in the room as their sort of guide point to find each other, and in the darkness he could see someone approaching. The silhouette wasn't very tall, and he couldn't see much of their figure...

Esperanza stepped into the pool of light, wearing everything she had brought with her but a shirt. She was dragging behind her two unconscious men.

"There is one more. They startled me. I think there are more out in the cave, but they haven't found us yet," Esperanza said, dumping the two. Lavi stared at them both. There were no marks other than round bruises around their faces and necks. At least she'd taken them out without stabbing them. Lavi looked back over at Esperanza, and he blinked as he noticed that blood was slowly blossoming on her pants, trickling down her leg.

"Hey, you're injured," he said suddenly, kneeling down to get a better look. Esperanza was probably more surprised than he was, but she quickly said, "Uh, _amigo_, I'm not -" Lavi stopped a moment, and he looked up at her from his position at her feet. She looked sheepish, and Lavi realized-

"Oh." Of course. She was a woman, and woman did that... that thing every once a month where they turned into monsters that would eat anyone with a Y chromosome. Except... Esperanza hadn't shown _any _signs. That was particularly odd, considering he was used to the whole... scary woman type thing. Even Lenalee got a little testy, though she was still pleasant as ever, and Miranda just seemed to swing between deep depression and absolute euphoria. And Klaud... Lavi suppressed a shudder. He didn't even want to think about that. He'd gone on one mission with her. Nice lady, but definitely not a person to make enemies with. She wasn't a general for nothing. And a pissed off general with PMS and a weapon...

"_Amigo, _you can get up now," Esperanza said in a slightly amused tone of voice, "unless you want me to bleed all over you. I need to change. And these were my last pair of pants, too..." Lavi quickly stood up, embarrassed. He hadn't... hadn't meant to...

"The thought was nice, _amigo,_" Esperanza said in passing as she walked into the darkness to change clothes. Lavi rolled his eyes - and then slowly thought about what he'd just done. He hadn't been thinking at all. He'd quickly just... kind of jumped to helping her, despite the fact she wasn't injured.

It was something he definitely would not have done two years ago. The Bookman habits were being broken, and he was suddenly afraid. He thought he'd fixed it. Never mind that, though. It was a small instance. He'd do better next time. He stood up, surveying what little he could see by the light of the lantern. He noticed figures moving in the dark, and then he heard the sound of a body dropping. It had come from Esperanza's direction, and Lavi thought nothing of it. She'd probably went and got the drop on another poor, unlucky guy.

There was the noise of pebbles being sprayed into water, and Lavi whipped his head around to follow the noise. There were shouts in Spanish, all from Esperanza's direction, and he realized that, perhaps instead of Esperanza getting the drop on some man, some man had gotten the drop on _her. _Just as that thought entered his head, something was launched his way. He didn't even have time to react as something heavy and hard hit him in the head dead on. He staggered backwards a few paces, confused and dazed as he tried to blink away the scramble of thoughts that ran around. Blood trickled into his eyes, and he wiped it off with a fuzzy glance. His balance was suddenly off, and he fell over. Blood poured out over his face as his heart beat faster, suddenly anxious and paranoid.

Just like that, he suddenly went out like a light. The last thing to go was his hearing. The final words he remembered before he completely blacked out were, "Kill her, keep him. He knows things."

* * *

><p>Darrin watched as the sun slowly made it's way down from its zenith. High noon had come and gone, and now it was on its downward course towards the west. Clouds had momentarily come by, and for a moment or so it looked like it'd storm, but they never managed to clump that big. Darren patted his donkey affectionately as he stared up at the small, puffy clouds that looked like freshly picked cotton. He narrowed his eyes, squinting in the bright light as he stared at the sky.<p>

"You've been waiting for hours," a voice said in another language from behind him, and he turned to glance over his shoulder. The old leader of the village stood behind him, a hulking tower next to a stump. Darrin shrugged, standing there near the mouth of the cavern. It'd been nearly two days. They had only enough supplies for a few hours. A man had come up from the shaft, sobbing and scared with limited oil and a small portion of food. He tried to speak, but he was too dehydrated and confused to say much of import. They were still trying to get his story out of him.

"Have you eaten?" the man asked, and Darrin shrugged again. The town leader looked Darrin over. He had always been gaunt and skinny, with a waxy complexion and that definitive, long nose. Now, he looked even smaller with the fatigue of sitting there, waiting patiently for his two traveling companions to come out of the ground. The man pulled out a long loaf of bread from a bag at his side. He'd guessed that the man had been sitting here for a while. He handed it to Darrin, and he took it without protest.

"I'm thinkin' 'bout goin' in after 'em. At this rate, they ain't comin' out. I don't got much choice, do I, Rico?" Darrin asked, his voice a dull growl as he stared into the blackness of the shaft. Little light shone down into it, and yet it seemed to almost glow. Rico frowned as he stared at the hole, the sound of children ringing in his head as they played behind them in the woods.

"Why do you go after them?" Rico asked. He had known Darrin for quite a while. They'd met several times when Rico had stayed in the Guide's Moving Village when money got tight. This was the first time Darrin had come to his village, though. In the time he'd known Darrin, he'd noticed that the man was usually pretty isolated. He liked his privacy and distance with people, and the few friends he had were far between and very close to him. Many were fighting the war in America, on one or the other side. They were guides just like him, and Rico had only ever heard of them before. However, he had watched that sort of friendship work between Darrin and his companions. At the least it was... surprising.

"Shoot, they owe me four hundred pesos and two cases a' whiskey," he said with a crooked smile, his rotten tooth gone, no doubt spat out at an earlier date. He waved to Rico lazily, and he said, "I'll buy them supplies off a' ya, and then I'll get a move on down there, see what I kin find. I'll come back in three days. If we ain't done by then, we's all dead as doornails anyhow." Rico smiled as the man walked away.

Something told him it was more than just the four hundred pesos and cases of whiskey that were drawing old, cantankerous Darrin into that hole in the ground away from the light, air, and his ever present donkey.

"Go get them, Mountain Man. Go get them."

* * *

><p>First, he got his hearing back. He knew he'd heard voices, all of them chattering in the background. His sense of touch came back soon after, followed by the sensation of cracking blood as he frowned, his brow furrowing and breaking the crust of blood on his face. His sight was slowly restored, and he could make out blurry shapes. The iron taste of blood slowly insinuated itself into the rest of the information being relayed to his brain, and he finally smelled the blood on his clothes. He also noted the pain his shoulders, wrists, and ankles, seeing as he was tied in a rather uncomfortable position to a chair with his hands behind his back and his ankles to the legs of the chair. His first thought ran towards humor, wondering idly, <em>I don't remember Esperanza being into bondage...<em>

As his mind took a more serious turn, he figured that he'd been injured. He didn't remember how, but from the blood on his face he figured that a head wound must've been the culprit, which meant that he couldn't remember because of retrograde amnesia (which was fine by him - it meant that his body was the perpetrator on his memory, not himself). He took in his surroundings carefully, noting each scrap of detail. The tent was canvas, and it had two tables and a large, winged chair. No doubt, that was either for Dominguez or for Lulu Bell. He must be inside some sort of office tent. However, the ground was dirt, and the air was clear. All right, he was above ground. He wasn't surprised to find that Esperanza wasn't there, seeing as she was resourceful enough that if they'd been put in the same room, they would've no doubt have gotten out with their combined desperation and ingenuity.

Suddenly, Lavi heard the sound of a firing gun, and an icy ball clumped in his stomach. A sick feeling overtook him as he realized that, perhaps, they had not even bothered with keeping her separate. Perhaps they had only wanted her dead. He himself, however, was a different story all together. A Bookman knew information, important information, and to be in the hands of an enemy who knew that they had a treasury of knowledge on their opponent...

Bookman had only ever touched on this subject lightly. He had given Lavi the basics: don't talk, don't stare them in the eye, don't give anything away. However, he hadn't given him the _techniques _of going about these simple rules. Lavi had heard rumors from other apprentices during their brief stays with one another that sometimes Bookmen came back missing limbs, parts, pieces. Especially the ones who weren't careful. Lavi halted his thinking. The more he started dwelling on it, the harder it would be to conquer his panic. He had to find a way out, first. Right! First things first - get out of the chair. Second, get the hell out of Dodge. Third, try to find out where he was in the first place. Wait, wait, wait, maybe the second step should go before the third, but his main priority was to get away, yet he wanted to also stay alive and figure out a way back...

As he was wrapped up in his escape plan and the order it was supposed to go, Lulu walked in with a small man carrying a rather large case that was half as tall as he was. Lulu sat in the winged chair, and Lavi finally noted her. He looked up and momentarily sat there, still, as he stared into Esperanza's face. She had assumed her form... but for what purpose? She smiled fully, a predatory grin, and any doubts Lavi had about his partner being who she really was dissipated like smoke. Esperanza hardly ever smiled, and if she did ever smile, it wouldn't be the grin that was on Lulu's, or rather Esperanza's, face.

"What, are you shocked? I thought I'd take on a form you were more comfortable with. After all, I'm here to negotiate, not fight," Lulu said in suave tones. The voice was so disproportionate from the face that Lavi's brain had a hard time keeping up. He licked his lips before saying, "Negotiate?" They both knew that wasn't an option.

"Yes," Lulu repeated, "Negotiate." She waved to the little man, and the trim human bustled towards the table with his giant case. He hauled it up with a massive _THUNK _before opening it with a flick of the catches.

"Now, you do realize there are different types of _negotiation, _I'm sure, and that is why I'm offering you a choice." The trim little man with the curled mustache and bowler hat removed a rather large knife from the case.

"It's quite simple, really." Another knife, this one a serrated, shiny instrument of death, was laid next to the first with loving care.

"You can help us. Tell us whatever we want to know that's relevant." This time, a small mace that looked like a meat tenderizer was placed next to the knife. In fact it _was _a meat tenderizer that the man had loaned from the cook. Bits of meat were still stuck to it.

"Of course, you're going to do that anyways." The man removed a large pair of bolt cutters. Lulu waved her hand in a 'no' signal, and the man put it back.

"You just get to choose just what way you want to give up that information." The man pulled out a pointed chisel and a hammer. He held them up for Lulu to see with a look of inquiry. She nodded, and he placed the both next to the meat tenderizer.

"You can either tell us willingly with little trouble, or..." The little man clinically rummaged through his case before pulling out an entire belt of very, very small, no doubt razor-sharp, knives. He placed them across the table, the ends hanging off where Lavi could see the glint of a knife smile at him.

"You can go the hard route, and Mr. Naso will convince you on harsher terms." Three men entered the tent with a rack between them, and Mr. Naso directed them behind Lavi. Mr. Naso pulled out one last instrument, a piece of piano wire. Lavi forced down terror and the overwhelming desire to open his mouth and spew forth whatever information she wanted. He would not plead. He would not beg. At least... he didn't think he would do either. He swallowed, and he said, "Well, I only have a few words for you, then." Esperanza's eyebrow lifted in bemusement, and the familiar action sent a pang through Lavi that was hollow and unfamiliar. To see such an expression that had spoken volumes on one woman's face transferred to another's with so little thought as to its use...

"So, what'll it be?"

Lavi thought hard for a moment.

"Go screw yourself."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Aaaah, now we're finally getting to the plot. I have found it yet again! I'm sorry for the overload of angst and fluff - I know that can choke out a story. But please bear with me! Assure this is going somewhere.

Thanks again to Ella Unlimited, who submitted a fantastic review!... Wait, was that last chapter? ... Oh dear, I don't remember...

I hope you all enjoyed this story, and I should be posting again soon.

-Dr. Yok


	11. Romper Un Hombre

They stood her next to the waterfall. The cliff was slick and cold, water splashing onto her skin. She didn't think her life would end this way, but then again, most people didn't know how their life would end in the first place. She'd always thought she'd be shot in some bar or cut down by an Akuma she'd tackled. This hadn't been what she'd had in mind.

Execution could be so shameful.

They'd stripped her of everything except for her bra, underwear, and her rosary. She'd pleaded to keep it on the grounds of honorable custom. If there was anything these men could identify with, it was a need to be close to their God, in spite of their actions. Of course, that wasn't the _only _reason she wanted to keep the rosary; she knew that Noah could destroy Innocence, and she'd literally die before they would destroy it. It would be too late by the time anyone realized that she'd kept it with her.

The cold, mountain wind scoured her skin red. She sniffled, already having cried as she realized how many people she was going to lose. She was standing resolute now, however. She was resigned to her fate.

They'd dragged Lavi off already, and she'd watched them haul a torture rack towards his tent as she was led to her execution site. She could only pray that God was merciful to him and minimized his pain, perhaps even kill him out of pity. She had no doubts that they would not be gentle in their interrogation, and there was nothing she could do to help. She heard the quiet footsteps of small feet, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw small children at the edge of the cliff. They were here to watch... and perhaps to learn. To learn what happened when you defied your drug lord and the master of the land. What happens when one defies 'God's will'. Esperanza stood straight ahead out over the trees. She could barely make out the horizon of the desert on which she'd been born and raised. It was such a sad thought to realize that she would not die there, as well. Instead, she was to be killed on a strange mountain at the hands of men she did not know while her family carried on without her as if she had never existed.

_"Cuando doy la orden, quiero disparar." _The man's voice was oddly hushed by the multitude of trees and the rush of the waterfall. Esperanza was stolid as she stared out into the distance, imagining in her mind's eye her family. All ten children, grinning and smiling at her when she arrived every month, her father beaming at her proud, but not arrogant, countenance, her mother finally well and waving.

_"Tres."_ The birds seemed to have fallen silent. The children did not chatter.

_"Dos."_ The water was the only sound, and Esperanza bid her body to relax as she looked up at the sky. Under her breath she muttered, "_Aunque ande en la valle de sombra de muerte, no temere mal alguno, porque tu-"_

_"Uno. Fuego!" _

The shots rang out into the still air, and the birds briefly alighted into the air. She wasn't even aware of the pain as bright red blossoms arced from her back. Esperanza saw the sky flip, and suddenly the world was backwards, with the sky below and the ground above. The roaring sound of the waterfall greeted her, and for a brief, optimistic moment Esperanza had the hope that perhaps she would land in the water instead of on the rocks below.

Her hopes were in vain.

* * *

><p>Darrin watched from a ridge, horrified. He could see the crowd of children as a blur of black and brown, and the men with their guns looked like the tin figurines he'd played with when he was a child. A woman, naked to the wind and water, stood like a statue at the edge of the cliff, as close to the waterfall as they ever dared go. He knew what came next, and he ran into the forest. He'd only gotten so far before he heard the crack of ten muskets going off. He didn't wait for the sound of a body hitting the bottom of the cliffs, and he trekked on through the forest.<p>

The source of the river, as he'd already known, was set in a bowl of sorts near the top of the mountain. Already, a chill had settled over his bones as he wandered around the forest, following tracks. His old joints groaned in protest at the sudden bursts of energy he exerted over them, but he knew that he would need to get as close to the camp as he could if he wanted to be of any help. It was all about what he knew...

He knew that Esperanza was beyond saving. He knew they'd probably kept Lavi alive, or else they'd have executed him along with Esperanza. He knew they dare not stay too close to the lake - they were superstitious folk, after all, and being on the mountain was giving them enough jitters as it was. What they were doing up so far, anyways, was beyond him. He suddenly came to the edge of a tree line, and he stared at the lake with awe.

The lake level was so low. He could see the water line from previous years, and the current lake level was several hundred feet below the highest mark. Masses of strange creatures were diving into the water and then jumping back out. There were teams of them, taking turns. It looked like they were being driven in gang systems, with one of the monsters ordering around groups of the others. He crouched behind a tree as he watched them, and finally he moved on. The water fall had been connected to the lake, and it was rushing because of the suddenly influx of water that had been realized from the lake. It must've been dammed up long ago by some force, and now they'd let go the water again into the river.

Darrin finally reached the camp, after circumnavigating the lake and finding a proper trail that looked like it'd been used recently. It took him an entire three hours, but he managed to get to the outskirts. It looked as if the camp was only two or three miles from the lake, but it wasn't far from the water fall, where the river finally started as it pounded down the rocks. The camp itself probably only had fifty to seventy people within it, all of them male and all of them young thugs who were probably headed by older, grizzled mentors. He knew that at the highest point would be the head honcho's tent because he would be able to keep watch on everyone. It put them at a strategic disadvantage, but then again they hadn't expected anyone to journey up the mountain anyways.

Realizing that he could be followed, Darrin quietly crept away. He'd need some help first. And of course, he'd need to bury Esperanza before the sun went down and something went and ate her body. She was a good woman and deserved a proper funeral.

With this sobering thought, he started to head back towards the cave as the sun dipped into the horizon.

* * *

><p>"Could you please repeat that?" Lulu's voice fazed in and out. It sounded as if someone were muffling his ears with cotton. His breath was ragged and quick. His eyes were shut tight while Lulu walked around him, inspecting him. She suddenly kicked him in the side, his entire body smashing into the side of the rack and settling back towards the center again as he cried out.<p>

"I couldn't hear you, I apologize," Lulu stated in a ladylike manner as she folded her hands behind her, looking towards the back of the tent. That poor piece of meat lashed to the rack continued to breath heavily, and she looked towards Mr. Naso. The small man was wearing his butcher's apron, and he was splattered here and there, but not too much. Mr. Naso was very good at keeping his subjects alive, and subjects needed blood to live. His MO was that he usually did not leave any blood at all, but the mistress had wanted her subject to bleed out a little in order to weaken him. However, Mr. Naso was finding the redheaded man very resilient, despite their best efforts. He'd only screamed three times in the past four hours, a feat worth respect. He hadn't breathed a word about any of the questions Ms. Bell had asked, and he found that astonishing. A man like him should be either dead, babbling, or at least sobbing with pain.

"Mr. Naso, I think we need to up the ante a little bit. Bring me one of the children, please," Lulu said, and finally the redheaded man looked up. Mr. Naso watched as his breathing quickened from fast gasps to straight hyperventilation. However, Lulu's request was interrupted by a man walking into the tent with another ten behind.

"Miss, here is what you wanted. All of her things, like you asked," the man said. Lulu lifted an eyebrow, and she stared at the clothes. Lulu changed shape, reverting back to her default form. The man jerked back, but he was only startled. He'd seen her do it before, and it was a strange thing to see her melt from one form to another. She took the clothes, and she frowned. The man felt a bead of sweat run down his face into his dark mustache. Lulu Bell looked up, her eyes flashing with an emotion that none of the men could place. However, it scared them.

"Are you sure you took everything? Why is this coming to me so late?" she asked. The man stood still for a moment, trying to form an answer. He finally said, "Some men, uh, were passing the clothes around. It took us a few minutes to round up all of the pieces." She threw the clothes at him, and she snarled, "You've _missed _something. Are you _sure you took everything?_" The man looked indecisive before saying, "We... left her the rosary."

Lulu was quiet. She finally asked sweetly, "Who told her to keep the rosary?" One of the man slowly raised his hand.

"Custom, _senorita. _She going to die, so why not? Let her have God with her," the man said, shrugging. Lulu nodded, walking over towards the table full of implements. She suddenly flicked a flechette knife at the man, and it nailed him through the eye. The man gasped for a moment before suddenly collapsing. The rest of the contingency screamed or backed away in surprise as he fell on a man loosely, causing the unfortunate person to fling off the newly dead corpse to the ground.

"I want you, _all _of you, to go and find me her body," Lulu said, lifting up another knife, letting it glimmer in the lamp light. The men looked at each other before beginning to file out. They didn't even bother to complain that it was almost dusk and that it was freezing. No one wanted to end up like the man on the ground.

"And take him with you," Lulu said, waving casually towards the corpse in a dismissive fashion. Some of them hastily dragged out the body of their compatriot, shooting murderous glances towards the woman who had so nonchalantly murdered their friend. When the room was empty, Lulu looked back to Lavi.

"The children, Miss?" Mr. Naso said, and Lulu Bell thought for a moment.

"Not right now. We'll save that for last. Start on him with flechette knives. Fingernails first."

* * *

><p>He was sure that he'd crack. Lavi couldn't take much more. She'd asked him several questions already, ranging from the actual size of the Order to how many pieces of Innocence had already been recovered to the locations of every existing Exorcist currently on the planet. He'd kept everything mum, and he'd tried so hard to keep his head down and mouth shut. The pain was unbearable. His fingernails were sliced open, and a few were missing. He was sure he'd broken several ribs. They'd carved small lines into his back, only enough to cause pain. They'd rubbed salt into all of the open wounds, and he was using everything he had in him not to scream.<p>

"How many Exorcists do you have?" Lulu asked, reclining in her chair. She crossed her legs, as languid as a contented feline. Lavi stared at the ground. He looked up at her, finally. What more could she do to him? He suddenly began to laugh. The laugh rolled out of him like pebbles out of a bag, tumbling over and over itself and rushing until it was a full blown, maniacal hysteria that streaked the air. Lulu's face suddenly went from indifferent to stony. She nodded to Naso, and he grabbed one of Lavi's feet.

There was a blinding pain, and Lavi sucked in a breath. It was like nothing he'd felt before, a piercing agony. Another lance of pain raced up his foot into his leg, and then another. He shook like a leaf, the pain amounting to a fever pitch the closer it got to the arch of his foot. He dare not look behind him to see what the little man with the bowler was doing to his feet. It might break him.

"Enough. Stop there," Lulu said. Mr. Naso obliged. Lulu walked around Lavi, inspecting him as a scientist examines an interesting, new specimen. She leaned down and jerked his face up to meet hers, their eyes locking. She could see the answers. They lie there behind that one green eye, inside that fantastic brain of his, and she could only reach it through cracking and shearing away the shell that surrounded his innermost secrets. She used a finger to trace the line of his jaw, one of the few unbruised parts of him. She pursed her lips as if in disappointment, and she asked, "Can't we get along here? I don't want much." However, there was a trace, a vein, of something within Lavi that she could almost feel through her fingertips. It was like the metal band around a barrel that kept it together - a strong, iron will that refused to bend or break. It would take much, much more to shatter him without shattering his mind in the process. As Lavi continued to stare back with such intensity as to rival the sun's rays, she sneered before smiling.

"I can do much worse." Lavi knew that. He knew that well, but he wasn't willing to contemplate it. He didn't bother to speak. "Are you sure you want to go on? We can stop." Lavi remained tight lipped. He wouldn't budge. He'd thought he couldn't handle it, but he was wrong. She'd asked to destroy the lives of his friends, the closest thing he had to family, and the Bookman in him was resolute in keeping his secrets. He would not falter. The apparition, throughout the ordeal, had only briefly appeared once, mocking him with a smile, yet at the same time looking infinitely sad and defeated. For some reason, that had allowed Lavi to hang on just a bit longer. What more could she do...?

Lulu Bell straightened from her bent position. She tugged on her suit's coat, and she sat back in the chair. He was proving harder than most. They'd already carved words into his back, and they'd put needles into his legs. His foot was probably mangled beyond repair, at least without any attention, and his entire body was mottled with bruises that were turning blue, black, green, and purple. If they continued on, there wouldn't be much left of him. She didn't want to break any more of his bones - they didn't have any antibiotics and they were running the risk of deep infection with his foot and ribs. Suddenly, she was struck with an idea.

She looked to Naso with a dark look. "Go get me a brazier of coals, if you would, Mr. Naso." Lavi didn't even bother to look up. It would be another trial to go through, but he'd make it.

He had to keep telling himself that. He'd make it... he'd make it...

* * *

><p>Darrin came back with two villagers. He'd had to convince the town elders to take a contingency to the settlement in order to get the children. It'd been hard work, and Darrin had thought he'd lose his mind waiting, much less his hair considering he was pulling on it so much. Lavi... no doubt the boy was probably nothing more than a mass of hamburger meat. There wouldn't be anything left of him to bury. He had no doubt that they'd be able to save the hostages, but it'd be risky and it was very likely that someone was going to die in the process, be it child, villager, or he himself.<p>

As he crept towards the camp, he felt his stomach twist in knots. He hadn't done anything this dangerous since he decided to take on that panther with bacon grease and a frying pan. No doubt, there would be creatures guarding the perimeter, and some villagers against those monsters sounded like a snowball's chance in hell. Still, they had to try. They were armed with guns, clubs, and whatever else was on hand, including one tea kettle. It wouldn't be too much help, but anything was better than nothing. He scratched his beard as he stared into the camp.

"What now?" one of the villagers asked. Darrin realized he was at a loss. He hadn't planned this far. First things first - find the children. Second - rescue the boy if he was still alive, though chances were that educated feller was no longer among the land of the living. The best thing to do was get one of the sentries and interrogate him. Darrin managed to grab one of them, silently clocking him over the head before dragging him away cursing. Of course, this in turn attracted the other sentries, who they had to clock and drag, too...

Soon they had five of the seventeen sentries on the ground, all knocked out cold.

"Damn, we only needed one," Darrin muttered as he rubbed his chin, trying to figure out what to do. It was hard to interrogate a person who was out like a light. Another sentry came, discovering them, and before they could call out, another villager clocked him over the head with his tea kettle. The man blinked in surprise before finally falling to the ground. Darrin sighed. This wasn't working. They'd notice that their sentries were missing soon, and then they'd be nowhere again.

One of the villagers whispered, "Hey, this one's moving." He pointed to the first man they'd knocked unconscious. He woke up, finding himself gagged and tied with a handkerchief, and he immediately tried to run, but the old man tripped him before he could go anywhere.

After some interrogation that involved a few threats to certain parts of the male anatomy and a rather rusty looking kitchen knife, the man told them where the children were.

"Follow the red tents... they're in the old blue tent with the gold lines," the man said, staring at the knife rather worriedly. The man wielding it looked a little too anxious to use it.

"Much obliged," Darrin said, using the tea kettle once more to induce a bit of sleep on the man. He stared at the metal implement as the man fell over, nodding appreciatively.

"I should use this thing more often. It ain't half bad," Darrin said. The villagers tied all of the men together, stealing their clothes as well just to embarrass them when they woke up.

"Now that's just wrong," Darrin snickered. The villagers grinned in the moonlight, shrugging to each other in agreement as they started to put on the clothes of the sentries. They pulled hats over their faces, and Darrin made sure to darken his skin with dirt in order to blend in better. It was dark, and no one would think much of two more men who just waltzed in wearing the clothes of thugs. Darrin himself didn't fit in any of the other guys' clothes, so he had to go in with what he was wearing, but he trusted the indifference of young men enough to trust his 'disguise.'

As they walked, they attempted a looseness that would throw off any suspicion that they weren't supposed to be there. As they headed towards the tent, however, they were stopped by several men who stared at them and asked, "What are you doing off post? Don't you have sentry duty tonight?" Luckily, Darrin's two villagers, Pedro and Ignacio, spoke Spanish fluently, and one answered, "Nah, switched out with someone else. I had to pay him off, though, but it's worth it." The men shrugged to each other, agreeing with their logic. They got past them, saying good night congenially.

"That was too close," Darrin muttered. The other two nodded quietly with sobered looks. They had all been sweating under their clothes, dripping down over their sides and back. First, Darrin attempted to find Lavi, but asking about a prisoner would be too suspicious. He figured he'd be in the head honcho's tent, but they wouldn't bother to torture someone in the living quarters... Darrin didn't dare go off on his own, though. With a group, he'd blend in, but by himself he'd be caught. He stayed with the two he had with him, and decided that if they made it out with the kids, he'd go back in himself to find the man who'd hired him up the mountain. They finally got to the tent, which was guarded by another two men playing cards. They looked up idly, and then went back to their game. It was none of their concern. They were just there to make sure the children stayed in, not that people stayed out.

Ignacio and Pedro walked in with dark looks. It was pitch black in the tent, and the children were huddled together for warmth. It smelled disgusting, and it looked as if they'd only been given buckets as toilets for the past couple of weeks. They were dirty and hungry, and at the sight of the men they cringed, shrinking as small as they could make themselves. The older girls hovered in front of the younger children defensively, though they themselves trembled. Ignacio immediately recognized his daughter, and he picked her up in a hug. The young girl almost screamed, but upon smelling her father's familiar scent, she gave him a look of disbelief before returning the hug. Pedro searched for his son, but he didn't find him in the group. Darrin could see the empathy in Ignacio's face as Pedro suddenly bit his lip. It was all too likely that some of the kids had died in the fetid, disgusting tent from disease or some other such reason.

Pedro left, said something gruffly to the men, and then walked back into the tent.

"I told them I'm taking them to the woods for a bath in the stream near here. He said that's fine as long as I keep an eye on them. We'll need to bind them together," Ignacio said in his native tongue, and they quickly set to work. Before long, they were headed out of the camp with the children in tow, and they reached the perimeter of the camp before -

"Hey! Bastards!" The men turned as shots went off, and a child screamed as one of their number was hit in the leg, a bullet going awry. The sentries who had been stripped of their clothes had managed to escape their bonds, and there were several Akuma following close behind. Darrin didn't have to tell them to run after that. Pedro picked up the injured child, Ignacio led the pack, and Darrin kept off the men with his shot gun as well as he could while running. He even managed to save himself with his tea kettle, using it as a shield. A bullet pinged off of it, and he cackled as the men raced to catch up.

The two villagers managed to escape, but Darrin was caught by the sentries. He struggled as they began to carry him off, and he grumbled as he went, hiding his panic. That hadn't gone exactly as he'd planned...

* * *

><p>The men from the camp looked around aimlessly at the bottom of the cliffs. Lulu had sent them here to find the body, but they hadn't been able to find it anywhere. They'd even thrown a piece of rope over the exact spot where they'd shot her, and there was no body left at the bottom underneath the swinging twine. The men chatted amongst themselves worriedly. This wasn't good. Lulu wouldn't be happy, and if Lulu wasn't happy, someone was going to end up dead, just like poor, poor Antonio.<p>

"A body doesn't just walk off," one of the men muttered.

"You think it fell into the river?" another asked, staring into the rambling, roaring depths of the newly born pool that had long been dry. They all stared at the pounding waters. If she'd been dumped into the river afterwards, that meant that they'd never find the body, and that they'd _all _be dead before sunrise.

"You think we can give her a metal crucifix and just tell her it was hers?" one of the men asked, and they all glared.

"She isn't human, idiot. She'll know the minute she touches it," one of the older men stated, wandering into the undergrowth. They all spread out, hoping to find at least the carcass of her body somewhere.

Suddenly, there was a short scream that was abruptly cut off. Birds fluttered away against the firmament, disturbed by the noise. Everyone suddenly went on edge. There was something utterly eerie about this.

"We killed her, right?" a young man asked his partner. The other nodded, looking around.

"You don't think... her vengeful soul isn't at rest, do you? That she'd decide to kill is in revenge in order to pass on?" he asked, his voice a low hush of fear and paranoia. The other man licked his lips. This was a cursed mountain. Anything could happen. They'd stripped that woman of her clothes, beaten her a bit, and killed her. It was all too likely her soul still roamed the earth, thirsting for the blood of those that had killed her. Another cut off scream rang out, and the air stilled to nothing.

"She's taking us one by one," the young man realized. Suddenly, his partner let out a choked sound of fright, but frighteningly hauled off before he could say more. The young man was alone. He removed his gun from it's holster, pulling back the hammer with an audible click. He looked around, feeling as if he were suffocating in the dark. The others... where were they? Had they fled already, not bothering with him? Was he going to die here.

Suddenly, he saw her in the moonlight next to the banks of the river. She was an ethereal form, with all those scars. Her black hair trailed down to her waist, and she merely stood there, gazing into the water of the river. She was half-dressed, and her dark skin seemed almost white under the light of the moon. The young man trembled as he stepped back as far into the woods as he could, hoping to God that he wasn't seen by the ghostly thing that stood at the edge of the waterfall's pool. Her body was completely matted with blood and bruises. He thought he could see bones jut out in some places, pale white under the moonlight, but he was too far to see. His breathing hiked up as she began to turn around. Finally, she began to walk towards the path up the cliffs, and the young man knew where she was headed next.

He had to warn the camp. They had to know. He had to find a different way up the cliffs, though. There had to be another way up the cliffs without using the main path, the one the specter had used. He spied the rope, and an idea came to him as if through lightning...

* * *

><p>Screams echoed out from the tent like knives that sheared through the night. Men winced in their cots as they heard the sound of sizzling skin. Suddenly, there was the sound of pleading, sad, sad noises of pain.<p>

"Stop... please stop... please..." The stricken voice was choked with tears and agony. His breathing shivered, and he looked up into the eyes of an old friend. He gave the smallest of smiles as Darrin was sat in front of Lavi. Darrin's face was one contorted into features of disbelief and horror. Lavi, however, was so happy to see something familiar, something tied to something so good as to be normal, to see...

"Lavi, you have to let go," the apparition stated. Lavi looked to his right at the boy standing next to him. Lavi's breathing was ragged.

"What're ya gonna do t'me?" Darrin asked.

"You know you have to," the apparition stated. "It's the only way to survive. You're not strong enough. Only I am."

"Oh, that's easy. We actually have a use for you. How long you think you can hold your breath?" Lulu said, her voice slipping in and out again. Lavi swallowed, staring at the apparition with a look of childish confusion. The apparition shook his head.

"Why do I bother? You're so blinded by pain, you can't understand what I'm saying," the phantasm sighed, and Lavi tilted his head as his brain caught up with the words.

"Wait...yeas I... I can..."

"What would ya have me do?" Darrin asked.

"Just a little test. Nothing major."

"You can't do this as you. You have to let me take over."

"What's this yer talkin' bout? Gonna put me in the lake to swim with the fish? Ha, like at'll kill me."

"You'd be surprised."

The hiss of something hot against skin. The sound of pain that was far away.

"Stop... please, stop... _please, just stop it!"_

"Lavi, switch over-"

"What in the hell've you done to him-?"

"Like you've never seen-"

"Lavi, switch or-"

"Ya'll goin' ta hell-"

"I think I'd like it there-"

"No... just... quit, I'll... _quit, don't... don't, please... I-I... just c-c_-"

"Damn it all, _listen to me-_"

Another hiss, biting into his back, beginning to crack his mind, beginning to mumble-

"Hm, it looks like he's finally saying something-"

"You ain't gettin' away with this-"

**_"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP."_**

"SWITCH!"

"Finally-"

Lavi gave up and retreated as far back as he could go.

* * *

><p>I apologize for the graphicness of the chapter - I needed a Shock Chapter somewhere in there, and a camp with a Noah running it will do that. Hopefully, this doesn't mean I have to raise my ratings any higher to an M rather than a T.<p>

I would like to say thanks to St. Iggy the Pyro - fantastic review! It was very helpful. Thank you for the support. I just love feedback.

Hopefully, the next chapter will be out soon. I'm sorry that my schedule is so irregular. I might make a new system of releasing chapters so it'll be a bit more on time. Until then, things will be sporadic.

-Dr. Yok


	12. Las Memorias Que Echa Por Tierra

The day was gray, and the rain came down in sheets. It was a dreary time, with the buildings crumble and smoke curling in the air. It was damp, horribly damp, and he could feel it through his clothes. His wet, red hair stuck to his face as he walked slowly home. Behind him, a man watched with what seemed like awe. However, the boy didn't notice. He just continued walking as if the man did not exist. The red haired man of nineteen trailed behind him as if in a dream, watching as the young boy looked up at the sky with green eyes. However, this stop was momentary. The boy quickly picked up his pace again, weaving in and out of the crowd that was hurrying through the city very suddenly, all of them worn and half-dead in spirit. The sound of bombs and explosions echoed somewhere in the distance, but no one payed any notice to them.

The boy read the numbers on the buildings carefully, passing by broken ones without hardly a glance. He was used to broken buildings. Though new ones seemed to crop up every single day, they were always the same to him. They were all broken shells that would multiply until they swallowed the entire city. One day, that was all that would be left in the world. To him, he'd never known anything else.

Finally, he reached one that was made of what was once brown brick but was now drab, dusty stone of unidentifiable color. Here and there a plant would make an ambitious move to grow up the side of it, but it would never get far. The young boy stepped inside of the building, walking up the stairs one by one by one. Behind him, unnoticed and unseen, the red haired young man with the eye patch followed the boy up the creaking staircase. Through the steps, he could see the other floors, and the stairs themselves were eaten by wood mites, rot, and mold.

The boy finally reached a door, passing many others on his way to this one destination. He was hardly tall enough to reach the door handle, but reach it he did. Inside the room, the wail of a child met his ears, and the little boy put a small smile on his face. He walked into the room, and the young man strode in behind him before the door could close. The older man's footsteps made no sound as the little boy ran up to the crib, balancing on tip toe in order to see inside. The young man peered over the little boy to get a glimpse of what he was looking at. A baby, hardly more than a few months old, squirmed in the crib with a scrunched up face, and the little boy tickled her stomach. The baby wasn't too fond of that - she began to wail, loudly vocalizing her discomfort. The little boy payed no mind as he walked away from the crib towards a bed in the corner of the room.

A lump lay on the bed. It was covered with blankets and rags, anything that would serve for warmth. The little boy began to slowly shake the lump, and the lump stirred, revealing a woman as it rose. She rubbed her eyes, and the young man sucked in a breath.

She had reddish brown hair and blue eyes with skin that was once as smooth as porcelain. However, many years had carved lines in her face and the pox had put scars on her cheeks. She had a long, aquiline nose that would one day be evident in her son, though now his nose kept the same, smallish bump of youth. She blinked blearily, her eyes looking like washed out pans of water as she asked, "What is it?" Her voice was wavering and thin. The little boy dug around in his pocket with one dirty hand, and he pulled out a gleaming handful of coins along with a single bill. The woman frowned and rose up a little higher, and she touched the coins hesitantly, as if they'd disappear.

The young man had the urge to touch her face, to feel her hair, to speak with her. It was overwhelming as he stared at her, his eye beginning to fill with tears as he realized who she was.

"I gotcha something! Look, here's a fivepence, and here's a tenpence, and this one's a tuppence and another fivepence, and this is a whole pound!" he stated in an excited hush, pointing out the coins and single bill. The woman seemed in awe and in horror at the same time. She shook as she suddenly seem to shrink into the covers, and she asked, "Where did you get this?" The boy suddenly looked surprised, and he fell silent. He looked at his feet, and that was all the answer his mother needed.

"You stole it."

"You needed the money, Mam. I didn't want to-"

"You _stole _it. You _stole _it, and you _took _it, and... and..."

"Mam!" She shook her head, disgusted. She sat up in bed, shaking with the effort of remaining upright. She coughed and spat before saying, "I didn't raise my son to be a thief. God does not take kindly to thieves, and you know it. He punishes thieves and liars." The boy drew in on himself, looking up fearfully as his mother took the money and attempted to get up. She stumbled towards the door, and she put the money in a purse hanging on a wall. She stood at the wall, catching her breath before looking over her shoulder at the boy. Behind him, with much the same horrified look, the young man stood with a great sadness in his chest.

"I want you to... I... I need you to just... You need... to... I... I don't know what I want you to do... I don't know what I want you to do," the woman suddenly said, collapsing to her knees as she began to sob. The baby screamed and screeched, and a thump from above was followed by a loudly yelled "SHUT UP DOWN THERE, WILL YA?"

"WHY DON'T YA JUST SHOVE IT?" she shouted in retaliation. Suddenly, things fell quiet, other than the sound of the baby crying. The young boy edged closer to his sobbing mother, her shoulders shaking with the weight of her despair. She looked up at her son, her nose running with snot and her eyes red from weeping.

She touched her son's face, holding it in her hands as she stroked his hair and asked, "What are we going to do? You just... you wanted to-to help, but... I don't know what to do. We... there's nothing we can do." She laughed with a touch of hysteria as she cleared her son's hair out of his face as a tear trailed down his cheek. She shook her head, sucking in a deep breath that shook like a leaf in a storm.

"Mam, what's the matter?" he asked. "I was just hungry. I just... wanted to get something for us. To get dinner." She shook her head with a sad smile, and she wiped her nose.

"Son, y'can't make a dinner out of a pound and ten pence," she stated, holding him by the shoulders before giving him a kiss to the head. She patted his cheek, and she said, "Don't ya do it again, or else I'll take a cane to ya." The boy nodded, and Lavi stared at the scene with both awe and confusion. His life... he'd hardly remembered his life before becoming a Bookman. He didn't even remember what his real name was. He couldn't have remembered his mother, either. All he knew was-

There was a knock on the door. He looked up quickly, instinct and intuition immediately telling him what was going to happen next. The boy's mother stood up, staring at the door with a look that was part fear and part hope. She shook as she opened the door, though from ill health or fright, Lavi didn't know. He stood behind them as the door was quietly opened, and two dark clad men stood there with their faces ominously shaded by their hats.

"Is this him?" one of them asked, gesturing to the young redheaded boy. She nodded meekly.

"Are you sure he will - "

"I am more than sure," she stated with a strength Lavi wouldn't have thought she possessed. The two of them fell silent. They looked down at the boy, and with a single flick of his finger gestured the boy to follow them. He looked up at his mother uncertainly, but the mother was walking away towards her daughter. She picked her up and began to rock her with swaying motions that put Lavi in mind that she would be in danger of falling over. Her shoulders were shaking, but she hid it well. The young boy looked up to the strange men, and he began to follow them.

Suddenly, though, the building shook, and the two men dragged the young boy into the stairwell with them. Very suddenly, the entire building began to collapse, and they began to scream and shout. Lavi was aware that he was behind the two men and the boy instead of inside of the room. _I can only see and sense what I've already seen and sensed before. Of course. _

"Mam! MAM!" the boy shouted, trying to run back towards the room, but the stairs were already collapsing in puffs of dust and splinters. Both Lavi and the boy glimpsed for the last time the woman with red hair, washed out eyes, and sad face in the center of her room with a baby in her arms and a look on her visage that stated she was resigned to her fate. The entire side of the building collapsed, and the rain of dust spattered them all. They coughed and spluttered, waving away the dust. The only things left were sections of stair clinging to the building and a few of the rooms downstairs. Wailing cut the air, and people shrieked.

The boy's home was now one of the broken shells he passed by every day. He shook as he stared down below, seeing a single arm sticking out of the rubble. The hand was familiar, one that he knew had taken his hand and stroked his face and smoothed his hair. Not ten minutes ago, those arms had held him. In that moment, Lavi realized something.

Never once, at all, that he could remember, neither of them had ever said 'I love you' to that woman, never thanked her, never said a word of gratitude other than to steal money for her even when she didn't want it and to cling to her when things got rough. Lavi stared numbly as he followed them down the stairs as far as they could go before they had to climb. He stared at the white arm in the rubble, reaching up to the sky, and he remembered something that had struck him that day, a thought that couldn't be spoken in this memory.

_"God punishes thieves and liars."_

* * *

><p>"I think we broke him," Mr. Naso said simply. Lulu stared at Lavi with a slightly peeved look. She flexed her hands as Darrin watched in almost horrid fascination.<p>

He was dripping with sweat, and his body was scarred with a multitude of burns. His face was cut in several places along his cheeks, and rivulets fell over his chin on to his chest. He was a bloody pulp - he hardly even looked like a human being. He was a mangled, broken person, and Darrin had had to watch them try and get a scream out of him for the past twenty to thirty minutes. They had had no such luck.

"We probably did," Lulu said, looking rather undecided about something. "You think we should just kill him? After all, there will be more Bookmen. He's expendable..." Darrin scrambled for something in his mind. They were after him because of information, and more Bookmen out there meant-

"You don't wanna do that, Miss," Darrin growled out gruffly. He glared at the woman, and she stared at him out of the corner of her eye. She walked over to him, standing toe to toe with the man who was sitting on the ground. She looked down and asked, "Why is that?" Darrin only grinned cheekily, and Lulu shoved him back with a boot to the neck. Darrin wheezed as she pressed down hard, and she asked, "Why is that? I couldn't hear you, I'm sorry." Darrin coughed and tried to say, "Come... come for... him..." Lulu frowned, and she took her boot off his neck.

"Others will come. Others... others will come for him," Darrin wheezed. She stood there, contemplating that idea for a moment... and then she nodded.

"He's right. We're better off keeping him alive as a hostage. Though from what it looks like, he won't be alive for much longer," she said, nudging the inert man with her toe. He didn't even budge. Lulu walked out of the tent, and Mr. Naso began to clean up. He looked towards Darrin with a kind smile, and he asked, "Would you like something to eat or drink? I need to feed this one anyways." He gestured to the man he'd been torturing only moments earlier. Darrin felt a chill spread from the nape of his neck to his spine. This man... he was so strange and incongruous, completely ruthless one minute to a kind, gentle person the next.

"No thanks," Darrin stated, shying away. The man walked out of the tent, and Darrin quickly stood up and tried to crawl towards Lavi. The man's red hair was stuck to his face, matted with dried blood and dirty from travel. Darrin managed to get his hands in front of him, and he lifted the man's head up. He didn't even groan as Darrin touched the drying scratches on his face. He winced as his fingers bit deep into the wounds, revealing that they were at least a millimeter deep, almost scraping the bone.

"Boy... boy, ya better wake up, alright? Cain't stay 'sleep like that fer the rest of yer life," Darrin said in hushed tones. Lavi's eye was the same dull, almost lifeless green with no activity revealing that he was actually conscious. His lips moved slowly, forming words that Darrin couldn't understand. He frowned as he let Lavi's head flop back down on his chest. All of a sudden, there was the sound of screaming, and Darrin looked behind him. He blinked as he realized that something was on fire. He could see the glow from inside of the tent, and he tentatively stood up. He was staked to the ground by a rope around his leg, but he could still get pretty far. He crawled on his stomach towards the entrance, just barely managing to move back the heavy canvas to see what was going on. He saw dark boots flash past as men yelled in Spanish.

And out of nowhere, there was screaming. Darrin scrambled back, wondering what in the Sam Hill could cause men to shriek like they were now. He felt his heart beat faster as he wandered back over to Lavi. This may just be their chance to hightail it out of there. Darrin quickly looked down at his wrists. They were tied together, but that had never stopped him before. As long as his fingers could move, he could get out. He tried to walk towards the torture table, but it was too far away. He looked around for something to throw, but he found nothing. He sighed as he sat down in front of Lavi, trying to think of _something _that might help them.

Lulu's voice suddenly boomed, and Darrin almost fell flat on his back. She was loud! He quickly stood back up as something flew into their tent. A bucket... that was it? A bucket? Darrin took it anyways, and he chucked it towards the torture table. Several implements suddenly flew off, and the only one within reach was the meat tenderizer. Darrin growled at his bad luck, and he started to worry away at the rope connecting him to the stake he was tied to. It was frayed halfway when Mr. Naso walked in. He stared at Darrin, grabbed one of his knives... and then he immediately walked back out. Darrin stared for a few moments before continuing his task, and he finally managed to get the rope off enough for him to snap the rope. He strode over to Lavi, and he started to undo the ties that held him to the rack.

"I'm gonna gitchu outta here, okay?" Darrin said, and he felt a pang of pain in his heart as he thought about how many other rescues of his had actually failed. He'd quit trying after a while, decided it was just better to be alone without anyone to save... and then these guys showed up on his front door (well, tent), and threw his world straight into what seemed like hell - and strangely enough, he sort of liked it that way.

More screaming was heard, and a man ran into the tent in a frenzy, hiding behind the winged chair that Lulu regularly occupied. He shivered, and Darrin pushed away the urge to glare and bark at the man to stop his whimpering. He had more pressing matters. He finally undid the last tie, and Lavi flopped to the ground in a heap. He didn't even bother to get up off of his ribs, and Darrin knew that the man was lost deep, deep, _deep _inside of himself somewhere. It'd been eerie to watch him transition, as if one minute he was there and the next he was a dead carcass meant for whipping, slashing, and burning. Darrin had a time trying to lift him up, seeing as Lavi was a good one hundred pounds heavier, and all that weight was all muscle and bone.

As Darrin carried Lavi out, men passed them by without a second thought, screaming, _"Corra! Corra!" _Suddenly, Darrin found himself at a blockade of Akuma, surrounded by them, though they didn't seem to notice him.

And then, briefly, Lavi woke up.

He began to speak, but he was mumbling so much that he couldn't tell what he was saying. Darrin slowly began backing away from the line of Akuma, lowering his head to Lavi's level at his shoulder.

"What'sat?" he muttered, a cold sweat coating his body as the armored demons corralled the men back into the camp. The words were becoming more distinct, but it still sounded like a garbled mess. Darrin didn't blame Lavi, considering his mouth was a pulp along with the rest of him, but it was highly frustrating.

"Ha-ha-... ham-m-mer. Need... need it," Lavi breathed, and Darrin immediately understood. He momentarily froze as he realized he had absolutely no idea what they'd done with it. It could be anywhere. More than likely, it was probably destroyed. The sounds of destruction were suddenly getting closer as Darrin realized that the Akuma were shooting at anyone trying to leave the camp.

"Dirty humans! Get back there and fight! She's one of you, anyways, you dumbasses!" one of the Akuma snarled in English, and the men fled back towards camp. The light of the moon was distorted by the warm, ominous glow of fires that had sprung up all over.

"Partner, 'at's a bit of a problem right now," Darrin stated, grunting as he dragged the younger man back behind a tent. The Akuma floated in droves over the camp, shooting humans indiscriminately now. Lavi raised his head, and Darrin looked at him in surprise. He was met with a stare that he could only describe as mechanical. The body was alive and working but the mind... it was as if the body were on autopilot, working only to survive and nothing else. It was chilling.

"I know where it is," Lavi said in a dead voice, no inflection and no tone. Darrin suppressed a shiver as he nodded and stated in a falsely cheerful tone, "Okay, where?" Lavi looked up the mountain to the head honcho's tent, and Darrin felt his stomach fill with lead. That was a good half-mile of enemy territory right there, occupied by both scared Spanish men, Akuma, and whatever was causing the hubbub. There was a sudden stampede as horses flooded out of the camp. Darrin realized he'd have to move and soon. If he didn't get out of there, he was going to either get them both shot, trampled, or discovered.

The trek up to the head tent was arduous and nerve-racking. Twice, Lavi was nearly shot, and Darrin had come very close to being discovered, and by Lulu no less. By the time they reached the tent, Darrin thought he would have a stroke from sheer stress alone. He huffed as he waited in the darkness behind a tent, and Lavi said, "Go... inside. Take... find... hammer. Get out. Leave me here." Darrin stared for a moment... but then supposed that there would be no arguing with him. Getting in and out quickly would be a hassle if he had a half-dead man on his back. Darrin lowered Lavi gently to the ground, placing him face up, and he headed off to the tent.

Within minutes, he'd found what he was looking for. The hammer looked like a prize, sitting on its own pedestal of sorts near the made up cot. For whatever reason, it'd been kept, and it was partially disguised by stacks of large chests that towered inside of the tent. Darrin grabbed the hammer-

Voices assailed the tent, and Darrin scrambled to hide inside of a half-open trunk full of clothes. He just barely managed to squeeze his small frame into the trunk, and he felt horribly claustrophobic and trapped. Voices became clearer as he lifted the lid of the trunk an infinitisemal amount.

"What is it this thing that has attacked my men? Tell me, is it one of your own concoctions? One of your own devil-gotten beings?" That voice was male, deep, and loud. It was also very angry, and he figured that was the Senor, the drug lord facilitating this debacle. Another voice answered, this one melodious and female.

"You should know better than to think that the _monster _attacking your men is ours. We, at least, have better control over our creations. The Earl is not like the church. We're much tidier." There was the sound of buttocks hitting a trunk as someone sat down, and there were a few moments of tense silence.

"When will you finish your... project? I do not believe we may stay here much longer. The men are losing morale, and the thing you seek must be elsewhere. I do not believe it is here," the male voice said. Darrin frowned. That was what those monsters had been doing... they were searching for something. He'd thought that-

"Believe me, it's there. We stay. The Bookmen have information we may need, and I believe they've programmed it deep into the boy's subconscious. Once we have accessed it, we'll have the exact location of the artifact," the female voice answered, and Darrin thought the temperature in the tent dropped a few degrees centigrade. He swallowed, trying his best to remain still. Any move and they might realize he was there.

"You have never told me what you were looking for."

"That's because you don't need to know."

Another tense silence, this one punctuated by gun fire and the sound of men screaming.

"How will you destroy it? The thing out there?" The male voice was tense. "What is it after?"

"Not it. She."

"She?"

"Yes. She." Darrin frowned, and he cautiously raised his neck to the level of the slit in the trunk. He peered out to look at whatever was visible of both the Senor and Lulubell. She? Were they talking about the thing rampaging through the camp?

"All right. What is _she _after?" Darrin held his breath. Had Esperanza survived the fall somehow? Along with those five or six gunshots? If she had, that meant she wsa either undead or made out of steel. He gripped the hammer, his knee shaking from the strain of holding up the heavy lid of the trunk. He waited with baited breath.

"She's after the Bookman Apprentice. Innocence does strange things to their users. Lenalee Lee, another Exorcist, was saved by her Innocence during a battle. Allen Walker was also saved by his Innocence. I have no doubt that this Innocence probably did the same for its owner. However, I do not believe it has ever reacted quite this... strongly towards adversity," Lulu said, and she walked past his trunk. He felt his heart stop as she momentarily walked back in front of his trunk, standing right in front of him.

"The Akuma should be able to shoot her down. Do not let your men leave the camp. We need every single one of them," she stated. Suddenly, there was the smell of burning, and cursing filled the air. Darrin had to strain in order to see what was happening, and Lulu and the Senor hurried to the side of the tent out of his sight. A figure suddenly stood in the doorway, and Darrin's eyes widened in fear. He shivered and shook, tempted to lower the lid and forget the sight he'd just witnessed.

It appeared that his earlier question of whether or not Esperanza was alive was now answered. She was alive, but... He shivered. Her body was mottled with blood, black under the skin. Bones were jutting against her skin, but she continued to walk and move. She looked like some sort of anatomical anomaly. There was no way she could still move in her state, and yet here she was. He heard distressed words before there was a sudden choking sound while footsteps rushed.

A body hit the floor, and Darrin curled up as closed in as he could around the hammer that Lavi had so wanted. Things suddenly fell into a deathly hush, the only sound Darrin could hear was his breathing. He trembled as he thought he could hear footsteps approaching his hiding place, but a heat caused him to realize that there was a fire, and sooner or later he had to vacate his current spot.

Lavi! He'd left Lavi, and a fire was beginning! There was no way the boy would be able to save himself - he was too battered to even try. Darrin tried to think of a way to escape the trunk without spurring attention when suddenly it was blown backwards. Darrin tumbled with a great yell, and he landed on the grass spread eagle on his back. He was surprised to see so much burned, as if a massive explosion had eaten the trees and grass. He scrambled to his hands and knees, and he surveyed the charred ground for any landmark that might denote where Lavi was located. He hoped that the boy hadn't been roasted. Already, the smoke was filling his lungs and making him cough as he raced down the hill side, unwilling to look behind him at what may be following him.

He tripped over something, and he finally looked back to see Lavi on the ground right where he'd left him. The tent that he'd been hidden behind had collapsed, the tent poles shattered and strewn about by some unknown force.

"W-what... what...?" Lavi breathed, but Darrin didn't take the time to explain. He simple tried to drag Lavi in any direction that was _away. _Suddenly, he stared into a line of Akuma, and his breath caught in his throat. They stood like sentinels against a fiery background. All the men were gone, and Darrin had the feeling they were either dead, dusted, or worse. He shook, realizing he had nowhere to go-

Lavi suddenly shoved Darrin to the ground as a hail of bullets tore up the ground into a purplish-brown haze. He scrambled back, looking up at Lavi with amazement as the man straightened up from his pained hunch. He stared at the Akuma with a mechanical eye, and there was something almost inhumane about him as he changed his hammer's size to that of an elephant's. The Akuma began firing again, but they couldn't make a dent in the hammer, or Lavi's defense as he protected the one human ally he had with him.

Finally, as if he'd had enough, he summoned his Level Two invocation, calling upon his seals like a master summoned hounds. Faithfully, they rung around him as he smashed his hammer into two different stamps, his Wood: Wind and Fire Stamps. Darrin watched at his feet as Lavi unleashed a massive wall of fire around them, spiraling out into a sphere that swallowed all in its path without intense heat turned his skin to leather and robbed his mouth of all moisture. His eyes watered as they were dried out within mere minutes. Screams of men unseen and the screech of Akuma met Darrin's ears, and he knew that in all his years he'd never heard a sound like that.

And then, it was all over. The fire dissipated to nothing but wisps, and Darrin shook on the ground, his heart thudding at an arrhythmic pace. A good 100 yards' radius was burned and leveled. Tents were charred remains, and the trees were nothing more than blackened sticks that were on fire or smoldering. The ground was dark and ashy, lumps of dark substance denoting where men may have once stood. Such power... such ability... Lavi suddenly looked down at Darrin with empty eyes, and he felt a thrill of fear as he realized that he didn't see a spark of recognition in the man's eyes. He scrambled backwards away from Lavi as the battered man advanced, twisting his hammer in his hand.

Darrin knew that in the moment when he backed into a burned, scalding pole he was going to die at his own friend's hand for no other reason than he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The hammer, bigger than the move above, came down -

and stopped.

Darrin stared at the woman holding the hammer up by the handle, stopping it with a shivering, straining arm. She was disgusting to look at, repulsive to behold, and yet Darrin could not tear his eyes from her. Her skin was covered in a strange, swirling pattern that turned her brown skin into a scaled silver as if she was adorned with shimmering slivers of steel. Bones jutted, skin was marred, massive half-healed wounds dotted her body. She was half-naked, wearing only a brassiere and her underwear. Her hair was covered in leaves, grass, and twigs, and there was no way she could still be alive.

Yet it was most definitely Esperanza. She was still recognizable, even with the blood, bones, and silver slivers along her body. The two entities, driven by separate wills that originated from different sources, stared at each other for several moments. Lavi's green eye pierced into the dead, blue eyes Esperanza sported. For a moment, Esperanza seemed to recognize Lavi... and then she threw him back ten feet.

Lavi retaliated as quickly as he could, smashing her into the ground with his hammer, but before he could do that, she dodged his attempted move and landed a foot to his gut. They continued to battle, and Darrin was caught between trying to stop them and surviving. They should both be dead by now... they should be _dead. _And now it seemed that the two people he'd meant to save were going to fight to the death. The very irony of it hit him, and he laughed with a note of hysteria.

And suddenly, he let loose a screaming laugh that only belonged to those whose works had come to nothing and whose nerves were near shot beyond repair. With this background music of lunatic mirth, the two continued to do battle, as broken as they were, for reasons they did not know and did not care.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So for this issue, we've only got one new person to add to our ranks: Kyuu333, for both favorite story and a subscription.

As I've said before, I very much enjoy reviews. I'm glad that this story gets so many views, but I can't make anything better if I don't know what I need to work on. Still, keep up the good work and keep reading!

_-Doctor Yok  
><em>


	13. Como Aceite y Agua

The trees were covered with snow. That was the first thing she knew for certain. The trees were covered with snow, and she was freezing her near naked hind end off. She lifted up a hand, examining the fine looking scales of metal that dotted her skin, looking as if they'd embedded themselves into it. She ignored it, seeing as it didn't cause any undue pain, as far as she could tell. She brushed a hand through her hair, nearly screaming as she felt pain lance through her fingers. In fact, most every part of her hurt. It was the same sort of soreness that afflicted one who had broken bones in multiple places. It suddenly dawned on her. She _had _broken many, many bones, but afterwards, things got a little bit blurry. She remembered being shell-shocked. She also remembered fire and smoke and tents and -

_Amigo._

She sat up, snow shifting off of her. She hadn't even been aware it had settled on top of her. There was a very thin layer over her skin, almost to the point of being a crust. How did she get up here? She must be at least a good thousand feet above the camp, which meant she must've been hiking all night long. It was day time now, and the sun glistened wetly off the old snow. She shakily stood up, her breath pooling in a cloud of mist around her chin as she swung her head around to stare in every direction. She began to feel panic as she realized that she couldn't find the distinctive red hair of her now-constant companion. She'd gotten so used to his presence, even in those tensely awkward moments where the fact that they were man and woman as well as Exorcist, that his disappearance was like a missing tooth, and her awareness was her tongue running around that hole where the tooth should've been rooted.

Though she didn't see her _amigo_ or his red hair against the landscape of black-green trees and white snow, she did see something else - footprints. She frowned as she realized that the footsteps led to her, and they were lightly sprinkled with a layer of snow. However, blood was still visible in the prints, and she looked at the bottom of her own feet, much to her chagrin. They'd practically been eaten to the bone by the cold and the harsh ground. She got up and began to follow her footsteps, grunting in pain every few steps as the open cuts were pressed into the frozen crust.

After nearly ten minutes of walking down a fairly steep hill, she rubbed her arms and huffed as she saw a familiar figure nearly seventy meters away stopped at a tree. Her footprints went right past him. She continued slowly down the hill, shivering as the cold began to truly permeate her skin and bones, and she felt the ache in the breakages more harshly than before. She stopped at the inert form under the tree, and she brushed off some of the snow. One pierced ear was revealed, a tinge of red outlining the earring where frostbite was worming its way into the flesh. She uncovered more and more of the body, finding a very still, very dead looking Bookman Junior. She felt her body begin to shake, but it was not the cold causing her sudden shivers.

She knelt down, landing heavily on her knees next to the body. What happened? How had they both managed to reach the top of the mountain? What happened last night? Fear suddenly spiked through her as her brain went into overdrive. They were going to die here in the snow. They should've died already, by all accounts. They'd been out overnight in the snow of the mountain top. How was it that they were not dead? Either way, any more exposure and they'd both die... if Lavi was not already dead to begin with. She flipped him onto his back, her hands clumsy with the cold, and she scrambled to find a pulse. Her fingers were too numb to detect it (or so she wanted to believe), so she put her ear to his chest, searching for a heartbeat. It occurred to her that she had never heard a man's heartbeat before, and she briefly wondered if it was any different from a woman's...

There it was. It beat slowly, almost too slowly it seemed, and she relaxed against him in relief. His body was fiercely chilled, though, and that worried her. His face was slack, not the look of peace that usually bestowed his features in sleep, as she had watched him sleep on those nights when dreams of dead children would wake her and she needed to take her mind off things. His face and demeanor had reminded her of a puppy, twitching and mumbling and swatting at imaginary things. Now, it was disturbing to see such a lively person stay so still, and she hauled him behind her as well as she could. There were drag marks where his body had disturbed the snow at some point in time, and she realized that she herself had dragged him here.

Again, questions of what exactly took place the night before ransacked her mind, and she let herself be privy to all sorts of wild imaginings, of dead men and frantic horses and screams and bombs. She realized that past memories were affecting the speculations she had over the night before. She took a very deep breath, and she cleared her mind. In order to help him, she could not fall into that pit of fear of what she had or might've done. She talked to herself in Spanish to calm herself, praying to keep her mind focused. As she recited her familiar, well-stated prayers she examined him carefully for injuries, hoping to God that he didn't have any.

Her hopes, it seemed, were more often than not in vain. His face was scratched, bruised, and swollen. His back could've been mistaken for a side of meat. His body was white, so pale he almost blended into the snow. Blood was everywhere, especially in the dragged snow beyond him, but it seemed the snow had helped keep him alive by slowing his heart and keeping the body from bleeding out. He was just barely alive. She couldn't see any other injuries, besides a broken foot and several serious lacerations. She shivered as she imagined the pain he must've gone through, but she also decided pitying him would do neither of them any good.

She slung him over her shoulder, and she grunted in pain. Her bones were still healing, faster than normal but still too slow to be miraculous or to enable her to carry a full-grown man with ease. She shuddered under his weight as she attempted to walk down the mountain.

Time is stretched by pain. It seems that a minute is a day, an hour is a month, a day is a year, and anything longer is a lifetime. The brain no longer keeps an accurate account of time, thus she could no longer remember how long she'd walked. She knew that when she'd started, the sun had already been in the sky, a silver dollar sheathed by gauze. Now, it was a low ball of glowing red that had already disappeared down the mountain, and only the glow against the clouds showed its presence. The snow was growing thinner; the air was growing thicker. She was getting closer to the region of the mountain that was much, much warmer, but she knew that she would never be able to make it by nightfall. They could dodge death once - twice was tempting fate.

However, no matter her effort, she collapsed towards the bottom of the mountain, and she lay there, completely and utterly exhausted. She shivered and curled into a ball, realizing it wouldn't have mattered anyways. Her body couldn't handle the strain, and they'd both die here unless she could find the strength and resolve to get back up, or her _amigo_ could wake up and help. She looked to her companion with a wavering glance, and she clumsily touched his face with cold-bearing fingers. Her chin quivered as she realized that, although she would have people to mourn her, this man who could be so thoughtful and smart, possibly world-changing, would die here forgotten, another piece of the world whisped away. She remembered a short conversation she had had with him about his job as a Bookman, the trials he'd gone through. It'd been heartrending to her.

_"That's all we exist for, you know. Our existence is to find information, to keep it, to store it. That's all we do. Once we die, that's it. Poof. Like we were never there."_

_"Amigo... por favor, desperta... desperta... te necesito... vamos a morir aqui si tu no despertes..."_ she mumbled half-heartedly, chuckling morbidly. He couldn't hear her. Why was she even trying? What was the use? She had already said goodbye, but then life had been granted back to her, only to be cruelly snatched away at the last second like a bully with a piece of candy to an eager child. She curled up around his body, longing for any sort of warmth, even the cheap, spent warmth of another person's heat. Her shivers racked her body, both from pain and from exhaustion. The snow settled on top of them, and Esperanza dimly recalled a story about a little girl with a matchstick who'd frozen to death. Oh, if only she had a matchstick now. She would use it for all it was worth.

Suddenly, a brightness began to flow over the two of them, and Esperanza wondered if people who froze to death saw a light before leaving this Earth. She squeezed her eyes shut, burying her face in the skin of her _amigo_'s shoulder, too scared to look at what might be headed towards the both of them. Hallucination or no, she was worried that what she would see would break her mind.

A hand descended and touched her neck, and she slowly, oh so ever slowly, turned her head to stare at the thing hovering over them. It held a bright light and wore a large, floppy hat. A long braid trailed down, tickling Esperanza's cheek. A face in shadow peered down, and a voice spoke in a language she did not understand. It took her a moment to realize that this was neither apparition nor hallucination. With shaking hands, she reached for the person that had touched her, and she smiled, a smile that cracked her hard, cold face and seemed to warm her from the inside out. It was a shaky smile, as she had not smiled, not truly smiled as she was doing now, for such a long time, and she was very much out of practice.

She bowed, shaking, at the person's feet, crying from exhaustion and relief, feeling that God had not abandoned her once and for all.

* * *

><p>He was aware that it was unseasonably warm. Something brushed continually over his skin, something scratchy and gritty. His eye felt caked, and his ears felt clogged. He felt so warm - in fact, so warm he felt hot. Lavi cracked open an eye, realizing he was awake, and he stood up in absolute confoundment.<p>

He was in a desert. It was not like the desert he had just visited next to the mountains. No, this desert was a shifting ocean of sand, a Saharan wonderland. He shivered, wondering how he got here. He looked up at the sky, watching the clouds move at an unnervingly fast pace across the drained-blue sky that was the color of his mother's eyes. He attempted walking, but the sands shifted so fast under his feet that his step suddenly fell three feet, and he tumbled with a yell down the dune. He looked up, and he realized that there were things in the sand. As he looked down on his hands and knees, he noticed a human hand sticking out of the sand before being covered again by the rolling dunes, and he was carried along with it.

He yelled as the dune crashed, and he rolled against the sand before being taken up again by another rolling wave. He attempted to stand up, but it was too tumultuous. Once again, he fell in a heap, only to be lifted by the next wave. After ten minutes of this exercise in futility, he finally began to find his balance along the waves. As he did so, he noticed, as he stood up, cities half buried in the desert, and some of them he recognized. There was the tall spire of the Eiffel Tower, with Paris near-covered in dunes. He frowned, remembering Paris all too vividly. Way too many kissing couples for his liking, if he remembered correctly. And then there was the Taj Mahal, from Agra. He'd liked that place. A massive dune smashed up against the side of it, not even blasting the hard stone. In the distance, he could see the Tower of London, and something began to stir within him.

"You're finally figuring out where you are, aren't you?" a voice said, and he spun around to face the apparition that had continually taunted him for the past week. He remained mute, stony mouthed and tight lipped. The boy looked like he had grown. Instead of coming up to Lavi's shoulder, he was now as tall as his chin. His jaw was stronger, and the baby fat was being stripped away by age and weariness. The voice he used was as monotonous as ever, though Lavi could detect the old, smug tone underlying his words. He would know, after all. He'd used it plenty of times before. Ah, the superiority he'd felt when he was that age, only fourteen or so and on top of the world because he knew something that everyone else didn't.

"This is the inside of your mind. Or the very outskirts, at the least. I don't believe you're very familiar with it," the apparition said, walking through the dunes as easily as a stroll through a park. He walked up to the next buried thing in the sand, a metal flower holding an inkwell with beautiful ebony pens. The boy turned it over in his hands before dropping it in the sand. It sank underneath the shifting sands, disappearing as soon as it had come. Lavi couldn't help but notice the metaphor. No doubt, that was intentional.

"You'll start to figure your way around, so I'm not going to bother with explaining everything to you. You'll find the Memory Palace - of course you remember that don't you? - and all sorts of other things. This isn't a receptacle anymore, though, so that means you'll be plagued by other things as you walk through. Those, I'll let you handle on your own," the apparition said, glancing at Lavi over his shoulder.

"You're not going to show me around?" Lavi asked, half playful and half serious. The apparition smirked, the closest he'd seen to an actual expression on the boy's face. He shrugged.

"It's your mind, isn't it? Who knows it better than you?" With that, the boy was whisked away by the sands, engulfed by a massive set of octopus-like arms that extended out from under him and swallowing him into the depths of the desert. Lavi was alone.

Or so he thought.

As he walked along, over his shoulder at the corner of his eye, he always caught this half-seen glimpse of a figure dressed in bright colored scarves. The figure disappeared every time he attempted to look at it, though, and he decided to leave it be.

He journeyed past many different cities buried in the desert. He slowly learned to navigate the dunes, walking on top of some while riding out others. He started to find a pattern in the placement of cities. The ones he'd been to in his early life, including the city he'd once called home at a time when he'd still had a name, were all dilapidated shells of themselves, and they were nearest to him. The farther he went, the more recent he'd see cities, and even multiples would appear. He'd already seen London fifteen times, at his last count, and he'd spied out New York City at least twelve. Sometimes, he'd see little townships in between the cities, markers of the places he'd been that he'd nearly forgotten, but had hung on to out of a sense of Bookman's duty and pity for those forsaken towns in the middle of nowhere.

And then finally, he reached something he hadn't expected. He could see the Memory Palace, a glimmering amalgamation of crystal, stone, and vegetation, from where he stood, but before he reached it he saw a bed lined with gauzy curtains that concealed what was hidden inside. He frowned. He had not ever seen anything like this. He was sure of it, seeing as he'd remember it. Of all places he'd been, why was a bed with curtains sitting in the middle of his mind, waiting on the outskirts?

He moved back the curtain, and he stopped. He felt his blood trickle into ice. He let the curtain fall, and he turned away.

In the bed were two women, both dressed in their Sunday best. One was his mother. The other was his sister, all grown up with long, wavy red hair and porcelain, delicate skin just like her mother's. The last place he'd been was within his mind, watching his mother and sister die as the building they had been in collapsed. He couldn't commemorate it like the cities he'd been to. It wasn't really a place he'd gone to, but a memory. That was why it was placed like this so close to his Memory Palace, so near to the very heart of his mind. He kept walking, and he did not look back.

_Leave the dead to bury their dead. _

His Palace loomed before him, a gleaming shard in the desert. Night was falling in his mind, and the fast moving clouds seemed to speed up as the sky darkened. Shadows lengthened, and Lavi felt engulfed by the sheer massiveness of the skyscraper in front of which he stood. It was chock full of memories, many of them incredibly painful and others that were downright forbidden to access. There was no door, but Lavi knew how to get inside. He closed his eyes, and he tried to dig up a memory -

_deadened, blackened hair splayed out around the boy as a sixteen year old Lavi ran as fast as he could towards the Japanese Exorcist. He skidded to a stop next to the body, feeling for a pulse. _

Lavi opened his eyes, and he was in the memory, at the threshold, a literal one, of a memory that was playing out in a room that was not a room. A younger, much less expressive Lavi shook Kanda with a look that might've been concern, but was rather hard to discern. The Japanese Exorcist, also much younger with shorter hair and a hotter temper, grabbed the young Bookman by the throat. Rain cascaded down as the two stared at each other, one with wariness and the other with blatant surprise. The rainforest choked the air as the two stared, and Lavi walked away from the memory, knowing exactly what would happen next. That had been the first mission he'd ever tackled with Kanda and Bookman. They'd gotten separated from Bookman, and they'd had to fight through an entire jungle with only each other for company.

But he wasn't interested in that. He had to figure out how to get out of the Palace and out of his mind. He had to search for a memory that Bookman had given him, one about Bookmen and their mental defenses and defense mechanisms. He knew he remembered, but he just didn't know how to wade through the sheer amount of stuff. Though all of his memories were meticulously organized, he didn't know exactly how they were _physically _put together in his head, like which went at the bottom of the tower and what went at the top. He decided to try a different route.

He thought of Bookman, the old panda's kohl-lined eyes and his clawed hands, that stupid question-mark ponytail and his short stature, the mean kick that he had -

Just like that, he was at the door of another room that was not a room, and a younger version of himself barreled through a door as Bookman seethed with a smoking foot, piping hot for another use.

"Idiot apprentice! Tch. Spilling tea all over my papers. Be more careful next time. You are lucky it was the weak stuff I was drinking, or else I'd make you rewrite everything I just put down," Bookman stated. The younger Lavi grumbled as he began to shuffle papers, placing them in files and muttering to himself about old, dodgy men who should be too old to be kicking the crap out of their younger students. Bookman gave Lavi a pointed look, and Lavi immediately shut up. The current Lavi found this unnerving to watch, as he was viewing everything from an outside perspective, his Bookman brain allowing him to view all of the information from a different point of view, though he could tell where patches had to be made whenever things became fuzzy or slightly distorted.

Lavi decided, instead of pulling up a random memory, to instead look into the hallways of his Palace. He was amazed to find all sorts of doodads and whatsits sitting around in the halls, just stuff piled up inside of his mind. He hadn't realized just how much clutter there was. Here was the clipboard that Lenalee had used on Kanda the first time the both of them had 'met', though 'brutally maimed each other' was a better word. There was Timcanpy, chewing on an electrical cord (which Lavi made sure to yank out of his mouth - mental or not, that was dangerous, and he didn't like to see a sad Tim). And then there was his saddle from his time as Phillip while in Russia. There, in the corner, was a little doll that a girl had played with in Mensch. All these random items were just strewn all over the place, covering the floor with meaningless trinkets that had significance in some way or another to Lavi.

He'd been wrong about keeping gifts. Lavi kept gifts in a unique way that no one else could touch. He kept memories of those objects, and in doing so he managed to somehow keep the object itself. Just as he thought this, he turned his head to stare at a birthday cake with a single candle and bright frosting, and a birthday present that was sitting right next to it. He gave a smile -

And accidentally jettisoned himself into the room the memory was housed in. He blinked as he watched Esperanza's concerned face as his own shone with tears. He hadn't realized that he'd been blubbering! He blushed as he realized just how serious his breach of conduct was, but it didn't seem to worry Esperanza one bit. He'd never noticed just how forlorn he'd looked as he'd looked at the decorations, or how in awe he'd been when he'd opened his present. It was a surreal experience to watch something that had happened only a few weeks ago from an outside perspective. Lavi looked down as he watched himself run around the table to hug Esperanza enthusiastically, knowing as he watched himself that slowly he'd been breaking rules long established in his mind. Don't show emotion. Don't touch others, physically or emotionally. Don't allow personal feelings to get in the way of work. Don't allow personal attachments. He'd broken so many with Esperanza, and so many of those with Kanda and Lenalee and Allen and Johnny and Reever and even Bookman, at points.

Lavi walked out, slowly meandering down the hallways and letting his memories walk him along different paths. He frowned as he eyed a doorway that was covered in chains, lines of yellow and black 'KEEP OUT' rope, and a steel door. His hand strayed towards it -

and then he remembered what that memory was. It was one of the few he would never, ever allow himself to indulge in, yet he couldn't bear to part with it. It'd been his first, almost real interaction with another human being in such a way that was intimate. He'd never thought of himself as the type to be romantic, but it'd been so hard to keep this memory from resurfacing. He drew his hand away from the door, not even realizing that he'd been touching it. He would leave it be. He could not wrestle with it, not on his own. He needed Bookman for that.

He continued to walk through his Memory Palace, going up and down Escher-esque staircases, into clogged hallways, through memories that had no rhyme nor reason. There were even portions of his Memory Palace that were purely thought, not really made up of actual memories. Here, he had to be careful, of course, lest he forget what was a memory and what was a thought that he perceived as memory. He went from top to bottom, wandering back and forth through favorite memories and funny moments he'd neglected to remember.

And then, finally, he found what he was looking for, merely by wandering around and not looking for it.

"Apprentice, there is something I must talk to you about," Bookman said, his face characteristically serious. There was no mischievous gleam in his eye, though, and a much younger Lavi, perhaps only just seventeen, looked puzzled at his somber tone. As of late, Bookman had taken a tendency to lighten up a little bit now that they were at the Order. Perhaps it was the environment. Perhaps it was the people. Maybe it was the nature of their mission. Either way, Bookman took to being a little more playful these days than usual, something Lavi had taken due note of with fascination.

"What is it, jiji?" Lavi asked, using the Japanese honorific for 'grandpa'. Though Lavi himself was not Japanese, he loved the cute little endings that could be stuck to names. It made them sound endearing. It was his inner love of people that shone through in this regard, and he tried to keep it at a minimum, only indulging in this one practice when he could. Bookman knew the reasons behind it, and the half-hearted glare that he gave Lavi made him shrug.

"Do you remember when we spoke about memory storage and such?" the Bookman said, and his apprentice nodded. He scratched at the skin underneath his headband, half-listening. Bookman gave him a swift, snapping smack to the back of the head.

"OW! Damn, old man, you still have an arm. That hurt."

"Listen to me for a few minutes, would you? I'm telling you something important." Lavi blinked, and he repositioned himself as to make it harder for Bookman to hit him and easier for the apprentice to actually pay attention. Bookman steepled his fingers and stated, "I am going to tell you a very, very, very clandestine practice that we Bookmen employ. You will not be able to use it until you are older and you can control it, but I think you are old enough to know about it at the very least. There is a very slim chance you may even stumble upon it on accident." Lavi cocked his head to the side in vexation, reminiscent of a puppy being given a command it does not recognize.

"I am talking about a memory manifestation. This is where a Bookman may literally journey into his mind to retrieve information that has been hidden from himself. Every Bookman's manifestation is different. Some have an ocean. Others have a jungle. Some have a park. Rarely, someone will get an actual palace within a palace. All in all, it is a very, very secret practice that allows us to retrieve memories so deeply hidden within our minds as to be almost unreachable by normal means," Bookman explained, and Lavi digested this information with a serious expression.

"What's so hard about it? It sounds like our usual memory classification system, only deeper," Lavi stated, and Bookman shook his head.

"You're making it too simple. This is not a simple store-and-retrieve system. The manifestation seems physical to the one using it, and the subconscious can also affect the conscious. It is dangerous to those unschooled in controlling their minds. Some of those memories could break a human being, shattering their psyche into millions of pieces. A Bookman is inert when inside of a memory manifestation, and it is highly dangerous to accidentally access it during battle. That is why I believe you need to be taught more control before we attempt it. Most Apprentices don't learn about this until they are well into their twenties, but your training has been... extensive in comparison. We may start when you reach the age of twenty-one. For now, you will continue training your mind for it," Bookman said. Lavi nodded in understanding. Something that expansive... Especially with a Bookman's memory, a person could get lost inside something that big.

"How do you get in and out of a manifestation?" Lavi asked, suddenly curious. Bookman closed his eyes, and he sighed.

"Entering is a matter of focus and the ability to submerge oneself into the mind. Leaving is a different matter. No one person leaves the same way out of a manifestation. It depends on the man or woman," Bookman stated. Lavi's face lit up at the mention of 'woman'.

"There are women Bookmen? Jiji, you've been holding out on me!"

THWACK!

"Idiot apprentice! You should know by now we're all celibate, you twit!"

Lavi watched this entire exchange with a look akin to horrid fascination and despair. Each person gets out a different way... That didn't exactly give him much. How was he supposed to get out now...? He wandered back into the halls, aimlessly wandering when he suddenly noticed that he was going progressively lower and lower, and it was getting darker and darker. The walls began morphing into black marble shot with silver veins, and the hallways became less cluttered. Finally, it was empty, and he could see shadows stir beneath the black marble. It dawned on him that he must be inside of his subconscious. He blinked at the realization, watching a bubble form out of the black marble and then float into the opposite wall, disappearing as if it had never been. Shadows prowled, half-real and half-not. This was the realm of all those thoughts he wouldn't allow himself to face, those things he couldn't deal with alone -

A flash of red caught his eye, and he watched the end of a red dress disappear around a corner. He followed the dress, looking around the corner to see it disappear again, the end of it bright against the black marble. He frowned as he progressively started to run after the dress, always ending up a corner behind or a corner above. He could hear the steady 'clip clop clip clop' of heeled boots hit the floor, and he imagined the sound of a deep, throaty laugh that was all too familiar, and yet he couldn't remember for the life of him where he'd heard it.

He followed it deeper and deeper into his subconscious mind, this red dress with its disembodied voice and invisible shoes before suddenly entering a massive anteroom. His eyes widened as he stared at the wide expanse of sheer space. His breath fogged in the air as it steadily got cooler, and Lavi wondered what he was doing here. It looked like an arena of sorts.

"I see you finally made it," a voice said, and Lavi turned around to face... himself. The young apparition was no longer fourteen or fifteen. He was now seventeen or eighteen, his jawline smooth and strong, with a head full of thick red hair, an eye patch, a green headband and an eye like a green, glass marble. He was wearing a crisp Order uniform, and he stood at parade rest, his feet apart with his hands behind his back.

"Wait... what are you doing here?" Lavi asked, watching his Bookman self as he circled around him, his counterpart doing the same. They watched each other warily.

Suddenly, something distracted Lavi, and he looked back behind him, the flash of scarves tearing his attention away from his adversary. This time, he knew that the scarves and the dress were one and the same, the bright red of bloody clothing. He quickly returned his attention to his opponent, only to realize that his opponent had disappeared. Lavi felt apprehensive as it seemed to get progressively darker within his subconscious mind.

"I don't think you get it." The voice was disembodied, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. Lavi merely stood there, aware that the bloody flashes of clothing were becoming more and more frequent.

"This is the place where all those little things you don't want anyone to know come to life. This is where they hide, and this is where they stay. This is the fringe where all those thoughts you _want _to think get discarded and shoved into the back of your head. You know, you used to live here. Maybe you're so uncomfortable because you're afraid you'll be stuffed back into your box," the voice stated in seething tones, and Lavi winced. At one time, he had been here, that was true, but the thing was he'd grown into the person he was today. The voice speaking, the apparition talking to him, the one that tormented him was actually himself. It wasn't a separate entity. It was just that part of him that didn't want to die, the Bookman that was clinging so desperately to remain the lead on the stage in the limelight, the one that was speaking and acting out everything. It was a manifestation of his Bookman tendencies and training, separated out through stress and confusion.

His train of thought was broken when he was aware of another presence of sorts. It wasn't an actual presence - merely another manifestation of his thoughts. He looked behind him slowly, locking eyes with Esperanza in her bloodied, tattered, soot-covered clothing. He could see home-made bombs around her waist and bits of human bone and grit in her hair. This was Esperanza at her worst, as the warrior woman he'd learned that she had been rather than the gentle, though firm, peacemaker who could calm a horse with mere words and sooth a ravaged soul with bright colored paper and a small birthday cake.

"You had to face up to the truth at some point or another. You know that this is your mental image of her from now on. You can't ever look at her the same," the voice said, a body attached as the apparition walked behind Esperanza, who was holding twin pistols in her hands as she stared at Lavi with steely, blue eyes. Behind her, Kanda suddenly stepped up from the shadows, charred and half-cooked, a half-baked Second Exorcist. Allen joined their ranks, distorting the world around him into a gruesome black-and-white amalgamation with his cursed vision. Lenalee, broken and pitiful, sobbed nearby, and Miranda, useless as always, wandered aimlessly.

"These are all the foolish people you love. Look at them all. Aren't they all pathetic? You know they are, and yet... you still hang on to them," the apparition stated. He stared at Lavi, the two copies glaring one another in the eye, and suddenly Lavi wondered if he was the fake and the other was real. The room seemed to twist as Lavi found himself indecisive. Did he really... truly... _love _these people? Could he? Should he? He looked at them all, at their worst states. Komui was killing people left and right with a robot, silly as can be yet looking deadlier for it. Timothy stole from a child, snatching food out of its mouth. Noise ignored a civilian as he cried out for help in order to protect one of the Exorcists instead. Chaoji attempted to strangle Allen, and instead Allen killed him with superior might.

And then, Lavi had a realization. _None of this was real. It was all his imagination._

His subconscious was tricking him into thinking that all of this was actually happening, that it had actually happened. It was so easy to believe that this was the real world, and that all these things were possible -

Just like that, Lavi knew how to get out of his own head, and he laughed. His subconscious seemed to light up like a stage after a performance when the audience leaves. All of the things he saw, all the people, they disappeared. All of the blood, gore, maiming, horrible acts, all of it disappeared. Only Lavi and his counterpart remained, with Esperanza fixed firmly in the same spot she'd been standing.

Lavi stared at her a few moments, and he asked himself, quite literally, "Why doesn't she leave?" Esperanza sat down, ignoring him. She sharpened a knife on a whetstone. The other Lavi shrugged.

"It's your subconscious. Maybe she likes it here. Maybe, to her, it's home." He gave him a look. "Maybe, because to you it's her home. It's where she belongs, at the back of your mind." Lavi had nothing to say to that. As he watched Esperanza continue to sharpen her knife and inspect it, the bits of bone dangling from her hair reminding him of gruesome hair ornaments, he asked, "And what about you? Why do you stick around?" The other Lavi blinked, and he frowned.

"I don't know. I'm not sure who was here first. All I know... we share this place. And we were the same person. We _are _the same person. I guess you just have problems, because you're arguing with yourself and losing," he answered. Lavi chuckled, closing his eyes as he savored that quip, but when he opened them, he realized he was in another, different memory. A happier one, he could tell, still in his subconscious, but in the portion that regularly cycled through previous memories without regard for which ones they were.

He watched as he, Kanda, Lenalee, and Allen all went out for a sundae in town. What a warm place it would be, with a sundae in hand as they toured the village with no greater cares other than what was for dinner and how much more ice cream they could afford as Lenalee would smile, Kanda and Allen would pick at each other, and Lavi would observe with the greatest interest and amazement at how much he could love people and still be as separate from them as oil from water.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Ooooookay, it's time for the recognition portion of our stories! Big thanks to janrockiss for his/her wonderful review over the previous chapter. We have a lot more subscribers on the bandwagon, with a grand total of 3 new, fresh people: janrockiss (again), BleachLuver2357, and bellaXmonster. Thank you, thank you, thank you for subscribing, as I love to know people love the story enough to keep tabs on it! On the favorites side, we have one newcomer, cottoncandydeath (oooh, death by confectionery, my favorite).

I am ecstatic to know that people are keeping up, especially with how busy school and everything can be, so I'd like to thank all the other, unnamed and unnoted readers out there that I can't address by name. I truly do appreciate you all reading this story. I write in order to please both myself and an audience, so I'm glad to know that there's a fair number of people in that audience.

I have also noted something of purport about reviews - sometimes you don't know what to talk about! You hit the review button, and you've got absolutely no idea what to put in the review after that. Like Afrikaan Voices, I am going to try to incorporate actual discussion questions in this section as to get your brain juices flowing. So, what was your favorite part of the story (as a whole)? What symbolism do you think you can pull out of Lavi's inner psyche? Do you think this 'Memory Palace' will be a plot point later on? Do you think that Lavi and Esperanza will survive past these next few chapters? And what do you think the Noah were doing at the lake on top of the mountain? What is your least favorite thing about the story (again, as a whole)?

Good day to you all, and happy reading! May you find words of great importance or thought, and carry on to have a blessed day!

-Doctor Yok


	14. Despertar

She woke up to the sound of food cooking. The smell filtered into the room, the delicious waft of meat and potatoes in a large pot. Esperanza slowly opened her eyes, the cold air chipping away at her exposed skin. She sat up slowly, the bed she sat on creaking under her shifting weight. She was underneath a blanket wearing an old night gown that looked like it'd been hand woven out of soft, worn wool. She rubbed the material through her fingers, looking around the room. Where was she? How did she get here?

The scarred woman viewed a room made of adobe brick. The walls were rounded at the corners, and the floor was made of uneven stone flags. She frowned, looking at the sparse furnishings, before realizing that she was not alone in her bed. She looked to the side, amazed to see her _amigo _still breathing next to her, softly twitching and frowning as his lips moved. She felt an overwhelming urge to reach over and touch him to make sure what she saw was truly real.

_"Senorita. Esta despierta."_ She blinked as she turned to the voice, and her eyes widened.

It was the priest. The man who had died on the mountain. How did he come to be here...?

His long, white-streaked black hair was braided, and his lined face was stretched with a smile. He held a chipped bowl full of soup, and Esperanza immediately attempted to stand up at the sight of actual food that _wasn't _canned. However, her legs were weak, and she collapsed to her knees on the cold floor in shock. The priest rushed forward to catch her elbow, holding her up with one firm hand. She looked up at him sheepishly, struggling to get her legs beneath.

"_Senor... what am I doing here?" _she asked in Spanish, and the man smiled with a hint of sadness. He led her back to the bed, and she sat down gingerly, trying to avoid waking up her friend.

_"I found you. In the snow. You were both nearly blue, very close to Death's door. I had thought I lost you, and especially him. He had a great fever later that night, and it raged for days. It only broke yesterday morning," _the man answered, gesturing to the redhead. Again, Esperanza had the urge to reach out to him and make sure he was there, that this was no dream. She felt cheated, all of a sudden, knowing that someone other than her had taken care of her _amigo,_ but she quickly suppressed the feeling. It was petty and pathetic. He received care, and that was all that mattered.

_"How long were we asleep?"_ she asked in a bit of a daze. It suddenly occurred to her that they must've been knocked out for quite a while. Of what she could see from the small window that was farther down a hallway, it was already daylight, maybe even midday if she meant to stretch it. The priest thought for a moment, counting on his fingers.

_"Five days. Maybe more than that." _Esperanza took a deep breath, rubbing her temples. They'd been... been asleep for nearly a week. She rubbed her forearm, feeling knots underneath the flesh. She felt disgust skitter over her skin, crawling along and making the little hairs stand up beneath the cloth of her borrowed nightgown. She looked up at the priest. She surveyed his lined face. He was in his late thirties, but he looked older. He had a face that grew better in appearance as it aged, gaining character and wisdom as the years passed by.

_"Hermano... how are you alive? I thought you were -"_

_"Dead? Heh, it will take much more to get rid of Hermano Federico. Oh, but if they didn't give me a sore back when I woke up, those demons,"_ Federico said with a light air, and Esperanza winced. She noticed that he had dodged her question, and she decided not to bring it up any longer. Perhaps some things were better left unsaid.

After several minutes of conversation, Esperanza ate her soup, relishing a flavor that was different from the dried, foul stuff she'd been eating for the past four and a half weeks.

_"You wish to inspect your friend, no? I've seen you eye him more than once, hermana. I know you worry. The church is sure to keep their soldiers close to each other," _Federico said, mouth half-full of soup. Esperanza was hesitant to approach Lavi, as she'd had to walk with some assistance to a table farther into the small, two room house in order to eat properly, and now she'd have to walk back without the Brother's help. She struggled to stand up, legs shaking, but she managed to remain upright. She slowly inched her way over to the bed, using the wall for support. The Father watched her with fascination and attentiveness, so that if she fell he would run in time to catch her. It was not needed, of course. Finally, she scooted around the bed, using it for stability, and she knelt down next to the low frame.

Lavi looked peaceful in sleep, muttering and sometimes moving. He had cuts on his face, but they were covered in a strange sort of paste and gauze. His skin was a healthy pink, a much better color than the ghastly white that had pigmented his skin the last time she'd laid eyes on him. She peeled back the blanket slowly so as not to wake him, and she bit her lip.

In the dark, she had not been able to get a good look at his wounds, only knowing that they were harsh and could possibly be deeper than just flesh and bone. Now, she could see their full extent in the light of day, and she was appalled. She kept her fingers clamped around the bedspread and the blanket in order to keep herself from touching the wounds that dotted his ribs and what she could see of his back.

The scars would be purple and ugly. They were too jagged and dark to heal correctly without serious medical help. They had been stitched and covered with the same paste that covered the cuts on his face. The deep lacerations were reddish along the sides before fading into purple-blue bruises, a sadistic artist's expression on skin. Her eyes traced back up to his face, and she was suddenly staring into a single, green eye.

"AH!" She fell over backwards as Lavi sat up and laughed. She stared at him in awe, wondering how he could just suddenly wake up and stay so still. He winced as he leaned up on one elbow, shaky but cheerful.

"Scared ya, didn't I? Man, that stings. Thought the devil was picking at me with a pitchfork there for a while. Oh! Sorry, Father, I didn't mean -"

"No offense taken, young one. Do be careful when speaking his name, however. He enjoys a party," the priest said. He looked to both Lavi and Esperanza, one in bed and the other on the floor. They looked slightly absurd, and the man chuckled before shuffling off to tend to his soup. He would leave the two to themselves. He trusted they would behave. Of course, there wasn't much Lavi could _do _in his state, though he wondered if he should put so much trust in injuries to curb young, passionate feelings.

He'd seen it the minute Esperanza had woken up. There was some sort of unspoken tension between the two, something that he knew must grate against _her _skin and chafe against _his. _Still, he shrugged. If they had not confronted it yet, perhaps now was the time.

_"Hermanita, su vestido,"_ he stated with a good natured smile, and Esperanza blushed as she realized her dress had climbed up to about mid thigh from falling over. Lavi laughed as he collapsed back on to the bed, and the old priest disappeared. Esperanza watched him leave with a look of longing, as if she wished that he could be here as a buffer between her and Lavi. She wondered how he felt. The last thing she remembered, she'd been near dead in the snow, and from the drag marks she remembered she must've saved Lavi in that space of time she could not remember.

"_Amigo..._how are you?" she asked hesitantly, the silence finally becoming too heavy. He stretched his arms out, and he winced. He rubbed his face, the skin contorting as he stretched his cheeks. Stubble pricked against his fingers, and he sighed, "I've been better. I was more worried about you. I woke up yesterday." Esperanza's eyes widened in surprise. She'd been asleep longer than he had?

"I guess I recuperated a little faster than you did. Then again, you practically came back from the dead, if Federico is right," Lavi stated nonchalantly, scratching his head and ruffling his mussed hair. His eye patch was slightly skewed, but none of his mysterious eye was revealed. She frowned. He had been well enough to speak with Federico, even. This was awfully odd. How was it that this man, after only four days, had gone from a vegetative state to a highly-functional human being?

"What... happened?" she asked. Lavi scratched at his chin again, thinking hard, before stating, "He didn't say how he got away, but he did say that he was monitoring the camp. He searched through my bag, and he found my golem so he was able to report back to the church. It was broken a while back after I'd accidentally dropped it down that cliff, but he managed to figure out how to fix it." Esperanza nodded.

"And what did he see?" Lavi was suddenly hesitant. She could see it in his face. There was this unspoken twitch of the face, some sort of facial cue, that seemed to immediately convey reluctance. He put his hands in his lap, and he looked away from her. She tilted her head to the side, hair brushing against her side as she moved. Lavi was quiet for a while, and he finally told her, "He said that he was watching when they dragged us in. There's a ridge nearby that overlooks the camp, one that they didn't know about because they hadn't gone any higher than the lake itself. He watched everything."

"Everything?"

"...Everything." She chewed over this for a few moments more, masticating her thoughts like carefully flavored food that had hints of taste she couldn't place. There was something sour and salted about all of this, a hint of blandness. The priest had not helped them at all, only when the battles were over. However, that may have been for the best. Had he not stayed out of the fight perhaps he might've been injured or killed, therefore removing them from his role as caretaker of both wounded Exorcists. Still, she felt a small seed of resent blare annoyance and question over the priest's inaction.

"Esperanza... I don't know how you managed to stay alive," Lavi said softly. He rubbed his eye, his fingers pressing against the lid as if he wanted to rub the images out of his head. He looked back at the worn woman sitting next to the bed. He patted the bed, offering her a spot, and she hesitantly sat down gingerly on the bed. Lavi surveyed her in the nightgown, noting that beyond the fabric of the hem, he could see bits of metal almost seeming to grow out of her skin, the same metal that would've made up her shape-shifting, metallic equipment type Innocence. Perhaps the Innocence had saved her, the way it had saved Allen and Lenalee, taking on a life of it's own. He documented this carefully for later analysis, suddenly realize that, perhaps at last, he'd fallen into his old Bookman ways.

"He told me that they'd shot you six times. He watched you fall over the side of the cliff, but he didn't see you hit the bottom. He thinks you might've landed in the river, but I told him that you couldn't swim. He told me that God had created bigger miracles than saving a young woman who'd been shot," Lavi said slowly. "He watched them start draining and opening the lake and the river. He said that he always knew they were looking for something, he just didn't know what. And now, he thinks that they have it."

There was a quiet pause.

"Esperanza, they're gone. The entire camp's either dead or they fled. Even Lulu Bell left. That either means they got what they want or you scared them off enough that they didn't want to risk lingering," Lavi stated in a matter of fact manner. Esperanza licked her dry lips as she asked, "What do you mean, that I scared them off?" They watched each other with wary eyes, noting the other's body language and hesitance. Esperanza seemed to practically hold her breath.

"After you'd been shot, you came back. And you destroyed most of the camp." He glanced at her wrist, eying the slivers of metal sticking out of the skin like small, quicksilver scales. Her Innocence had seemed to kill in a swarm that night, the priest had said. Like a whirlwind of shards. Some men were spared, some men were not, but they both had a hunch that the unlucky ones were akuma in disguise. Lavi itched his cheek with a finger, feeling the sharp prickles intently as he tried to get his mind off the idea that Esperanza may have killed even more people than she already had, albeit against her will.

"What do we do now, then?" Esperanza finally stated after a pause, very business-like. Her face was a mask, carefully built to conceal all emotional discord or disturbance. "If the Noah are no longer here on the mountain, we should go back. And what of Darrin? You have said nothing of him, _amigo_." Lavi frowned as he realized he hadn't even thought to ask for Darrin. The priest had made no mention of the old man, and he wondered if he had escaped the mayhem.

"He never said anything about Darrin. Still, he told me that we're supposed to just stay around here, recuperate. He wants us healthy before we try to travel down to the town. Federico told me he'd actually rather stay here in this house. It's his mother's, and he'd almost forgotten about it until he'd gone to investigate all the disappearances for the Church."

Suddenly, they heard footsteps, and they looked towards the doorway. Federico stood with two bowls of soup in hand, and he smiled.

"_Tengo unas comidas por ustedes. _I knew you'd both be hungry," the priest said, walking towards them with the food. Esperanza licked her lips nervously, eying the food. She'd never been this hungry before. Lavi was less enthusiastic. His stomach turned at the thought of food, memories slowly coming back to him, memories he'd been careful to stow away for the time being when he'd realized he could package them and put them away in his new memory palace.

He'd had yet to actually sit down and meditate like Bookman had recommended all those weeks ago. Just as Bookman had warned, he'd ended up starting to fragment his mind involuntarily, and the encounter with Esperanza and the Other Bookman Jr. had brought that into full light. He swallowed, feeling sick again as he thought about the disgusting visage of Esperanza with her hair matted with blood and her face scarred with deep pocks. He was overcome with many different past scenarios, suddenly, bright and vivid in which food had played a part, especially the ones that turned his stomach and rocked his nose.

Immediately, he started to bolt out of the bed as he felt bile rise in his stomach, a slew of senses overtaking him as synesthesia of the strangest sort overcame him. He leaned out a window and emptied the contents of his stomach. Esperanza rushed over to him as quick as she could hobble while the priest set down both bowls and ran to Lavi.

"_Amigo...amigo, _what's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you sick?" Esperanza asked, and Lavi panted and waved her away. She leaned against the wall and looked on in vexation as he said, "Just... food... makes me... I feel... just, really... really sick... Too many senses... senses at once..." The smell of food had brought on a myriad of other memories, most of them unpleasant, and his stomach had roiled at the feeling of a dozen phantom senses bombarding his brain. Esperanza led him away as the priest picked up an old rag and wiped off his face. They sat him down on the bed, and the priest said, "Perhaps you should rest for a while. You have been sick. I do not think your stomach is ready for food just yet." Lavi lay down, and he took a deep breath.

Apparently, he wasn't out of the woods yet.

* * *

><p>Meditation requires patience, focus, and the ability to endure sitting still for many hours. Lavi felt like he had none of those at the moment.<p>

He wasn't quite sure how Kanda managed to do it, and it didn't seem to help the samurai's mood, either. Maybe his mood was bad _because _he sat for two or more hours just thinking about a single thing. Or maybe his mood did get better, which meant that his mood _without _meditating was about fifteen times worse than if he had. That was a scary thought.

The redhead squeezed his eyes shut and tried to get back on track. He was sitting on a stump outside of the priest's house, staring out across the expanse of the mountain. If he wasn't careful, though, he'd open his eyes a crack and take a peek at the mountain. And then he'd get distracted. Which meant he had to start _all _over again. Lavi slumped and sighed as he stared at the sky.

He hadn't had to do meditations since he was twelve. Back then he'd been more cynical and infinitely more lazy, if that was even possible. Usually he wasn't actually _meditating _then, of course - more like, he was taking a cat nap while Bookman sat there and watched him to make sure he didn't just get up and leave. However, when he had made an effort, he'd managed to get some sort of inner focus going. It seems as age had taken its toll, he'd lost his ability to focus. He felt like a fidgety child trying to sit still during church and focus on the liturgy that was being spoken in a language he honestly did not understand nor cared to learn.

He'd been trying to meditate for days. They'd already stayed another week at the cottage owned by the priest, and so far he'd recovered enough to take short walks outside and maybe stomach down a piece of bread or two, though not much more. The very smell of cooking food sent him reeling with a bunch of other senses. He'd never realized it, but his sense of smell was one of his most sensitive to memories, and it tended to bring back past experiences more than any other sense. This in itself wasn't bad - he could pinpoint bad things he remembered from prior experiences just by how the situation smelled, at least for now. This wasn't so good in the realm of food.

His sense of smell was also disrupting his ability to concentrate because he could smell the pine and the juniper and the new grass and the cottage's earthy aroma. He closed his eyes, tried to concentrate again on another single, lone thought, and he found himself failing miserably. There was too much to think about at the moment, and he couldn't seem to empty his mind. He grumbled to himself as he leaned his cleanshaven chin into his hand, resting his elbow on his knee. He chewed on his bottom lip, deciding it was no use. He was just going to sit here and do nothing. That was it.

Wait... wasn't that basically meditating?

Lavi deliberated this for a moment, but then he decided that was shirking, and heaven knew what happened when he shirked. He was in this mess becuase he shirked! He closed his eyes and felt the dim, clouded over sunlight in his face, enjoying the fleeting warmth. He smiled a little bit, loving any sort of warmth -

He suddenly smelled something else. He frowned to himself, not bothering to open his eyes. What was that smell? It was familiar and drifting towards him, not like the concentrated smell of crushed pine needles and juniper berries that were around him at the edges of the forest. It was the smell of laundry, a muted hint of home-made soap, and an aroma he'd never been able to pinpoint but always had associated with the scent of sunshine. His eyes shot open as he realized that he knew that smell. He got up and began to turn around to look at her -

He was accidentally jettisoned into his memory palace, recognizing the more-than-real walls of his mental manifestation of memories. He swallowed, looking around, wondering how exactly he'd gotten into the place. He knew that last time, he had merely retreated here out of necessity. This time, he'd come here accidentally, and he wondered what his body was doing outside.

The memory he viewed... He realized that he was actually watching everything from an outside perspective, and he swallowed deeply. He couldn't cover his eyes. This was the one room, one compartment, of which he'd hoped to escape and forget. Of course, that was stupid. He couldn't _ever _forget anything. It was in his training.

The memory-Lavi sat on a log next to Esperanza, and the woman suddenly stretched out, her back popping in several places. He could remember everything about this encounter - what she was wearing, what he was wearing, what she smelled like (the trigger of the memory, that trigger that had started this nightmare), what they'd drank, where they'd been, all of his thoughts but none of hers. It was a strange, almost one-sided memory that was being viewed from the outside. He knew everything about the man sitting on the log, all of his worries and fears and accomplishments, but he knew absolutely nothing about the woman other than that she was his partner, his student to an extent, and a murderer of innocents and... and that he actually might _like _her.

_"Ir a voy a acostarme," _Esperanza slurred together, and she got up. A phantom pang of panic raced across Lavi's skin like a bad high, and he knew what would happen next. Memory-Lavi's eye widened in utter terror, and he stumbled to his feet, shouting, "WAIT! Wait, wait, wait!" His movements were clumsy and dulled as he scrambled over the log, falling on his face, and snagged Esperanza's hand. Her face was slightly blurry as Lavi realized that he didn't know what her face had looked like - it'd been too dark. He watched as his memory self held her wrists and pulled her towards himself, embracing her like a child who'd just lost his mother and had found her again.

He knew that her body was stiff, and her countenance was one of confusion. Finally, though, he watched as she hugged his memory-self back, and they began to trip and bumble their way back to the log they'd sat on.

"Sorry," his memory self muttered.

_"Es bien," _the Spanish woman answered.

Lavi bit his lip as he realized he knew what was going to come next, and he'd better find a way to get out of the memory. He closed his eyes, blocking out the next scene, the one he was ashamed of, and he tried to think of something else, but here was the part where he was trying to explain himself, and he knew every word that had run through his little, befuddled, stupid, idiotic, drunken head. He wondered why he'd even bothered?

He tried to think of another memory, any other memory, but the smell of campfires, soap, and juniper only seemed to lead back to this moment in time. He couldn't recall anything else, and he wondered if he could run from this memory into another one.

He desperately scrambled for something else, anything else, as he began hearing the sounds of lips meeting lips, hormones clashing, hands reaching -

He suddenly turned, imagining a door or a path or a portal, anything that would take him somewhere else, and he took whatever he had imagined.

His sense of hearing came back first. He could hear someone speaking to him, but the voice was muffled and low as if he were trapped in a box. His smell came back, and the familiar scent of soap came back again. His touch returned, coming back with the feeling of the forest floor and fingers on his neck. He regained movement, and he pushed away from the smell of soap, the smell he loathed now, the smell he couldn't bear to be around because it brought back so much shame and failure. He flailed his hands about as he started to scramble upwards into the light. His eyes opened, and he stared into Esperanza's shocked face. A red mark was already forming where his knuckles had made contact with the skin, and it took Lavi a few moments to process that he'd just punched the only actual friend he had out here in the wilderness.

"Esperanza... Esperanza, I'm so sorry," Lavi said, brushing the side of her face with his fingertips, but jerking them back as if he'd touched something treacherously hot. She shook her head, absolutely unfazed by the fact he'd hit her. He wondered if that was due to her submissive nature or because she'd expected something like it from a flailing invalid.

"I am more worried about you, _amigo._ You got up to turn to me when I walked towards you, and you immediately fell. I had thought something went wrong inside of you," she said, tapping his chest and his head for clarification. Lately, they'd noticed that Lavi was prone to taking dizzy spells every now again, and they weren't sure why. They had no idea if it was permanent or not.

Esperanza's eyes were suddenly steely. The blue clashed with green as she narrowed her eyes and said, "You talk in your sleep,_ amigo._ I hope you realize that." Lavi blinked. He hadn't been aware that he talked in his sleep... but about what? The look on her face froze him cold. The secret disgust of her was coming out. She knew about how much she represented his failure and inability to control his own mind. Did she?

"You must tell me everything. Lavi, I will not allow us to keep each other in the dark," she stated vehemently, taking him firmly by the shoulders as she lifted him upright into a sitting position. Lavi knew she was serious now - she'd used his name, or the only semblance of a name he possessed. He nodded numbly. She would ask questions with answers she probably didn't want to hear. She didn't know what she was doing...

"Esperanza -"

"No buts, _amigo. _No buts. I need to know, and I need to know now what is wrong with you, and what is wrong with me. I know you have shied from my touch before - as a young man, that is normal. But you also look at me in this... this... this guilty way that _teine muy hambre. _Is so hungry. From you, that is strange. And I must know," Esperanza stated in a voice that was riveted tight with no space to argue. She did have a right to know, though hungry wasn't a word Lavi would call his glances at her. More like... like... Actually, hungry _was _a good word.

"All right, all right. I'll... I'll tell you everything," Lavi sighed, and in half-amused thought, he wondered how this woman could manage to wring the truth from him so easily with just a few words and a single encounter? Kanda could do as much, but he needed a sword and a foul mood to accomplish it. Allen was good, too, by coaxing it out, but even he didn't get a full story.

Damn womanly wiles. That had to be it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Shew, this is a record breaker. I finished this one in a little over two days. Ha!

Enough about that. We have a small number of new reviewers, subscribers, and favorites. On Team Favorite, we have one new player (correct me if I'm wrong): janrockiss! A familiar face, I remember she also submitted a review quite a while ago. On Team Subscribe, we have one more new player (again, correct me if I'm wrong): Kai-chan94! Again, a familiar face, seeing as this person is also on Team Review and Team Favorite. Apparently, fraternizing with the enemy is pretty common. And finally, on Team Review, we have, again, janrockiss and Kai-chan94! Sheesh, those guys are on a roll.

Well, I'm glad people are still reading. It makes me smile, knowing that there are still people out there who love me (or, at the least, the story). I cryeth tears of joy!

The next few chapters may be slow, I apologize. A lot of it is going to be inner reflection, and I may experiment with a literary style or two on different chapters (keep in mind, I _am _an aspiring writer, so I will try out new things every now and again - I apologize if that throws anybody off).

Hopefully, I'll the next few out in a bit! God bless, and happy reading!

-Doctor Yok


	15. Alcanzado

**A Month Later**

The streets were drizzly, despite the fact the sun had shone brightly the day before. The city seemed sleepy and lethargic under the cover of rain clouds, and the vendors half-heartedly called out to those passersby who braved the chilly, water-logged air. Lavi leaned inside of an alcove, waiting. He gazed out, feeling dread put a weight in his stomach that made it twist and pull down to the ground. He didn't want to be standing here in the rain and the cold. He missed Argentina, where it was dry and warm and familiar. He missed Chuleta, even though he was stabled back at the hotel. He missed predictable weather. He loved being in a city of people, but he hated the noise that they made at night when the rain finally decided to stop.

A month before, he'd been in a cabin on the top of a mountain, a vast change from the usually bustling metropolis around him. Even though there had just been Esperanza, Brother Federico, and himself, he hadn't minded it. Even with the quiet climes of Argentinian mountains, however, his mind continued to split and fracture, and Esperanza finally rooted the truth from him.

She had been less than pleased.

"You stupid, stupid boy! I could've helped you, but you did not tell me! I just went around, doing what I did, not knowing what was going on, heads nor tails, and_ tu vas y no hablas sobre lo!_ _Que te pasa? Como hiciste no me dices sobre este? Estoy muerta de preocupacion y tu estaba te niega -!"_

"Uh, Esperanza, I don't know what you're saying. You slipped into Spanish again."

In all honesty, she could've handled it much worse. He got a long, long lecture, but then they started talking about how to prevent the blackouts from happening. He tended to completely 'lose the present' whenever a certain smell was in the air (which most usually was Esperanza's soap, which they agreed she should stop using), and other dejavu events tended to throw him into that inert state. They had managed to minimize the blackouts to five every two weeks, but Lavi was still having issues keeping his memories from blurring. However, it seemed that they had things under control... for now.

"I need to find Bookman," Lavi had told Esperanza the day they'd left Brother Federico's house on Church orders. After hearing of Esperanza's miraculous recovery from near-death, the Science Department said that they needed to inspect her as well as get a full report from Lavi about the incident with the Noah. Their headquarters happened to be in Sao Paulo, a good couple of thousand miles from their current location. Lavi had already sent out a message to Bookman over his fixed golem. He had yet to respond, but Lavi had expected that. His last recollection of the old man (of which he could remember in perfect clarity) was of the old man stepping onto a boat to China to look up something from an ancient text that had escaped the Bookman clan's scrutiny.

The trip to Sao Paulo had been rather uneventful. No attacks, no problems, three blackouts that had all happened during the night and had seemed more like dreams. Esperanza definitely made it easier now that she kept a safe distance from Lavi, avoided physical contact, and stopped wearing her distinctive soap. Still, there was always that nagging worry that one day, Lavi was going to wake up a different person, and the person that was 'Lavi' would be stuffed into the back of the Bookman Junior's mind like so many other personalities. Despite the fact that neither Lavi nor Esperanza stated this fear, it still seemed to whisper between them when they looked to each other. He could tell whenever those blue eyes surveyed him that they were searching for Lavi the person, wondering if that was who he was now.

They'd roomed in different hotels on the Black Order's command. Lavi had not appreciated it, but he followed it nonetheless. Their reasoning behind it was that the Noah now knew both their faces, along with the drug lord Dominguez, if he had survived. To have a drug lord after their hides was dangerous, and they'd need to keep a low profile, but Lavi wasn't overly concerned with that. This was a city of over a hundred thousand. Finding them would be like trying to find two needles in... well, a stack of needles. What better way to hide a book than in a library, after all?

And now, he stood out in the rain, waiting. The city had unpredictable weather and had long held the nickname 'The Land of Drizzle'. They sat mere miles from the sea, and Lavi could smell it from where he stood. He looked down the road, watching a tram, a fairly new invention, trundle up the road with its load of people. There weren't many cars about. Public transport ruled here, along with the bicycle and the horse. Automobiles had yet to catch on. Walking was usually kept to a minimum on rainy days like these, and Lavi could see why. He suddenly wished that he had Kanda with him. He found it odd that on days where he felt depressed or lonely, he wanted that dour-faced samurai around. It made him feel better, in a weird way, to know that someone was more annoyed than he was.

Lavi's mind strayed as he waited, heading down another path. Something had been eating him ever since he'd come back from Argentina, something that wouldn't quit nagging him. Federico had told him that the thing the Noah were looking for was most likely either hidden at a different location, or it had been removed prior to them arriving there. Lavi had peered through Order records, some of which only he had access to, and he'd found some rather... interesting documents.

They spoke of an artifact, a lost Noah technology that was close in caliber to the Ark. The lake that they'd been to, El Lago del Condemnos, was actually only one stop among many for the Noah. For whatever reason, the technology had been hidden by some unknown force, perhaps the Order in its early days. At the bottom of the lake was a certain type of recording or document, an account of where the artifact might be. It had been put at the bottom of the lake, and the lake was dammed in such a way as to look natural. Lulu must've unleashed the water, creating a flood that cascaded down the mountain and filled the river below. She had done it discreetly so as to keep attention from her activities, but not enough to hide the fact that the river had all of a sudden swelled with water that it had not possessed before.

But, it seemed that they didn't find the document. Lavi and Esperanza saw men wandering the camp from the high ridge where Federico had spied the events of the week before. They were still looking, although in a half-hearted fashion. Lulu and Dominguez had been nowhere in sight, and that was either a blessing or a curse. Darrin was also missing. They had no idea where the man and his donkey had gone. The last Lavi remembered seeing him was before they'd left for the ruins. Everything else was a blur, and sometimes he woke up sweating, remembered pain lancing through his bones. He recalled being tortured all too well., some nights. He just wished he could remember what else happened after that.

Actually, technically he _could _bring into recall all that had transpired, but he was worried of getting lost. Just another reason he need Bookman. He shivered as he thought about going into such a painful memory on his own. Bookman had once made mention of something along the lines of a double memory manifestation - of a person going into a memory with another person acting as an anchor if the memory was too painful or too vivid. He couldn't quite remember, however, if that was what it was, and he had been hoping that Bookman could confirm this.

"_Amigo."_ Lavi felt a smile spread on his face as he stepped into the falling drizzle. The labored, huffing voice he knew well. Esperanza trotted up to him, a shadow of a smile on her face. It was too rainy for her to be actually smiling - he'd only seen her do it once, when she'd seen her family at the bottom of the mountain. He'd finally been able to meet Esperanza's mother then, a woman whose Inca heritage showed blatantly on her long nose and her liquid black eyes. She looked well and happy, smiling at Esperanza. The young woman had run to her mother, hugging her tightly, and Lavi finally saw one of her rare, real smiles.

"Hey, Ranza. How're you doing?" he asked. Esperanza had been sick for the past two days, sniffling and coughing. The city's ever-changing climate didn't agree with Esperanza's arid, dry temperaments. She shrugged her shoulders, and she stated in English, "I've been better." At times Esperanza would talk to Lavi completely in Spanish, feeling uncomfortable in the entirely Portuguese speaking city. He could tell she was homesick and irritated, especially seeing as she was alone by herself in her hotel. He wished he could room at least across the hall, but the Order had been adamant.

"What did they say?" Lavi asked, hesitant. "The meds?" Esperanza looked confused, and Lavi realized he'd used English slang for the Infirmary Department workers. She'd been to the Infirmary every day after she'd arrived in Sao Paulo. It had initially scared the both of them the minute they'd entered the Order HQ when several doctors swarmed around her and started to lead her away from Lavi in a frenzied state of excitement. Lavi had to resist the urge to fight his way through the doctors, and it looked like Esperanza herself was about to throw a few of them in frustration.

"They have only seen one thing like this, from your friend Allen. They said that I was technically dead for a few minutes." She stated the last sentence with annoyance in the hoity-toity voice of the doctors. "And then my Innocence shattered the minute I was, what do they say... _clinically _dead. It fixed my bones, and I... I was..." Esperanza's frame shuddered for a moment. Lavi had the urge to touch her, to make her feel less alone, but he knew that for them that was dangerous, in more ways than one. He could only imagine what they'd told her.

"I was not dead anymore. I was somewhere in between, not quite alive and not quite dead either. They told me that the metal from _Creacion Metalico _melded my bones back together very forcefully, and that is why I am still so sore," she said, scuffing one boot against the ground in an ornery fashion. She wore a skirt these days along with a blouse and a long overcoat. The Order had not issued her a uniform - they had other Exorcists to worry about at the moment, ones that were older and more seasoned than Esperanza. The underfunded South America branch had only three or four women in their Exorcist division, two of which had uniforms. Esperanza was the one of the unlucky ones, along with another Peruvian woman named Ofelia. The Order had also mandated that she wear a long skirt and blouse, as befit a woman of the area. As he thought about this, he tugged on his own uniform coat. Lavi thought that this was dumb, considering Lenalee wore a skirt that practically revealed the shorts she had on underneath, and no one said anything.

Of course, she was the Branch Head's sister, but...

"What about your Innocence? Can they fix it?" Lavi asked. They'd managed to extract the silver fragments from her skin. He'd sat there and held her hand as they'd pulled out each one, a wince on her face every time they yanked. She was bandaged over most of her arms, some of her torso, and both legs from the cavities left behind. Changing the bandages must be a pain, especially considering she was alone.

Esperanza shrugged, her face the usual reserved mask of calm. Lavi tried to eye the tumultuous layer underneath, but she was too good at hiding her thoughts. She said, "I do not know, _amigo. _They don't tell me very much." She rubbed her arms, shivering from the chill, and Lavi almost pulled off his own coat for her. However, he thought better of it as he realized he was doing it again - that _fondness _thing. Lavi took a step back, figuratively, and made sure to keep his hands mentally shackled. Getting too close was like sticking his hands near a flame. Eventually, he'd get burned again.

Still, when you're starved for warmth, you'll do anything for it, even grab fire.

"Lenalee managed to get hers fixed. I heard that Allen's eventually reformed into a better form. Mine and Kanda's were reforged after fighting in the Ark. I think yours will pull itself together in no time," Lavi said with a bright smile that he didn't really feel. If she ended up like Lenalee, a Crystal type... He shuddered. Blood as the medium for an Innocence - it was both disgusting and fascinating. He didn't like to think too hard on it. Perhaps it was only broken the same way Kanda's and his had been, but in his mind he knew he was kidding himself. Theirs had not come literally alive, protecting the user and destroying everything in its path. Something told Lavi that Esperanza's Innocence was going to take on a scary, different form, one that he'd be much less comfortable seeing. Esperanza was scary enough as it was, some days.

He recalled seeing her at a shooting range with regular pistols. It'd been sunny, bright... He slipped into the memory, carefully keeping tabs on the present, seeing everything through two sets of eyes. She'd shot at the target several times, the Order's shooting range shuddering with sound as the pistol smoke died down. Lavi watched from a safe distance, putting up binoculars. Every shot of Esperanza's had hit the target somewhere, but a good proportion managed to put several holes between the legs. Several of the Science Department guys had quivered visibly next to him as they passed around their own pair of binoculars.

He made another mental note to never make Esperanza angry at him. _Ever. _

"_Amigo, _you are smiling. What is so funny?" Lavi shook his head, and he said, "Come on. You wanted to go to that Italian restaurant, right? Let's go already, then!" Lavi dragged her out into the rain despite her half-baked protests, and they quickly crossed the street as a tram approached. They entered the Italian restaurant, savoring the smells of braised beef and pasta cooking in vast pots somewhere in the kitchen. Lavi had learned that, as of late, Esperanza had developed a tongue for pasta, something she'd never had before. Lavi tried to treat her to pasta when he could, a sort of apology for ignoring her for nearly two weeks. He'd seen her off and on since they'd reached Sao Paulo, saying hello before awkwardly going about their way. When they had a single day, Lavi usually took her some place to catch up on things.

And also, to plan on courses of action that were better left unspoken in the Order halls.

They were discreetly searching for the artifact that had eluded them at the Lake of the Condemned. In addition to finding articles on the artifact, they were also searching for Darrin. It was an extra-Order mission for them both. By all technicality, they should be focusing on recuperating and waiting on orders, but neither Lavi nor Esperanza were the type to just sit and twiddle their thumbs. While Lavi had been pouring over article after article of information, Esperanza had been asking around, calling friends of hers in the Rio Seco area, checking up on things.

When they had reached Rio Seco nearly two weeks before, the town had changed. There were several new graves, which the locals attributed to bad luck from the sudden influx of water into the dry riverbed, as well as a very haggard doctor who had no idea what was going on. Dominguez was nowhere to be found, and no one had heard from his family either. All of his daughters were already married, save the one who had celebrated her birthday while Lavi and Esperanza had been in attendance. She was also nowhere to be found, though they had heard rumors that she had taken ill and was now convalescing at a very opulent hospital in the mountains of Peru. Miguel, the cattle rancher and sheriff, had been found, dead out in the desert with only his badge for identification. Esperanza had been heartbroken over the loss of a friend, and Lavi had done his best to keep her mood up. The town had been in turmoil and would remain in turmoil for several more months until another drug lord established some sort of skewed version of order.

They had visited the Traveling Guide's Village, and there were only five men pitched at the edge of town. The others had left for safer, more stable locales. It didn't help that the winter snows had started to come, which meant hardly any work for them. No one would want a guide over the mountain passes in the snow, not unless they were desperate. Only one had seen Darrin, a small man from Bolivia with a hawk-nose and bright, black eyes like those of a beetle.

"Where did he go? Do you know? Did he take anything with him?" Esperanza had asked anxiously, and the unctuous little man stated, "Yes, yes, _senorita, _I see him before, I tell in _espanol, _yes?" He eyed Lavi with distrust, and Lavi took the hint, walking away with a sick feeling in his stomach. People tended to stare at him with greater disdain these days in Rio Seco, and he felt alienated and unwelcome. Even the children neglected to play with him, fearing the glares of their mothers and the scoldings of their fathers. He was _mala suerte._ Bad luck.

The last person they had spoken to in Rio Seco had been Rico, the head of the Inca-descended village on the mountain. He had pitched his own tent on the edge of town, though not in the Traveling Guide's Village like he usually did. Something told the both of them that Rico meant to speak to them more than snag a few travelers wanting to go over the mountains into the verdant towns on the other side. They had had trouble translating what he was saying, as he spoke a little modern Spanish and a mix of quechua and medieval Spanish. After a while, they pieced together what had happened.

Darrin had entered the small Inca town, shell-shocked and weary. They'd kept him for three days, and he'd told them all that had happened. They had noticed that he had an object with him, a strange sort of bronze cylinder. He refused to let anyone touch it, saying it was very bad luck and that someone had tasked him with keeping it. Darrin said no more on the matter, refusing to even acknowledge the artifact, and Lavi knew that that cylinder was what they were looking for. Somehow, Darrin had managed to find the artifact before the Noah and the Akuma could, and he'd figured out what it was and how important it must be.

They weren't searching for him only for the cylinder with its miraculous accounts and such. No, they also needed to know that their friend was all right, in more ways than one. Rico had hinted that Darrin, when he'd left the village, had not been all together in his mind. The stress of saving the two Exorcists, along with watching them nearly fight to the death, had somewhat shattered his psyche.

And now, here in this rainy city, the two were conferring to pool all their knowledge. They couldn't do so in the Order - the bureaucrats would get too antsy about pissing off the Vatican, especially if it was about more funding, and they'd be called on to stop the search, despite the fact that finding the document and the artifact the document pertained to probably exceeded all priorities at present, money included.

Esperanza ordered herself a plate of angel's hair pasta with marinara sauce, while Lavi only asked for a cup of coffee. He still had yet to regain his appetite, and the smells coming from the kitchen were enough to give him a bad headache that was mounting to a migraine and a stomach that refused to stay still. Esperanza eyed him, noting that he was slowly turning white with effort, trying hard to keep control of his stomach. Esperanza suddenly wondered if Lavi had even eaten since they'd come to Sao Paulo. When she'd been able to tend to him, she'd forced him to eat foods that had no smell or little taste (though Lavi loathed the practice). He was definitely skinnier, and she felt a pang of worry. He would only get worse if this continued.

"I haven't found a whole lot of new information," Lavi admitted, leaning his elbows on the table. Esperanza situated her skirt across her legs nervously. She always felt strange, sitting here in a restaurant with Lavi. It felt too much like an intimate rendezvous, and a guilty one at that, considering they were defying Church mandate to be here.

"Neither have I, _amigo._" Her plate of food came up almost immediately, and she took it thankfully. She was starved. Lavi watched her dig her fork into the pasta with a pang of envy and a bit of disgust. He covered his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of nausea hit him, and Esperanza held her fork midway to her mouth as she watched him.

"_Amigo... _perhaps we should move this outside," she stated plainly, always blunt. Lavi looked up at her, knowing that she was foregoing pasta for his comfort, and he suddenly felt absurd. He waved a hand, smiling wanly.

"You eat first. I'll be fine." He nursed his cup of coffee while she ate, and finally they were calling for the check. The lunch had passed in somewhat amiable silence, despite feeling awkward due to Lavi's current problems and Esperanza's shame, now that Lavi was aware of certain portions of her past that she would rather keep in the dark.

At last, they got down to what they really needed to talk about.

"I have called several different hotels, and I have one lead. He booked a night in Buenos Aires about three weeks ago, and then he traveled with a small group of travelers to a small town in Peru, not sure of the name. It's in quechua. After that, he must've gone west. I think he's trying to reach the United States, as he's been going north. He could be on a boat right now, headed towards Texas," Esperanza said, her face downcast. Lavi sighed.

"Which means we've lost him and the document," he breathed. Esperanza nodded.

"Yes. I am afraid so. We can ask for a grant to follow the trail by messaging directly to the European Branch, but I am afraid that perhaps they will be... more forceful in the retrieval of the document by sending CROW. I would not want that, especially if Darrin fights back," Esperanza worried, her face dark in the dim lighting of the Italian restaurant. Lavi sighed. That was all too likely. They might actually have to track him down themselves. Perhaps Lavi could convince the Church to send a few Exorcists after the man.

Lavi looked up at Esperanza as she contemplated the check, holding it between thumb and forefinger while scrutinizing it with a furrow of her brows and the ever-present deadpan set to her mouth. Her eyes looked deeper set in her head, as if she'd not slept well. Her hair was bound back in a ponytail, slicked back to show her high forehead. She'd covered up her scars with a gratuitous amount of make up, making her look oddly _off _to Lavi, as if he weren't speaking to Esperanza but some sort of strange copy. He suddenly felt sad, as if the Esperanza he knew was being suppressed and buried under layers of expectations and the environment she occupied. He missed it when she wore pants and was reckless, yet at the same time stolid and stoic. She seemed so much shakier now that her health was declining, and he hated to see someone so strong be pulled down by the world around her. She looked so uncomfortable here, so out of place.

Suddenly, Esperanza looked up at him, and he looked into her eyes for a brief moment. And, there, he knew it. They both were neglecting themselves, destroying themselves in little ways, and neither of them would admit it. The truth of it was there in the gaze they held, but they couldn't bear to say anything.

Or so he thought.

"Lavi... we can't keep doing this," she whispered. She reached across the table, but she stopped her hand, remembering propriety and Lavi's particular disposition at the moment.

"Esper-"

"Do not lie to me. I know you have not been eating. You're thinner. Your clothes are rumpled. Lavi, we need to find Bookman, and soon. When is he coming? I can not leave you like this," she said sternly, and Lavi realized that he'd underestimated this woman yet again. Just because she wasn't wearing a duster and her wide-brimmed hat nor revealed her scars and carried a gun meant she was any less strong than the day he'd met her. Even broken and batter as her mind and body happened to be, he should've guessed that she'd still have that sure fire way of making him sweat bullets when she gave him that cold, steely blue stare.

"And what about you? You haven't been sleeping either. I bet you've been having nightmares," Lavi shot back, suddenly wounded that she'd actually question his ability to take care of himself. A wave of nausea set in, but he fought it off as he continued the battle of wills taking place between their stares.

"You haven't been brushing your teeth," Esperanza said, raising an eyebrow.

"You haven't been changing your bandages. They're bleeding through."

"You haven't been meditating. You're spacing out and can't focus."

"You haven't been brushing your hair. Don't tell me you didn't brush it, I can see the tangles."

"You pulled those clothes out of the dirty hamper!"

"Ha! You can't talk - you wore that skirt three days ago!"

"You haven't been shaving either. It's been a week, and you still have stubble." Lavi rubbed his chin pensively. Oh. She was right.

"You... you haven't..." He realized that he had nothing left to fire back with. "You haven't, uh, been... moisturizing your... face..."

The two stared at each other. And finally, they started to snicker. And then, they began to guffaw.

"Moisturize your face? That is the best a Bookman Junior can come up with? HA!" Esperanza gasped, wiping a tear from her face.

"Your face is dry! Shut up, I was running on empty!" Lavi chuckled, rubbing his face. They stared at each other, and finally they sighed.

"I think we should move back into one hotel. We can keep an eye on each other better that way. It does us no good to stay apart, especially you. You will starve without me," she quipped, her face once again deadpan. Lavi pouted at her. He wanted to shoot back with something, but he realized he had no room to speak. He really hadn't been eating.

"Yeah, though I can't do anything about your nightmares. Well, actually I could, but you wouldn't want to hear my idea of 'helping'," Lavi said, mischievously wagging his eyebrows. His face promptly made a very intimate introduction to a fork.

"OW! Hey, that's sharp!" Esperanza gave a small, little smile, and Lavi rubbed his face.

Lavi was aware of everything at that very moment. The light from the chandelier, Esperanza's expression, the turn of her hair in her ponytail, the feeling of the linen napkin in his hand, the small sting of having something sharp hit his face. It was as if everything had slowed down, letting him savor everything.

And then he was aware that he was being thrown in the air and that there were bits of glass falling around him as he was catapulted through a window.

And then he was aware that he was in pain, lying under a mass of rubble in a cobblestone street.

And then he was aware that everyone that had been sitting in that restaurant could very well be dead.

Lavi sprang up, raining dust and rubble. He had several bruises, but his uniform had absorbed most of the impact. He was completely fine from what he could tell. No bones were broken, no real lacerations beside small shrapnel cuts. The building he'd been in had been shelled, and he was lying out in the street. He must've been thrown out the window, breaking the glass and getting lucky. He brushed off the pieces of debris, clearing the smoke. His heart pounded as adrenaline caught up with him. The people...

He could hear groaning and crying out. Some of them didn't get quite as lucky. The smells of pasta and blood mingled in his nose, and he realized that he was getting sick again. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, something slink off into the dark. He was torn between following what he _knew _must've been an Akuma and helping out the people already in the restaurant. His breathing suddenly hitched higher, and he drew his hammer, torn between the two -

And he realized he was standing in another memory entirely. He wasn't in Sao Paulo any more, despite the fact that just the minute before he was. He tried to place the memory, but he realized that he couldn't... not quite. This was one of his subconscious memories, one that he'd buried.

After careful scrutiny, he realized where he was. This was Paris, in a bombed out building that he'd been looking through. There was Bookman, talking to somebody about something while Lavi (no, his name was Jacques now, not Lavi, not yet) walked into a shelled apartment. He stood there, staring at the bodies within -

NO! He had to get to the present! He couldn't just stand here like some sort of lame duck! There were people who needed him... if he could just get _back. _

_And just like that, he realized it. He need a reason... he needed an anchor... he needed something...  
><em>

The sting of the fork he'd had on his face suddenly panged, and Lavi was jettisoned away from Jacques straight back to the present. He blinked, and he realized that he was staring at an Akuma that had not been there before. He didn't remember this part of the memor - He wasn't in the memory any more! He had to act! He could move now!

However, his body was too slow, and he knew it. The minute he raised his hammer from its holster on his leg, he knew that he wasn't going to be able to block the attack that was coming. The Akuma was already raising a long, sharp blade with a bomb attached on a string, and it left its hand in slow motion as he launched it. Lavi watched it with horrid fascination, noting every pock and scratch on the blade, the way the light bounced off it, the rain that pittered over it. He was still swinging his hammer, hoping and hoping and knowing and knowing -

And then, he was knocked back by a black and brown blur, dragged down as the blade suddenly was obscured from his sight. He was surprised to find himself on the ground, looking up at a winded Esperanza. She didn't look too much the worse for wear. Her clothes were torn, her hair was a mess and had come loose, her face was haggard. His eye widened as he stared at her side, realizing there was blood gushing over her skirt. She got up quickly, standing spread-leg and strong, wreathed in the rubble and rain.

She suddenly ripped the blade out of her back, whirling around and throwing it back at the stunned Akuma. The blade sliced through one of the Akuma's legs cleanly, burying itself into the wall of a building. It exploded, leaving the building to sag. The Akuma screamed as it staggered, glaring daggers at its attacker. She wouldn't be standing much longer, not with the blood she was losing. Still, she felt it in her, that iron will to continue fighting even past one's limits.

And then, a hand was on her shoulder, gently pushing her away from the fight. Her surprised blue eyes clashed against Lavi's determined and sorry green orb. She wanted so much to push back, but she knew she had gone too far this one time. She sloppily knelt on her knees as Lavi walked past, growing the head of his hammer. The Akuma charged, a knife in either hand, and Lavi easily parried and blocked the attacks with simple swipes of the long handle. Lavi was a whirling machine of hammer and human, beating and slamming the Akuma. It was a Level Two, but a powerful little Level Two at that. Lavi finished it off in five minutes, longer than he would've liked.

He looked back towards the rubble where the Italian restaurant had stood. People were beginning to gather, and fire trucks were approaching. Already, survivors were being pulled from the rubble. Esperanza had fallen on the ground, unnoticed by most everyone. A small pool of blood was beginning to gather underneath her, though most of it was soaked up by the brick-dust. Under the gray sky, he could see her shiver. Lavi walked over, picked her up, and carried her away, gently crooning as she grasped his coat.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Ah, another chapter finished. I've been working on this all Thanksgiving. I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Now, on to our recognition phase of this lift-off - A big thanks to janrockiss, Kai-Chan94, and Ryo Hoshi for leaving comments, questions, notes, etc. on the reviews page. Especially to Ryo - definitely set me straight on a few historical facts that I'd been unaware of. Also, big thanks to EaglefootMoonflightVipertail for adding the story to their favorites. And finally, my lone subscriber, Lotyuu, that brave little soul.

Already got the second chapter in the works, and it should be out pretty quick.

God bless and good reading!


	16. La Bestia Desde Dentro

"This isn't enough!" Lavi raged, pounding his fist on the desk. Across it, Alonzo Reyes sighed through his nose, rubbing his forehead. They'd been arguing for the past hour, badgering back and forth. Usually, Lavi didn't mind the Branch Head of the South American Unit, but this was getting out of hand.

"She was nearly killed. With a uniform, she wouldn't have broken three ribs and punctured a lung. That blade wouldn't have hardly made a bruise -!"

"_Senor Lavi, _you overestimate uniforms. That blade would've penetrated, regardless of whether -"

"It doesn't matter! She wouldn't be in the hospital right now if she had a uniform," Lavi seethed. Alonzo stood up, his mustache quivering as he said, "She wouldn't be in the hospital right now if you weren't so _incompetent _as to stand there like a deer while that Akuma took aim!" Lavi froze, ice pooling in his stomach. Alonzo realized he'd hit a nerve, but rather than be satisfied, the slick gentleman sat down and gestured for Lavi to follow suit.

"My apologies, _Senor. _Things are... so tight here at the South American Branch. We are trying so hard to keep up, but our limited number of Exorcist and the funds... It is too much to ask for now. Had you asked a month before, I would've gladly issued out an order for a uniform. However, right now the money is tight. We have clergymen and Finders to pay and feed. The older Exorcists need these uniforms, the few we have, more than the newer Exorcists who have not learned to fight. To ask for a uniform now is like asking fifty Finders to give up pay and board as well as several of the senior Exorcists to halve their salaries. Those uniforms... they are made of a very expensive material, enough to protect from blasts, as you have seen," Alonzo stated wearily, gesturing to Lavi's own uniform. The redheaded Exorcist had not changed since the night before. His uniform jacket was open, revealing his bloodstained white shirt and splattered pants. The black cloth of the uniform was nearly gray with dust, but it looked none the worse for wear.

"Lavi, I know you are frustrated with this predicament, but I believe that, for now, you will not have to worry about Esperanza's welfare. She will not only be in our care, but transferred to the European branch aboard a steamer. We have decided, in accordance with Central, that it would be best if she recuperated in the European branch of the Order. Already, we have several of our own personnel there. She will be safe there as they study how best to reforge her Innocence," Alonzo sighed, steepling his fingers in front of him as he leaned his elbows on his desk. Lavi stared for a moment, letting the information soak in.

They were taking his partner. She was going to be in Europe, possibly for a long time. He swallowed, realizing he was now on his own, and he felt a hollowness inside of him. He was terrified of being alone. There was this horrible feeling he had in the pit of his stomach, a growing emptiness. He didn't want to be by himself here, with strange people and a strange language and strange food... He hadn't minded it when he'd first come to South America, but even then he'd figured he'd have a Finder.

It was Lavi's greatest fear - being completely alone. Despite this fact, Lavi felt that, no matter what, he was always alone anyways. No one could fathom the sort of gulf that came between Lavi and the people he interacted with. His actions were all an act, and his expressions were only to make them comfortable, but now he was so unsure what was what that he no longer wanted to lose this feeling that maybe, just maybe, the act he put up was no longer act. He was afraid that if he was alone, he might... might go back.

And then the enjoyment he felt around Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Miranda, and yes, even Esperanza, would suddenly disappear, and he'd realize that it never was in the first place.

"Lavi? _Senor, _are you alright? You look sick." The redhead snapped out of his inner reverie, and he looked up with a look of surprise.

"N-no, I was just... just thinking about something. When's she leaving?" he asked. Alonzo shrugged, and he said, "That will depend on her recovery and just how well she can function without her Innocence on hand. I would say that she did very well against that Akuma by herself. Still, Central is giving her six months. If she does not leave by the six month deadline, Central will come and get her themselves. I do not believe that she will stay that long, however. Esperanza has a very strong sense of duty."

"You know her well?" Lavi asked. Alonzo looked up at Lavi from his pile of papers, and he sighed.

"Yes, I do know Esperanza. She saved my life," Alonzo said quietly, tapping his fingers against his desk. Lavi bit his lip and looked away. He wondered what she'd given up to save this man's life - she seemed willing to give anything to save someone.

"I know about what she's done, too. The Church... the Church is aware that she is a known murderer. They have agreed to exchange her death sentence for a life sentence in service of the Order, even after its dissolution should the war end," Alonzo said. Lavi suddenly snapped his head up.

"Death... death sentence?" Alonzo frowned, and his eyebrows suddenly rose as he realized something.

"Esperanza did not tell you, did she? She was a death row inmate. She'd been caught trying to bomb a building in Buenos Aires. She sat in prison for nearly a year waiting for appeals, and they were all turned down. The day that she was sentenced to die, about three months ago, she found her Innocence, and our Finders were quick enough to save her before they electrocuted her," Alonzo said in blunt tones. "Strange, that such a compassionate woman has probably killed over five hundred people." Lavi could feel his mind trying to tug him into another memory, one he knew would demonize Esperanza all over again. How could one person change so much in only a year, from a blood thirsty, terrifying murderer into a woman who was willing to give up everything, even her life, to save someone else?

Perhaps all that time in jail had done something for her. Perhaps finding her Innocence had put her closer to God.

Or perhaps she was the same, angry person she had been, and she was just as fake as Lavi happened to be.

* * *

><p>She still dealt with it, the beast on the inside. Lavi could see that as he watched her eat lunch alone in the cafeteria, despite the fact she <em>should <em>be in the infirmary. The deep cut she'd received had, quite luckily, glanced across a rib, sliced a small incision into her liver, and managed to go deep enough to create an exit wound. She'd needed plenty of donated blood, surgery, and stitches, but she looked none the worse for wear, though her face was pale under her tea-colored complexion. He watched her discreetly, wondering if he should come near or not. He was worried about wounding her pride, though she didn't look like she could be much more wounded than she was now.

She had foregone her usual blouse for a sleeveless shirt. The men whispered around her in low tones, most of disapproval, some of less noble propositions. Despite the fact Lavi knew she could hear every word, she blatantly ignored the people around her, Finders and Exorcists alike. He leaned against the doorjamb of the cafeteria, wondering if he should approach her yet. Her pride... it had been wounded, when he'd carried her to the hospital. Despite the fact she could hardly walk, she had looked at him with a hurt, yet appreciative, glance when he'd laid her down on the stretcher in the hospital, both reprimanding him and applauding him for carrying her to the Infirmary. She hadn't said a word to him since then, however, and he could tell that the longer she stayed in the city, the more irritable she was becoming. There was something about the urban surroundings that rankled her emotions into a high frenzy, drove them into a froth that none could calm. Something about the city drove her mad, and Lavi could not, for the life of him, figure out what it was.

And suddenly, a man walked towards Esperanza, despite the fact she was sitting alone. It had not taken Lavi long to realize that every man in the building knew what Esperanza had done, and if they hadn't known beforehand, they _would _know within their first hour of staying at the Order Headquarters there in Sao Paulo. She was an infamous figure, something from which Lavi had been shielded while out on the wide expanses of the fringes of the desert, where her name was obscure and her deeds just as in the dark as her name. Suddenly, Lavi realized that maybe the reason Esperanza could not stand the city was due to the ever present reminder of her sins, and he felt a pang of pity that he quietly quelled.

She had committed her crimes. Now she must pay for them, with her life if not with her death. This was a small price.

And yet, none the less, he felt himself tense as he watched the man, a youth that was probably only five or so years older than the woman in front of him, exchange what looked like heated words. Lavi had seen enough hard debates, arguments, and accusations to know what a human's posture was when conferring to those ideas that were so controversial. And yet, Esperanza didn't budge, only played with the food that she had barely even touched in the past five minutes. He had never seen her this still, except perhaps when she was asleep and when she was in hiding. Despite her stillness, he could see that she was fighting to keep in her seat. He could almost _see _the beast she was wrestling with, that beast that was a pent-up anger that she could let loose on the plains by riding and travel and long introspection. It was an anger he had not seen the likes of until he'd been knocked flat on his back with a knife to his throat and her voice snarling in his ear like a nightmare monster.

The man he saw that was conferring with her was in danger. He was in danger of having a knife jammed in his throat, of having a hand crush his windpipe shut like a straw, of having his neck snapped, of having a fist dislocate his jaw. He could see it in the way that the cords in Esperanza's neck were beginning to make themselves known. She was reining herself in, trying so hard to keep her temper in check, but she'd put up with so much _crap _in the past two week, he was surprised she hadn't already locked herself in her room in a fit of ornery behavior against it all. He remember all too well how much she liked to shove Darrin off his mule when he was especially peeving...

He could tell that the man was beginning to run out of steam as the person he kept attempting to rile remained as stoic as outwardly stoic as the minute he'd arrived at the table. Lavi figured that the man must be safe - he felt bad for ever doubting Esperanza's ability to hold her emotions and actions in check. He began to walk towards the two, whistling a tune in order to keep up a cheery looking demeanor -

Suddenly, the mustachioed man said something to Esperanza, something that made her break her frozen mask of indifference. Faster than Lavi could stop it, Esperanza linked both her hands behind the young man's head and smashed it straight into the table twice with tight-lipped fury. Suddenly, there was a swarm of people around the two, several of them trying to pull Esperanza off of the man as they two began to scuffle with each other. Lavi already had both of his arms looped through hers as she fought against him, her back arching and her legs kicking out as she tried to get at her verbal assailant.

"Esperanza! ESPERANZA! **ESPERANZA, DAMMIT, IF YOU DON'T CALM DOWN, I'LL PUT YOU DOWN MYSELF!**" Lavi had already been elbowed by her, kicked in the thigh, scratched, and bruised in the few minutes it took to drag Esperanza away from the table. This must've been her breaking point. He could even feel something slick and wet brush against his already bloodied shirt, probably Esperanza's wound reopening again. Esperanza shouted insults in Spanish, most of which the man across from her could not even understand. The man was dabbing at a large gash in his forehead, looking vaguely satisfied and dazed at the same time as he grinned, knowing he'd won this round. Finders glared daggers at Esperanza while others merely shrugged and walked off indifferently. Still others glanced at her nervously, and she even received some rather sympathetic glances from Finders that had, no doubt, been privy to her cause as an extremist.

She finally hung, exhausted, from his arms, glaring at the man that was being led away to the infirmary. She'd inflicted quite a bit of damage, but the man had done his own damage as well. He'd broken her shell of careful composure, shattered her confidence in her ability to keep her cool, and torn open the floodgates of frustration she'd been holding back. Lavi could feel it in the way she struggled against him, shaking him off like a tattered cloak she felt she had no need for. She stalked off down the corridor, and Lavi yelled, "Esperanza! Get back here! I'm not finished with you!"

He suddenly felt like a schoolmaster dealing with an unruly child after a playground fight. She was acting like a child. She refused to listen to a word of help from him, as distressed as she was, and he'd never seen her this riled. Here in this city, cooped up and alone as she was, she was going mad. Still, it didn't quell the feeling of hurt he felt that she would just reject him like an unwieldy child would denounce a parent rather than receive help and instruction. He lengthened his pace, easily catching up with her loping pace, and he spun her around. His hand remained clamped around her wrist as she tried to walk away from him.

She glared at him with a glacial gaze, her blue eyes burning the way ice burns on a frigid day. It was no longer any challenge for Lavi to see this woman taking a bomb and killing quite a few people in one go. At least, not right now it was, but he knew that she was better than this. He'd seen it.

"What did he say to you?" Lavi asked, almost hesitant. He was afraid that the memory of such an inflammatory remark would rekindle her anger as it simmered down. She was tight lipped, her mouth set in a hard line as if she'd sucked on something sour. She took a deep breath, still resisting his hold but slowly tiring. She stood there for a few more tense minutes, her body as tight as a wire. Finally, she ground out, "He called my mother a whore, and he called my father a white devil who used her for nothing more than -" She didn't finish as she took a deep, angry breath. She closed her eyes, looking away from him as she frowned.

"He said I was a disgrace to the Order. That he would rather be ravaged by dogs than allow me to save him. That I was not fit to be an Exorcist. That I was a half-breed dog that should be put down rather than put on a leash," she grumbled. She suddenly became quiet as she looked up at Lavi.

"He told me that if he could, he'd string me up on a pole and starve me for days before letting ants eat me alive. And then he'd do the same to my parents, just before I died so I could watch," Esperanza whispered. Her eyes grew tight as she said, "I can take insults and I can take threats. To my parents... to my parents, that is a different story." Lavi licked his lips, thinking hard as he stared into her face, the air growing thicker as unspoken words seemed to fill the vicinity.

"That's stupid. That's absolutely idiotic," he stated simply, though he had a hint of vehemence in his voice. Esperanza jerked her wrist out of his hand.

"My honor means more to me than petty courtesy or restraint. God may judge me how He will, but I do not answer before anyone," she stated venomously. She turned around to walk away, and Lavi felt heat rise to his face as he realized he'd been slighted, feeling a sting in his pride.

"So is it honor to attack unarmed, innocent civilians and children just to sate your anger? To shatter lives for the sake of your fury?" he shouted after her, his words bouncing off the walls. Esperanza began to slow her walk ever so slightly, and Lavi took a little satisfaction in knowing he wounded her.

Esperanza turned slightly, and she said in a whisper-soft voice, "I am still paying for my sins. Take comfort in that." She walked off, blood dripping down her shirt as she headed to God knew where. Lavi watched her walk off, and his satisfaction slowly cooled to regret.

He had just alienated himself from the only friend he had in the city.

"Good going, Bookman Jr. Real smooth," he muttered to himself as he tried to catch up to her.

* * *

><p>He lost her at the door. There'd been a rush of people as they all attempted to go the same way at the same time. Rush hour was horrific, and horses and bodies filled the streets. He had followed the blood trail at first, but it slowly trickled to a stop around a corner, and he knew he wouldn't find her in the crowd. He didn't even know where she was going. The redhead decided it wasn't worth it to brave the rain and the people just to find an angry woman who probably would fight him tooth and nail if he tried to get her back to his hotel so he could fix up her wounds.<p>

Besides, he had other problems. In the middle of the street, he'd slipped straight into another memory without even being aware of it. He'd suddenly found himself walking down the Champs Élysées in the middle of the night, rather than at near-noon. He'd been jarred to find himself there, because he'd already walked down that road for nearly thirty minutes before realizing where he was. He could sense every single person around him, everyone that he'd seen and felt and heard on that night down in Paris, except that this memory was recent. He'd just been to Paris that month, and he could tell, in that instinctual way, that this was the same memory.

He wandered in Paris for quite a while, perhaps another thirty minutes, watching the Parisian Eiffel Tower fade between buildings as he kept it as a landmark for guidance. He wondered if he could literally live in a memory, for all of a moment, and he quickly stopped the thought. It would be too tempting a proposition, to give up the life outside for one in his head. He knew it would be a hollow life, one that was confined to whatever memories he'd already experienced, but at the same time, it was like a beckoning call to escape the life he lead out _there. _

Finally, he'd managed to get out of his memory, but only to realize he'd wandered on autopilot. He was somewhere in the city, but he had no idea where. He had absolutely no memory whatsoever (and that was something that scared him - losing such a big chunk of time was always disconcerting and disheartening for him), and his surroundings were unfamiliar. It was also getting dark, and Lavi suddenly wondered just how long he'd been walking around. This was definitely not as posh as the avenue his hotel happened to sit on...He cautiously walked past a large store window, catching view of his reflection.

He was hangdog and worn. His hair fell lank over his green headband, and his one green eye looked back with a blank color and feeling, as if it were the eye of some automaton. He'd lost a lot of weight - he could tell by the way his uniform hung off his shoulders and how baggy his shirt had become around his stomach and chest. His face was thinner than usual, and he didn't look too good at the moment. He didn't feel good, either, and Lavi scuffed a single boot against the sidewalk.

What was he doing here just staring at his reflection? What was he, some girl? He needed to figure out where he was!

Lavi saw a woman passing by, and he stopped her. She looked up at him with a look of surprise, her brown hair in disarray and her dress slung sloppily over her frame. She looked dreamy, as if she'd been caught in a daze.

"Pardon me, but could you tell me how to get back to Seventh Avenue?" he asked her in Portuguese. He was lucky that he'd come to Sao Paulo previous to this journey. He had a fair knowledge of the language. For once, he was glad Bookman had pressed him to learn so many freaking languages. The woman spoke in rapid Portuguese, most of which he understood. There were a lot of directions, some of them a little vague, but for the most part he got the gist of what she was saying.

He reviewed the route in his head as he walked away from her, and he realized he was in the mangier part of town. He felt his stomach tighten in apprehension. It was getting dark, and he was nearly lost. He didn't have his weapon with him - he'd left it behind for inspection thinking he wouldn't need it for a few days and that he'd keep out of trouble, for the most part. He knew fisticuffs fairly well, but after years of having his Innocence on hand at all times, he felt naked without it in a hostile place. The buildings seemed to stare at him with their eye-like windows. Each shadow held a lurker. Lavi tried to appear confident and calm, like he owned the street. He didn't need to be afraid. He would be fine.

He passed through without incident, and he breathed a sigh as he saw the night crowd begin to pour in. He knew where he was now. And speaking of which, he was starving. He searched through his pocket, looking for his wallet -

and realized that it was gone.

He cursed loudly to himself, causing several old women to stare at him with disdain that was usually reserved for dogs that peed on their shoes. He excused himself, walking away awkwardly. That woman... she pickpocketed him right after he left! He sighed to himself, miffed. He walked farther down the avenue, starting to think that maybe he was going the right way when he realized that he was on the wrong road. Very suddenly, he felt his foot sink into something, and he looked down. His eye twitched as he realized he'd stepped in wet concrete.

He jerked his foot out of the concrete, realizing half of it had already been dry before he'd shoved his foot into it, and several workers glared as they muttered under their breath in Portuguese and Spanish. Lavi laughed nervously in a high, breathy manner as he limped away, the parts of his foot that had been exposed to the concrete burning from the lye. He swallowed as he tried to shake off the chunks of gray concrete stuck to his shoe, and he scraped his foot against the side walk as he looked around for the street name.

He was abruptly splashed from the waist down with a torrent of water as a fast moving carriage barreled down the road. Lavi stood there, aghast, for all of a few seconds before growing red in the face and stamping a foot in frustration.

Just as he put his foot down, a little old lady walked by with her cane, and his foot managed to position itself exactly over her poor, rickety, arthritic toes. The old lady yelped as Lavi realized his folly, as well as try to profusely attempt to apologize. The old woman glared at Lavi and gave him a sharp smack across the back with his cane, and Lavi staggered back as he tried to duck her blows. She shouted at him in Portuguese before limping off, and Lavi winced as he felt the new welts growing on his back.

All of that, in a matter of five minutes. He hadn't managed to do something like that since he thought it'd be funny to take Kanda's hair tie. He was currently wet, tired, lost, in pain, dirty, broke, and cold. This was just ridiculous. As he trudged, he caught sight of the street name, and he realized he was on _his own _street. He just hadn't recognized it from this angle. Too tired to even curse at his own stupidity, Lavi rubbed his face and almost started to walk back to his hotel.

And then, he remembered something.

He'd left several books in Esperanza's hotel room. He'd thought that perhaps they'd be able to go through the documents faster if he had the two of them working together. He'd found her to be quick with reading Spanish and able to get the gist of Portuguese, none of which surprised him giving her white father and no doubt being raised in his household. She'd told him stories every now and again, though she never outright stated her father as being white. Lavi had had enough sense to connect the dots and figure out that her mother had remarried to a widower. Steering his mind back on track, he realized that he needed to get several of those books back - he'd meant to grab them as soon as they'd come back from the Italian restaurant, but they'd had no time after Esperanza had been injured.

Groaning loudly, he turned heel and walked back towards his hotel. It'd be smarter to start from there. Within an hour, he was outside of Esperanza's hotel room, having had to show several forms of identification to several guards in the hotel to ensure his identity was indeed what he claimed, despite his very homeless appearance. However, now that he was standing here, staring at her door, he realized that he didn't know if he should knock or not. What if she was still mad at him...? She couldn't possibly stay that mad, could she? She was prideful, but not _that _prideful... he hoped. He would really love to be in a nice, warm room. He'd even brought a change of clothes with him, despite the fact he'd figured that would be a big stretch. Still, if one never asks, the answer will always be 'no'...

He stood there staring at the door, and finally he made his decision. He took a deep breath.

This may or may not be painful.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Yet another chapter, yet another list of people who love me (or, more realistically, the story they're reading). For my reviewers, I've got janrockiss and Kai-Chan94, both who're quickly becoming regulars here on this story. Unfortunately, there are no new members on either the subscribe list or the favorites list. Huh... sad face... Ah, well, we'll just have to trek on then.

I'm going to, again, petition for some really in depth reviews, especially of what you guys would love to see more of. It would be very, very, _very _nice to have a particularly well-rounded review. Remember, a review is also whatever is on your mind when reading a story - it doesn't only have to be what you liked or didn't like. Discuss what you felt or how you interpreted certain things in the story. Also, try to help me steer clear of going to the OOC side of things. If there's something I can't stand, it's accidentally going into OOC territory.

Other than that, I've got nothing. Also, discussion questions: do you think Esperanza needs therapy? Do you think she _deserves _therapy? Is Lavi slipping further and further into madness, or is this just the very beginning of a slew of problems? How long do you think they'll last without Bookman? Are they ever going to find Darrin, or has he already fled to the United States despite the war?

Again, God bless and good reading!


	17. Pesadilla

He raised a dirt-smeared glove to the door, rapping on it with his knuckles. He anxiously bounced from foot to foot, looking down the hallway on either side. He ran one of his hands through his hair before realizing it was covered in dirt and rain, and he quickly removed his fingers before they could do anymore damage.

The door opened, stopped by a safety chain. One blue eye peered out rather blearily, and Lavi wondered briefly if he'd caught her in the middle of a nap. The one blue eye widened into a round orb before being turned into a half-circle of suspicion and derision, and the door slammed shut. Lavi stood there, dumbfounded, and he came to see that he'd never actually expected her to reject his company no matter how angry she was. Frustrated, tired, cold, lonely, and slightly panicky (given the fact he'd come close to losing his mind and he'd lost probably about four hours' worth of time), he shouted, "Oh, come on! I know you're angry, but can't you at least just let me come in, take off my shoes, give me a shower, and give back the damn books in your room? That's all I want! I haven't even _said _anything yet!" He stood there huffing angrily, staring at the white door with its shiny finish and small brass knocker. There was a vacillating silence, and then he heard the door creak open slightly. One eye peered out again, framed by dark hair.

And the door slammed again.

Lavi resisted the urge to smash his forehead into the door in frustration, and he was lucky he did because he could hear the sounds of the safety bolt being drawn back with a loud click. He stood there with his bag full of clothes held tightly to his chest like a small, lost kid. Esperanza stared at him as she opened the door, her eyes surveying him.

"You look like you've been through hell," she stated simply. She walked away from the open door, and Lavi took that as his invitation to come in. He stepped inside of her plush room with some trepidation, feeling like he was both unwelcome and tolerated at the same time. He took a deep breath as he set down his things.

"Go ahead, use the shower. Don't use up all the hot water - I don't want to freeze to death tonight," Esperanza said wearily in a gravel-toned voice. She sat down on the bed and, to his surprise, pulled out a pack of cigarettes from the dresser. She lit up, and the smell of tobacco permeated the air. Lavi wrinkled his nose at the acrid aroma.

"You smoke?" he asked, perplexed. Esperanza stared out the window, not looking at him. She looked as if someone had aged her by forty years.

"Old habits die hard." With that reply, she ignored him staunchly, and Lavi went to take his shower. He relished the hot water, but he didn't stay for long. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something horribly wrong about this set up. It wasn't that he felt unwelcome, at least not any more. No, he felt as if there was no atmosphere, like someone had sucked all the air out of the room. Esperanza's presence seemed so much more subdued now, not the raging storm she was in the Order halls. He felt as if there should be some sort of residue from that presence here, but all he could feel was spent fury and dissatisfaction, like burned sugar and hunger.

He walked out of the bathroom in his clean uniform, and she gave him a funny look, the only other expression he'd seen on her face all day.

"_Amigo, _you're dressed like you're going to war. It's nighttime. It would be dangerous to go back to the hotel," Esperanza stated hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure if she should be saying something so... concerned. Lavi shrugged.

"I wasn't planning on staying long. I mean, I was... uh, I knew you... probably didn't want to see me," Lavi said, scrambling for words. He was usually so good at putting together conversations on the fly, but he guessed that with this persona being so friendly he'd slowly lost his knack for predicting what people needed to hear and, more importantly, what they wanted to hear as well. His smooth tongue had gone out the door right behind his unbiased mindset. He took a deep breath as he sat down at the small writing desk, putting the books he'd wanted to take back into his bag. Esperanza watched, all the while puffing on a white stick of leaves and tar. The ashy end fell on the carpet, but she paid it no mind, and Lavi was starting to worry.

"Esperanza, what's gotten into you?" Lavi asked, frowning. He wasn't looking at her - he was staring into his bag. He knew it would make her more comfortable to speak if she didn't look him right in the eyes. He'd get a better version of the truth that way, but he'd never be sure if it _was _the truth without looking straight into her face. It was completely silent. Esperanza refused to answer.

Finally, she whispered, "I'm a murderer. I'm going to suffer for the rest of my life, and I have no room to be angry if someone decides that they wish they could torture me in a thousand ways. I think sometimes it would be better if I had died instead, back on the mountain. At least up there, there is no one to judge me." Of course, that wasn't entirely true - there would always be Lavi to judge her, always knowing what she did to him. He hadn't been Lavi then, though. He'd been somebody else, and that person's anger was separate from Lavi because he wasn't that person.

But what if he was? What if he still hung on to that anger? He knew that he'd felt flashes of it, but it only came that way, in flashes.

Lavi had no answers for her. Today had shaken her. He turned around, and he realized that he'd have to keep an eye on her. The stoic ranch hand he'd come to enjoy was beginning to stumble into a pit of her own making. He knew that, in spite of all his efforts, she could only save herself. He couldn't do it for her.

"I think... I think I'll stay a bit longer. It's raining, and the roads are going to get full soon. It's almost rush hour again, and there are some things I want to read. Besides, the books will start curling unless I proof them," Lavi said. They were all valid reasons to stay, but it was more than just that. He didn't want Esperanza doing anything stupid. "And stop smoking in here - an ember could set the entire place on fire." Esperanza looked at him with a sardonic look, and he thought he could see the shadow of a ghost of a smile. It was a start.

She tamped her ashes into the ash tray, and she threw the used cigarette out the window. The room still stank of nicotine and used smoke. Lavi looked back at her as she got up and walked to the bathroom, and he heard the sound of the hot water running. After a while it turned off, and he guessed that she was taking a long, nice soak. He sighed. This had been a long day.

He was poring over a rather promising looking piece of information when the door opened, and Esperanza trudged out. She threw herself on the bed with undue heavy force, and Lavi looked back with surprise. She lay face down on the bed, and he wondered for a minute if she meant to suffocate herself. Finally she turned on her side, staring at the wall, and he felt a sort of frustration rise within him. She was being... unreasonable. He knew that she suffered from a massive amount of guilt (a guilt he could understand, no less), but this was no way to deal with it.

"Esperanza... Esperanza, talk to me already," Lavi sighed, getting up and shutting his book. He dimmed his lamp slightly, deciding it wouldn't be worth it to waste the oil. They had electrical lights here, yes, but they'd turned them off for the time. He sat next to her on the bed, and Esperanza said, "I've been... dreaming about them." Lavi rubbed his face. This was exactly what he was getting at.

"The more you dwell on it, the worse it's going to get," he groaned. Esperanza suddenly sat up, and she asked piteously, "Then what would you have me do, Lavi? Forget everything? What good does it do for me to forget my mistakes for me to do them over again? Do you want me to do something with myself? There is nothing I can do! All I can do is sit here, read those dusty books, and go cross-eyed!" Lavi suddenly blinked. She was just as frustrated as he was with the situation. He should've known... Still, there had to be something they could do. She was useless to him this way, as sullen, depressed, and irritated as she was. She was acting like a petulant child, yet she admitted she'd done something wrong! It made no sense to him.

He glimpsed the fang of the panther she sported on her shoulder, her nightgown failing to completely cover the source of her shame. He wondered what it must be like, to have a constant reminder of one's biggest failures inscribed on skin so to see it every day. Actually, he did know that feeling... it was tamped down, but it was there. When she had killed actively, he'd stood by passively and watched people tear each other apart.

"I worry that I am still that monster. I have tried so hard to become... become someone else. To no longer be angry," Esperanza said, staring Lavi in the face. Her scarred visage would've been frightening in this dim lighting, if not for that fact Lavi knew her so well as to find the scars comforting rather than disconcerting. He sighed, and he said, "I would've never guessed when we were out on the desert. You felt more at home out there."

"The city... holds me in. It reminds me of how angry I was. It catches me on fire the way a small match lights a dry stack of sticks," she said, her Spanish lilt rounding her words in odd ways that Lavi found both soothing and unnerving because at times he could hardly tell what she was saying. He needed her to keep talking, though. She was usually so quiet, at least nowadays. She was bottling all of this up.

"You think you'd feel better if you were somewhere out in the open? Or somewhere in the country?" Lavi asked. Esperanza shrugged.

"I do not think my anger will cool even out on my home plains in Patagonia. I remember too much, and it haunts me. _Mis vaqueros _taught me how to stay calm before all that... that mess," she said, throwing a careless hand out to gesture to the city. She bit her lip, a habit now whenever she was thinking hard or concentrating.

"Maybe if... if you apologize, you'll feel better?" Lavi said lamely, looking at her with a sheepish grimace. She gave him a sarcastic glance, and he knew that wasn't happening. They sat there, leaning against the headboard, and they wandered along different paths as they talked, straying from one topic to another. Eventually, Esperanza fell asleep, albeit an unsound sleep. Lavi could still hear her muttering things in her sleep, her face scrunching up and her voice becoming loud as she uttered something incomprehensible in Spanish.

It would take more than one night for her to find closure. Lavi just wished he'd caught this sooner. Perhaps he'd have been better able to help her.

He'd noticed things, the weeks leading up to his discovery of her affiliation in the War of the Wildcats. He had never capitalized on these, however, taking them for mere imaginings or random occurrences. He now saw they were all joined together - the sleep talking, the restless nights (at times, very seldom), the dour look on her face at all times, her constant and never ceasing stoicism, her nearly disproportionate ability to sacrifice herself despite her pride, and the anger she buried under layers of control. There were other things, too. She stayed far from children. She was curt when dealing with people. She never wore anything that revealed the tattoo on her shoulder. She so much preferred to be alone or with very little company, a female anomaly of sorts in a world where society was all a female had. He wondered why he didn't see it. Perhaps he hadn't wanted to. Maybe he thought that, for once, he'd found a woman who was just... different.

He got up and looked out at the world beyond. Looking back, he opened the drawer quietly and took the cigarettes. He'd tried one once, on Bookman's behest. The old man smoked a pipe now and again, but nothing more than that. He'd taken a draw, and he'd nearly made himself sick. He opened the window, and he deposited the cigarettes to the ground below. She would be angry with him, as cigarettes happened to be expensive, but it was a habit he found destructive. The lights of the city almost seemed to permeate the air, making it froth. He breathed in, almost expecting to absorb some of that light and hide it within himself, to use it to rekindle his lagging reserves of energy and vigor. He felt so held down, perhaps due in part to Esperanza's mood and the constant drizzle of Sao Paulo.

Perhaps tomorrow would look better. He looked back at the bed, where Esperanza lay sleeping. She was tossing over, making the bed look like a storm-tossed sea. Her mind was probably no better, but he'd never watched her sleep before. He sat down in the desk's chair near the foot of the bed.

He watched her move and mumble, yelping now and again as she curled up into a ball. Her constant motions were like the rocking of the sea to his mind as he found himself drifting to slumber.

* * *

><p>The world seemed tilted off-kilter. It was as if everything were the wrong colors, or the lights here were too bright for inside, or the light was too dark outside the windows. Lavi found himself sitting in a courtroom at the defendant table, and he felt dread pool in the bottom of his stomach. He gripped the chair he was sitting in, looking around and passively inspecting the people around him.<p>

There was a lawyer sitting next to him. He was faceless, without any features whatsoever, wearing a pinstripe suit with slicked hair and manicured hands that were resting on top of a briefcase made of some sort of skin that made Lavi's insides crawl. Ahead of him sat the judged, dressed with a mask and a robe as well as a white, powdered wig. The mask was a Venetian-made plaster glazed with a clear lacquer, and the design was one of words circling around the eyes and over the nose. It was a confusing mass that seemed to move.

"We now indict the defendant on charges of identity theft and fraud, stealing the lives of the present victims in attendance, of which there are forty-eight," the judge stated in a rather sonorous, female voice that sounded oddly familiar. The judge cocked her head to the side, the wig sliding and slipping over her shoulders like snakes as her head continued to lean at an almost unnatural angle. Lavi feels sick as she gives the indictment, and the lawyer says in, yet another half-familiar voice, "Objection. That would be forty-nine counts, not forty-eight."

"No, it is forty-eight. He is who he is now."

"Your Honor, it is forty-nine. You forgot the other him," the lawyer said, and Lavi frowned.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping me?" Lavi asked, rather peeved, and the lawyer looked at Lavi with his non-eyes while shrugging deferentially.

"Anywho, onward. How do you plead?" The judge straightened her head again, but it started to lean towards the other side, again at a near unnatural angle. Lavi could feel bile rise in his throat as he watched her. He swallowed, feeling his palms sweat. Behind him, he could feel many presences, but he couldn't tell what they were, nor could he somehow turn to look behind him, for whatever reason.

"The defendant pleads 'not guilty'." There was an immediate response.

Behind Lavi, there was a massive uproar of voices, all of them the same yet varying in intensity, shouting profane things. Lavi winced and ducked as the sound hit him like a wave made of metal. He was rocked forwards and slammed into the table, as if a thousand hands were pushing him down.

**"SILENCE."**The judge's command was immediately met with an absolute absence of noise, as if someone had taken the needle off the gramophone with nary a scratch. There was only the breathing of many individuals behind Lavi, and he once again fought to see what was behind him. It was to no avail.

"Not guilty, you say? Interesting. I should have the defendant speak for himself, if you don't mind," the judge said, and Lavi nearly pinpointed the voice. Lavi turned his head to the side, catching sight of the grieved party's table.

And yet, there was no one seated there. In fact, there was no table. Lavi felt his breath catch in his chest, and his stomach roiled as nausea swamped him. He swallowed again, harder this time, and he felt his hands shake.

**"WELL? WHAT IS YOUR VERDICT, LAVI?"** Lavi was jarred out of his reverie, and he looked back at the judge, and he scrambled for an answer to give her.

"I-I'm not guilty, your honor. I've never stolen anyone's identity."

Another uproar sounded, voices throwing punches at Lavi, and he ducked again, cringing. There was something about those voices that grated against him, making him feel like curling into a ball and disappearing, something... something utterly _sinister _about them, malicious, intent on his death.

"Verdict, your honor?" the lawyer asked, and Lavi wondered how long he'd been sitting there under the table. They'd gone through the entire process, and he hadn't known it...? He felt his heart slam into his rib cage as she suddenly stated, "Guilty. Bailiff, you know the punishment. Be kind enough to mete it out, would you?" The judge suddenly removed her mask, and Lavi's eyes widened as he stared into the decaying face of his mother.

"God does not appreciate lies and thieves," she stated, and Lavi was suddenly grasped from behind, pulled to the front of the court room near the judge as Lavi tried his best not to throw up. He shook and shivered as his mother stared down at him with accusation, and Lavi struggled against the bailiff, an invisible force he couldn't see. He was turned around to face the audience who had vehemently stripped him bare with verbal knives and slaughtering insults.

He suddenly knew why the voices had unsettled him. The voices... they were all his. All those voices were his.

In front of him sat an entire audience of copies of himself, but they were all _different _in some way that he couldn't put a finger on. A chord went through him as they all stared at him with blank, green glass eyes. He realized he was alone, even among these people who were himself. He shivered as he wondered what the punishment was.

Suddenly, forty-eight bodies moved in a procession towards the Bookman Junior, their blank eyes suddenly coming a-fire with a fury that Lavi could almost feel wafting over him. He scrabbled against the tile floor, trying to move away from the advancing body of Bookman Apprentices. They grabbed hold of his arms and legs, taking him from the bailiff, and Lavi struggled against their hold. Their hands were cold and clammy, reminiscent of a corpse that had been decaying in the water for weeks. They felt bloated and dead, even though their appearance was healthy. Lavi felt revulsed as they strove to hold him still, and he looked up into the face of one of the personas, one he instinctively knew was Manuel. His face was calm, to the point of resembling an automaton. He lifted one clinical hand as Lavi continued to move, and a persona grabbed his head to hold it still.

"We hereby-"

"GET OFF OF ME!"

"-revoke all-"

"LET GO! I'M INNOCENT! I DIDN'T-"

"-privileges and rights-"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!"

"-by removing-"

Lavi shouted over the persona, struggling harder as the doppelganger lifted up a needle - it was an acupuncture needle that looked oddly similar to the ones that Bookman happened to use, and Lavi felt the pit of his stomach drop to the point of no return. What were they doing with that -? The hand suddenly began to edge towards his face, moving the needle slowly (yet fast, oh so quickly). He finally located the spot he wanted, the area right over his victim's covered eye. A clammy hand held open the eye by pulling the skin around the patch, and Lavi struggled harder, realizing what he might be planning. The persona lifted Tensui, the Innocence that Lavi considered friend but now happened to be his enemy, and aimed it over the needle.

He was going to plunge it straight into his eye. He was going to _put that needle through his eye straight into his brain -_

Lavi let out the loudest scream he could muster as he watched the hammer begin its downward descent. He finally shut his eyes, struggling and struggling and struggling...

"Amigo!"

He continued to thrash.

"_Amigo!"_

He could feel himself finally making headway, his hands and feet coming loose from the bonds that restrained -

"_LAVI, WAKE UP!"_

Lavi finally stopped moving, recognizing the voice. It was still dark, and his eye took a long while to adjust to the darkness. After a few more minutes of labored and panicked breathing, Lavi made out the outline of Esperanza's form sitting on top of him, her head hung low between her shoulders as she held down both of his wrists. Lavi tried to remember what had happened, and a flush of hot and cold rolled through him. He finally whispered, "Esperanza, I'm awake. You can let me go now." His voice shook. He couldn't disguise how much the dream had bothered him.

He'd only seen a lobotomy once. It'd been the most gruesome thing he'd seen happen so calmly. The technique was a secret fact - it was not yet ready to be unleashed on the world, but Bookman said that nevertheless they needed to see one in order to record it accurately. He'd watched with sick fascination, even then. He'd been fourteen years old, and even the thick exterior shell he'd created for himself had not blocked out the feeling of pity and sympathy for the patient who'd had an ice pick driven straight through his eye sockets. The patient, afterwards, had been little more than a sack of meat, completely devoid of personality. It was a just a lethargic insane patient that looked like he'd gotten worse rather than better. Lavi couldn't help but notice what those personae had wanted...

"Lavi, are you all right?" Esperanza asked quietly, her own voice shaking, though more due to strain than actual fear or emotion. Her arms quivered as she tried to hold herself upright in her awkward angle over the Bookman Junior, and Lavi carefully extricated himself from the Argentine. He sat with his head between his knees, squeezing his good eye shut as he thought about the dream. It had felt so real... Everything, it'd felt absolutely real...

"I had a nightmare. Th-that's all," Lavi stumbled. Even in the dark, Esperanza radiated concern - and curiosity. Again, Lavi noted just how good a Bookman she would've made. She was a little bit too forwards about her curiosity, though, but that could be -

Lavi stopped that train of thought. As much as he wanted, he couldn't put that sort of structured life on Esperanza. She was a free spirit; being trapped by Bookman law and emotion (or lack thereof) would kill her. He suddenly smelled something, and he wrinkled his nose. He suddenly realized that, in his fear, he'd actually soiled himself. His face grew hot as he got up quickly, stumbling in the dark, and said, "Uh, excuse me." He knew that she knew, but never the less he tried to keep up the charade that he was going to the bathroom to relieve himself, not to change.

As he put on his second pair of pants, the mud and rain spattered pair, he realized the enormity of his dream. Just as he thought about it, all the sensations flooded back to him, as if they were _real _experiences. He knew that he could back all of that sensory information. The clammy hands were from nearly being grabbed by a floating dead body. The lobotomy was an obvious one. The needle, he'd seen hundreds of times from Jiji's set. Being held down... that was another memory he'd rather not recount, but even as he fought to _not _think about it, it came again.

He was left in a cold sweat after the memory had dissipated, and he found himself curled up on the bathroom floor, his head covered by his hands. It was still dark, and he could see nothing. He hadn't bothered with the light. The door opened, and Lavi cringed before realizing it was Esperanza. He felt hands run through his hair and a soothing voice saying things in Spanish, things he didn't understand.

"Come on, _amigo. _Let's go to bed. Take of those pants. I'll lend you a better pair." Lavi obeyed listlessly, feeling drained completely. He actually liked the empty feeling, though. It meant that there was nothing left in him to feel. There would be no fear, no hope, no sadness. Esperanza's hands guided his as he undid the pants he'd just put on, leaving them on the floor. She fetched him another pair, one made out of cotton cloth with a drawstring around the waist, and she helped him put them on. She began to lead him over to the bed, and he suddenly felt a burst of old, chivalrous male pride.

"Es-"

"You are sleeping on the bed." That Hispanic command left no room for argument. He was going to sleep on the bed, whether he liked it or not. He acquiesced just as he noticed that the sky was beginning to lighten from its dark black to a dewy gray blue, the color of early morning. Esperanza began to walk towards the desk and chair, and Lavi noticed that they were both flipped over. One of them even had a loose leg, and Lavi wondered if he'd done that. He idly watched her from the bed as she rearranged the furniture he must've displaced. A thrown sofa here... a scattering of pages and books... a broken curtain rod... a cracked window, even...

Esperanza was about to make herself at home on the small, tiny sofa (that Lavi had absolutely _refused _to sleep on the minute he'd come into the hotel room), and Lavi felt panic, the same panic that had hit him in the mountains. However, this time, he made sure to tamp it down to something bearable. However, as the dark began to close in, right on the cusp of sleep, the panic hit him full force.

"Esperanza?" Lavi whispered hoarsely, suddenly feeling like a small child. He hadn't had a nightmare since he was seven.

"Yes, _amigo_?" Esperanza answered, her voice sleepy.

"Could you, uh... could you pull the couch over here?" he asked, wide awake now. He sat up in bed, pulling his knees to his chest again. He rested his chin on his knees. Despite his feeling of terror, he managed to make a pouty face at Esperanza as she looked at him over the high back of the couch with a sardonic look. She sighed, and instead of pulling the entire couch next to the bed, she walked over in her pajamas. He was slightly shocked as she pulled back the covers and began to climb into the queen-sized bed she usually had to herself.

"You don't have to-"

"You try anything, and your balls are mine." Lavi resisted the urge to cross his legs and scooch away. She meant every word she said. The look on her face said it all.

"Okay," he practically squeaked, laying down. They were back to back, and Lavi felt the panic begin to dissipate, knowing there was someone else near him. The apparitions had felt so real, and they'd become a real fear, but with another person nearby the fear was toned down to a mere thrum of unease. He didn't feel like all forty-nine of them would jump him in the middle of the night. It was a childish solution, but it was a solution that seemed to work. Lavi kept that as a note to himself.

He was just beginning to drift off to sleep when Esperanza asked hesitantly, "What did... did you dream about?" He could hear the nervousness in her voice.

"I'm not telling unless you start telling," Lavi muttered, and he heard Esperanza laugh. He lightly smiled, his eyes shut. She shifted, and she said, "All right. If you tell, I tell." It was quiet, a tense silence that was heavy with expectation.

"I dreamed... I dreamed that I was being tried in court. And my lawyer didn't have a face," Lavi said. Esperanza whispered under her breath, " _Porque todos son el mismo._" Lavi chuckled, turning slightly to look at her. She turned as well, a mischievous glance in her eye. Lavi rolled his eye, and he flopped back down into his original position.

"_Anyways,_ as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted -"

She scoffed.

"-my lawyer didn't have a face and the judge... was, uh, my mother. She said that I was guilty of identity fraud and theft. And then I had forty-nine different copies hold me down and try to give me a lobotomy." He rubbed the eye under his patch, wincing as he thought about it. Even with Esperanza right behind him, he could still feel the fear that had rippled through him in massive waves. Esperanza was quiet before asking sheepishly, "Amigo, what... what is a lobotomy?"

"They stick a needle into your brain through your eye."

"Ah... That sounds frightening."

"It _looks _frightening." Lavi shivered, and Esperanza turned over. She put a hand on his shoulder, her thumb rubbing concentric circles on his back. He bit his lip as he squeezed his eyes shut but realized that was a horrible idea when the image of a needle approaching his other eye came to mind with horrible clarity.

"Your turn," he finally said. Esperanza was silent, the same tense silence stalling the air.

"There were dead children, everywhere there were dead children. They were asking me where their parents were. I couldn't tell them, so I tried to bury them instead. They kept crawling back out, and they followed me where ever I went," Esperanza whispered in Spanish. Her voice was choked, and Lavi turned around. They stared at each other for a while... and then, both simultaneously turned over.

They were afraid of what they would do if they had stayed staring at each other that way.

"Esperanza?"

"_Si, amigo?_"

"I don't think I'm going to be leaving any time soon," he murmured, hugging himself. He could feel her radiating body heat, and it was a comforting warmth to know that someone else was near. He thought back to _Dia de la Tequila, _and he felt guilty. That had been the day his descent had really started in earnest. It had also been the day he'd decided for himself who he'd wanted to be when he'd rejected his Bookman self and his plea to turn back before he killed them both. If not for his Bookman self, he nearly _had_ killed them both, and he wondered just how valid his other self's point might be.

"I won't be letting you leave, either. You're in no fit shape, not as you are." Lavi felt a brief rush of relief. Despite the fact he'd made some acquaintances in his hotel, he still felt horribly alone. They were friends made from firefights and blood and tears and shame. There was a bond there that was not easily severed. However, Lavi was scared to acknowledge it for fear that he'd have to cut the bond himself, striking deep and hard in order to release them both from each other.

"Esperanza?" Lavi said, turning over slightly. His words were thrown over his shoulder.

"_Si, amigo?_"

"Thanks. For, uh... for everything," Lavi put out awkwardly, and he felt the bed shift again as Esperanza sat up. He could feel her eyes boring into his shoulder as she stared.

"_No hay de que, amigo. __No es una problema._"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Another rather sporadic chapter to this convoluted fic of psychologically messed up goodness. Don't we just love this sort of stuff? Well, anyways, it's time to reveal our reviewers, subscribers, and the like!

On Team Review, we have three people: janrockiss, with her usual, lovable review, St. Iggy the Pyro, another lovable reviewer who managed to put up quite a bit of input from an iPod no less, and Chocoglazed123. As to the very latter, I don't mean to snark, but those little character tags _do _have a purpose. Not all stories are OC-centric. Just a note.

As for Subscribers and Favoriteers, I have absolutely nada on the newbie list. Ah, well. Better luck next chapter, right?

As for discussion questions, I have quite a few. How many of you think that Esperanza and Lavi are a confirmed couple? How many of you guys think they're _not _a couple at all? How many of you would _like _that idea? How many of you would loathe it? What do you think the symbolism in Lavi's dream means? Will allowing Esperanza and Lavi stay together create more tension or make things more relaxed? Are there any parts that you thought were funny or humorous? Do you think that Esperanza deserves the flack she receives?

Anyhow, that's all I've got for the time being. I should be back very soon with another installment.

God bless, and happy reading!


	18. Begging Your Pardon

Lavi twitched his nose in irritation as light began to penetrate his eyelids. He felt awfully sore, and he wasn't sure why. He slowly opened his eyes, realizing it was daylight now, and he sighed. This meant that the day had started. He didn't want the day to start. He felt utterly exhausted. Finally realizing that something was amiss, he looked up at his hands and promptly stared in confusion.

Why were his hands tied to the bedpost with rope?

The events of last night came back to him, and he groaned. He'd went berserk after a nightmare, just another worry to add to a rather extensive list. Still, he remembered Esperanza crawling into bed with him and threatening to relieve him of certain body parts should he attempt any sort of affection. Was this her doing? Maybe he'd ask... except she wasn't _there. _He quickly attempted to sit up, which put him in an awkward position as he realized he couldn't turn over. This probably explained the horrible, rheumatism feeling in his joints, seeing as he'd probably been sleeping in the same position for nearly twelve hours. He leaned over to the bedside table, and he could see a note underneath the alarm clock which read eight o' clock.

_My apologies. I had to tie you up just in case you started wandering around in your sleep while I am gone to Mass down the street. I didn't want you to fall out a window. That'd just be more of a mess for me to clean up whenever I get back. I'm sure you can figure out a way to untie yourself. I left a letter knife somewhere at the foot of the bed. Hopefully, you don't have to use the bathroom any time soon. I should be back around noon. If not, again, my dearest condolences. I will come back. Do not panic. _

There was no name written underneath the note, but he could guess who'd written it. He leaned back and sighed, staring up at his tied hands. This was awfully annoying. He started to work his wrists back and forth, all the while looking down to where the aforementioned letter knife happened to sit a mere two inches away from his feet. He started to work his feet from the sheets, but in doing so the letter knife fell to the floor. Lavi groaned in frustration. For the love of- She could've figured out a better way to keep him restrained! This was ridiculous! How did he end up in these situations?

He started to work his way off the bed, stretching as far as his arms would let him towards the knife, and he felt his arms burn as the tendons stretched in a myriad of unnatural ways. Just as his toes were touching the tip of the letter knife, there was a knock on the door. Lavi's face lit up as he yelled, "Yes?"

"Um, I here to clean the room, sir," a young, female voice said, and Lavi nodded. She could help him! He thought about the young lass behind that door and his current position... _STRIKE!_

"Sure, sure! Go ahead and come in!" The door clicked as it was opened. Lavi began to pull himself back up on the bed, sitting up as well as he could with his hands tied as they were. He was beginning to get rope burn from trying to work it off his wrists. Man, where did she get this rope anyways? And how did she manage to tie it so _tight?_

Suddenly, the young voice was talking to an older woman's voice, both speaking rapid Portuguese. A portly, older woman walked in with her hair slicked back into a bun, and she smiled in a way that sent chills up Lavi's back. The older woman turned over her shoulder to yell something at the prettier, younger woman who'd poked her head in the room. She stared at Lavi for a moment in amazement and embarrassment, her face growing red, and the younger woman nodded frantically as she left. Lavi muttered, "No, no, no, no, no...!" The older woman looked back at him, and she smiled slowly.

Oh boy.

* * *

><p>Lavi grumbled to himself as he pulled his uniform coat around him. The sun was shining, and the vendors were happily calling, but he was rather fed up at the moment. He'd just had to pay a maid practically a small fortune just to untie him and keep quiet about the whole 'tied up' thing. She would've been all too happy to blab, and blab the wrong things no less, and there was no way anyone would believe Lavi's 'I had a nightmare' story. It figured.<p>

He was going to give Esperanza a piece of his mind! That was what he was going to do! He was going to sit her down firmly at some restaurant, talk about how _rude _it was to tie someone to a bedpost, and then tell her that there are other ways to deal with such things. She could've at least asked for _handcuffs _or something. Those had keys, and if there were no keys, she could've at least put a bobbie pin in his hair or something. Rope... Ha! He was still suffering rope burn! He rubbed his raw wrists, trying hard to keep his mind on a single track as he navigated the crowd that was slowly pouring out of the Catholic church.

The nerve of some people... He knew that she was just worried about his welfare (after all, he'd broken a window), but that was a little overkill. She was going to reimburse him, if nothing else. Did she never learn manners? Of course not - she'd lived a lot of her life out _there _on the Patagonian plain or some such other place isolated from all of society. He was still stewing and huffing as he watched and waited for Esperanza. She wasn't hard to miss, after all. Those scars were pretty indicative.

He saw her walking out in a long poncho over her _gaucho _clothes. He blinked in surprise, realizing that he'd finally gotten used to her wearing a skirt. She was wearing high-waisted pants with a thick belt, a blouse, a long blade at her side, and a wide-brimmed hat. She looked exactly like a man of the wilderness, and he was speechless for a moment. Other people looked at her, either in astonishment or in disdain. Women did _not _dress like that. It was... unfeminine.

That didn't mean it wasn't attractive.

With a practiced shove, he moved his mind off that path and returned to his stewing. He headed towards her at a rapid pace, walking at-pace with her on the other side of the street. He kept waiting for a break in the crowd to approach her, and he finally saw an opening.

He began crossing the street, each step a stomp as he huffed to himself and recited what he was going to say to her.

"Esperanza -!"

He didn't get much farther than that before the automobile he'd conveniently been too focused to notice bowled him over. Esperanza's eyes widened in shock as she realized that her work partner had just been _hit by a car, _and she hurried over as a veritable crowd began to form.

"_Amigo, _what are you _doing -_"

As if nothing had happened, Lavi spluttered, "I am giving you a piece of my mind, that's what! You _left _me! _Left. _Me. I had to pay a maid to get me out of there, you know that?" Esperanza heaved a massive sigh as she hauled him to his feet. She spoke to the crowd, saying in Spanish, "He's all right, he's all right, nothing to see. It was an accident. You can go now." Lavi gave a rather rude hand gesture to the driver, and Esperanza, in return, gave him a smack up the side of the head.

"Ow! What? He hit me."

"You walked in front of him."

"...He still hit me."

"UGH. You are- ...never mind. Go back to the hotel," Esperanza ordered, and Lavi felt sufficiently snubbed.

"After what you did to me? How about... hm, 'no'. I'm following you today. I'm not leaving you out of my sight. What are you doing out here anyways? You could be killed. You have no weapons, and you're-"

"Not in uniform, unlike you. You've just turned me into a walking target. _Muy bien, Amigo, muy bien_," Esperanza said rather calmly. She removed a cigarette from her pocket and proceeded to light it, but she was interrupted when Lavi nonchalantly grabbed it out of her mouth and threw it into the nearest gutter. He looked off as she stared at him incredulously. He was acting like a child. He had a point about the whole 'tying him up' gambit, but that still didn't constitute this sort of behavior.

"Amigo, you are acting like you are five," Esperanza stated calmly. Lavi suddenly felt as if their roles were switched. He was the one who was angry and huffy, and she was the calm one. It was both refreshing and annoying at the same time. He grumbled something about 'handcuffs with a key', and Esperanza laughed. He was struck by how easily it had come forth - a laugh was rare, very rare, from her.

"You would rather be handcuffed? You are strange," Esperanza said good-naturedly, a small smile at the edge of her lips. Lavi felt strange all of a moment. Something was... off about Esperanza. She was too... happy? That wasn't quite the word he was looking for. As he walked, though, he did notice things. It was in his nature to notice things after all. There was a bit of a bounce in her step. She stood taller. She looked more confident. She had that shadow-of-a-smile more often than not, and her eyes didn't look so tight. She was... relaxed. He suddenly wondered what she might be taking and if he could have some, if it'd improved her mood this much.

"You're... cheerier... today," Lavi stated hesitantly, feeling awkward. Now that he had nothing more to rant about, he felt like he had no reason to be there. There were, after all, several books in his hotel room waiting for him. Lavi could feel on the edge of his conscience that he shouldn't be having a stroll with this odd woman wearing pants in broad daylight amidst a city. It was too... personal? Lavi could feel panic begin to edge in, and he wondered briefly if he was about to enter a memory, but none of the telltale signs appeared. There was no smooth transition into a different place, and Esperanza, his focus point at the moment, didn't disappear. She shrugged.

"I went to Mass. It makes me feel better. I am lucky I was taught Latin, though, otherwise I doubt it would've had the same effect," Esperanza said, her pace easy and unhurried. Still, despite this casualness to her stride and demeanor, he could tell she was on a mission of some sort. It was sort of chilling to see such an offhand mix of nonchalance and intensity. Lavi himself never understood people's fixations with religion or the effects it had. He'd seen men go mad from their beliefs, and others twisted their beliefs in order to suit their own ends. To Lavi, religion seemed awfully selfish. It was like they were trying to blame all of their shortcomings on a higher being.

"Who'da thunk it," Lavi muttered under his breath. He suddenly noticed where they were walking.

"You have business to take care of?" Lavi asked as the Order HQ of South America loomed. Esperanza's response was delayed.

"You could say that." They stepped inside of the quiet halls. It was a Sunday, so most of the Finders were probably at Mass somewhere farther away. Esperanza's pace suddenly seemed to go quicker, her feet sounding less sure of themselves as she headed upstairs towards the upper floors. Lavi recognized this route. He'd taken the same route the first day they'd arrived, following a trail of white-coated doctors. She was headed towards the Infirmary, and Lavi frowned. Her next appointment wasn't for the next few days. Her bandages were clean, and her wounds were healing smoothly, though seeing the bandages beneath the white blouse still made Lavi's skin crawl with empathetic phantom pains.

She opened the door, and Lavi could feel his heart thud in his chest. He recognized one of the men sitting at the end of the Infirmary. He had a telltale black eye, bruised nose, and a mustache. He was young. He was also probably the target of Esperanza's ire.

"Esperanza... Esperanza!" Lavi called as he tried to catch up with the woman walking ahead of him. He remembered the knife on her belt, and he felt dread build up in the pit of his stomach. She wasn't going to... would she? He remembered her enraged stare. Yes, she might. It was all too possible. He grabbed her shoulder, and Esperanza looked back at him as she stopped. Her eyes were unreadable, but he didn't detect the malice or hate he thought he'd see. She gave him a soft, very small smile. She patted the hand that was gripping her.

Even after being so angry (well, irritated, really) with her and so out of his depth with her these past forty-eight hours, he still didn't want to see her come to harm or put in trouble. She was his partner and friend, after all, and he decided that perhaps it was finally time to own up to it. It was too late, anyways. That nightmare he had had convinced him, at the back of his mind, that he was past returning to his former state of observational detachment. He couldn't just stay out of her life and watch. More than that, he _wanted _to be an active participant, a will he'd just begun to notice in the lives of others he'd interacted with. No wonder he was so protective of Allen, Lenalee, even _Kanda _of all people. Even Bookman elicited this response, and he wondered if this want was subconsciously human.

"Lavi, don't worry," Esperanza said, her face completely calm. Her facial expression reminded him of a woman resigned to death or some other such fate, and he felt the dread in his stomach weigh him down rather than lighten at this command. She was about to do something, to overstep her bounds in some way. Perhaps not in anger - he couldn't see it in her face. Still, he knew her pride, and he knew her pride too well.

"Es-esperanza -" Lavi stuttered, and Esperanza shook her head. She peeled his fingers off her shoulder, and he stared at her. Already, the men were whispering about the two Exorcists just standing there, having some sort of quiet argument between them. Esperanza turned away from him, and he watched her walk up to the man with the black eye, gash in his head, and bruised nose. He stared at her sullenly.

"Come back for more?" he asked in poor Spanish. Esperanza ignored the challenge. Lavi watched as her body loosened, as if she were about to enter battle. He'd taught her that practice, to relax one's body before a known battle in order to better respond to an attack. What was she planning...

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your friends. I'm sorry for your family. I'm sorry about any other people in your life I have hurt. I was angry, and I was blind. I didn't understand what I was doing or to what end. I know I can never make up for a grievous offense like I had, but I am trying hard to prevent any more deaths... Please, if you would, forgive me,"_ Esperanza finally said. Her words almost sounded rehearsed, but not quite. Lavi could tell she'd been thinking about this, and he suddenly remembered what he'd said last night.

_"Perhaps if you apologized...?"_ He took a deep breath, realizing what she was attempting. She wanted forgiveness. That was the basis of her God, wasn't it? Perhaps she thought that humans, given the opportunity, were the same... That she could be forgiven.

It was tense. Lavi could sense the apprehension and vulnerability that Esperanza was subject to. She was so eager for forgiveness, he could see it. She wanted to start over. The man in front of her sat there slack-faced in shock. The last thing he'd expected was an apology.

Esperanza thought she could see a flicker of something in the man's face, something that she couldn't place. Hope rose within her, and then...

...a globule of spit hit her square beneath the eye. She jolted in surprise as it began to slide down her cheek, smelly and disgusting. The man sitting in front of her gave her a solid glare.

"Forgiveness... A martyr wouldn't forgive you," the man spat out with a sardonic smile. "You're _filth._ You kill people. It's what you do. You kill monsters now, and that's a joke God has made for the rest of us to laugh at. _A monster killing monsters._" Esperanza stood there, stock still. It didn't even seem like she was breathing. Lavi watched her hands clench at her sides as she fought to stay still.

"You're a lowlife woman who's a floozy, who thinks she's so _big_. Look at you, wearing _pants _like you're a man, like you can own up to a man's responsibilities, just because you can swing a bandolier You think that you're on a higher level than us humans who care, who can feel, but you're not. You think you _deserve _forgiveness, just because you _asked _for it and you _apologized _and you think you _earned _it from fighting monsters that are just as bad if not worse than you. But your apology...? It doesn't mean anythingto me. You can put lipstick on a dog, but that doesn't change the fact she's still a dog."

Esperanza stood there, still as a statue, and the man sitting finally said," Get out of my sight. You're not even worth my time." Esperanza turned around slowly, walking away unhurriedly as if nothing had occurred. The man laughed suddenly, and he muttered, "See, I can even order her around if I want. She really _is _a dog." Some of the men around him laughed nervously, keeping an eye on her. She brushed past Lavi, and he was suddenly torn. He wanted to defend Esperanza and her honor. He had no doubt that her bid for forgiveness had been sincere, if horribly timed. Yet, at the same time, he needed to at least keep a modicum of detachment. This wasn't his affair... as much as he wish it were.

He followed behind Esperanza. He could deal with that Finder later.

* * *

><p>"I should've known better," Esperanza said, her feet scuffing the sand. The wind blew it ahead of the two, and Lavi sighed.<p>

"You were being honest. You did want to apologize," Lavi said. Esperanza was silent, just as she had been for the past hour or so. She wasn't so much sullen as slightly in shock and definitely disappointed. Lavi felt sorry for her, and he felt a pang. Human sympathy... it was the most unreliable thing. It was the reason he'd never put any faith in it. This instance just reinforced that idea.

Still, Lavi couldn't stand to see Esperanza so crushed. He'd wiped her face and led her towards the beach, planning on trying to make her feel better. So far, it hadn't succeeded, and he'd even resorted to nearly getting hit by a car... _again. _Right now she was in a funk deeper than the one she'd been in yesterday. He suddenly wondered when she'd gotten to be so emotional. Then again, from an outsider's point of view she _didn't _look emotional. She just looked like a woman with a blank facial expression walking next to a man who was chattering on about nothing. Perhaps he knew her better now, and those hidden nuances were better revealed to him.

Suddenly, he was struck by an idea. He looked around. There were... three carts at present. One of them was selling some sort of taco-type dish along with an assortment of other things. The second was giving out crepes. The third was... bingo! Ice cream. If _that _didn't cheer her up, nothing would.

He suddenly stopped her, standing in front of her. "Hang on, hang on, hang on." She sighed, knowing what he was about to do.

"_Amigo, _the action is nice, but -"

"No, no, just, stay here a minute. I'm going to go and get you some ice cream," Lavi said, digging for his wallet, and Esperanza frowned, a flash of interest in her eyes, the first sort of emotion he'd seen other than negativity and angst.

"...Ice... cream?" she asked, question marks practically floating around her head as she cocked her head to the side with a look akin to a puppy dog finding a perplexing new command. Lavi realized that she'd never even _heard _this word, much less anything else. He slowly smiled.

"Hohoho, you're in for a treat," Lavi said, running with a long pace to the cart with a sign 'Gelado' on the front.

"Could I have two scoops of tiramisu ice cream, please?" Lavi asked, pointing into the tub. The man nodded, and he promptly said, "Fifty real coins, please." Lavi frowned.

"Isn't that kinda steep?" he asked. His wallet was half-open, and, to his chagrin, had only twenty real in it rather than the required fifty.

Hey, that maid _had _taken a small fortune from him.

"No, not 'spensive. Fifty real, or no ice cream," the man said, shrugging. He held out a hand, twitching his fingers in a 'gimme' gesture. Lavi grimaced at his wallet, making a whining noise deep in his throat.

"How about twenty?"

"Fifty."

"Um... what about... fifteen?"

"Fifty."

"Oh, come on! Can't you see I'm trying to help out a distressed woman here?" The man selling ice cream rolled his eyes.

"One ice-cream for twenty five. No less," the man stated. Lavi sighed. This man drove a hard bargain... Lavi glanced back towards Esperanza, only to realize she was no longer standing there. His eye widened, and he scanned the surrounding area for the woman. Oh, she was... standing there on a pier. Odd, considering she couldn't swim. He humphed to himself, seeing Esperanza stand there rather dejectedly. He was going to get a scoop of ice cream, whether or not this man standing here liked it.

"Okay, what'll you take for two scoops of ice cream?" Lavi asked, running a hand through his red hair. His headband itched, and he readjusted it.

The man deliberated... and finally said, "Nice scarf. Very nice." Lavi looked down at the scarf around his neck. Dangit, he'd just bought this, too! He sighed, and he handed it over. The man, seeming contemplative, scooped him four scoops rather than two, and he handed them over. Lavi was surprised by the influx of charity.

"Go make woman happy," the man said, pointing with his scoop to Esperanza on the pier. Lavi smiled nervously before hurrying off with a couple of metal spoons.

"I'll be back with these!" he promised over his shoulder as he raced up the pier.

Esperanza stared at him with skepticism as he handed her two cups of ice cream. She cautiously sniffed each, noting the cold against her fingers.

"You've seen ice cream before, haven't you?" Lavi asked as he juggled his ice cream, spoon, and other assorted items. Esperanza shrugged.

"Didn't have enough money for something that sweet," Esperanza stated. She tentatively dug her spoon in the ice cream, pulling out a massive bite and taking a small lick. She stood there for a moment, staring at the scoop on her spoon... and then she quickly downed it.

"This is... is amazing!" she muttered quietly, her mood suddenly changed. Lavi cheered internally. Finally! A good reaction! He'd been hoping for something along those lines. Ice cream fixed everything... well, at least, in his opinion. The only case he know of which did not follow that pattern was Kanda and his hate for sweets. If there was nothing else that proved Kanda was grumpy and belligerent...

They stood there for a while, eating ice cream and enjoying the other's companionable silence. Every now and again Esperanza would speak, and Lavi would listen, or vice versa.

"_Amigo..._I had meant to apologize, but... I believe there is something wrong with me, at times," Esperanza said, looking out to the water. She was careful to stand in the middle of the pier. It wouldn't do to fall into the water and drown.

"Why's that?" Lavi asked through his last mouthful of ice cream. He was particularly glad that he hadn't had a memory meltdown today. Perhaps that dream had something to do with it. He'd have to ask Bookman tonight over his golem.

"Sometimes...I do not feel anything for killing those people," Esperanza said, completely deadpan. Lavi suddenly choked on his spoon, gagging and coughing as it came very close to becoming newly acquainted with the ice cream in his stomach.

"What?" he coughed. Not... guilty...?

"I know I killed them, and they continue to haunt me, but there are times when I feel nothing but hate for them. When I look at my family, yes, I feel that burden, but... I do not know. It is... something I worry about. They are dead now, and to feel guilty would not help me. Still, my mind rebels," Esperanza stated, shrugging. She looked down at the ground, and she looked over to Lavi.

"Is there... something wrong with me?" she asked, quietly. Lavi vacillated his answer, his mind racing.

Was there something wrong with her? Or perhaps... perhaps she was doing the _right _thing by letting go of her guilt? She felt no attachment to those people she had killed, and they were dead besides, but... Lavi couldn't truly tell her, because he himself had no real, true attachment. Despite his desire to be a part of his friends' lives, he could still feel that fear instilled in him by his Bookman training, like an instinct that nagged to flee. He could never truly enjoy attachment, and therefore he would never fully understand guilt either. He could not help her.

He opened his mouth, and the pier suddenly buckled. The two stood there, both in a semblance of shock. Lavi recovered first, accustomed to such strange happenings. He immediately removed his hammer, his face dead serious as he looked around for the source of the abnormal shaking.

"Akuma," Esperanza said, removing the long knife at her waist with a decisive flick of the wrist. Suddenly, a massive, spiked tentacle erupted from one end of the pier and slammed down. The two jumped back as splinters flew in the air, and another tentacle erupted out of the water. Below, the water churned as an Akuma thrashed underneath the pier.

"A kraken? Sheesh, the Earl's getting really unimaginative with his Akuma lately," Lavi joked as he beat off a tentacle that was flying in from the right. It was a steam-punk nightmare, made of gears and spikes. Not the most pleasant thing to see at dusk on a blustery afternoon on the pier.

"As long as they are easy to kill, I do not care," Esperanza stated tersely. She diverted another tentacle into the deck. It struck with such force that it was stuck in the wood, and she promptly hacked at it quite a few times over before it flailed off. They continued to beat back the tide of tentacles that assailed them. Lavi had had to save Esperanza quite a few times, as her reckless nature in fighting nearly had her thrown over the side quite a few times by a careless swipe of an appendage. She had no Innocence to help her now, and the pier was a good ten feet off the water.

"We'll never be able to kill this thing out here. We have to either drag it up or we find a way to kill it in the water," Lavi panted. He was growing tired of this game of 'dodge the tentacle'. He'd been cut across the forehead by a wayward spike that had flung off, and blood was dripping into his eyes. Suddenly a tentacle wrapped around his ankle, and it yanked sharply to the side. Lavi was stunned for a minute as his head hit the deck with a _thud. _

"Lavi!" Esperanza shouted, but she was suddenly distracted by another tentacle vying for her attention. She beat it off with the hilt of her knife, but it managed to clock her in the head. She managed to remain standing, though she staggered. He watched her begin to stumble towards him as he realized he was slipping off the pier. He scrabbled for something to hang on to, and Esperanza slid across the pier, jamming her knife between too boards hardly centimeters away from his fingers. Lavi was suddenly very glad that her emotional distress had nothing to do with her fighting and team work abilities. He grasped the hilt of the knife just as she grabbed his wrists with both hands, and he felt his shoulders begin to pop.

"Pull me in, PULL ME IN!" Lavi shouted as the spiked tentacle began to dig into his ankle. He looked back and began kicking at the tentacle, but it didn't take him long to find that there was no way that thing was coming free. Despite this, Esperanza continued to attempt to reel him in as he clutched the hilt of the knife, but she was also trying to fend off tentacles that were trying to flay them alive. She was already cut in several places across her back. Lavi looked up to the sky, and he fought to think through the pain. He had to use his mind. That was the only way they both were getting out of this... well, at least, one of them.

And that's when he had his idea.

He looked for his hammer. When he'd been dragged, he'd dropped it. It was no more than two feet from Esperanza's left foot, but any minute it could be knocked into the water, and then they'd be verily and horribly screwed.

"Esperanza! Grab my hammer!" Thankfully she didn't question it, slipping off her boot and gripping the handle of the hammer with her toes. She flung it towards the both of them, and he risked a hand to grab it.

"Now, when I say so, you have to let go of me!" Lavi shouted. Esperanza's eyes widened, but she looked away to beat off yet another tentacle with her foot. Blood splattered on the deck as a spike sliced into the ball of her foot. She let loose a small shout, but she kept her to stoic expression.

"Lavi, I am not letting go of you!" she shouted in response, and Lavi shook his head.

"Look, if you don't, you're going to end up with lots and lots of very unpleasant burns! Trust me when I say I hate hearing you complain! You _have _to let go of me! I'm going to electrocute this thing!" Lavi shouted. As if to emphasize the lack of time they had to discuss all of this, the tentacle yanked Lavi again, eliciting a scream of pain. Esperanza's eyes flickered between him and the ankle being torn to shreds out past the pier. Her knife wouldn't hold forever.

"Lavi..." Esperanza breathed with a darkening expression.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, his tone brooking no argument. She went still, shocked by his question. They stared for all of a few seconds before she nodded.

"Then let go of me on the count of three," Lavi commanded, his voice gravelly from pain. That tentacle was _really _beginning to bite. His arms were already shaking under the strain of keeping himself from going over the side. He felt like a fish being pulled in by its tail. He twirled the hammer into its right position, quickly invoked its Heaven Seal, and slammed it down. Clouds began to form overhead very quickly.

"One..." The tentacle jerked again, and Lavi could feel it edging close to bone.

"Two..." Sweat dripped into his eyes, and Esperanza looked pained as she ducked another tentacle. As if by instinct, Lavi knew that this was it. The lightning was going to strike... _now._

"THREE!" Esperanza flew back, leaving Lavi to grasp the knife by himself. He shouted as one of his shoulders dislocated itself.

"CLOSE YOUR EYES! _NOW!_" Lavi shouted, suddenly realizing that if Esperanza continued to watch, she'd go blind from the lightning flash. Esperanza covered her head just as Lavi sensed the heightening climax above.

Lavi didn't see it when it came down, but he _felt _it. It was as if every single hair on his head had stood up, every pore of his skin was screaming, all nerves completely overtaken with an overload of pain. He felt the tentacle unlock from his ankle, and he was sent flying. He hit the deck, and he slid across it. It took him a moment to realize that he couldn't hear as he watched the smoking tentacles of the dead Akuma flail in its final throes. Esperanza was running towards him, shouting. He felt dull surprise as he realized that she hadn't been affected. He'd thought she'd at least have felt the shock. He struggled to stand up, but his legs wouldn't support him. His vision was going in and out, and he had no idea what she was saying. She was pushing him down, now, looking him over with that dark look of hers, and it took a moment to realize that a lot of his clothes had been either singed or burned off. Half his uniform was left, which thankfully included a good bit of his pants, one shoe, and probably about a third of his jacket and half his shirt.

He sat up, blinking. His body was more resilient than most people's, and the injuries he'd sustained were much less serious than any other person who would've been connected to something hit by lightning. Even now his hearing was coming back, and Esperanza's voice was fading into his ears.

"...re you alright? Lavi, talk to me, you idiot!" He coughed, and he could've sworn that a cloud of smoke had erupted from his mouth. And then, suddenly, he began to laugh. Esperanza stared as Lavi dissolved into a fit of giggles and mirth. Finally, he said, "Let's do that again. I haven't had a fight like that in a while. That was fun."

Esperanza shook her head as she walked away to her knife. She looked over her shoulder at the recovering Bookman Jr. Crazy white people.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Finally, a chapter! I've been lazy this holiday season, sheesh...

Big thanks to Ryo Hoshi (thanks for the tidbit on lobotomy - I hadn't known about the girl with epilepsy) and Santashelper834.

As for my favoriteers, it looks like we've got new blood. Santashelper834 again! I'm noticing a pattern here with reviews and favoriting...

And, unfortunately, still no new subscribers. Again, better luck next chapter.

I have no discussion questions for this chapter. I'll be honest - I'm lazy.

God bless, and happy holidays!


	19. Vuelta

Lavi woke in another cold sweat. His wrists were bound by gauze, but despite their best efforts the shackles still chafed. He shivered as he curled up as best he could to fight off yet another, horrendous nightmare.

They had become much more frequent in the past two weeks. They had crept in on him with soft, padded feet. At first, they had been whispers. Now they were full blown shouts in his direction, blaring at him in the night and robbing him of sleep. He was sick and tired of being sick and tired, but there was nothing to do about that. His waking life was interrupted by memories that would assail him in the middle of fights, conversations, and everyday tasks. His nights were punctuated by his screaming, thrashing, and night sweats. In all this, he managed to keep a fairly cheerful composure, and only one person knew what was happening on the inside, that the parts of him that were Lavi were being broken up as his sanity was stretched to its snapping point.

Esperanza's cold hand was like a balm over his arm. She slept on the couch nowadays - she didn't dare sleep near him for fear of being kicked or hit. After amassing a rather gruesome black eye when Lavi's arm had actually pulled the shackles apart, hitting her in the process, they had decided it wasn't safe for her to be near him during his night terrors, and that it was best for her to wait until they had run their course before beginning her new, impromptu vocation as Lavi's caretaker in these matters of the psyche.

They had talked with the Vatican, or rather a representative in the South American HQ, and they had sanctioned their right to sharing a single space for the sake of cost, logistics, and Lavi's mental health, as it seemed it had been on the decline after Esperanza had left for a short period to help on a nearby mission. Bookman had yet to respond to summons, and Esperanza had yet to respond to Central about her convalescence in Europe. Things were at a standstill, and it was instigating Lavi's psychological problems to a drastic degree. Though the two had been assigned to missions within Sao Paolo in the past month or so, Lavi could not help feeling as if he were running in place. The feeling of going nowhere irritated him and rubbed him to the point of rawness. In secret, he and Esperanza had worked on finding the key to the object Darrin may have run off with, but in spite of this hard work, it didn't matter _what _it was if they couldn't _find _it.

In the meantime, they made friends with the locals. Esperanza was not a known face, and she had to work to make friends with those around her, especially those in the Order who were aware of her past actions and affiliations. Esperanza was not seen much around the Order to begin with, which had in turn made her seem mysterious and foreboding, especially given her appearance as a scarred, brutal looking woman with a penchant for a blank expression. Still, she had made headway, with Lavi's help, and he'd helped to show the better side of her. She was, after all, an Exorcist. Exorcists helped each other. She kept him sane, and he helped her make friends. It was a fair trade.

And it was time for her to cash in on her end of the bargain, it seemed.

"What was this one about?" she asked. She was kneeling next to the bed, her eyes level with his. Lavi's eye squeezed shut as he buried his face into his pillow. He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to tell her what he dreamed about this time. She usually made him, though, and afterwards, he had to admit that he usually did feel better. Still, this one was... was different from the others.

This time, he hadn't been the subject of the dream. She had.

"_Amigo, _you know what happens if you do not tell me what happened in your dream. I make you stay home, and then you don't get to go outside to play," she said, almost playfully. Her voice held a touch of humor, but not much more. He knew she was partly serious. She would make him stay home. He was more unstable after a nightmare, and instability in the middle of a fire fight was a recipe for disaster. Still, this dream had disturbed him more than he would like to say. This one had fed off of a memory he'd had, one he was ashamed of. Only this persona, Lavi, could feel guilt for a memory. All the others... People were just drips of ink on paper. They were just as short-lived, and they were just as unreliable. You never knew how they'd fall, how they'd splatter, how they'd be written in and smudged. Part of him was holding back because of that belief. Part of him didn't want to trust Esperanza. She was just like the rest of the drips of ink, the selfsame ink she'd bought for him from the calligraphy store to go with his ebony pens and his metal-flower inkwell -

The only gift he'd ever keep, ever hide, ever save. Why? Perhaps because Esperanza wasn't like every other drop of ink. She was someone he could trust. She had never betrayed his trust. He finally opened his eye and stared.

Those eyes. God, those blue eyes. It hurt to look at them, because he knew the minute he opened his mouth, that wide-eyed expression meant to coax and assuage would turn to one of disgust, fear, or pain. She was his friend, one of his best friends. How could he dream such a thing of such a good friend? His mouth fell open as he tried to talk, but the words stuck in his throat like barbed pine cones. A clay ball had taken the place of his Adam's apple, and he could feel tears pricking his eyes, but he wouldn't cry. He couldn't. He refused.

"You sure I don't get to play outside? All work and no play makes me a dull boy," he muttered humorously, despite the crack in his voice as he neared the end of his sentence. Esperanza's stare brooked no argument. She rubbed his forearm, and she broke the contact between them by undoing the shackles. The shackles were long enough that Lavi could reach the key around his neck, but Esperanza also had a key, and she released him. He rubbed his wrists were the metal had eaten at his skin.

"_Amigo, _it is no good to keep this to yourself. Your memories - "

"Esperanza, I know about my memories. If I didn't, we'd have more problems than me accidentally walking in the middle of the street at rush hour." Esperanza winced as she remembered the incident. It was one of those things where you had to be there. She could swear he'd dodged death at least a dozen times in an hour. If it hadn't been so nerve-racking, it would've been hilarious.

"Please -"

"It's not important, Esperanza -"

"You say that, but -"

"You worry too -"

"Much? You don't worry -"

"Enough. Look, can I tell you in the morning?" Lavi asked, now that he had his composure back. He sat up, looking down at her. She was sitting amidst a large array of books. In the predawn light, she looked like she was sitting in the middle of a flower made of pages. Her nightgown, which was usually white, glowed blue underneath the moon, and Lavi's skin took on a bluish, corpse-like tint. Esperanza seemed to contemplate, and before she could answer, Lavi lay back down. Esperanza was quiet, and Lavi pretended to go back to sleep. He heard her pad around the bed, and she waited a few minutes before sitting down and re-shackling him to the bed post. Her hands were gentle - she didn't want to wake him up again. Her softness pained him. He felt like he'd betrayed her somehow, yet he wasn't sure how he had.

When he was sure she was asleep again, he unshackled himself quietly and put on his uniform. He needed a walk to clear his head.

His golem rang nearly two miles down the main street their hotel occupied. He answered it in an alleyway, letting it flutter in the air as it received garbled transmission.

"If there are any Exorcists in the area, please, we need help! There are Akuma on the outskirts of time, on Ponderosa and Sao Iago! Please hurry, the talismans are breaking!" Lavi's eyes hardened. This was just what he needed. Perhaps fighting would take his mind off of all this hubbub. Fighting was his best type of meditation. It required all his focus, and it was rare that pesky memories would bother him - unless they were the potent kind. His enthusiasm dimmed as he realized he may be more hindrance than help, but he decided it was no use worrying about that. He was an Exorcist as well as a Bookman Apprentice. He would be fine. Fighting Akuma and saving people were his duty, even if these were people he wasn't allowed to connect with.

He sped towards the outskirts of the city, bypassing streets by taking rooftops as he was wont to do. The night air was slightly breezy from the sea, and he could taste the brine in the air. His nose twitched, and he sneezed. They were nearing a Southern Hemisphere summer, meaning the days of November, December, and January would be full of sunshine and storms. Lavi's body was not accustomed to the sudden change, and he had come down with a minor head cold. The sneezing just compounded the fact he was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It wasn't so much worrying as it was annoying.

At least, tonight he could see the stars. Clouds had threatened to blanket the Brasilian city in more drizzle, but they now searched for other venues. Perhaps the breeze blowing over the ocean had blown them out. Lavi was thankful - the night was nearly balmy because of the sudden loss of mist. He silently approached lights in the distance, no doubt Finders attempting to fight off Akuma near the outskirts of town. He dropped down on a fire escape, skidding against the metal to slow his descent down a few of the ladders. Without missing a beat, he was off into the street, wind picking at his rumpled, red hair.

Just as he turned a corner, he smashed into somebody, and he fell to the ground in a slight daze. People were milling around here in droves, probably evacuated because of the fighting. Lavi got up quickly, and he noted the stranger's face. He frowned as the half-lit face went in and out of definition. He realized that this was a face he recognized, and his eye widened.

Dominguez. He was still alive.

The drug lord stared at him in vexation before realizing whom he'd run into. The man doffed his hat congenially before slipping into the crowd, and Lavi began to go after him before hearing screams.

His eyes flickered back and forth in between the fighting and the disappearing drug lord. If he was alive... if he was here... What did that mean? What could they want here? Did he want revenge? Perhaps it was coincidence?

No... There was no such thing as coincidence. He should know better than that.

If Dominguez was here, there was more than a small chance that so was Lulu. He still had funds - the river was still flowing, though he'd phoned the Order to send people to try and remove the blood from the river and make it safe to drink. His poppy fields would continue growing, along with his other enterprises. His boys were still alive. There were still Akuma around...

But why were they here? What could they want that was within the city of Sao Paolo? The only thing they had ever really, truly shown interest in were the things that could possibly benefit them or kill them. It was one of the two that happened to be within the confines of the city, but Lavi didn't know what. Unless...

More screaming. He'd better make a decision soon. He turned tail. He could always chase Dominguez later. These Finders might not hold out for very much longer.

He raced across the rooftops, eying the Akuma trapped within talisman lights. He could tell that they'd already begun to fracture. He'd just managed to get there in time. He smiled to himself. Lavi to the rescue, it seemed. Finders cheered loudly as Lavi practically flew over the rooftops, his black and white Exorcist uniform flashing like a star in the moonlight. His hammer grew to the size of an elephant, nearly dwarfing the moon as it flew over head in an arc. He smashed it straight through an Akuma with easy precision. They were early stage Akuma, merely floating eggs with machine gun attachments. A few others were Level Twos, no problem. They took him less than an hour to take down, and the tired Finders sighed collectively right as the last Akuma succumbed to Lavi's massive hammer.

Lavi surveyed his handiwork with a hint of pride, already feeling better for going out and doing something worthwhile. Work always made him feel better. There really was nothing like a good workout to flush out bad feelings and a stale mind. One Finder ran up to him as he was walking the street, and Lavi gave him a slight smile, despite the late hour.

"Hey! What's the problem?" Lavi asked cheerfully. The Finder looked troubled, his stubble merely compounding that fact. His dark, heavy brow was made even heavier by the street lights and the moon. He didn't look happy. The Finder rubbed his shoulder, and he said, "Senor, we have a problem. Several got away into the streets. Most were Level Twos. They came from nowhere, senor." Lavi frowned. He'd expected they'd run, but he had no idea why that was relevant.

"Is there anything else? We can let them go, you know," Lavi said, patting the Finder gently on the shoulder he wasn't rubbing. The Finder blinked before flickering his eyes away and then back to Lavi's face.

"I... There was... warning. Someone told us that there would be an Akuma attack. We're not sure who. They called the Order, left a message with a clerk who reported to a senior officer. It went through the right channels, and... we were here. The Akuma were not prepared for us, but we were for them. We couldn't get a message to you soon enough, and other Exorcists were supposed to be en route. We do not know what happened to them," he said. Lavi's brow furrowed. That was certainly troubling. Civilians didn't know about Akuma. It was the job of the Vatican and the Order to keep panic at bay, and therefore most people were on a need-to-know basis. Only a Finder or one of the people from Central would know about an Akuma attack, but an Akuma attack beforehand was unheard of. They struck at random, showing up out of nowhere to ravage the towns and sections of city before disappearing again in their human skins.

"I'll talk about it with my partner," Lavi said reassuringly. The Finder visibly deflated, but he could still see apprehension. He'd flinched at Lavi's mention of his partner, and he realized he might've accidentally touched a sore subject. Lavi gave a small, sad smile. The Finder awkwardly began to leave, and Lavi felt like something was off. There was something about the information he'd been given that was sending up small, red flags in his mind's eye. As he walked, his hands in his pockets and his hair blown by the wind, he could feel it beginning to solidify in his mind. Why would Exorcists delay getting to the Finders? They must've called Lavi last of all, thinking he was with Esperanza. Had Esperanza gotten a call as well? He made a note to ask.

However, as he neared the hotel he felt foreboding wash over him. There was this unconscious feeling of unease within him. His mind was putting all the pieces together in the back of his head, but he had no idea what the picture looked like. It was like doing a jigsaw blindfolded - he could feel the pieces locking together, but he didn't know what the picture itself happened to be. Looking up at the room he'd left, he felt as if bony fingers were tapping along his spine. The lights were on, but he'd left them off when he'd gone for his walk. Esperanza could've turned them on when she'd realized that he'd left, but he had the creeping suspicion that the lights were on for a different reason.

He climbed the stairs with trepidation in each step, feeling like the soles of his boots were weighted down with millstones. He felt dread ball in the pit of his stomach, twisting and churning until he felt like he'd throw up. He looked down the hallway, and he noticed that the door was ajar. Immediately, warning bells went off in his head. Even if Esperanza had turned on the lights, she wouldn't leave the door open. She was a lone woman, though armed, in a hotel that was in the middle of a busy street filled with people she didn't know. Something was horribly wrong here.

He nudged the door open with the tip of his hammer, allowing it to swing open. His breath caught in his throat. The room was in absolute disarray. The sheets were torn and strewn about. The lights were actually lying on the ground. Chairs had been thrown, drawers had been rifled through, books had been torn apart and no doubt a few had been stolen. Their belongings were spread across the ground. The mattress had been cut open, the feathers still drifting in the air. His eye scanned the scene as he stepped in quietly, keeping an ear out for any intruders that may still be lingering.

He didn't hear anything upon entering the room. Most usually, an intruder's breathing was loud, distinctive, especially if they'd just been caught or they hadn't had a chance to leave. The windows weren't open - they couldn't have left that way. That meant that the only way out was through the door he'd just come through. The door had been ajar, meaning they left in haste. Whoever _they _were (and Lavi had an idea who _they _might be, considering all the information he'd partaken in the past two hours or so) had searched for something, some clue or person. They'd probably stolen whatever they'd thought was valuable or possibly helpful. The job looked thorough, but Lavi couldn't tell until he knew what they were looking for.

He heard the door behind him creak, and his instincts immediately sprung into action. He'd walked into more than one scene where the perpetrator had not vacated the premises, and Lavi had become attuned to where they might hide. Things seemed to slow down considerably as Lavi allowed his body to move for him, letting his brain take a backseat as he spun around neatly on the heel of his foot, slam the palm of his hand into the cheek of the person attempting to attack him, and using his other hand to grab that person by the neck and slam them against a wall.

However, in letting his body do all the work, his brain had no time to process that the person he was attacking was his own partner.

Lavi stared, dumbfounded, for nearly all of thirty seconds as Esperanza choked in his grasp against the wall. She clawed at his hands desperately, choking out, "Lavi...La...Lavi..." Realizing who he was slowly choking to death, Lavi let her drop to the ground, and she collapsed in a heap, holding her throat and greedily sucking in air. Lavi stared down at her, crumpled as she was on the ground in a torn, slightly bloody nightgown. A memory assailed him just then, but this was not like his other memories. This was a memory that wasn't real - a fabrication of his unconscious mind, one that had taken hold of him no more than two hours before.

He was suddenly in an alley way, the light from a street lamp throwing the three men and a woman into shadow as she tried to fight the other three off. Though she landed a hit on the first man, the second and third grabbed her. Lavi stood in the street, a war zone of running soldiers and firelight, watching the events from behind a half torn-down wall. He couldn't move - he seemed entranced by the things going on in the alleyway. Something at the back of his mind told him that in reality something different had happened, that he was hiding for a reason, but he didn't know that reason right now, and the thought left him as he watched the first man punching the woman in the stomach. She doubled over, her black, wavy hair covering her face from view. Her teak colored skin was streaked with dirty water and blood that was probably a mix of her own and someone else's. He lifted her chin to better see her face, and blue eyes flashed anger as she continued to struggle.

The man began to slip off the dress she wore, an old tattered thing that had seen better days, and Lavi was still as a statue. Finally, he hid his face as he heard desperate cries for help -

A massive pain between his legs brought him back to the present, and Lavi fell over on the ground, stunned beyond all belief. He moaned as he curled up around his abused parts, and he groaned in complaint, "Why the hell did you do that?" Esperanza stood over him with a look of disgruntled irritation, and she merely answered, "Payback." For such a levelheaded woman, she could be vindictive. Not that she didn't have a right to be angry or anything, but someone didn't just shove a knee so far up between his legs that he felt his gonads make friends with his stomach! It took Lavi nearly ten minutes to recover, and by then Esperanza was already changing into pants and a shirt. Lavi was sure to avert his eyes. She knew that he wouldn't dare stare at her, but in the event that he did, he'd have more things to worry about than becoming sore. He might just end up completely infertile all together.

"I take it that that's not your blood?" Lavi finally ground out, walking slightly bowlegged towards her as she put on a holster. She had taken to carrying a revolver around with her now that her Innocence was out of commission. Lavi thought of how his memory-version of Esperanza had been so fragile. His view of her was obviously skewed, because Esperanza was probably anything _but _fragile. She shrugged.

"I sent them squealing to their mothers," Esperanza answered nonchalantly, and she looked at Lavi with raised eyebrows.

"And where were you?" It was a simply asked question, nothing more than curiosity. Lavi winced.

"Took a walk. That dream was more than a little disturbing. Glad I didn't pee myself this time," he joked. Esperanza chuckled. Suddenly, she became serious, and she said, "You want to know what they were after?" Lavi blinked. That was a quick change in topic. He nodded to her.

"You know me. I love my mysteries. I love the answers even more." Esperanza suddenly walked towards a closet in the bathroom. He frowned as she opened it up. It was completely empty of all towels and bathroom supplies. It looked like a perfectly normal closet to him. Lavi frowned as he glanced around it before remembering something.

The closet had an extra shelf built into it, one that couldn't really be seen well from the bottom. Just as he was thinking of this fact, Esperanza suddenly removed a towel from the gap between the shelf and the wall of the door. Lavi's eye widened as he stared up into the gap.

"B-b-b-but... w-what in... and... he... you..." Esperanza nodded with a shadow of a smile.

She helped Darrin out of the small gap in the ceiling. The old man was lucky he was tiny. He grumbled some rather blush-inducing words before gruffly asking, "Damn it, man, is this how you treat yer elders? I'm starved! Ain't ye got any grub?"

* * *

><p>Lavi took up the three empty bowls, five empty plates, and two different platters as he recalled Darrin's story. The old man had eaten enough for an army, and as he'd eaten he'd told them his story, starting from when he'd seen them last.<p>

Darrin had immediately left following the fight that had ensued between Lavi and Esperanza. He'd told them it had been a scene out of hell. Lavi and Esperanza had winced simultaneously at Darrin's almost seemingly exaggerated account of their battle. He'd headed towards the lake, seeing as fire had practically engulfed a lot of the area. Strangely enough, during the fighting the water in the lake had evaporated after Lavi had sent his Fire Seal awry in pursuit of Esperanza, drying up a good portion of it. Darrin, who'd been hiding, spied something shiny at the bottom of the lake, and good old greed got the better of him. Despite being half out of his mind with both worry and fear, for himself and his companions, he'd scrambled down towards the object, taking it.

The fight, at that point, sounded like it was over. Lavi and Esperanza were nowhere to be seen, and Darrin had no choice but to assume they'd killed each other. The camp was little more than a char mark, and those that were alive had fled down the mountain. Darrin had done the same, but he took the path through the ruins, going deep underground before exiting at the small town at the mouth of the caves on the other end. He'd stayed there for a few days, packed up supplies, and he left with his new treasure. He had had no idea what the object was, but he was willing to keep it on the offhand chance that it was worth a pretty penny.

The really weird things happened only a few minutes after. Darrin had dropped the object, which was little more than a long, air-tight cylinder of either gold or bronze (he'd said it was hard to tell considering it was dark, the thing was grimy, and he hadn't had a chance to really look at it). It had rolled down the side of the mountain, and Darrin had been little remiss to see it go, seeing as it was taking up space.

And then it came back to him as quick as a boomerang. That was the moment he'd known he was screwed.

"Damn near thought I'd fall over of a heart attack. Never seen anything like that in my life. Weirdest thing I ever saw was you and yer strange hammer, and that woman with her gun."

Afterwards he'd wandered into Buenos Aires to try and catch a winter job. However, he'd noticed he was being followed every step of the way. Strange creatures had tailed him at night, and during the day he had been in constant paranoia. Eventually he was attacked by creatures with guns attached to them, strange things that turned people to dust -

"Akuma," Lavi had breathed when Darrin had described them. Darrin gave him a perplexed look, and Lavi had motioned for him to continue.

After being chased for nearly three days, Darrin decided to try and escape by steamer. He had learned that the Akuma were after the object he constantly had with him, but as hard as he tried he could not rid himself of it. It would merely come back to him or reappear. He did a little sleuthing and eventually found the Order as well as their headquarters in Sao Paolo. He had figured that they would know what to do with his certain problem.

"All I wanna do is go back home. This tumbleweed's about to stop rollin'. I'm gettin' too old fer this," he had muttered.

Lavi reviewed all of this with a keen eye and ear. He stared out the window, chewing on a piece of jerky like he would an idea, slowly and carefully with much deliberation and thought. Esperanza came to stand next to him, her profile strong beside his as they stared out at the city. They'd requested a room that was higher up, and they'd been given the top floor. It helped that the hotel happened to be on good terms with the Order, which tipped well.

"So you left the room to go and get something, bumped into Darrin, saw men outside, hid him, left down the hall, and then came back to attack the men who came in," Lavi said, firing off his theorem. Esperanza shrugged. She took a piece of Lavi's jerky, and he playfully pulled it away from her.

"Ah ah ah, am I right or not?" he asked, and Esperanza shifted an eyebrow. He finally relented and handed her a piece of jerky out of the many in his hand. They stood in companionable silence before Esperanza said, "So Dominguez is back?" Lavi nodded.

"And that means that Lulu may be here as well?" Lavi nodded again. Esperanza was quiet for a while longer.

"What do we do?" Esperanza asked. Lavi leaned against the wall adjoining the window, and he pursed his lips in thought. A twinkle shone in his eye, and Esperanza braced for some more teasing. Instead, Lavi asked, "What would _you _do?" Esperanza gave a questioning look, and Lavi smiled.

"Humor me."

Esperanza tapped the piece of jerky against her lips. She finally answered, "Take Darrin into Order custody, make sure no one knows where he is. Keep him under constant survelliance, give him a guard. We would obviously be with him. Have some of the scientists examine the artifact with Darrin in attendance seeing as it will not leave him." She raised her eyebrows again, her expression one of nonchalance. She shrugged. Lavi nodded.

"Good job. That's all we can do, really, until we figure out what _that _is," Lavi said, pointing to the safe in the wall behind the painting above the bed. Darrin snoozed softly in the bed, the only place he could be without the object busting out of the safe and ruining the wall. They'd already gotten antsy when Darrin had attempted to sleep on the couch and resounding gongs had rung through the building.

Esperanza nodded. There was quiet again, the only sound being Darrin's snoozing. Esperanza's mouth suddenlyh opened, but words caught in her throat. Lavi looked at her, noting every muscle twitch in her face. He could predict her so easily, yet at the same time she was a mystery. People had that effect on Lavi - so predictable, yet there was that element of surprise they still held.

"What did you dream about? I could see it in your eyes when you practically wrung my head off," Esperanza finally asked, her eyes dry with wit. Lavi felt his mouth parch in a moment as if someone had flash-bombed it.

"I, uh... I dreamed about you, uh, you being... stuffed in a dress?" Lavi said, hoping she'd buy the diversion. It was a flat out lie, but it was worth a shot.

Esperanza stared blankly.

Maybe not worth a shot. Lavi sighed, and he went to sit on the couch. He looked up at Esperanza, who was still standing near the tall window. City-light bathed her in a strange mix of orange and black. His one eye seemed to reflect sadness as she stared at him, the worry she tried so hard to hide seeping out through the cracks of her mask.

"You were... attacked. A lot of my memories are war atrocities, and you were...someone was taking advantage of you. I'd watched a woman forcefully taken when I was about thirteen. I was taught not to interfere with anything, so I had no idea what to do," Lavi finally said, his voice low. It was a shameful admission. Now that he knew so many young women, Lenalee most of all, that memory pricked like a thistle. He'd tried hard to bury it, but it seemed everything he kept trying to hide was floating the forefront of his mind.

Esperanza was speechless for a moment... and then she shrugged. Lavi was surprised by the amount of nonchalance she displayed towards the subject. Suddenly, he began to assume the worst before she said, "_Amigo, _that does not bother me in the least. You had a nightmare, and that is all. Were you worried that I would be upset?" Lavi was speechless before he said, "I didn't know what to think. I guess." Esperanza gave him a rare half-smile, her eyes strangely warm despite their near-icy color. She walked over to him, and she ruffled his hair. He blinked in surprise at the action.

It had felt... warm. Familiar, even. He was getting a feeling of dejavu as he looked up at Esperanza. She walked towards the bathroom, probably to get ready for another night on the couch. Lavi himself was going to be asleep in his own separate room. He chewed over this new predicament, staring at Darrin as he thought and thought and thought.

When Esperanza came out of the bathroom, she found the redhead asleep in his chair, and she rolled her eyes. Having mercy, she shifted him to the couch and left him there, asleep. Hopefully he couldn't do much damage where he lay. She sat down in a chair, deciding that it was best to just wait out the morning.

The sun began to rise, ringing in the new day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Yet another chapter! I know, you all want to tar and feather me (I don't know why, but I always imagine that as the torture of choice for angry fans). This is more of a filler chapter with a bit of plot thrown in, and hopefully we'll get on track in the _next _chapter afterwards. I apologize for the number of fillers I've been throwing in. I hope you'll stay interested.

Now, for the recognition! Thank you, my dearest reviewers PrevalentMasters (I am flattered by your review) and especially Ella Unlimited. Welcome back, to the latter. You have been missed.

For my newest subscribers, I'd like to thank Raven of the Willows, PrevalentMasters, and Death-Sama01. This is a good bump up from the number of subscribers we had from the last chapter. Woopie! Big thanks for adding this to a probably rather extensive list of stories. I trust you're all avid readers.

And then, my favoriteers. If only I had a trumpet so as to trumpet my fanfare for you (oh, the puns). Big thanks to PrevalentMasters, Death-Sama01, Raven of the Willows, and darknessqueen101.

Man, these stories should have 'like' buttons. That'd be helpful, too.

Anywho, now for the discussion questions! What do you think the mysterious object is? Is Lavi's dream really that disturbing? How far is he sliding down the slope of insanity? Do you believe this story is reaching its end? Is Lulu Bell ever going to reveal her plans? Is Lulu Bell even in Sao Paolo? How do you like this setting, and does it need changing? Is the story going stale with the same thing over and over?

Remember, review, subscribe, and favorite! I can't make bricks without clay.

God bless, and good reading to you all!


	20. Peligrosa

His memory skyscraper was collapsing. Even in this meditative state where he was not _really _inside of it and not _really _outside of it, where he was in that place between the mind and the material, he could see that his accumulation of memories was beginning to crumble together into one single place. No longer were they neatly compartmentalized - rooms were running into other rooms, the memories segueing into one another in a patchwork pattern. It scared him, because this showed the state of disrepair his memories were in.

Yet, at the same time, he could see progress. Walls were being rebuilt here and there where he'd painstakingly began to reconstruct the partitions between his personalities and memories. He could see where the division was becoming more and more apparent. It helped that Esperanza and Lavi had made an agreement - it would no longer be acceptable for either of them to interact more than needed. After much discussion over the matter, they had realized that Esperanza could aggravate his mental symptoms as well as assuage them. This new change was made easier by the fact that Esperanza, as of late, was terse and brusque. She had learned something from a friend of hers, but he knew not what, and it had shaken her foundation just as soon as they'd begun to repair it. It pained him to know that the camaraderie they had shared must come to such an abrupt end, but there was nothing they could do for it.

Too many people were getting hurt. They had to think of others before themselves. They didn't belong to themselves. They were owned by the people they protected and whatever God the Order served.

Just as he thought of this, he drifted into a memory. It was painful - he could remember every single moment of it, and yet the moment itself had been false. None of it had been real, save for the last part. It had all been smoke and mirrors overlaying the real world.

Lavi watched through his own eyes as terrible monsters that put the Akuma to shame traipsed around him, taunting him and snapping at him. He remembered the adrenaline pouring into his system like white hot metal through thin tubes. His body had been jittery, afraid.

His hammer had smashed into the monsters, some of them dancing away. At long last, he hit one with a good, solid feel. He was winning against them, and that flood of euphoria when one realizes that an enemy is about to be vanquished suddenly assailed him. Everything tilted and shifted as the monsters, no doubt Akuma of the Earl, maybe even something worse, continued to prowl around him. One approached him, almost nonchalantly -

The real world crashed around him like massive sheets of colored glass. Everything splintered around him as the true information of the world blasted through him, and instead of Akuma, he saw people. They were appalled, mouths hung open and eyes disapproving, wary, frightened. For several seconds, he did not understand until Esperanza restrained him, and he shrugged her off. Her hands locked around his wrists, and she spoke soothingly to him in Spanish. He stared at her in perplexity, answering in kind with fluid Spanish, foregoing his facade of ignorance.

He saw her, then. The woman he'd hit full on in the head with his hammer. She had a massive gash down the side of her face, blood pouring out of her cheek and forehead. White bone gleamed in the light, and Lavi felt sick. The blood reached his nose, and he realized that the smell had actually triggered his return to the real world. His heart pounded in his chest, and his eyes began to prick with tears. He could've killed that woman, and he wouldn't have ever known it. No one had been able to stop him. Lavi was a very powerful man, and it looked like Esperanza hadn't even dared to get in his way.

He jolted out of the memory, and he realized that a tear had slipped out from under his eyepatch. He wiped it away, and he stood up from his spot on the floor. The Order had given him lodgings in the headquarters after Esperanza and Lavi had decided to split after the hallucination incident. Bookman had actually called in, and he had agreed to meet Lavi there within the next two weeks. He'd felt a small feeling of elation to finally meet an old face, both literally and figuratively, but there was also a certain amount of uncertainty. He had no doubt in his mind that Old Man Panda would probably crack down on his meditations, how well he remembered his history, and how best to tackle this problem.

For now, though, Lavi was merely investigating Lulu Bell's whereabouts, the reasons for Dominguez's presence within Sao Paolo, and what the hell object that Darrin had with him.

Speaking of Darrin, he immediately turned down the marble halls towards the old man's residences. Seeing as he was a high-profile target, they'd decided it would be better to keep him within a fortified room of the Order. They'd tried numerous times, with rather hilarious results, to separate his object from his person, and so far it had turned up nil. As Lavi headed towards the labs that happened to be right next to Darrin's apartments, he figured they were trying yet _again._

"Hey, guys. How's Project Separation going?" Lavi joked, his mirth significantly dulled. The meditation had done its job, but it always left him feeling slightly... disjointed. Still, it was better than the alternative. The eggheads all looked up from their contraption, and one of them, Roberto, stood up and perkily answered, "Going great! We've got this thing all revved up and ready to go. We've been studying how that cylinder's stuck to him, and it looks like some sort of homing device. We think we can denature the homing device, seeing as it uses magic and some sort of protein indicator..."

Lavi took a look at the device they were proudly beaming over. It looked like Satan had met a mechanic and had a little chat with him, because this thing was a massive canister on wheels that had runes carved all over the place. It looked like it would eat him the minute he touched it, but he had no doubt that the Science Department knew what they were doing.

"Have you tested it yet?" Lavi asked, and everyone sheepishly looked in different directions.

"Uh... well..."

"There's... there's this, uh..."

"...haven't... really gotten that far..."

Lavi sighed. Of course they haven't. They'd probably just thrown it together about ten minutes ago. Roberto shrugged, and he said, "It's supposed to work... in theory. And besides, Darrin's kind of worn out. He's had to dodge that stupid canister about fifty different times today, so we're giving him a break." Poor Darrin had the unhappy task of either catching (or dodging) the canister when it flew back to its original owner. It was that or he would try to guess where exactly it would instantaneously appear again, if they managed to separate them that much. Lavi had seen the bruises. They were still in their purple phase, but it looked like the newer ones were a lighter yellow and green, so that had to mean progress, right?

"Is he in there?" Lavi asked, pointing to the apartment door, and the group of scientists nodded. He saluted them, giving them a cheery smile, and he walked towards Darrin's humble abode. Behind him, he could hear them fussing over their new contraption, no doubt adding things and subtracting things. If he could, he'd help them with the math aspect, but he'd promised Bookman that he'd try to focus on the Argentine deserts, myths of the Andes, and other such topics for clues on what the artifact that the Noah wanted could be. That also meant cracking the object that Darrin had with him, and he'd been at it every day for nearly a week.

The object that Darrin had with him was a canister about a foot long and six inches in diameter. It looked like a carrying case for a rather large scroll, and it even came with a chain. It was also equipped with a set of dials made of some sort of white stone inlaid with strange, sharp numerals that were in English. Lavi had managed to find the translation for most in an old text in the anthropology library of one of the local universities. It was a primitive number system from the very tip of the South American Cone. However, there were six dials spaced out every two inches, each of them containing ten numerals. It was the equivalent of a tumbler-locking system, and the only clues they had to unlocking it was a small riddle written in another obscure language in between all the dials. While Lavi attempted to translate the riddle into English, Darrin had been working on finding the right combination.

Lavi knocked on the door, and Darrin shouted gruffly, " 'S unlocked! C'min, I'm decent!" Lavi winced as he remembered an instance where he'd waltzed in unannounced to a Darrin who liked to sleep in his birthday suit when he was alone. One of the problems with having a perfect memory was that Lavi could remember things in perfect detail. Darrin's bare behind was _not _something he wanted to know about in mind-numbing accuracy. The redheaded Exorcist opened the door, cheerfully shouting, " 'Lo! Just came to check on you. I heard the eggheads have been working you ragged. I thought you might like some company." Darrin was sitting on his couch with the canister sitting next to him, gleaming bronze underneath one of the lamps in the ceiling.

"Got that right. Them fellers got a mouth on 'em, 'at's fer sure. Can't hardly figure out a darned word they're sayin'. Glad t'have some'un that's half way normal," Darrin grumbled as he ambled towards the icebox for a beer. The canister immediately strapped to his back, and Darrin payed no mind. Lavi guessed that he was already used to its presence. Darrin slammed the chest closed and said, "So, I heard you 'n Miss 'Speranza done broke up." Lavi's eye twitched. Not only was the question awfully misleading, Darrin's now-open beer was giving him a headache. Even the smell of booze practically knocked Lavi off his feet these days. Walking into a restaurant was the equivalent of a living nightmare. Food still held little appeal for him, and he'd dropped almost fifteen pounds in three weeks. Heh, Bookman was right: "Want to lose weight? Stop eating."

"We didn't 'break up'. We moved apart. It wasn't good for either of us to live in the same hotel," Lavi stated with a subdued smile. Unconsciously, he looked off, and Darrin caught the look in his eye. Darrin guffawed, and he asked, "Is that what you tell yourself at night when yer sittin' all alone with a bottle a' Jack and huggin' a picture of her in nothin' but her underthangs? Hahahahahaha! 'At's a good one." Lavi was taken aback, and he blinked several times before stuttering, "W-what? No! That's - No! That is so wrong. You're disgusting!" And, true to his nature, his mind conjured up the image just as Darrin described it, and Lavi facepalmed. Darrin snorted as he tried to cover a snicker, and he shook his head while he headed back to the couch.

"Ain't told me about what's goin' on lately, y'know. Had to ask some o' the eggheads back there. Somethin' 'bout all those hallucinations, wanderin' off in broad daylight with stars in yer eyes, nearly gettin' yerself killed, talkin' to things that ain't there..." Lavi frowned, as he looked back at Darrin. The old man knocked back, and he took a glance of the redhead out of the corner of his eye. In that moment, Lavi knew that Darrin had heard all the dirty rumors that had spread about the Apprentice Bookman's mental fragility.

"Don't remember you sayin' anythin' 'bout that since I got here. Course, most of it's probably jist smoke 'n mirrors, ain't nothin' real," Darrin stated, shrugging, but Lavi could tell that he was formulating his own opinions. Lavi rubbed the bridge of his nose. Darrin was just waiting for him to tell him the truth, but Lavi didn't know if it was his _place _to tell Darrin about these private matters that probably only existed within the Bookman clan. Lavi sighed, and he decided to use an age old tactic.

Change the subject.

"How far did you get on that canister? Any luck yet?" Lavi asked. Darrin deliberated, and he said, "I didn't get too far. I think a few're lockin' in place right, but I ain't no safe-cracker. This thing's shut up nice 'n tight." Darrin patted the cylinder fondly, and he took another swig. Lavi took a seat, and he looked out the only window. The city bustled as usual, but Lavi was beginning to miss the country again. Even with the lack of people, at least he didn't feel like he was sucking in smoke and tar every other breath. No wonder this place aggravated Esperanza so much. Lavi was getting sick of being cussed at every time he crossed the street. Granted, he tended to cut across cars when he did, but...

" 'N you? What about that riddle? Got any clue to it?" Darrin asked, and Lavi shook his head. He'd assumed at first that it was the same language as the numerals, but it hadn't made any sense in English. He'd checked several other languages from that time period, but none of them made any sense in English either. Perhaps Bookman would get a little bit farther ahead.

"Nope. I've got nothing. The thing's near impossible to translate," Lavi grumbled, finding it absurd that he'd been so easily defeated by this unknown language. He sat there thinking, and it remained silent as Darrin took swigs of his beer. The redhead dragged a hand through his unkempt, fire colored hair, and he said, "Was it lonely out there? By yourself?" It was quiet as Darrin deliberated.

"Yeah. It was pretty... pretty quiet. Had to sell my mule back up near Caracas. Near killed round Buenos Aires, just about got my head taken off in Rio. Poor girl, by the time that mule got to Caracas, she was ready to drop of a heart attack. I'm sorry I let her go," Darrin murmured, holding his beer tenderly as he remembered his faithful mule. He'd done it for her benefit, but he missed her greatly. He'd raised her from a small colt, ugly as she was, and she'd been with him for nearly ten years. Seeing her go had nearly brought the man to tears.

"Well," Darrin said gruffly, regaining composure, " 'nough about that. Ain't nothin' to - boy, are you cryin'?" Lavi's lip quivered as he protested weakly, "No!" He was remembered Chuleta. That was... was such a good horse... even if that dumb horse nearly sent him down the mountain every now and again for a patch of grass... Thinking about Darrin giving up his mule was just as bad, if not worse.

Darrin rolled his eyes, and he muttered, "Yella belly." He drank the last of his beer. Lavi sighed, wiping away another non-serious tear from his face. They sat in companionable silence for several more minutes before Darrin said, "I ain't heard from Ranza lately. 'S there some reason she ain't been up to see me, or is she just mad about this li'l thing?" Darrin held up the drawing he had of Lavi and Esperanza embracing in their sleep, and Lavi narrowed his eyes. Darrin snickered as he put it away in his breast pocket.

"Esperanza's been tied up trying to get her Innocence reintegrated," Lavi explained. Darrin gave him a confused look, and Lavi further explained, "Her weapon's been smashed to itty bitty pieces and they have to try and put it back together again." Darrin nodded in understanding with a receptive 'aaaaah'. He suddenly belched, and Lavi just about fell over from the stench. He scratched his stubble, and he said, "I think I'm goin' ta sleep 'fore them science fellas come back in and ask me to catch this thing again." He held up the canister, and Lavi nodded. Lavi _thought _that meant the man was going to go to his bedroom, but instead he seemed to fall asleep right on the spot, instantaneously snoring. Lavi raised his eyebrows at the sleeping old man, and he crept out of the apartment on tiptoe.

But, of course, there was a pen in his pocket. No points for guessing what happened to Darrin's face. He also managed to lift a certain drawing...

Lavi snickered as he left, passing by the scientists still working on Project Separation. They were still conferring among themselves, and Lavi was tempted to help them. All those formulas... he wouldn't be too unhappy to help them with that -

His track of thought was suddenly halted as he caught sight of Esperanza. He felt his heart thud in his chest as he felt a wave of dejavu wash over him. She was wearing a white outfit reminiscent of the Second Exorcist uniforms. Lavi watched her pass through the hall past the scientists bickering over their contraption. She was being escorted by several doctors and scientists as well, and they all looked... tense. Lavi frowned. He didn't like this. He was getting bad vibes. Lavi generally listened to his bad vibes. These were the type of vibes that would send elephants heading towards higher ground.

Lavi looked up and down the hall. There was no one watching... save the eggheads, but if Lavi gave them choice gossip (and he had a _lot _of that), they usually keep quiet for him. He'd gotten out of trouble more than once by bribing a scientists with a bit of dirt on some of their fellow colleagues. They were worse than a gaggle of old women.

Deciding it was safe, Lavi began to follow the group. He made sure to stay inconspicuous, hiding behind pillars now and again, turning around when one of them looked in his general direction. Now if he only had a newspaper... Eventually they ended up going into one of the deeper floors of the Science Department, and Lavi felt his stomach begin to fill with dread. This was the room they used for the really dangerous experiments that had the potential to completely obliterate things in a fifty meter radius. What were they planning on doing down here? And what were they planning on doing that involved Esperanza?

Lavi felt guilt settle over his mind like a thin layer of oil. Despite the fact that he had basically sealed himself off, more or less, he still felt for Esperanza. It was a close friendship that was hard to end, and it still lingered like the aftertaste of chocolate. Lavi was still fighting fondness, especially for his friends back at the Order in Europe, and having one friend so close to home definitely didn't make that any easier. He shouldn't _feel _this way, though. It was asking for disaster, and he felt like he was betraying Bookman after telling him he'd try harder to control his emotions and keep everything at arm's length.

Esperanza walked into a large vault in the midst of an entourage of scientists, doctors, and a few suits. Lavi slipped in behind them, suddenly glad that he was wearing his civilian clothes. His Exorcist outfit stood out too much, especially around a headquarters with such a small number of Exorcists. Lavi hung back as they journeyed down a rather close and cloistered anteroom. It was darkened, lit by glowing consoles. A large pane of glass separated the actual experimental area from the anteroom. Esperanza went through a steel door leading to the experimental area, and Lavi watched as several of the scientists busied themselves at the controls.

The experimental area was mostly empty save for a strange shrine in the middle along with an EEG, EKG, and a pedestal full of shards that was, no doubt, Esperanza's innocence. They were hooking her up to the EEG, EKG, and the shrine. Suddenly Lavi was struck once again by the resemblance to the Second Exorcist Program. This was so similar... They couldn't be thinking -

"Lavi! What are you doing here?" a voice whispered furiously. Lavi turned his head towards the voice, finding Ricardo, another scientist that Lavi had befriended through a mix of prank-topping and dirt-bribing. The sandy-blonde haired Uruguayan looked both distraught and terrified. He hurried over to where Lavi was half-hidden behind a machine, and he whispered, "Lavi, you shouldn't be here right now. This isn't your business." Lavi decided to take that as a suggestion, and therefore ignore it completely.

"What are they doing to her? That looks an awful lot like -"

"Forceful integration? Believe it or not, Alfons was against it, but some of the Vatican higher-ups were willing to give it another shot and suggested it, Lavi. There were... were files, files that should've been destroyed, but the high commanders are getting desperate. Esperanza's trapped. It's her only out or she goes to Central, and they're not as nice as we are. Besides, she had traces of her Innocence in her bones, so we thought maybe she was still compatible enough that this might not be as damaging as in the Second Exorcists trials," Ricardo muttered nervously. He shifted from foot to foot as Lavi digested this information. There was a reason there was a similarity - in essence, this _was _the Second Exorcist trials.

"Ricardo, there's only ever been _one _true case of complete integration in _90 years. _What the hell makes you think that it can work?" Lavi whispered fervently. Ricardo looked towards the experimental area behind the glass, and he whispered back, "Because they call the shots. No one says that we think it'll work, Lavi." He gestured to the suits, and Lavi felt lead fill the pit of his stomach.

"_Inicio en cinco..._" Lavi frowned.

"..._cuatro_..." Lavi shook his head.

"We've got to stop them. They'll kill her with that thing."

"Once it starts, stopping it could kill her just as -"

"..._tres_..." Lavi began walking towards the console, Ricardo following on his heels, yelling at Lavi to wait.

"..._dos_..." Lavi pushed past the other scientists so fast that they had no time to react as he began to unlock the door.

"..._uno_..." He realized he wasn't going to make it as the shrine arced with a strange energy, and Esperanza stood, supposedly unfazed.

And then the screaming and blood started. Why did it always have to be screaming and blood?

Lavi watched as Esperanza raised her hands to block the sudden wave of energy rushing towards her through the electrodes connecting her to the pedestal, and arcs of blood flew away from broken skin as the energy overloaded her body. She shouted involuntarily, gritting her teeth as she fought the urge to scream. The Innocence rose from the bowl, drifting into a more uniform shape for all of a few seconds as Esperanza strove to stay standing. Lavi's single green eye widened as it seemed that, just for a moment, her Innocence was going to reintegrate with her -

The session ran its course, and the energy disappeared. Esperanza fell to her knees, a bloodied mess, and a voice said, "She's a tough one, isn't she?" Lavi nearly jumped out of his skin, alongside several other scientists who'd failed to notice the intruder pushing around them, and he choked out, "G-gramps! When did you get here? Hell, you just about made me pee myself..." Bookman 'hmphed' derisively before turning to stare at the spectacle behind the glass.

"They're dragging this old trick out, are they? Hmph. Serves her right letting them try," Bookman grumbled, shaking his head. His lined face looked like it had been carved out of a block of wax. The tracks in his face looked deeper than usual, but Lavi put that to the lighting of the lab. The two Bookmen stared at the EEG and EKG machines, watching the lines blip ominously. Lavi resisted biting his lip as two scientists walked into the room and hauled Esperanza to her feet. She was shaking, but she was recovering.

"I'm surprised she didn't die automatically. Even Kanda didn't hold up for very long. Of course, he was probably about nine at the time, and she's twice his age," Bookman said. Lavi muttered, "Almost. She's seventeen."

"Eighteen. Her birthday was three weeks ago. Idiot Apprentice, you've been slacking in my absence," Bookman grumbled, slapping Lavi on the rump. Lavi yelped on instinct, rubbing his sore seat.

"Your smacks haven't gotten any lighter. If anything, they're harder," Lavi grumbled as Esperanza stood up straight. She shook her hands out, and she said, "Do it again. We were close." Lavi frowned, running a hand through his hair.

"Again?"

"Apparently. You haven't gone deaf as well, have you, Apprentice?"

"Shut _up. _I haven't been _that _bad." Lavi subsequently found himself on the floor, cheek stinging from a kick to the face. Several scientists watched in horror, most of them already looking sick from witnessing Esperanza basically turn into a human equivalent of hamburger.

"Lavi! Oh... Bookman. I-I'm sorry, but the two of you need to leave, like, _right now," _Ricardo muttered to the two. He glanced back, where two CROW were staring at the intruding pair rather... obtrusively. "If you don't, I think those two are going to say something, and by 'say', I mean 'forcefully remove.'" Lavi and Bookman glanced at each other, and Lavi said, "All right, all right, Ricardo. Don't get your panties in a knot. I know how painful that can be." Ricardo grumbled something along the lines of 'dumb redhead' as Lavi and Bookman made their way to the door.

" 'Scuse me, pardon me, woops, my bad. Hey, sorry, 'scusez moi, old man coming through, make way for the elderly- OUCH!" Lavi rubbed his head. That was twice! The crowd gawked as Lavi audaciously scootched his way to the door, and he opened it for Bookman. The old chronicler made no comment as he passed through, and as Lavi left he caught Esperanza's eye. The two stared for what seemed like a very long time when a scientist said, "_Oisteis la mujer. Intentamos uno mas. Inicio en cinco..._"

Lavi left, and Esperanza braced herself.

* * *

><p>"Give that to me." Lavi was surprised when Bookman suddenly snatched a rather offending piece of paper from Lavi's breast pocket. Lavi felt momentary panic as he realized what his master had in hand, and he stammered, "W-wait a s-sec here!" Bookman hopped away over several pieces of furniture in Lavi's room, and he surveyed the picture critically from his perch on top of Lavi's couch. Sardonically, he muttered, "Rather good likeness if you ask me. I didn't think you were so good at art."<p>

Lavi tried to pull the piece of paper out of Bookman's hand, but the old man just held Lavi off by shoving a hand in his face and holding away the piece of paper, still looking it over.

"So this is the girl? Odd that you'd learn to like the woman who'd nearly murdered you," Bookman commented, and Lavi stopped flailing for the picture in a minute of shock.

"You know about that? And you _still _let met get paired up with her?" Lavi screeched incredulously. Bookman scoffed. He folded the picture with one hand, and he tucked it away inside of his robe. It seemed that Lavi could never get his hands on that thing for more than a few minutes at a time before someone took it from him. Lavi sat on the couch and sulked, a bit peeved. Bookman _had _set him up!

"It taught you a valuable lesson, didn't it? Impartiality," Bookman said. "No feelings for anyone, even those we hate...or love." Lavi looked away, suddenly thrashed with guilt. He stood up, and he walked towards the window. He leaned against it, one arm supporting his body from the frame of the window. Bookman stared at Lavi, and the old man stepped to the ground.

"You have told me everything, young Apprentice. And yet something else ails you," Bookman said. Lavi chewed his lip as his usually cheerful demeanor gave way to his troubled inner thoughts. He closed his one eye, and he could see them. His nightmares always seemed to hover just on the edge of waking. All of his fears seemed to circle like wolves along the edges of light. No... they weren't wolves. They were monsters of smoke, things he couldn't just catch and kill. They seemed to seep into his waking life and truly come to life at night. He dreaded sundown. It marked the arrival of the demons he himself had made.

"Apprentice, you are fragile. I take it that you have had a harrowing two months in the Argentine wilderness," Bookman said quietly. Lavi had recounted most everything, from the torture he'd suffered at Lulu's hands to the collapsing memory palace to the synesthesia and waking dreams. He hadn't even left out the problems he'd had with Esperanza and, whether he liked it or not, his attraction to her. He hated that he could no longer control himself, mentally and physically. He felt like he was losing control of everything, and he'd lose everyone he ever cared about if he let it continue. The episode near the docks with the hallucinations had shown him he could potentially kill his friends if he didn't get this under control.

"I don't know what to do, Gramps. I'm losing it. How am I going to fix this?" Lavi asked, his voice cracking as he thought about that poor civilian who'd had the misfortune to get in the way. The city moved underneath him, lights flaring bright from lamps and electrical bulbs. Cars trundled, and the trams still ran. Even with all that was wrong with him, the city didn't care. He was just a dot. If he wasn't careful, the city would swallow him, and his problems along with the rest. He'd be another splash of ink in the city's logbook. Maybe that was best...

"Lavi, the only remedy I can tell you is to continue making progress with your memory manifestation. Once it's in order, these problems should disappear. Sufficient meditation and mental compartmentalization will take care of the rest, but you have to keep it up, Lavi. However...from what you've told me..." Lavi looked back at Bookman. He'd trailed off, thinking hard.

"You struck yourself with lightning, correct?" Lavi nodded with an almost pleased cringe. That was a dumb idea, but he'd been fine afterwards. He'd suffered worse. Bookman sighed, and he gave a sad glance to Lavi, almost guilty even.

"Perhaps... it will not only be meditation that can save your mind. Lightning strikes frequently aggravate states of disorientation, behavioral imbalances, and, most of all, preexisting mental illnesses. Your condition may not be entirely within your mental realm. Your brain itself could have problems as well. I will talk to the pharmacist for some medication. We'll not use it much - you should be fine once we begin on a mental exercise regimen. You've already broken contact with Esperanza?"

"Yeah. We're both busy anyways. We haven't had much time to talk."

"I'll need to thank her. She's done a good job of keeping your condition in check. She's a natural. I noticed that from speaking with her over my golem. She would've made a good Bookman." He scratched his chin in thought.

"This business with your memory manifestation is especially troubling. I am afraid that Lulu Bell pushed you into that state much too early. Most don't even have the ability to access a memory manifestation under normal conditions, much less under torture. You weren't supposed to approach such a mental journey until you were twenty-one, and by our standards that is already very early indeed, though not entirely unheard of," Bookman sighed. Lavi felt a small glow of pride that he kept carefully banked. However, he basked in its glow despite the fact that this pride stemmed from the object of his sanity's demise. The old man scratched the base of his question-mark ponytail, and he began to toddle off to bed.

"If it helps with the nightmares, take a sleeping pill from my medicine bag. They're the blue pills in the side pockets. There's red ones mixed in with them, but don't take those - you won't want to, trust me," Bookman suggested, poking his head out of his bedroom before shutting the door. Minutes later, soft snores emanated from the closed room, and Lavi nostalgically shook his head. Hearing the old man roar in his sleep brought back memories, and it made things seem almost normal.

Lavi sat on the couch, and he dug through Bookman's medicine bag, finding what he'd described exactly as Bookman had said. He popped a blue pill in his mouth, and he stretched out on the couch. Momentarily, he wondered how long it would take the pill to take effect -

-and then it was lights out.

* * *

><p>"If it is in there, why do we not go and fetch it? What is the use of sitting here, waiting?" one of the men whined, leaning back in his chair. Dominguez slapped the younger man up the side of the head, and he said, "<em>Estupido. Es una sede central guardado<em>. You can go in by yourself, if you want."

"What? They're only priests and scientists. Not like they got weapons or anything," he complained, but he seemed a little bit more hesitant to question the older man. Dominguez looked behind him to the small army that Lulu had sent him. They were all Akuma, and every single last one of them freaked him out. They were just... unearthly. A lot of them just stood still through out the day, some of them ventured out and killed a couple of people, here and there one or two might actually play _cards. _Dominguez hadn't even been aware they had the mental capacity to play card games, and that little sign of actual cognizance and intelligence worried him. He'd thought they were merely dumb machines, though he didn't doubt their dangerousness.

"They have what we want, and we can let them have it... for now. Lulu told us to sit tight. We blew cover a few nights ago. They weren't supposed to know we were here," Dominguez breathed, and his eyes tightened. He scratched his thick mustache, thinking on the events that had transpired between him and the redheaded man on whom Lulu seemed to be so intent. She'd said that they needed him, and they needed him alive, but the girl was proving troublesome. Dominguez knew that she spoke of Esperanza, who amazingly was once his old housekeeper by some twist of coincidence, and he felt pained to know that she would have to die. He had no wish to see that headstrong, forthright girl come to a painful end.

"Besides, I have a special ending for her. One, I think, that will give you great joy to watch. I invited a certain someone here, just to set the record straight, because she does, after all, believe you to be no longer of this world," Lulu had stated, inspecting her immaculate French tips. The mention of the drug lord's daughter had sent a pang through him as he realized he knew what deal Lulu had struck with her. His daughter, as fragile as she was, happened to be akin to a snake - quick, cunning, quiet, and, best of all, _forgettable_ in face, if not in action. He'd taught her from a young age, and, realizing this folly, attempted to steer her on a more conventional path and convince her out of the life she was headed towards, a life he himself had lived and found wanting. Still, once started down that hill, it was impossible to get the ball to stop rolling, and so his greatest tool and best love was now a plaything for a higher, less gracious power.

"Man, I am _so bored, _though. Ain't nothin' to do here. Can't even get in to the red light district and see some of the girls. We're always on watch to see if the two idiots leave," the young man grumbled furthermore, but Dominguez ignored him. The young man had not yet learned discretion, and he would pay for it one day. Then again, that was the only way young fools learn. They had to burn the hand they used to touch the fire in order to understand that it was hot. Dominguez shook his head. He watched as a cat sat quietly outside of the cafe, mewing plaintively and staring straight at him. He narrowed his eyes and stolidly ignored the cat, knowing full well who it was.

He knew that he could no longer go back, and she was his daily reminder. He was a dead man, and he had to see this out until it was finished. Though his daughter believed him to be dead, that did not mean there was not hope that perhaps he could still save her, if he could bind that wretched creature to an oath of some kind.

How far had he fallen that he would pin his hope to a thing such as Lulu Bell the Noah? How desperate was he to bend before a creature spoken of in his _nana's _worst bedtime stories? He knew his profit was ill-gotten and his profession was distasteful before God, so perhaps this was his punishment.

_So be it, _he thought to himself as he cautioned a glance at the cat preening herself in the doorway. _It will all be over tomorrow. And then she will be free. If I have my way._

The cat stared, tail flicking back and forth. Dominguez's looked soured.

_When I have my way._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So, I have a total of one new favoriteer named Miss Tiggy, in whom I am pleased. However, I have noticed a lack of reviews for the last chapter, and that gave me a wake up call.

_What did I do wrong this time?_ That is the overarching question for the entire discussion, though there will be other discussion questions branching out from other topics. I really need feedback on this - I was shocked that no one said anything for last chapter (_or _subscribed - even without reviews, subscription and favoriting tell me people enjoy the story to an extent), so I'm assuming it was so lackluster no one decided to comment on it at all. For this, I apologize - I realize I was not at my best when writing that chapter, and it probably threw some of you guys for a loop, leaving a bunch of: '...what did she just hand us? Is this something she expects us to read?' 'The detail really isn't there.' 'This is really boring.'

I would greatly appreciate your reprimands. That sounds odd, but I really would. Long, short, detailed, general - I don't honestly care as long as they're somewhat definitive. I really need to know what I did wrong so that I don't do it again. If you want, rant for an entire page; take up practically the entire review box if you want. I just need to know what I need to do better on and what you want to see more of (which is basically all reviews are - it's kind of their point).

Now that I've had my rant, I'd like to thank you guys for sticking through the story, even through the dull parts that don't make sense and you'd much rather get to the fighting and usual craziness. I apologize for my slackish writing.

So, other discussion questions: _Are you enjoying the characters? Is Bookman's introduction in character and acceptable? Are Lavi's mind-freak-outs too unsettling or not unsettling enough? What was your favorite part of the story as a whole (including all 20 chapters)? What was your least favorite part of the story? What do you think is the greatest character flaw for Lavi, Esperanza, Darrin, Bookman, Dominguez, etc.? Are the villains believable? Does the plot make any sense? Do you have any suggestions for future story ideas dealing with the South American continent as a whole?_

Now, understand you do not have to answer all of these. This list of questions is just to get you started on a review, and you can pick and choose what you want to answer and what you don't. You don't even have to pick one of these questions! Make up your own, or go off on your own little spiel about something that either peeves you or delights you concerning Chasing After The Wind.

So, I'm finished, and all I have to say now is, God bless and good reading to you all. May you pour over literate fics and receive the hope that authors with actual grasps of plot exist.


	21. Uno Blanca Cinta

A loud crack of thunder woke him in the night, and Lavi sat up, surprised. His feet tangled in a thin blanket, and he fell over in his haste to get up. He groaned for a moment, finally managing to figure out what was feet and what was blanket. He stood up, trying to remember _why _he was sleeping on the couch -

That's right. Bookman had given him pills to help him sleep. Well, technically the old panda'd told him to rummage through his medicine pouch for it, but it was the same thing. That meant that Lavi had actually _slept through the night. _Well, almost. The storm had woken him up. Nevertheless, the fact that Lavi's slumber had been completely dreamless was a feat, and the redhead regarded Bookman's medicine bag with renewed awe. He whistled low, thinking about how much punch that sleeping pill must've had. He had to remember to take those more often...

Though he could honestly say he didn't remember getting the blanket. That was new. He started to fold it and put it back as another flash of lightning brush-stroked the sky in swathes of varying shades of white. Ribbons of water trailed down the window, and as the Apprentice Bookman put the blanket back on the couch, he realized that _someone _must have put the blanket over him in the middle of the night. Surely it hadn't been Bookman? After all, he slept like the dead. The man could sleep in the middle of a battlefield with mortars bursting around him. He wasn't one to suddenly get up in the night out of nowhere. Of course, being the old man that he is, he took frequent bathroom breaks, and if there was anything that could get Panda out of bed, it was a full bladder...

Lavi heard a noise down the hall outside of the door, and his curiosity spiked. He pursed his lips in debate. Should he go and investigate? After all, he was already up and at 'em, so why not? There wasn't anything to do. There was mischief to be had late at night, besides. With no one awake, there weren't witnesses to any of the pranks that Lavi could pull, his favorite target being the eggheads. As much as he loved those guys, they squealed the loudest when it came to being pelted with eggs or having to dance on harmless cherry-bombs. He liked to set up elaborate traps that could take on a couple dozen victi- ...participants at once.

Already distracted by this new train of thought, Lavi headed out his door into the halls of the Order. Where oh where to start? What to do? A massive egg gun like last time? Nah, that'd take too much effort for one night. How about a funnel over the main door? Hm, that could work, but it'd be awfully difficult to string it up by himself. What about slicking the entire atrium floor with bacon grease? That sounded a little bit more plausible.

In his distraction, Lavi failed to notice that someone was huddled in an archway not five feet away as he walked down the hallway that was suspended over the main atrium of the headquarters. A burst of thunder revealed the offender with a soft, breathless whimper, and Lavi stopped, recognizing the noise. His mischievous, light-hearted thoughts were shot through with confusion and melancholy. She'd been hiding, possibly due to the fact she'd been caught here late, and with the storm about she dared no venture into the night. It was no doubt her that had entered his room and placed the blanket. Even now, she checked on him, as she had previously, even in the midst of guilt or anger or rejection. In the back of his mind, Lavi had been afraid that perhaps she was bitter towards him. Now he knew otherwise, and the knowledge that she still considered herself friend and caretaker hurt more than if she had cast him off completely in disgust.

Their parting had been less than cordial. In fact, if anything it had been strained and stiff, a rehearsal of pleasantries as they said goodbyes they hadn't meant yet seemed to have no choice but to speak. It was a slap in the face to her service to him, because he tossed her aside as if she were no more than chaff. In the hallways he pretended not to know her. In the kitchen and cafeteria, she would look into his eyes, and he'd stare right through. A clean break was the best break, but it felt wrong to even deny her help. He'd done that once, too, withheld help when he could've given it, should he have chosen to. That pained look haunted him when he was left with an idle mind, and so he filled his head with riddles, problems, and enigmas. She was a living ghost, and it was painful for them both. Seeing her in the experimentation vault below ground had been an anomaly, and if asked about his reasons for trailing the group Lavi would've said that it was more a matter of curiosity than of concern.

Should Lavi keep on going as if he hadn't heard her? Should he ignore her? After all, he'd told Bookman he had no ties to her any longer. Their partnership was void, and from the rumors he'd heard lately, the CROW were coming to take her to England for further experimentation and study. Just as in Sao Paolo, England was a land of drizzle, and she would be miserable there. If he wanted, he could pull strings, ask favors, change things, and have documents 'misplaced' in exactly the right places. Yet, he stayed mum. He couldn't interfere. He had no part in this. He had to keep that impartiality that he'd finally built back up.

However, in all of this hubbub in his head, he continued to walk. He'd gone nary three steps when a massive crack of thunder broke so loud over the building that the floor shook. Too proud to ask for help, yet too afraid to leave, he heard Esperanza let out a short shout of surprise and fear before cutting herself off with a quick slap of the hand over her mouth. Lavi stopped, faltering. His heart was rent in two, torn between the compassion blooming within his newly hardened heart and the callouses that were finally forming. Yet at that moment, hearing her scream, he was brought back to the night where she was terrified in a tent on a mountain, shielded by a thin layer of oilskin from a terrifying tempest of his own making. This in turn brought a bout of empathy as he remembered the horror he'd been faced with on his trip to Sao Paolo realizing that his mind was unraveling and Esperanza's subsequent help managing his synesthesia and nightmares.

Finally unable to bear it, Lavi sighed to himself. He turned tail, walking past the woman as fast as he could manage without appearing rushed, and he stopped at one of the large banners the hall sported between tall, glass windows. The halls of the headquarters were most usually lit with gas lights and torches, seeing as it would take a massive amount of money and effort to put in electric lights, and that meant the banners were made of a leaded cloth that was fireproof and, more importantly, soundproof. Lavi walked up to one, a massive thing nearly twenty feet long embroidered with a very pre-Columbian design in silver, and he began to tugging it off its pewter hanger. After about three swift yanks, the entire thing fell in what seemed like slow motion, and Lavi's eye widened as he realized that he was going to be swamped in cloth. A massive avalanche overtook him, and he barely managed to keep his footing.

Looking like a walking mountain of cloth, Lavi managed to find his way to Esperanza. He dumped the cloth at his feet, finding Esperanza looking down in confusion through tear-stricken strands of brown-black hair. He lifted up the end of the banner, and he wrapped the eighteen-year-old Argentine swiftly in massive layers. Soon, she was practically cocooned in a tent of thick cloth, once more ensconced in a make-shift fort. Esperanza looked up, absolutely perplexed and confused, and for a moment Lavi saw a pair of bright blue eyes peer out from the dark interior of the pile. In that instant, he saw a distilled sort of awe and relief, almost joy, and Lavi felt guilty for incurring it so rapidly only to have to put it out later.

So, without a word, he left for the kitchens. He had a floor to grease.

* * *

><p>"How long do I have to stand here with these on my head?" Lavi asked, straining to keep his balance. He was standing on one foot on a chair with a stack of textbooks sitting on his cranium. They tottered dangerously to and fro as Lavi kept trying to recover his center of balance. So far, he'd tried to complete Bookman's exercise five different times, and on each of those five tries, either the books fell off his head or he fell off the chair.<p>

"Apprentice, should you be speaking?" Bookman asked. Pouting, Lavi looked away.

"No."

"Then you should stop speaking." Bookman went back to writing in his notepad. Darrin was attempting to keep his mirth in check, but it seemed that he was struggling. The two were sitting in armchairs only five feet away from Lavi with a table in between the both of them. On top of the table the bronze cylinder puzzle lay underneath lamp light. Bookman studied it prodigiously, holding a small lens between clawed fingers. He squinted at the writing stuck between the dials that circled the cylinder, and he grumbled something under his breath.

"Curious," Bookman muttered. He had had yet to examine the artifact himself, and he had previously been listening to Darrin's exchange whilst Lavi attempted to keep his balance, both mentally and bodily.

"What's curious?" Darrin asked, leaning forwards to look at the cylinder. Lavi had no doubt that Darrin was familiar with the object, but the old man hadn't actually _looked _at it, not the way that Bookman or Lavi had. The elderly chronicler turned the cylinder under the light, and Lavi watched as Bookman ran one gnarled, clawed finger over the strange markings that circled the locked object. The old man's lips were moving as he peered through the lens, and Lavi knew immediately that Bookman knew the strange language. However, Lavi would have to wait patiently before Bookman would divulge what he knew. Of course, the redhead was used to that sort of treatment. It always seemed that Bookman was either telling him to wait and slow down or hurry and speed up.

"This is an old, old, _old _language. Lavi and I speak a form of it, though it's been changed quite a bit from the original dialect, which was spoken about four thousand years ago. It's a Bookman clan alphabet, one that I'm not familiar with but can recognize," Bookman said about ten minutes later, and Lavi's eye widened. He'd thought the letters looked oddly familiar. Unbeknownst to most, the Bookmen did have their own language complete with an alphabet that could be written down, though only under dire circumstances would the foreign tongue be put to paper. It's obscurity was one of their best kept secrets, and they wanted to keep it that way. Some information was not meant to be divulged to the rest of the world.

"Ken ya read it?" Darrin asked gruffly. Lavi winced as his arms began to burn. He'd only been holding them out for the past five minutes, and they already hurt. He was getting flabby. Nevertheless, he was more captivated with the conversation going on beside him than the fiery sensation in his muscles.

"Of course I can, though it will take time. It appears to be a set of riddles, each one pertaining to the number on the dial above it. I can have it done in as little as a week," Bookman stated, and Lavi whistled. This had to be a very old alphabet - it usually took Bookman all of an hour to untangle most dead languages, even in obscure dialects, into English. Bookman raised a nonexistent eyebrow at his apprentice, and Lavi smiled cheekily.

Suddenly, the door to the library opened, and someone walked in. Their heels went _clip-clip-clip _down the parquet style floor, and Lavi resisted the urge to look behind him. His curiosity burned like a live coal in his brain as he tried to keep from turning his neck and upsetting the books on his head. Someone came to stand right next to Lavi, and he realized that whoever it was happened to be standing on the side of his covered eye.

_Aw, not fair._

Suddenly, Lavi felt a pinch on his upper thigh, and he yelped. Despite the painful attack on his skin, Lavi managed to remain on one leg, still supporting the stack of texts on his head. He wobbled, though, and Bookman watched in what seemed to be amusement.

Esperanza came to sit down at the table, and Lavi tried not to fall over as he realized that her entire side was slicked with bacon grease. She must've slipped on the massive sheet of the stuff in the atrium. Lavi had watched with glee as several scientists took tumble after tumble before Bookman finally dragged him into his chosen method of torture. Her face, as per usual, was passive, though underneath he could see the ire underneath the calm. Bookman gave her a small smile, and he asked, "Yes?"

"I have a missive for you and... Lavi," she said, reluctantly looking over at the apprentice ridiculously attempting to maintain an upright stance. He looked away as he noticed the question in her eyes. She remembered last night. Crap. Lavi felt sweat break out in the small of his back. He shouldn't have done that, but his stupid, fool, ugly, feeling, little heart decided to get tangled around his ankles and trip him up. Lavi stolidly looked away, pretending to be very interested in a copy of _Geometria y La Complicacion de Los Cielos. _Hair fell in his face from underneath his bandanna, and Lavi tried to blow it away, but it only succeeded in tickling his nose.

"Ah, thank you, Esperanza," Bookman stated, perfectly congenial. Though things were quite awkward for both Lavi and Esperanza, given the circumstances, Bookman and Esperanza had gotten along very well. They were both of similar temperament, especially now that Esperanza was finally in control of her emotions once more. Lavi had watched someone spit on her boots in the cafeteria -

He winced at the memory. She'd been spit in the face, too, come to think of it. And in the hair. And clothes. From what he knew, she had a good following of supporters, too, though they were definitely the minority in this case, considering it was a European organization they happened to be running under... All in all, she hadn't gotten into any more fights, so that was good. She hadn't smoked, hadn't drank, hadn't slammed anyone's face into a table. She was back to her old self, though it seemed that the weather still had her under a tiff.

Just because he couldn't interact didn't mean he couldn't keep tabs. It wasn't spying - it was _concerned surveillance_. That was his argument, and he was sticking to it.

Suddenly, Lavi felt the urge to sneeze. He wiggled his nose in an attempt to subvert it.

"Ah, it's another mission. A phenomenon has been located in Guatemala. Disappearances have spiked in the rain forests due to some sort of amphithere, and they want the three of us to go and investigate it," Bookman said. Esperanza visibly brightened at the mention that the _three _of them were leaving. Darrin grumbled his discontent with being left with the eggheads, scratching his ever-present layer of stubble. Esperanza rolled her eyes as she patted his shoulder with rough affection.

The sneeze was lodging itself firmly in the tip of his nose. He could feel it waiting there. Lavi shot a breath through his nose, but that did nothing to deter the tickling sensation.

"We'll leave in the next four days. Oh, and Esperanza - Alfonso wants to know exactly when you'll be leaving for England. I've heard you have yet to give a straight answer," Bookman stated, his kohl-lined eyes glittering with anticipation at this development. He knew Esperanza was quite strong-willed, and a missive to England was the last thing on her mind while the game was afoot. Though her outward expression didn't change, there was a subtle shift in her stance and demeanor that gave off vibes of disdain.

"I will get back to him on that," Esperanza stated, her voice level.

Finally, unable to hold it in any longer, Lavi let out a raucous sneeze, falling over backwards chair, books, and all. The three, who'd forgotten that Lavi was even present, turned back around to stare incredulously at the haphazard redhead buried amid a good sized pile of books. The shelf behind him suddenly unloaded quite a few more tomes on the already large pile, and Lavi groaned as he was interred by pages of script.

Darrin guffawed, and Esperanza tried to keep a straight face, though she herself didn't look exactly put together either with her hair slicked to her head by grease. Lavi sat up with a wince, catching a mirthful glint in Bookman's eye. Lavi extracted himself from the pile of books, patting himself down to make sure everything was in its correct place. He didn't feel anything broken, though quite a few spots on him were sore, and Esperanza walked over to him. He flinched as she raised a hand, sure she was probably going to give him a light smack for his prank, but instead she straightened his headband. He rubbed his head awkwardly, not sure what to do.

Luckily, he didn't _have _to do anything. A Finder ran down the hallway, slipped and slid past the four, and then scrambled to turn right back around. The Finder ran up to Lavi, but he halted suddenly upon catching sight of Esperanza. The Finder was wearing a cloth mask around his mouth, a normal sight in the usually congested city. Most people, especially newbies, were immediately stopped by the fearsome visage Esperanza wore with her triple-scar and hard-set eyes, but there was something else in this Finder's face than just surprise and deer-in-the-headlights confusion. Too late, Lavi realized this was the Finder Esperanza had beaten the ever loving crap out of just as he took off his mask. The mustachio'd man worked his jaw before saying in precise English, "There is a package for you, Mr. Lavi. I have been instructed to direct you to the post room."

Lavi contemplated this, looking at Esperanza briefly. Her face showed no emotion whatsoever, and Lavi cursed internally. She'd gotten much, _much_ better about concealing emotions from him. She must have tailored that look specifically to hide her thoughts from his ever-observant eye. He'd underestimated her yet again. Good - he always liked a challenge.

"Sure," Lavi said, cocking his head to the side and giving a small smile to put the man at ease. He was obviously high-strung and cocky considering his company, and it would do little good to have him riled up again to lob another winning throw at Esperanza's pride. In a silence as dense as Irish fog the two of them left the library at a brisk pace, feet slapping against the parquet floor of the library. When they were out of the confines of the tome forest Lavi visibly witnessed the man relax.

Now that Lavi could finally get a good look at him, this Finder was hardly older than Esperanza herself. Lavi had originally pegged him as four or five years older, but now that he could study the man, he realized that the Finder wasn't much more than a year or two older than Lavi himself. He was stocky, though, well muscled by hours of labor no doubt at some menial job as a teenager before he'd taken up the mantle of a Finder. His face was decidedly European, and his skin was a very, very light tan. His eyes were the color of slate, and his hair was a very dark brown. His mustache was thin, and he had an accompanying strip of hair running from under his lower lip down to the end of his chin. All in all, he looked much better than he had the last time Lavi'd seen him, in the Infirmary as he was with a broken nose and a black eye. He had a scar where a gash had been, also from Esperanza's less-than-gentle handling.

"You look... uh, healthier," Lavi said, suddenly running out of words. The halls were empty, and the masonry wafted the cold. The storm from last night had died down to a mere drizzle, though the occasional flash of lightning did light the interior of the headquarters from tall, glass windows. The Finder shrugged.

"I heal fast," the Finder said, and Lavi suddenly asked, "What's your name, anyways?" The Finder looked surprised, and for a moment skepticism crept onto his features. However, the young man dismissed this and stated, " ' Name's Teo. Yours?"

"Lavi," the redhead answered in turn, giving the usual one-word, guyish response.

"You hang out with the murderer," the Finder said, his words flat, and his tone telling. Despite the lack of inflection, Lavi could tell that the word 'murderer' was meant to hold a taint of disdain and hate. "Pity. You seem like a nice guy. Must be fun having her as a partner." Lavi suppressed a pang of offense. He had to remain impartial. What did he care if this guy thought Esperanza was a murderer? It wasn't like she _wasn't _a murderer. She just wasn't active any more, thank whatever higher power existed.

"Yeah. She's alright once you get to know her. What's your beef?" Lavi asked. They passed a group of scientists, all wearing labcoats and arguing over flux capacitators. Lavi watched them walk past in order to avert his gaze from Teo. The older boy would feel more secure if he didn't look directly at him. Humans, like dogs, didn't like to be looked in the face when they were uncomfortable or felt threatened. It was too much of a challenge. Teo chewed his lip in thought, and Lavi wondered if he'd stepped too far too fast.

The Finder said, "My little sister, Gracia, went to a little white school in town. Pretty little twelve-year-old girl, y'know? One day, I came to pick her up... except the school wasn't there anymore. _Poof -_ all of it, a crater. We found her body five days later, or what was left of it. My mother committed suicide three days after her funeral." The man's voice cracked towards the end, and Lavi frowned. The Wildcats had been notorious for targeting schools with heavy white populations as well as hotels and ritzy cafes that catered to the lighter-skinned populace. They hadn't just been against whites either - anyone of European descent was in danger. They'd been a nationalistic group of bomb-toters, and their prey fought back with their own bombs. It'd been a war in all senses of the word.

"Was Esperanza one of the people who bombed the school?" Lavi asked quietly. The Finder scoffed, and Lavi threw him a quick, hesitant glance. Teo looked a little bit conflicted for all of a moment before saying almost inaudibly, "It doesn't matter if she'd bombed that school herself or not. She might've bombed some other school, or maybe she wasn't even a part of the bombings and just helped the extremists. Either way, someway somehow, she's the reason why my sister and mother are dead, even if she wasn't the one planting the bomb. That's something they would never understand." Lavi couldn't argue with that logic, and so they continued to walk towards the post room in silence.

Teo gave a limp smile to Lavi as he saluted the Exorcist, leaving for other parts of the Order. From down the hall, Lavi could hear screams as people continued to slip on the bacon grease he'd put in the atrium, and he smiled to himself ever so slightly. The post man looked up in expectation, and Lavi signed his name. The young post man handed Lavi a small box, and the redhead frowned. There happened to be no return address, and it was fairly small. The box lacked a sender's name, and that immediately sent off warning bells. Lavi, however, hid his unease, and he waved to the post man. The Portuguese post man smiled and waved back.

In the hall, Lavi hid himself in an alcove away from people. He held his ear to the box, and he was relieved to hear no ticking noises. However, that didn't mean there wasn't some sort of internal construction that could go off the minute Lavi opened the box. He hated the fact he didn't know where the thing had come from. Suddenly, Lavi came up with a bright idea - ask a bomb expert. And he knew exactly where to find one.

Lavi raced back to the library. Esperanza, Bookman, and Darrin were still amid the forest of shelves. The ex-terrorist was reading a book on mythology, while Darrin snoozed and Bookman worked. The latter looked up as Lavi came near, and Esperanza lifted her eyes ever so slightly from her tome. Lavi held up a white box, and Bookman frowned.

"You haven't opened it yet," Bookman noted, gesturing to the package. The redhead sighed as Esperanza watched him with careful, blue eyes. Lavi said, "It has no sender's address or sender, and it's a rather small package. I don't know what's in it, and it worries me. So... I wanted to know what she thought." Lavi looked over at Esperanza, and her facial expression remained flat. Lavi suddenly worried that he might've offended her, but she stood up with a creak, and she took the box out of his hands. Their fingertips brushed, and her eyes betrayed her for a moment as she looked up at him. She wasn't as restrained as she thought. Lavi hid a smirk, looking away.

She turned the box over in her hands, feeling the weight and heft, sliding her fingers along the edges of the box. She pursed her lips, brow furrowing ever so slightly as she tried to determine whether the box was a bomb or not. Finally, she sniffed the box, searching along the edges. The Argentine handed the box back, and she shook her head.

"It's not heavy enough to contain a big enough charge to be dangerous. There don't seem to be traces of any gunpowder or nitro on the box. It's too light to have a mechanism, and it doesn't shake. I say it's safe," Esperanza said. Immediately, Lavi took the box back. He put his fingers around the edge of the box where the top met the rest of the box, and he flicked his eyes between Bookman and Esperanza. Darrin stayed oblivious in his chair, snoring. Lavi tore off the top of the box, trusting the Argentine's judgement, and inside lay something small and white on a bed of black velvet.

It was a clean, white ribbon.

_The smell of shattered glass, crystal in the air, blood in his nose and oil slick on the ground, a spear tip shoved in his face, a friend's eyes in mind, kind eyes that could heal with a glance and decipher the heart, eyes turned to stone under death and imprisonment, the feeling of metal giving way underneath his hammer, screams reverberating in his ears, screams that weren't Doug's, screams that were his and his alone, tear tracks down his face as -_

Lavi's eyes widened as his breath caught in his chest, hundreds of feelings, sensations, and thoughts flooding his mind as he attempted to stop the mental hurricane. Bookman frowned as Lavi stood there, breathless, with the box in his hands. Finally, Lavi looked up with a plastic smile.

"How nice. A ribbon," Lavi said, picking it up with two fingers. The culmination of his first failure, his _very _first failure, was sitting between his fingers. It might not be _the _ribbon, but the meaning was clear. There was only one group of people who knew about this, and Lavi suddenly felt an immense rage fill him. Bookman, accustomed to seeing past Lavi's firm mask of cheerfulness, had his lips set tight as Lavi put the ribbon back in the box. A small note lay underneath the ribbon, and Lavi removed that as well. Esperanza, clearly dumbfounded, watched as Lavi read the note, his lips moving with the words.

_Like the gift? There's more to come._

Lavi's smile seemed to crack, but it held together. He put the note back, and he stuck the box in his pocket. The two watched him tensely, but Lavi ignored them. He nodded to the two of them, walking back out of the library with heavy thoughts. All that time, there was a vacantly calm look about his face, an impenetrable mask of frivolity as nebulous as mist.

The door slammed as Lavi walked out, and Darrin woke up with a start.

"Wha'd I miss?" he grumbled blearily, Esperanza and Bookman looking to each other.

"_Que estaba este?_" Esperanza mumbled in Spanish, and Bookman answered in kind, "_Estuve amigos con un Buscarero se llamo Doug. Ya murio casi un ano. Doug compro una cinta por una nina se llamo Collette en Francia. Estuve blanca, y Lavi nunca se olvidio. Doug... Doug y Collette cambiaron en Akuma. Lavi se mataron." _Esperanza's eyes widened slightly. However, she kept her tongue in check as she digested this information, going back to her mythology text.

"Why ya gotta speak in Spanish? Ain't we in Brazil? Shouldn't ya be speakin' Portuguese 'r English? Come on, now, give the dog a bone!" Darrin pleaded, feeling out of the loop. He scratched his stubble with a frown, and Bookman tried hard to ignore the pang he felt. He shook his head, and he went back to his work.

* * *

><p><em>"Hello?"<em> the Portuguese guard asked. The woman smiled, batting long eyelashes, and the guard flushed. She'd walked in with a package, and now she seemed to be walking back out. She'd come through the back door, an odd place to start off from, but he couldn't really complain. After all, it wasn't every day that he got to meet a pretty girl.

She had waist-length black, glossy hair with a pair of brown eyes. Her face was heart-shaped and doll-like, her lips full yet tiny like a flower. Her cheekbones were high, and her features were slightly off-kilter, though not enough to make her ugly. She wore a hat to keep off the damp, as well as a thick dress made of expensive brocade. The guard doffed his hat, holding it to his chest. The girl smiled, and he attained a deep burning in his face. He was just a humble guard outside of a backdoor here to check in and check out people as things moved in and out of the headquarters. It was a lonely post in an alleyway where trucks usually pulled up to deliver large deliveries.

_"Your name?" _he asked, and the girl giggled. She put a gloved hand to her mouth, like a coquettish schoolgirl flirting with a boy in the street. Feeling slightly put out by her behavior, the man awkwardly smiled. She shook her head, hair swaying to and fro from her waist. Her visage was pale, almost sheet-white, and he was entranced for a moment by her youthful appearance. Large earrings glinted in the light at her ears, bright disks with a small black, onyx stone set in the middle.

"Don't you know? It's Ofelia Dominguez, silly. You don't remember me?" she asked with a tittering laugh. The man's smile fell slightly as he felt something wet spill down his pants. Too late, he realized that while he'd been distracted by her flirting glance, she'd stabbed him in the femoral artery. A gush of blood shot out, and he was about to scream. A knife flashed briefly with a bright, silver dart. His neck opened like a mouth, the lips of the gash spilling blood of its own. The guard fell down, bleeding out and unable to scream.

"Oops. Did I do that?" she asked, almost surprised. She smiled at him, coquettish once again, and she stepped over his frame. She pressed a button on her earring, and it crackled with noise.

"I believe a door's been accidentally left open. It's an open invitation, if you ask me," the young woman said, sighing as she put the dirtied knife in its hiding place up her sleeve in its special sheath. That had been all too easy. Men were _so _easily distracted. It was almost no fun.

Almost.

_"The package has been delivered, yes?"_ a voice asked, and Ofelia chuckled deep in her throat. A strand of straight, black hair drifted in her face, and she brushed it away as she walked past a group of Finders walking towards the kitchens. She knew the entire layout of the building, from the lowest cellar to the highest rooftop. She was entirely confident in her directional capabilities. This would be a breeze.

"Yes, yes, your precious little gift has been received. If anything, it looked like he thought it was something... dangerous. Perhaps you should've put a sender's address," Ofelia suggested. The voice on the other end chuckled in response, sounding disturbingly like Ofelia's own laugh.

_"No, no. This is perfect. Everything is going according to plan." _Ofelia frowned. She shrugged to herself. If that was what _she _wanted... She smiled to herself.

Finally, she was going to have the chance to take back what was hers. She would find the person who'd killed her father and bring him to justice. She would -

_"Ofelia?"_

"Yes?"

"_Remember what I told you. Leave him be. Take the one with the scars, not the redhead." _A bitterness spread within her. Nevertheless, she sweetly answered, "Your wish, my command." She passed the post, stood at the edges of the atrium, and watched people slip and slide on the floor of bacon grease that still hadn't been cleaned.

She smiled as she heard screams from behind. The fun was finally about to begin.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Why hello there, everyone! I finally put out a new chapter! I understand, this doesn't have the normal amount of insanity, but hopefully the sore attempt at humor makes up for it. For those who don't understand the white ribbon, download the Reverse Novel about Lavi, or better yet just go the wiki page for DGM and you can find a synopsis there. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter so far.

As for reviewers, I'm happy to say that I've seen some new and old faces: big thanks to PrevalentMasters for that fabulous story, Miss Tigger for her input, and Feline Exorcist for posting at all. You guys make this story better, just a little bit at a time.

I also have a new band of favoriteers: Miss Tigger, Ciaou, and Bluring. Together, you will be... the three favoriteers! ... Obviously, I've spent too much time on the computer.

Miss Tigger is also a newcomer to the amazing subscribe list, for which I am happy.

Now, discussion questions: _What are the Noah planning? How badly has Lavi been affected by the appearance of the white ribbon? Does anyone even like reading the Author's Notes? What are good suggestions that can be made in regard to Lavi's mental fragility? Is the plot still moving too slow? Would you want to stick around for the next chapter? Do you like the tension between Lavi and Esperanza? Do you think it's plausible? Are you enjoying this story? Are descriptions too detailed or too general?_

__Again, I bid all of you adieu. God bless and good reading!

I have new


	22. La Invasion

Lavi wandered the halls, pacing back and forth as he tried to clear his mind. Where had all this turmoil come from? It seemed that as soon as his thoughts were under his control, they slipped right back out again. It was like trying to catch water in his hands, grabbing only the very smallest of vestiges before the rest flowed straight through his fingertips. Abruptly, he took stock of his surroundings, realizing that he'd wandered off on his own. He was near the switchboard room. Running fingers through his hair, he shakily removed the ribbon from his pocket. It was a satin ribbon, finely woven into a single, coherent strand of white.

Doug... Poor, naive, kind, discerning Doug, that idiot Finder. The ribbon in his hand suddenly crumpled into a wrinkled mess as his hand closed around it tightly. Doug was probably the first mistake he'd made. Scratch that - the _Order _was the first mistake he'd made. He should've just asked Bookman if it was time to leave. It was clear to the both of them that they were getting too close. Bookman had even told Lavi once that he'd worked the Noah side of the battle as well as the Order's. One day, he might find himself on the flip side of the coin, and the gun will be aimed at the people he thinks he cares the most for. That knowledge was like a spoon digging inside of his heart, slow to penetrate but powerfully strong and painful once it managed to break through.

He had to keep a stiff upper lip, though. Above all, he had to keep composure. This wasn't going to affect him. He wasn't going to let it. Suddenly full of determination to keep his head, Lavi stuffed the ribbon in his pocket. It was evidence - he had no real attachment.

He liked to think that, anyways.

And, in a rush, he realized that there were people running past him at a bizarre rate. All of them looked worried, some of them even angry, but they were all headed in the same direction - towards the atrium. Lavi watched as most of the Finders, almost all male, trotted at a quick pace for the atrium of the headquarters. He contemplated grabbing one of them -

"Lavi... Lavi!" The young man turned around, surprised to hear Teo's voice again so soon. He was sure the man would've gone to other regions of the Order, perhaps go on an errand.

"There's a call for you. On the phones," Teo said, pointing back. Lavi tensed imperceptibly, all the muscles in his lower back, stomach, and shoulders contracting towards bone as adrenaline suddenly coursed through his veins. So soon? Were they meaning to taunt him so readily? If they had, they were in for a surprise. The redhead strode purposefully towards Teo, keeping a calm smile as the older Finder looked at him with a strange expression.

"Is everything alright_, _friend? You look... different," Teo said, and Lavi realized that he was still tense and jumpy. Forcing himself to relax, he shrugged and said, "That box was just a bit of a downer. A friend sent me something, but I didn't really like it. Honestly, I'm kind of disappointed." He chuckled, a low sound in his chest that seemed to emphasis just how hollow he was beginning to feel. Teo didn't look _too_ convinced, but he was convinced just enough to let it slip by without further comment. The bruise-eyed Finder pointed to a phone in the communications room that had its receiver hanging down.

As Lavi approached, he steeled himself. He had to make sure he kept an even tone. He couldn't allow any more stray emotions flare out of him like he had before. After all, the Noah could just as soon become friends as enemies. This was a war ; there were two sides to every conflict. That was the first thing he'd learned, practically. He had to keep that in mind.

Still, he was worried by the fact that he couldn't seem to trust his own senses now, and for all he knew he could be talking to absolutely nobody and he'd never be able to tell. Hallucinations, especially auditory ones, were so easily fabricated by the human mind, and by the mind of an analyst and chronicler like himself, Lavi was subject to such more so than the rest. Reluctantly, Lavi picked up the phone. Teo himself had said there was a call, and he doubted that he'd made that up. Teo was a real person, and the phone room wouldn't just have an empty phone. The people around him were acting normal, and that was a good sign - unless those people weren't real and the receiver had always been hung up, just taken off by Lavi himself as a part of the -

He was psyching himself out. He needed to quit that. Soon, he'd be afraid to do _anything. _

"Hello?" he asked, his tone neutral.

"Idiot, you kept me waiting. Don't you know I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere? Stupid connection could go out any time," a very familiar, sour voice said over the phone, and Lavi practically slumped against the table with relief. He'd been expecting... well, definitely not Kanda. He'd prepared himself for a Noah or some other psycho, but Kanda was a much better choice - wait, did he just think that he'd pick talking to Kanda over talking to a psycho? Forgetting this tidbit, Lavi stuttered, "W-w-what are you calling for? You're not one to make social calls, after all." Boy if that wasn't the truth.

"Tch. Typical. Look, I need a favor." Lavi's eyebrows raised. Kanda sounded... different. Strained, almost as if he were _worried _about something. Ha! What a laugh - Kanda worried over something. If he had a problem, he tended to use Mugen to fix it, even if it was opening a jar of mayonnaise. Outside the phone room, Lavi noticed a changing dynamic in the air. He could hear the sounds of... were those gunshots?

Suddenly, a bullet went straight through the plate glass window separating most of the phone room from the hallway, and it shattered.

"What was that?" Kanda's tone was flat as a dead heart monitor.

"Nothing! Nothing, just, uh, just tell me what you wanted," Lavi said, hoping to make this quick. It'd been so long since he'd heard from Kanda at all! In fact, this was a relief - even though everything was topsy-turvy, Kanda was still the same, belligerent, grumpy man he usually was. Some things just didn't change. Like getting shot at - that didn't _ever _seem to change.

That could've just been a stray bullet, right? _Right? _

People began to mill around in confusion and panic, most of the switchboard operators hiding underneath desks or going outside with talismans. The bullet hadn't hit anybody, but one of the switchboards were destroyed. It sparked as an electric current to nowhere lanced through the wiring.

"I need some information on a mark, sort of like a seal. If you could dig around in the CROW's business, that'd be nice, too," Kanda said, sounding slightly pained as he talked. Lavi frowned slightly as he ducked near the floor. Another bullet broke another window, and the sounds of fighting were getting louder.

"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever you want," Lavi said in a distracted tone, and there was a tone of surprise to Kanda's silence, if ever that was possible.

"I thought I'd have to beat it out of you through the phone," Kanda said, and Lavi rolled his good eye.

"Look, can you hurry this up? I'm a little busy at the moment." A knife flew through the window this time, and it lodged itself not a foot from Lavi's toes. The phone room was mostly empty by now. The Finders had either all gone out to go and fight whatever unknown threat lurked beyond, or they were cowering in fear somewhere in the linen closets. Lavi was going to bet the former. These Finders were made of tough stuff. South America was unforgiving as it was, so these men were practically poured into molds and tempered in a fire before coming out as fully fledged Finders.

"Ha! Yeah right. You sit there all day and you sleep or annoy somebody. I know what you do on your downtime. Mostly because you waste all of mine." Lavi rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Just ... get on with it." He didn't have time for this. He should've just told him to call back, but, like Kanda had said, his reception was spotty. This may be the only time they'd get to talk.

"...Alright. It's a horned mark, two horns inside a circle with writing circumscribed around it."

"Ooooh, 'circumscribed.' You're finally using big boy words now."

"Shut up. Just because I'm not freaking loquacious doesn't mean I can't tell my head from my back end. I'm just not a blithering idiot. The words are in some sort of Cyrillic alphabet, but it's definitely not the Cyrillic we know. I couldn't read any of it, anyhow."

That wasn't saying much. Kanda knew Chinese (and that, just barely) and he'd hardly even bothered to read English save for his dossier sheets.

"Alright, I can look it up. Do you need me to search anything in particular like certain files or paper? What did you see it on?"

"Human flesh."

"...Ah." He was not one to mince words, that was for sure. He never did understand the concept of beating around the bush. Lavi grabbed a pen off a nearby desk, and a bullet ricocheted off a wall and into the wood. He pulled his hand back along with the pen, grimacing as he tried to write down everything Kanda had said with the inkwell and blotter he had on hand next to him on a piece of stationery.

"You're in a fight, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah, just a bit of a scuffle." Someone screamed. Okay, so maybe it was more than just a bit of a scuffle.

"Tch." Wow, that actually sounded forced. In fact, it sounded like Kanda was in a _lot _of pain, or at least otherwise occupied. Lavi knew that he'd been off duty at the Order, so the samurai had to be out and about on a mission again. It was very unlike Kanda to call, though, and even more than that, Kanda had a pain threshold that practically made nerve endings obsolete.

"Um, hey, Kanda? Is everything alright? You sound -"

"Everything's fine. Just a flesh wound to the neck. I'll survive. You don't sound good yourself." Was that concern? Surely not. Kanda didn't show _concern. _Perhaps curious inquiry, but hardly over someone's well being. That was awfully... odd. Lavi shrugged to himself as he readied his weapon, sensing danger coming from beyond the room.

"I've been better. But, you know, I'll survive." He could almost see Kanda's smirk through the phone as Lavi repeated Kanda's phrase. Say what you wanted about the two of them, but they knew each other like day knows itself from night. They may not be the absolute best of friends, but they knew how to pick up the little things that mattered.

"Like always?"

"Like always."

"Don't die. I need someone to beat up when I get home."

"Hey, I need someone to annoy when I come back. Don't _you _die."

"As if. Idiot."

With that parting bit, Kanda hung up, and Lavi was left with a dead dial tone. He stared at the phone for a moment before hanging it back up and, without further ado, went out into the fracas.

* * *

><p>They were being overrun. Bookman hadn't been near the atrium for more than a few moments before Akuma bullets and regular slugs smashed into the pillars holding up the hallways above. People screamed as they were shot, maimed, or otherwise frightened half to death. The old man removed Heaven's Compass from his robes, keeping a firm hand on Darrin's shoulder. They needed the American. There was no telling what would happen if he died. The cylinder seemed to work by the same mechanism as Innocence did to its user, and Innocence did strange things sometimes at the death of the Accommodator. Darrin cursed loudly as a large rocket smashed into a pillar, sending it spilling rock and debris on top of several unlucky Finders.<p>

"Where do we go?" Darrin shouted as they tried to circumvent the bacon grease on the floor that was making it awfully difficult to navigate. Recognizing Lavi's handiwork, Bookman grumbled to himself. He was going to _beat _that boy within an inch of his life! People were dying out there because of his stupid little stunt! It was funny for the first five minutes, but this was endangerment. He watched people haplessly slide across, unable to get their footing. The Akuma themselves were having trouble keeping traction, but the airborne sort were having a heyday, shooting people like dead fish in a barrel.

Esperanza suddenly caught up with the two of them, having held off several men who'd stormed into the library. She was hardly bloodied, save for a small cut on her collarbone, and slightly out of breath from running to catch up with the two old men.

"I talked with Ricardo, and he said that he saw Lavi go near the communications room. I have no idea where he is now, though," Esperanza said, her Spanish accent much more pronounced as stress took its toll. She may be used to mayhem, but in this event it was her _own _that were being killed left and right, and she had no choice but to evacuate the survivors.

"And the emergency plans?" Bookman asked, leading the two. He was careful to keep his Innocence at the ready. He was not allowed to interfere with this fight. He could protect himself, but Bookman protocol stated he was not to play any sort of key role in the defense. Several Exorcists ran past the three, all of them male. More Finders poured from the other direction, trying to get out. Alonzo, the Branch Head, was trying to control everything from his headset where the three could see him barricaded, but it looked like things were going far from what was planned.

"Not good. The Finders have been able to get out, but the pencil-pushers and the clerks are being slow. I need to get my Innocence up and ready - we're the only ones who can - AH!" Esperanza suddenly jerked back in surprise, and Bookman acted with lightning precision. A hundred needles embedded themselves into the trunk of an Akuma, and it froze with a gruesome, open mouthed stare before falling over in a heap. Darrin steadied Esperanza, and the young woman dabbed at a wound on her shoulder.

"I don't think it's poisoned. There are no pentacle marks," Bookman stated swiftly, continuing on. Esperanza, silent and abruptly introspective, followed behind with Darrin in the older man's wake.

They didn't have time to get Esperanza's Innocence. By the time they would have reached the basements, the Akuma would have control of the main floor and all exits. They'd be trapped. The best thing to do was to get everybody out and flee. Realizing he was trying to help, Bookman shook his head and rubbed his eyes with two, stiff fingers. He had to stop doing that. It was becoming habit to look after everyone here! It was as if he were a member, himself -

Realizing his folly, Bookman almost stopped in his tracks, but a wall of Akuma quickly brought things back into focus.

Suddenly burning with frustrated ire, Bookman slayed every single Akuma within three throws of Heaven's Compass's vast supply of needles. Every body was covered until they bristled like thorny hedges. Darrin whistled low in appreciation as Bookman walked past the bodies with nary an irritated look. He was wasting precious minutes. He was going to fetch his apprentice, beat some sense into him, and then get back out. The Order would have to wait - Bookmen came first, always.

Besides, Bookman didn't know what he'd do without his apprentice. With his mental capacities more fragile than ever and that lightning strike he'd taken, Lavi was on incredibly shaky ground. His hand had to be firm, or else the younger Bookman would be lost in his own head. Besides that, Bookman had become increasingly troubled by the closeness Lavi exhibited for his fellow teammates, especially after learning that Lavi had, more than once, practically thrown himself into danger to help another Exorcist, regardless of who it was. What the redhead was doing could potentially kill him or leave him inoperable, useless, and vegetative. To lose another one -

Unthinkable. A solid wall surrounded that part of his brain, the 'ifs' and 'maybes'. He had to keep grounded in the present. He was too good for this. He wouldn't lose another one. He _couldn't _lose another one - he was running out of years to give. Besides, Lavi had gotten so far along. He was almost to the finish line, that final step just within sight. To fail now would be such an utter frustration. With purpose and terseness in his walk, the old man continued onward, the two tagalongs following behind as fast as they were able.

They found Lavi fending off several Akuma all at once, all of them Level Twos. Already, a Finder had one trapped in a talisman, and another Finder was wrestling to get the second one under control as Lavi took on three others.

"Ah, about time you got here, Jiji! What took you so long?" Lavi asked, the sheen of battle-thrill around his person like the buzz of electricity around a wire. His hammer swiped at a leonine Akuma, taking off a leg as it shrieked. The other one pounced, but it was subsequently pinned to a wall by needles. Lavi smashed the tip of his hammer into the face of the other Akuma trying to take him from behind as Bookman impatiently speared its legs. The third was entrapped in another talisman that Esperanza was working, looking slightly put off by the fact she'd had to take the contraption off a pile of dust and clothes. Lavi and Bookman destroyed the others in their talismans easily enough, Lavi receiving only superficial wounds and Bookman hardly breaking stride.

After the fighting had gone down, Lavi smiled boyishly and asked, "Alright, then, where's Darrin? Wasn't he with you?" Bookman looked around, realizing the old man was nowhere in sight. Frowning, he glanced in his general vicinity -

"Over here," a voice said from the ceiling, and they saw Darrin's white-haired head poke above a twenty-foot tall banner on its hanger. Esperanza's eyebrows raised, and Lavi laughed. Bookman shook his head.

"What? I ain't gonna stick around down 'ere with y'all fightin' like crazy people!" Darrin said, scrambling down. Bookman took that time to pull Lavi aside and smack him in the face. The sound resounded across the empty hallway, enough that Esperanza, Darrin, and the Finders keeping watch turned their heads. Lavi looked surprised. That had not been a playful smack - it had been a disciplinary, open-handed slap meant to instill chagrin.

"Your prank is getting people killed," Bookman said in a low voice, his eyes tightening angrily as he pointed with a slight _swish _down the hallway towards the atrium, his robe flapping like a flag. Lavi looked down, his face visibly guilty and confused. He seemed like he didn't know what to do with himself, and Bookman was sorry to have to admonish him so publicly, but they had no time for niceties or the like. Suddenly, Bookman pulled the ribbon out of Lavi's pocket, and he held it up.

"You know better," Bookman said, his words laced with slight disappointment and bitter frustration. The look of utter chastisement and regret welling up in Lavi's single green eye would've broken a weaker man, but Bookman knew better than to let that get in the way of Lavi's far more important mental health and training. It was for the best. He couldn't hang on to things, both physically and mentally. This especially was telling. He'd seen it flutter in the younger man's pocket during the fight. Bookman turned away and put the ribbon in his robe. Over his shoulder, he said, "You are coming with me. We're going." His footsteps were clipped and fast.

"Wait... Going? We can't leave! There are still Finders out there -" Bookman felt aggravation burn and curl inside of him like a Chinese fire snake, lit paper crumpling in on itself into hot coils. Enough was enough.

"Have you not learned your lesson yet, stupid pupil? _We are not true Exorcists. _We are Bookmen. Have you forgotten that so soon?" the head of the Bookman clan asked, not even bothering to look at Lavi. He could almost feel the recoil of his apprentice at the stinging lashes. Good - they were making impressions. Nevertheless, with every cut he put into Lavi's heart, he put a cut into his own. Lavi was the closest he had to real family. To hurt him was painful, to say the least.

Yet, it must be done. Bookmen had no need of hearts. Kindness was not folly in itself - favor was. And what Lavi showed was favor.

_If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off. Better you live without your right hand than have your entire body thrown into the flames. _

It was silent. Finally, in a small voice, Lavi spoke.

"...Aye."

The single word seemed to break the spell of silence over everything. The Finders went back to work, and Esperanza and Darrin busied themselves, suddenly very interested in the machine in the woman's hands. Bookman began to walk down the hallway, unperturbed by the noises of gunfire, though finding it difficult, abnormally difficult, to keep from looking at the wounded. In other battles he'd had no such problem with staring at the soon-to-die using a clinical, sterilized eye. Now, it was much harder. His old age must be making him soft.

"And the other two?" Lavi asked quietly, catching up to the little, old man. His voice was neutral, holding back a flood of emotions Bookman knew he must be wrestling to contain.

"They will find their own way. For now, we go to watch from the rafters. Document everything, just as I have taught you. We will be safe in the place I bring you. If the battle permits it, you may fight - however, it appears that they can fight their own wars," Bookman said, his tone much kinder now. The Chinese fire snake in his chest slowly loosened up, breaking apart into ash. Now he felt numb and gray, and he sighed to himself.

"I am sorry. If I was harsh," Bookman said almost inaudibly. They passed a fight between an Exorcist and five Level Ones. With a swing of his sword, the entire line fell to pieces. Bookman made another mental note of it. He needed to document each Exorcists' kills as best he could. He'd already witnessed several on his way from the library. Suddenly, they passed by the main office, noticing that it was unmanned. The upstairs was barricaded, and several men wearing street clothes were breaking their way in. Bookman felt a jab, and Lavi faltered in step by him.

"Should we -?"

"No. It's not our business." Noises of destruction were the only ones that met the pair's ears as they jogged down the hallway to the atrium.

It was utter horror.

Bodies littered the floor, the dust from poisoned Finders mingling with the bacon grease to create a gritty, disgusting mash in places where people had stepped on bodies. The atrium, a room nearly a hundred and fifty meters in length and eighty meters across, was a battlefield, with pieces of the floor thrown everywhere and chunks of concrete as big as automobiles scattered and broken. People screamed, and it was evident that this was a losing battle. There were only a few Exorcists - at most, five on the entire level. The others were probably scattered about the building.

Bookman's eyes widened at the carnage. Lavi stood as straight and stiff as a tree at his side, the younger man's obvious eagerness to help leaking out of his pores like sweat. Bookman himself felt that urge to save those who were dying or chased. His mind raced as he tried to take in the destruction. Piles of bodies lay around, some of the enemy, others of Finders. There were mountains of ashes where bodies had fallen en masse. Some were regular bodies, organs strewn across the floor from the lethal swipe of knives or sickles. Several had gunshot wounds, most to the gut or the chest. Bookman had seen plenty of battlefields, but this was almost a massacre. Lavi covered his nose, looking visibly sick at the smells of battle. Bookman had forgotten that symptom - Lavi was hypersensitive now to most everything around these days.

"Jiji, it looks like we won't be able to get out and up without a fight," Lavi suddenly said, recovering and pointing towards the door. Sure enough, a wall of Akuma nearly fifty deep guarded the exit, and the other exits out of the building were probably blocked, too. Exorcists were trying to get through the blockade, but it looked like the five that had been on the atrium floor had numbered down to three. The downed Exorcists were probably buried in the bodies, and they'd have to dig them out for their Innocence later. Several Akuma were shooting from the ceiling as well - so much for the rafters being safe.

"... I think we should call in the Omni Protocol," Bookman announced, turning tail. Lavi's eyes widened as he trotted to keep up. Why was he suddenly changing his mind...? They were going to fight? The Omni Protocol was a rarity Bookman had only ever employed once before. Was it merely to get them through the building...? Nevertheless, the redhead didn't question the older man's decision.

"I'll find Esperanza, then. I'm a better fighter than analyst," Lavi said, and Bookman felt a pang of panic go through him like hot acid. He quashed it as soon as it sprung up. He had to let Lavi stand on his own in this matter. If that was what he needed to do, so be it. Bookman nodded, shooing off the younger man.

"I'll work as analyst and find Alonzo. We'll work together in the communications room," Bookman said. With that, the two split up. A weight pulling at the bottom of his stomach, Bookman wondered if those were going to be the last words his apprentice would ever hear. He looked back to say something to Lavi -

The younger man was already gone, and the chance left as soon as it had been brought forth.

* * *

><p>Lavi raced, his mind buzzing with too many emotions to count. Using a technique he'd learned, he focused on a point down the atrium as he ran, batting at Akuma on the way. When he reached each focus point he'd pick a new one, and he'd keep his mind on that next point. The cycle helped him get in tune with the rest of his body, keeping it under control as he held the rhythm of his breathing and his feet slapping the flagstones. It calmed his emotions, gave him something to hang on to. Suddenly, he saw Esperanza point a gun at him, and he forced himself to stop, shouting, "Don't shoot! Don't shoot! I'm friendly!" Esperanza lowered the gun, ducking behind a barrier of rock and masonry. Lavi jumped as the sound of bullets popped near his ears, and he realized he was being shot at. He ran full tilt for Esperanza's little barricade, and a flash of lightning hit with a peal of thunder. In the interim, the storm had come back full force as if to set the tone of the battle.<p>

As Lavi sat next to Esperanza, he noticed that her face was covered in a layer of sweat. The thunderstorm was still affecting her. Her hands shook as she handed the gun to Darrin, who was sitting next to her with his leg bound up in gauze. Ricardo was shaking next to Darrin, and all of them seemed scared out of their wits.

"Who are they?" Esperanza breathed, nodding above in gesture to the men and Akuma attacking.

"Probably Dominguez's. Still, there are a lot more than just his group. I don't know where they're all coming from," Lavi said, keeping an eye out for attack in all directions. Esperanza's breathing hitched higher as another crack of thunder hit the air, shaking the building. Ricardo yelped as a bullet hit their barrier, and Darrin groaned in aggravation at the incompetence of the two. He took Esperanza's gun, a 12-gauge shotgun, and took aim over the barricade, hitting several men square in the chest.

After a while, they started moving the little group away, back towards a hallway. Bookman was nowhere in sight, and Lavi felt a slice of fear slip in between his packed assortment of emotions. What if the old man didn't make it? He was his guide - he wasn't ready for anything without him! He still needed a leader... Lavi kept panic at bay, realizing that the atmosphere of the skirmish was taking a toll on their morale. Ricardo was hyperventilating (not surprising - he _was_ an egghead, his job being 'make things and break things', not 'kill and attack'), and Darrin was in obvious pain. Esperanza was trying to hold together, and she was managing, if just barely. They were going to die if this continued.

"Why didn't you get out of here when you had the chance?" Lavi asked, feeling slightly annoyed. Bookman's words still cycled in his mind, and he was careful to keep his tone neutral. Even so, it was hard considering how apparently difficult it was for Esperanza to even function with the storm overhead. Akuma prowled as the survivors dove for safe barriers from which to fire talismans.

"I need my Innocence. I'm not leaving without it," Esperanza fought through clenched teeth. She reloaded a gun next to Darrin, handing it to the man so he could shoot at the humans who were trying to get at them. Lavi took care of any Akuma that came near. Ricardo attempted to shoot with his pistol, but he did hardly any sort of damage, and he was more likely to shoot himself in the foot out of fright than at a target. Fear seemed to permeate the air like a sour fog, clouding their minds and judgments, making the battlefield a blur.

"If that's the case, we need to go. I can guard Darrin, but you have to go with Ricardo. Don't go alone. Too dangerous," Lavi commanded. He glanced back to the hallway he'd come from. Bookman had disappeared down there, and he was probably sitting among a bank of phones, getting information from every single Finder he could, and making battle decisions with Alonzo as he did. Already, Lavi could see formations of Finders begin taking down the Akuma in teams. The massacre was finally becoming an actual battle as the Order started to reorganize. The tide of battle was turning, and they were in the middle.

"Dadgum. We'd better get goin'. Pretty soon, this place'll be a crater," Darrin grumbled, standing up as well as he could in a crouch. Lavi picked the man up, much to the elder's loud, cursing-filled surprise, and Esperanza nodded to Lavi. They shared a look, one that held more than they could say to each other in that short time they shared gazes, and she was off with Ricardo, running as fast as she could for another hallway.

Lavi ran across the battlefield, dodging projectiles from all directions. He knew from simple observation that the chapel had been turned into an impromptu Infirmary, and luckily the Akuma were not all that bright and had yet to catch on to this fact. Better to keep them in the dark as it was. Lavi crept as discreetly as he could into the chapel, amazed at how loud the normally quiet church building had become. The dying and wounded moaned and screamed as understaffed medics tried to save those who had a hope of life and euthanized those who didn't. Darrin seemed agape at the sheer volume of people, and he said, "Ye can't be leavin' me here. I'll go nuts and kill m'self 'fore they ever get to m'leg." Lavi gave a dark chuckle as he set the old man down on an unoccupied pew.

"Don't worry. You'll be fine. Just stick your fingers in your ears and go 'la la la la la'," Lavi suggested in dark humor, and Darrin scoffed. With that, Lavi left -

Doug stood off to the side of the door, watching Lavi with kind eyes. For a moment, Lavi froze in his tracks, red hair swinging in his face as a breeze swept across the chapel from the open battlefield, but he recovered.

He was just a hallucination. Doug had died - twice. The last time he'd kicked the bucket, Lavi had been there. Mostly because he'd killed him.

The young apprentice kept walking, his footsteps taking on echoes of their own despite the noise in the chapel, and he walked past the apparition without another glance. Doug seemed to radiate this empty feeling, though, and Lavi swallowed hard. In his mind, Doug lived on. He could revisit the man any time he wanted. He could remember every single facet of that Finder down to the strands of hair on his head. Yet, it would never be the same.

Doug followed him through the door.

Lavi headed out into the battlefield, hammer in hand, as he readied himself to take out whatever Akuma was around. Protocol Omni said that Lavi could take out anyone that he deemed as a threat to his safety, and that meant everyone who was either dead and shooting or alive and shooting. He smashed his hammer into several Akuma, his fist into several people's faces, and did his best to ignore the hallucination that always seemed to manage to keep step with him no matter how fast he ran. Akuma after Akuma fell under his hammer, and he wished that he could do the same to the hallucination following him.

Pretty soon he had a pretty good collection of bodies at his spot, and several of the remaining Exorcists had gathered around him to help. Lavi sucked in breath after breath, tired beyond capacity, and he noticed that there were significantly less people. Targets were draining away from the battlefield. The floor was still slick, but the dust from the bodies had made it possible to run across it without too much difficulty, as long as they didn't mind getting people-dust on their shoes. Actually... several of the enemy were _retreating. _

That was fast.

"What time is it?" Lavi panted, resting as a lull in the battle came about. A blonde Exorcist wiped sweat off his brow, and he said in a thick accent, "Almost five o' clock." They'd started fighting around nine in the morning. Sheesh, no wonder he was tired! They'd been out here for almost eight hours. Some of them had been here longer than that. It was a wonder they weren't dead yet.

The smell of dust and blood made his stomach turn, and past battles threatened to swamp his mind as he was reminded of thousands of other such encounters.

And, suddenly, that sense of smell came in handy. He could smell just how much Akuma blood there was on a floor, an amount that nearly had him staggering for clear air as he tried to keep his breakfast (or what breakfast he managed to stomach) in its proper place. Another engagement had been like this, one that had been difficult enough to succeed in putting Lavi at Death's door.

"Guys... heads up," Lavi said quietly to the Exorcists in his vicinity. The Akuma weren't retreating because they were losing the battle. They were retreating to get out of the something's way. That something happened to be mighty big.

_"Mi Dio..." _an Exorcist breathed as Lavi turned to a creaking noise. For the first time in months, Lavi was jettisoned into yet another memory, and just before he blanked, he heard someone shout his name as he fell to his knees.

In the memory, he was already on his knees, and he looked up. He'd fallen in the midst of battle against a Giant Akuma in Edo. Allen ran next to him, and he shouted, "Come on, Lavi! No slouching, remember?" Lavi smiled as the memory's manifestation went through the motions, though mentally he was screaming to get out. This memory was so much deeper. Not only was Lavi walking around in the memory and reliving his thoughts and emotions, he was actually _walking _in the manifestation'ss footsteps, unable to detach himself from his memory-self. It was almost as if he were running through the motions all over again. If he hadn't been aware of the transition, Lavi would never have noticed the change, and he very well may end up living this section of time in his mind over and over without ever realizing he was doing it.

However, Lavi _was _aware. As a perfect mental replica of Allen leaped across buildings, Lavi fought to extricate himself. Each time, he'd had some sort of anchor to hold himself down with. Most of the time, that anchor was pain. If he could move at all, he would be able to find his way back to the actual world. Panic built up inside of his body as he began to realize that he could be trapped for the rest of his life here, stuck in his own mind, forced to start his life over again and again. Every painful experience would be recounted, and every battle and terrifying encounter would be gone over tenfold.

Realizing this, Lavi searched as far back as he could, trying to find a way to differentiate what sensations were his memories and what was actually his body on the outside. Kanda skated across his field of vision, and Lavi was momentarily amazed at just how wide his range of sight was. Very suddenly, he was given an idea. Range of sight... he could figure out what was real and what wasn't by piecing together what experiences were from what memory, current or past! The feel of his feet against the ground... both were pounding against the cobblestones of Edo. His hands were preoccupied with his hammer in this memory, and he couldn't think what they'd be doing in the present. His back... his back was to the air, but he could also feel an overlay of dirt and bacon grease! And he could smell bacon grease! He was on the floor of the atrium...

Like tracing a fishing line to a fish, Lavi found his way back into his own body, untangling himself. The minute he was once again fully present in his own flesh, he sat up and gulped air like a diver coming up for water. Several Finders were sitting around him underneath a cave made of broken concrete. It was a good fortification point with only one entrance. Of course, that only meant one exit, but in battle you took what you could get.

"What's going on? Is everyone alright?" Lavi asked. The Finders looked to Lavi in surprise, and they all looked to each other hesitantly. It suddenly dawned on Lavi that they didn't speak in English.

_"Donde estamos?" _he asked in Spanish, hoping for a better result. All of the men chattered among themselves before one of them answered, _"En la atria. Estan luchando, alli. Sus camaradas te necesitan, lo parace." _Lavi looked out from underneath the rock shelter, and he deadpanned.

"Oh, no," he sighed. The Giant Akuma was just as big as the one in Edo. It was smashing down pillars, breaking hallways, kicking down piles of bodies, and in general being a very big nuisance. This atrium was never going to be the same. From his vantage point, Lavi could see Bookman fighting alongside three other Exorcists. The sword-wielder they'd seen before was doing just as well as Bookman, and Lavi sighed. He must've been out for quite a while. His heart suddenly ached for his comrades back at the European base, but now was not the time for reminiscence.

"Muchas gracias," Lavi said, waving cheerfully as he could. He had to keep his spirits up. He wouldn't let this dishearten him. Nevertheless, it was hard for him to go back out into battle with the raging headache he was receiving from the heady smells of smoke, bodies, and bacon grease along with the threat of falling into another, vivid memory. He pushed everything to the back of his mind, and he went out into the fight, skidding across the floor and growing his hammer with every step he took.

He smashed the elephant-sized end into one of the Giant Akuma's shins. The gangly abomination screeched as it tottered, but it didn't fall. Several of the Exorcists cheered, and they continued to dart and work at the legs of the massive monster. However, it managed to smash a hallway on top of an Exorcist, and Lavi shouted in surprise. The woman's hand twitched for a second, and then it went still. Lavi stared for several seconds, reminded of his mother -

NO! He couldn't be distracted! He'd die if he let himself be pulled into another memory. He'd be stuck, and in that moment the massive thing above him would crush him like a bug.

They all fought tirelessly, Bookman, Lavi, and the remaining two Exorcists. The sword-wielder held out the longest as the second one was injured by another flying piece of debris and carried off the field by a few brave Finders. Bookman was spry enough to get at the higher reaches of the Akuma, while Lavi and the sword-wielder took out its legs. They needed more help, though. Several times they'd nearly felled the beast and killed it, but it refused to go down. Slowly it had begun to creak, and if his eyes weren't mistaken, Lavi could see it was faltering.

"Come on, come on," he breathed, panting. His mind was a mass of confused thoughts as he tried to stay focused on fighting. His synesthesia had come back full force, and he abruptly ran to throw up. He was hauled to his feet by a familiar face, and Lavi looked up at Doug. He scrambled away from the hallucination, and it remained silent as it watched Lavi run away.

The redhead ran past Bookman, and the old man shouted, "It only needs a bit more of a shove, and it'll go over!" That final push, though, was going to be hard to come by. They were down by four Exorcists, and the only other one they had was currently out of sight and out of mind. The group of three fought for what seemed like hours for that last shove, but they never seemed to get past the verge of that terminating move. Finally the sword wielder dropped out of the battle, so tired he could hardly run with his sword at waist height. Lavi was glad that some of these guys knew how to cash in their chips and check out. A lot of men didn't, and it got them killed.

"We can't keep doing this," Lavi said, gasping for breath. He was sweaty and bloody. He'd received a few smacks to the head, and he'd been knocked into a pillar more than once. He'd rolled into a pile of bodies, and he had literal crap on one leg of his pants. The smell was nauseating, and the mixture of aromas was heady enough to throw Lavi off his game.

"We need a miracle," Bookman grumbled. As if on cue, a loud commotion from behind stopped the fight for all of a moment. Lavi slowly smiled, relief flooding through him as the Giant Akuma roared a challenge.

Esperanza stood at the other end of the atrium, a bright coat of colors fluttering around her body as she stared ahead. Behind her, eggheads with several different devices were armed and ready, fresh from the lower floors. Quite a few of the other Exorcists who'd gone to rest had come back with her, bandaged and ready.

The cavalry had arrived.

* * *

><p>AN: I'll make this brief, seeing as this chapter is long enough as it is.

Big, big, big thanks to my reviewers Athena Keating-Thomas (I love the pseudonym, by the by), FelineExorcist, and PrevalentMasters. As usual, all your input is precious and taken into account! I enjoy how in-depth you guys can go with this whole review as well. That's what really makes these stories go.

Muchas gracias to my new subscriber, Athena Keating-Thomas. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoy hearing that you like it enough to put it on an alert list.

And to my new favoriteers, welcome welcome welcome IQ84, FelineExorcist, and Drivenbysound! It takes bravery to put a story with an OC in it on your favorites tab, haha.

Now, for the discussion questions: _Was this chapter suspenseful, mysterious, or active? If you could put a disorder to Lavi's mental condition, what would it be? What do you make of Esperanza's new Innocence, if indeed you recognize it? This is the first time Bookman's perspective has been put in the story - did you enjoy it or felt that it was in character? How well do you think this story meshes with Afrikaan Voices (if you have read it - if not, disregard)? Is there justification for why the Noah have attacked headquarters? Do you miss seeing the villains in every chapter? What do you make of the South American Branch - they are never truly shown in the manga, and therefore this group is entirely fabricated. Is the action well-played out? Was the ending too predictable? Did you enjoy the ending of this chapter anyways? What, so far, has been your favorite moment in the story and why?_

Wow, I put quite a few questions. Huh.

God bless you, and happy reading out there on the World Wide Web!


	23. Un Giro Inesperado

"This is a rather interesting new development," Ofelia sighed to herself, watching from a high vantage point over the atrium. The giant monster was a rather pleasant surprise. At first she'd thought they were retreating early, but this was better for their group over all. The colossus had been so efficient in taking out several of the lead fighters, those 'Exorcists' as Lulu called them. Ofelia honestly didn't care about them, or the ones in the tan clothes, or the ones who were wearing regular attire. All she cared about was that people died.

It was fascinating to watch a person die. She always thought that if she lingered long enough to watch the life drain out of a person, she could see the very moment when the soul left the body, but always it went by so fast she didn't have time to catch that split second of schism. Even if she didn't see that fateful, deciding event, she still enjoyed the thrill of looking into a person's eyes and watching that fear on the cusp of death. She herself had felt it many times before when she was younger.

Her heart fluttered at the memory, and she pushed it down. Fear had no place on the battlefield. Bloodlust and eerie curiosity was all she really needed.

The new group of fighters that had appeared came dramatically, and Ofelia almost scoffed. Such a lewd and childish entrance. There were better ways, surely, to come on to a battlefield without such fanfare. Nevertheless, after that blustering moment was over the group charged onto the field and began hacking and sawing at the Giant Akuma's legs, several people crushed under its massive feet as they got in the way. Ofelia leaned against the banister, watching intently. She could imagine souls flying from this great building, headed towards heaven on high, only to be called back into a different form like this one the dying had been fighting.

"What do we do about the girl in the coat? Do you want me to kill her? I've already taken out quite a few of those uniformed ones," Ofelia said, her tone almost bored. She hadn't had the chance to take out her frustration on any other members of the Order for the past thirty minutes, and she was beginning to tire of this game. She'd been promised justice, but they were leaving the redhead intact. In fact, there'd been specific orders to keep the redhead alive throughout the battle. Ofelia had been shadowing him for a while, always on the fringes of sight. He'd never known she was there, but then again he was preoccupied. He looked relieved now that others had come to help bring down the massive abomination in the atrium.

_"Be my guest. She's unnecessary," _Lulu Bell stated in her ear, and Ofelia giggled into her hand. Finally! A break from the monotony has come through. Ofelia took her gun and leveled it at the girl in the bright coat. She was an awfully good target, with all those colors around her. It was easy to pick her out. Now if she could just stay still for a moment...

Ofelia realized that she no longer had any bullets left. She flicked open her revolver in disgust. A good marksman was nothing if she didn't have bullets in her gun. She just had a useless piece of metal in her hand. Of course, with the right bit of imagination, she could do anything she needed. Suddenly, an idea came to her, and she grinned from ear to ear.

There was more than one way to skin a cat. And bullets weren't the only things that killed people.

* * *

><p>The thunderstorm had abated to nothing more than drizzle, and that sort of favorable weather was just right. Lavi could see the inside of the atrium brightening, and it was easier to tell what he was hitting at and where. Esperanza, no longer incapacitated by fear, had joined in the fight with her new Innocence, though she did so stiffly and recklessly. It was obvious that she hadn't recovered completely from the reintegration, but from the help she was getting from her fellow Finders, it didn't make too much of a difference. Still, Lavi felt a small inch of worry tack on to the long line of fears.<p>

"It's about time you got here!" Lavi shouted, giving Esperanza a leg up onto the Giant Akuma's leg. He jettisoned after her with a quick extension of Little Hammer's handle, and Esperanza quipped back shakily, "Better late than never." Esperanza's coat suddenly morphed around a single hand, and claws took the place of her fingers. She slashed at the Akuma, and a rent opened in its hip. The Akuma swatted towards Esperanza, and she almost didn't get out of the way. Lavi yanked her back with the head of his hammer, catching her with a single arm as he swung down on top of the Akuma's hand. It shattered and cracked, several fingers falling off.

"Careful," he breathed peevishly in Esperanza's ear, and she chuckled deep in her chest.

"I can try," she said, obviously joking. 'Careful' was hardly in her vocabulary now that she was unleashed and weaponized. Esperanza went on the rampage again, and the two of them worked in tandem while the Finders below tangled rope around the legs of the massive behemoth. Bookman led that front easily as the sword-wielding Exorcist came back to finish what he'd started, and with all participants it seemed the battle would be over within a few minutes. Now if Lavi could just ignore the mental ghost tailing him...

"Ready?" Bookman shouted to Lavi and Esperanza. The two of them scrambled off of the Akuma, and it flailed as the ropes around its leg tightened. When the two Exorcists were finally on the ground, Lavi situated himself away from the battle. He gagged as he slid in a pile of bodies, tripping over a corpse. He looked up and tried ignore the smell (and the memories accompanying said smell). Despite his best efforts mental images of dead, decaying things kept popping up in his mind, upsetting his already unhappy stomach. Through sheer will, he tamped it down. He shouted back to Bookman, "Ready!"

"PULL!" Bookman shouted, gesturing from afar to the Finders. With a single, great heave all of the Finders pulled in two directions, and the Akuma began to topple. Lavi ran to Bookman, and the elderly fighter said, "There's not enough rope. We need another shove, or else it won't fall." Lavi scratched his head as he watched, and he suddenly smiled.

"Just a shove?" Bookman raised one, non-existent eyebrow at the redhead as he took off, Esperanza hot on his trail and already guessing at his intentions. Esperanza took up three of the ropes, wrapping them around her arms and pulling back with all of her might. Lavi ran past with a quick salute, and she nodded as she strained. The Finders, emboldened by the Exorcist's help, tugged even harder, and the sword-wielder took up the same stance as Esperanza, taking on five ropes rather than three.

Lavi put himself behind the Akuma, looking up at the massive knee joint, and he sighed. He focused intently before finally invoking his second seal.

"Goka Kai Jin: Hi Ban!" he chanted, and a massive snake of flame hurtled as he slammed his hammer into the Fire seal. The Finders almost fled in fear, but they held their ground, and Lavi directed the snake to slam into the backs of the knees of the Akuma. The joints charred at the bit of the flame snake, and it made popping noises as the Dark Matter disintegrated at the heat of Innocence. It roared and fell with a great reverberating crash, and the entire entourage cheered with a mighty sound. This colossus had been the last of the Akuma - the others had been seen to and defeated, albeit at a high cost. Lavi recalled his fire snake, and it dissipated to smoke. Suddenly exhausted, Lavi smiled wearily at the Finders swarming around him and the other Exorcists who'd participated in bringing down the behemoth that lay at their feet. It was already being finished off by the sword-wielder, the head quickly being cut off to ensure that it didn't suddenly get back up and resume its attack.

"Good work," Bookman said gruffly as people patted Lavi on the back. He glanced up, a smile stretching on his face as he swayed on his feet, and a compassionate Finder drew away the crowd gently.

"Come on, come on, let the man breathe," the tan-suited Finder suggested, pushing them back, and Lavi nodded in thanks to the man. The Finder flashed him a slightly gap-toothed smile, and he nodded in response. The crowd started to scatter as the men and few women began to work. There was much to be done. The dead had to be identified, whether by the tags left behind by those who'd been dusted or the corpses in piles around the atrium. The debris had to be cleared away. Most of all, this floor needed a good scrub, though it'd take a fortune to find anyone willing to get rid of all this bacon grease and corpse-dust.

"I'm going to check on Alonzo. You stay here and document. I better not be finding you taking a nap," Bookman warned, pointing a finger at Lavi. The redhead held up his hands innocently, and he asked, "Now, when have I ever done that?" Bookman shook his head, and he began to hobble towards a hallway, skirting the heaps of dust, ash, and rubble. Lavi watched the old man go fondly, noticing that Bookman was walking with an ever-so-slight limp. He wasn't a spring chicken any more, that was for sure.

Lavi walked towards Esperanza, who was getting her fair share of praise. She must've led most of the Finders out of the lower levels from the looks of it, along with Teo who stood only a bit of a ways off from her. No doubt they'd been at each other's throats the entire way, but they'd managed to make it, and that was all that mattered. Lavi took a deep sigh, regretting the action as bruises around his rib cage stretched. He might have even bruised a few ribs in the fighting itself. He made a mental note to get that checked out. For now, he just wanted to lay back and do nothing, but an idle mind was dangerous.

"We did good, eh?" Lavi said, sticking out a hand towards Esperanza. It'd been such a long time since they'd fought together. It was refreshing to know that they could still accomplish something as a team. Esperanza eyed Lavi's hand suspiciously as if he'd snatch it back the minute she grasped for it, but nevertheless she took it in a firm grip. Her mouth stretched into a smile as she nodded. That was enough for her. Words weren't needed.

Lavi saw it a moment too late. Esperanza had moved after hearing her name called, shifting her stance so that she was leaning away from Lavi. Had she stayed in that position, she might not have survived.

The Bookman Junior watched it all happen in slow motion, unable to react fast enough. First, the metal tip penetrated the cloth with a razor sharp tip before slicing through the skin. It broke and splintered the sternum, pushing its way into the chest cavity. The point punctured the left wall of the heart, nearly slicing through one of the arteries as it tore a lung. The tip blasted through the scapula, breaking off a part of it, before exiting through his back.

All this damage in a matter of seconds. In a way, Lavi could appreciate it. It was beautiful and terrible. An artwork of destruction.

_Tchok. _

The sick noise of something solid going through flesh went largely unnoticed in the atrium. Esperanza, oblivious, walked right past Lavi as he stared at the long piece of wood jutting out of his chest. She jabbered away in Spanish at someone as Lavi touched the spear with a look of astonishment, idly wondering if this was another hallucination. After several seconds, it became very apparent that this was _not _a hallucination. The redhead breathed in, and a rasping, rattling noise echoed in his lungs before he coughed blood, spraying red over his chin and falling over sideways. Pain lanced through his chest in a burning forest fire of epic proportions. Blackness crept upon his vision in smoky rings.

Esperanza heard the sound of a body hitting the floor, and she looked back casually before staring at the downed Exorcist. It dawned on her that something was wrong before she glimpsed the shaft of a spear poking through his clothes.

_"LAVI!"_

* * *

><p>Bookman heard his apprentice's name, or what there was of one, and he turned around with a frown. That was not an angry tone of voice. If anything, it had been panic -<p>

The old warrior was struck stupid by the sight of his student on the ground, a spear sticking out of his back. He moved faster than he had in years, racing between people and rubble to reach his target. Esperanza was already enlisting the help of several people as she tried to pull herself together. Bookman assessed the damage with an acute, serious eye. This was going to be messy to fix, and it would probably resort to magical procedures as well as medical. The more time they spent just standing here doing nothing was time wasted, _Lavi's _time. Bookman pushed away the terror and blind, animal confusion, trying to reach clarity. He had to get this straightened out. He pointed to several Finders and the sword-wielder.

"You, you, you, and you. Carry him. We need to go to the chapel. Be careful with him, don't drop him, and don't you dare touch that spear. Esperanza, keep his head and back straight if you can. Ready - heave!"

As a single unit, they began the long, almost eternal journey to the chapel. Almost immediately, Lavi let loose a blood-chilling scream, but the old man motioned for them to keep moving regardless. They ignored his moaning and crying as they shuffled through the battlefield. Bookman took Lavi's pulse, checked his dilation, and tested his cognition with simple questions. He had treated worse wounds, but the prognosis wasn't good. Even after just a few moments, Lavi's blood pressure was dropping from internal bleeding. His eyes were still dilating, which meant he had no brain injuries, but that could very well change if he lost too much blood. They'd need to get a transfusion going before long. The poor boy could hardly answer questions about his own name. They were going to lose him if they didn't act fast.

They disappeared into the entrance of the chapel, blessed and cursed with a sort of silence that allowed them to hear every single labored breath and pained shout issuing from the dying man, and Bookman fell behind as the full weight of what had happened settled on him.

He kept going, glancing up at the stained glass window as if to ask God for mercy. They were going to need all the help they could get.

They laid him down on the altar on his side, and the sword-wielding Exorcist, a young man only a few years older than Lavi, cut both ends off the spear at Bookman's behest. The elderly scholar sent off several more Finders to get bandages, water, thread, and any anesthetic they could scrounge up from the Infirmary. Now that they were in good lighting, or as good as lighting could get coming from the stain glass windows, Bookman took a real look at the wound. Esperanza and the sword-wielder held Lavi down under Bookman's instruction, though it appeared that both were so tired that they themselves might end up moaning at the altar as well.

Bookman began the gruesome work of exposing the wound. The shaft had not splintered, thankfully. It would come out clean. It was a small spear, only a few centimeters in diameter. Still, pulling it out would be dangerous. It was more than likely Lavi was only alive _because _it was jammed all the way through. His body's blood pressure was kept as level as possible because it blocked the arteries from bleeding out. The thing that was killing him was also saving him.

The Finders came back after Bookman deliberated how best to go about the problem of fixing his young student, and he had the feeling that he'd have to send away the more squeamish. He looked up at the people surrounding the altar, and he asked seriously, "How many of you have weak stomachs?" Two or three raised their hands.

"Leave." They immediately went, not needing to be told twice. The remaining looked nervous now, but they stood their ground. Bookman pointed at one of the Finders, a young man with a mustache and a black eye that he recognized as the messenger Lavi had received.

"Hold his head and calm him down. Once I give him anesthetic, it will be easier," Bookman commanded, and the man did as he'd instructed. Esperanza and the sword-wielder continued to hold Lavi down as the redhead began panicking. Bookman delegated another Finder to help keep him still. By now a veritable ensemble of people were gathering at the fringes of the steps the altar was built atop, perplexed at what all the hubbub was about while so many others were also dying. Bookman ignored them, wiping sweat off his brow.

"I'm going to pull this shaft out of him, and he will immediately buck and scream. Whatever you do, I want you to hold him down and ignore it best you can. If you're not up to it, get out of here. I need that needle and thread handed to me quickly, and I need someone to plug whatever arteries and veins that may have been pierced while I tie them off. We need to work fast, very fast," Bookman said. He recounted the spells he knew in his head, trying to pick the right incantations that would keep the wound free of blood, dust, and debris. It would be a shame if Lavi survived a spear through the chest only to die of infection a few days later.

Finally feeling like he'd never be more ready than he was now, Bookman took the anesthetic they had on hand. It was a small vial of morphine, and Bookman sighed with relief. He had thought they'd only had smaller types of painkillers on hand, but this would more than do the job. It would take several minutes, almost thirty minutes, for it to absorb, though, and that was what worried Bookman. They might not be able to wait that long for it to kick in.

He took a needle and injected the opiate into the man's arm. He took a deep breath, muttering incantations under his breath. He felt a shift in the air, and he knew that the magic was taking effect. That would take care of infection, major heart problems, and other more serious medical issues while Bookman did his work. The magic would only stay so long, though, and Bookman was old - he wasn't sure how long he could keep up spells like this. Cracking his knuckles, Bookman began to count.

"One...two...three." In contrast to his calm countdown, Bookman yanked the entire shaft out of the Exorcist's chest, and some of the Finders almost broke away and screamed as blood followed. The blood magically stemmed, but there was still quite a bit that was flowing from the broken artery. The heart was exposed, now, but it was dark and hard to see. On top of that, Lavi was now kicking and screaming as Bookman had predicted. Esperanza was clocked in the face with a knee, and the sword-wielder slammed himself on top of the other man to keep him from flailing.

Bookman went off at a lightning fast pace, binding the pierced artery with string before moving on to something else within the body, knitting the flesh together as he went with more spells. Magic could only do so much, though, and Bookman winced as he realized that he'd need someone to pinch off the artery he'd just tied while he worked on Lavi's heart. If they didn't finish soon, he'd go into shock. Already he was paler than the white sheet on top of the altar.

"Esperanza, hold this," Bookman commanded, nodding to the artery. The young woman looked up, completely surprised, before becoming apprehensive for all of a second. Fear and uncertainty flashed on her face, and Bookman was momentarily afraid she'd bolt. Instead, she came over and did as Bookman told her, biting her lip as she visibly began to turn green underneath her dark complexion.

Another ten minutes went by, and Bookman had Lavi sewed up entirely. The entire ordeal had lasted all of half an hour. The Finders and Exorcists looked at each other, realizing there was nothing more to do other than drug up the man as much as they could without killing him and pray as hard as they could manage.

Esperanza immediately shuddered and began to walk away with a slight sway. Two other Finders staggered off with shell-shocked faces while the sword-wielder collapsed to his knees in front of the altar, leaning against it despite the blood and dust. Bookman wiped his face, smearing it with blood as he listened to Lavi moan. He'd be in intense pain for quite a while longer, but the morphine was beginning to set in. Hopefully Morpheus was kind enough to give him good dreams.

What was done was done. It was in God's hands.

* * *

><p>"I missed," Ofelia said as she skidded down the rooftop. She'd come out through the rafters before they could realize what had happened. For a moment she'd been afraid she might not make it, but then she'd remembered a secret passageway meant to cart important bishops away from harm. Funny how it had been used by a murderess intent on destroying the very people the passageway was meant to protect.<p>

_"You missed? What do you mean, 'you missed'?" _Ofelia bit her lip to keep herself from smiling. Oh, it had been exhilarating! She hadn't had such a difficult and creative problem since that Frenchman who lived in Buenos Aires with the attack dogs throughout his property.

It had been deceptively simple to remedy her problem. All she'd had to do was take a spear off of a dead Finder, dress in his clothes, and waltz as close as she could manage. The spear throw had been difficult, and she'd meant to spear the bright-coated woman as well as the man in front of her, the redhead who'd killed her father, but she was more than happy to have just the redhead. Justice was meted out to the wicked, and those good souls were rewarded for their efforts. She'd bopped a poor other Finders on the head who was in plainclothes, stripped him, and dressed him in the clothes she'd stolen. Voila!

She tried not to chuckle as she said, "I was aiming for the woman in the coat, but I ended up hitting the person in front of her. I couldn't find another spear, and if I'd stayed any longer I would've been found out. And you'd told me to keep an eye on the redhead anyways."

_"Yes, because I'd wanted him alive." _She'd already guessed that.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were in love with the kid," Ofelia said with a slight laugh. She dropped onto another roof, and she began down the fire escape on the side of the building. The earring crackled before Lulu said, _" Hardly. We needed him, though. I'm disappointed. I guess this means more work for us. There was only one of him, after all. There is the off-chance that he didn't die, and I'm hoping that is the truth. You, on the other hand, may not be able to repeat your mistake twice." _Ofelia narrowed her eyes. She knew all too well what that phrase meant. However, the young girl wasn't without her merits. She had been digging a bit, and she knew just why they wanted that little mite with his brain intact.

"Well, that's too bad then. I was hoping to get that old man, too," Ofelia said. There was a pause.

_"I wasn't aware an old man had arrived. Are you talking about a robed scholar with a ponytail?" _Ofelia smiled. Snakes knew how to survive.

"Oh, yes, that's the one. He was hauling off the redhead along with some other goons," Ofelia stated offhand. Lulu Bell chuckled.

_"You think you're clever. Congratulations - you might actually be useful for a while longer. After all, I need eyes to keep a firm watch on them, and I recall you telling me that you had a fondness for redheads. I trust you'd keep a_ very _keen gaze on the boy if he survives._"Ofelia laughed at that. If he survived, yes, that was true. Ofelia had a thing for survivors. They almost always had a dark, troubled past, and more than that, they could outlast her. Still, she wouldn't be too disappointed if he died. She touched down on the ground, and she whipped her hair out of her face as briny air rose to meet her. She suddenly felt her heart flutter in her chest, and Ofelia's eyes widened. She leaned against the wall, taking shallow breaths. Shaking, she took a small box of pills out of her pocket and hastily popped a white circle into her mouth. Her heart continued to dance arrhythmically in her chest.

_"Oh, and another thing. Remember..." _Ofelia was suddenly aware that there was someone behind her.

"You only live once," Lulu Bell said in her ear, walking past the girl. The assassin's eyes widened as she watched the woman walk off. She hadn't even heard her footsteps. There'd been no indication that Lulu Bell should've been there, and yet she appeared as if she'd been whisked from the very air itself. Suddenly much more reluctant, Ofelia followed behind the Noah, looking back.

It was just her imagination, but she couldn't help thinking that for a moment Death had breathed in her ear and only by grace had she been spared.

* * *

><p>He'd sat there for more than seven hours. Once a steady supply of morphine had begun flowing through the chapel, Lavi had gotten first priority as an Exorcist. Bookman knew that the young apprentice would've protested this decision, but seeing as he was in no shape to complain Bookman had taken advantage of it. For the first three or four hours, Lavi had writhed on the altar while Bookman had made him comfortable as possible. Bookman felt helpless watching him plead to make the pain go away, and he did the best he could to alleviate what agonies he could. They'd given him several blood transfusions, and they were beginning to run out of donors. Even Esperanza had volunteered, but she'd already been so injured as it was from the integration process she'd undergone that it was more likely to kill her.<p>

Lavi was currently in a comatose state, and he'd been that way for the past half-day. Bookman knew that the longer he stayed asleep, the lower his chances of survival became. He stood up from his chair next to the altar, and he stood over the young man. He took a single gnarled hand and brushed some of the hair out of his student's face.

He'd known Lavi since the day he'd been chosen. Every step of the way, he'd been there to lead and guide him. He'd shaped Lavi into the man he was today, and he could say that he hadn't done half bad. He just wished that he'd shown it better. Bookman lightly brushed a thumb over Lavi's forehead, feeling the dry, cool skin. At the least he didn't have a fever. That was a good sign.

Bookman found himself going over all of Lavi's features as the young man slept. He knew every pock, scar, and bump on the boy's face. He remembered where every single mar had come from, be it a hoof to the face from an ornery mule or a piece of shrapnel that hit him when he'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Tracing a single scratch on his forehead, Bookman bit his lip as he felt a lump build in his throat. The story of his life was on his face, even if on paper Lavi technically didn't exist. It didn't seem possible that Bookman could lose yet another apprentice. Yet the possibility loomed like a dark sail over them, furthered by the passage of time.

A tear threatened the border of his eyelid, and Bookman blinked it away. He wouldn't cry. Tears would do nothing to wake or heal the man on the altar. Despite this, it was hard to keep from letting the tears gathering in his throat spill over. In a rare moment of affection, the elderly scholar took Lavi's hand, gripping it tightly. He ran his thumb over the back of the inert Exorcist's hand, and memories flooded him like a bright spotlight.

_Age 7. The boy continues to carry that blasted book. Bookman made a mental note to take it from him and hide it. The redhead seemed to have some sort of supernatural ability to predict when he was about to take it, though, and he hides it so well that Bookman could turn the entire place upside down and never figure out where he put it. He was growing taller, too. Pretty soon Bookman was going to have to buy him new clothes. He grew like a weed! Still, Bookman couldn't say that he wasn't progressing. He was awfully good with memorization, even if he was a lazy little git in the mornings. Feh, children. _

_Age 9. He's actually doing well. So far he's already started on the histories of Russia and France, and he already has England, Ireland, and India under his belt. Bookman harrumphed as Phillipe flipped through his latest history text. So maybe the scouts weren't such idiots after all. He still has problems with attachment, though he's doing better. Those bombs are a good deterrent, seeing as that child from the next apartment died just last night from an explosion. After witnessing that woman's torture he'd mellowed out, too. In fact, he was a lot quieter now than he had been previously. Bookman felt a moment of sympathy, but he shrugged it off. Better the kid learn to separate himself from what he was seeing now than try and do it later. Phillipe turned another page, and he looked up. The empty green eye watched Bookman, and the elderly teacher walked out of the room.  
><em>

_Age 12. He's finally gotten taller. Bookman sighed. It figured. He couldn't keep using his ponytail as leverage forever, after all. Solomon's gotten good at playing the part of the happy-go-lucky, flippant airheaded child, too. He's definitely good playing ball. Dodging those bullets had really taught him a thing or two. Bookman chuckled darkly at his own gallows humor. With that smile on his face, no one would think there was anything wrong with the kid. He was learning fast, too, making analyses on wars and battles that even older apprentices had trouble with. Dare he say it, Bookman might actually be proud.  
><em>

_Age 14. He's begun to fill out now. He's still pretty awkward, too, seeing as he just had his growth spurt. It came a bit late, and Bookman sighed as he watched Cory wink at some pretty girls. Not only was he a good actor, he was a flirt, too. He should've guessed that. All those hormones all at once - it was a cocktail for disaster. This was the hardest part of the training. His mind would definitely be on other things. "Bookman! Hey, could you hand me that book over there? Yeah, the one with the numbers. Thanks." Bookman noncommittally shrugged. Or, perhaps, maybe not. "Alright, alright, but don't use your smarts just to pick up girls. We've got work to do." That groan of his was just so endearing. Bookman rolled his eyes as he sarcastically smacked Cory up the back of the head. _

Something snapped the old man out of his reverie. Someone was standing next to him, hesitant and afraid. He looked back, recognizing the stink of fear as Esperanza looked down with blank, listless eyes at the man on the table. She'd thrown up three times already. Bookman couldn't blame her. It wasn't every day that a woman pinched shut her partner's arteries. She liked to make off she was made of steel, but that was far from the truth. If anything, she was a piece of flimsy tin. Still, she'd lasted this long, and Lavi liked her. She'd stuck by him and helped. Tin wasn't always useless.

"I...I'm sorry," Esperanza hesitantly said, rushing through the last words in heavily accented English. Her voice was thick as she stared at Lavi, almost as if she were at a casket viewing. Bookman sighed to himself, refraining from making a facetious comment. He continued to hold Lavi's hand, pensively running his thumb over each of the digits and storing the feeling away in his own memory manifestation. He wanted every scrap of information about Lavi now, about every feature and sense possible. He'd done that with... well, with the last one, too. He could pull up that one's face easily, like whipping out a photograph from a wallet. If he were a better artist, Bookman would've drawn a sketch of him by now.

"Is there anything I can do?" Esperanza asked, looking awkward and strangely a bit sweet all at once. She was out of place here - it was obvious that mayhem and destruction was her usual locale. The quietude of the chapel fit her like a too-tight suit. Bookman met her eyes, and he looked back at Lavi, half-hoping that he'd open an eye and crack a joke about Bookman getting old and his sewing work being sloppy.

"Not that I know of," Bookman said gruffly. Esperanza pulled up a chair, and she sat next to Bookman. The two of them had gotten along alright, but Bookman had mixed feelings about the girl. She was obviously causing division in Lavi's mind, but at the same time she was helping him with his mental problem. It wasn't an easy decision to make on whether to keep her or not. She also apparently cared for Lavi's well-being, enough to stick her hands in his chest and help Bookman out. That took some guts, pardoning the pun.

"I feel... selfish," Esperanza said quietly, and Bookman looked over at her. The edges of her eyes were tired. Lines were drawn on her face like thin pencil marks dragged through clay. She stared over Lavi's inert form to some far away point. She hadn't cried at all this whole time, and Bookman wondered what was going on in her head. Blue eyes turned like a lighthouse's beam to Bookman, and she said, "All I could think about when we were carrying him was 'that could've been me... that could've been me... that could've been me...' And I couldn't let go of the fact that I could be on that altar instead. That entire time, I was thinking about myself."

Bookman let loose a bark of a chuckle. "That _is_ selfish."

Esperanza lifted an eyebrow, and she took a deep breath.

"Is that why you tried so hard?" Bookman asked, turning away. Esperanza was quiet for a moment, and she fooled around with the edge of her shirt hem.

"Yeah. I guess. After a while I couldn't stand to hear him scream. I had half a brain -"

"Half a mind," Bookman corrected with a mutter.

" - Half a mind to put him out of his misery. You put him back together again, though." She gestured to Lavi, and Bookman felt his heart drop to his stomach.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch. He's far from out of the woods. A million and one things could go wrong," Bookman mumbled, half to himself. He couldn't get his hopes up too high. It was quiet for a long while as the two of the watched Lavi's chest rise and fall, almost seeming to hold their own breath every time he exhaled as they wondered if it would rise again. They'd almost lost him early on when he'd very abruptly started turning blue due to a heart problem. Bookman had fixed it in time with a bit of work, but it had scared them all. A nurse had already brought up a crude version of an IV tube and bag.

"Dadgum, can't hardly move with all this goin' on," a familiar voice said as Darrin clambered up the stairs. He looked up at Lavi and the two people sitting beyond him, and the old guide whistled low.

"Doggonit, he don't look good. Gramps, ya got some mighty fine embroidery right there," the man said, scratching his stubble while he leaned against a long, candle lighter he was using as a makeshift cane. The cylinder on Darrin's back winked in the dying light of the candles around the chapel.

"Thank you," Bookman said gruffly. He put Lavi's hand gently on his chest before sitting down wearily. Darrin sighed through his nose as he watched the young man sleep, and he shook his head.

"Y'know, he done remind me of m'own sons," Darrin said quietly, drumming his fingers against the altar. Bookman gave the impression of being mildly surprise while Esperanza asked incredulously, "Some woman was willing to have children with you?" Darrin made a face at Esperanza. He cast his gaze back on Lavi, and he said, "Yeeep. Got twelve of 'em, though half're dead 'cause a some of the stupid stuff they done. The other half... shew, this'n reminds me of the other half. Sharp as a tack, clean as a whistle, and handsome to boot. They get it from their daddy, y'know?" Esperanza and Bookman simultaneously rolled their eyes heavenward at this comment.

"You done good, raisin' him. He's as fine a feller I ever met. Near 'bout cried seein' him in that much pain. Bookman, you ain't did half-baked with this'n. Be a right shame to see him go off to the Maker," Darrin said after a moment, looking up at Bookman. Ah, so he'd figured it out already, the relationship between Bookman and the redhead. It appeared his brain _wasn't _thirty percent alcohol. Bookman felt a small glimmer of pride in his chest. Yes, Lavi _was _a good apprentice. On some counts, he'd been more than just a good apprentice - he'd been a good person. No... he _was_ a good apprentice, and he _was_a good person. Bookman couldn't help nursing that hope like a small, single spark. He wasn't dead yet.

"I enjoyed raising him. He's like my own son," Bookman stated almost inaudibly, his face taking on a serious and dark cast as he stared at Lavi. A tear slipped from underneath Lavi's eyelid as the young man subconsciously scrunched his face in pain. Bookman stood up and checked his IV before realizing that they couldn't give him any more morphine without risking either overdose or dependency. Shaking his head, Bookman wiped away the teardrop from Lavi's face, letting his fingers linger. He put in a different painkiller, this one less potent, and he took his seat again by the altar.

The three of them eventually sat down next to the altar and talked the time away. Several people came up to see Lavi and offer help or materials, including the sword-wielder and Teo. Ricardo joined the three with shaking hands and his own chair, and the four seemed to keep a vigil over the redhead until all of them succumbed to sleep.

All the while, the Exorcist on the altar merely breathed, the only sign of life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I've been on a writing spree lately, now that I've finally moved on with the plot! Hopefully it continues this way for as long as possible. I've enjoyed writing these last few chapters (which is kind of worrying, considering the content). I'm sorry if anything on the medical detail for the story has been unrealistic or false - I'm going off my knowledge of first aid, what I know about the human body, and good old bullpuckey.

Thank you, thank you to KHFFROKSMISOKS XD for reviewing on the last chapter.

And big thanks to Athena Keating-Thomas for subscribing. Unless... wait, was that last chapter or this chapter? Oh, darn it, I can never remember. The old lady brain is getting to me.

Now for your favorite part: Discussion! _Were these scenes too graphic, too intense, or just plain horrible? What sort of feelings did this chapter evoke? Are you enjoying the suspense? Most of this portion of the story is told from Bookman's point of view - how interesting is it from his view point? Describe the relationship between Lavi and Bookman within the context of this story. Let's make you think - why did the Noah attack the HQ in the first place, as it's not a main base and honestly did not have any strategical value? __What did you enjoy about this chapter, if indeed there was anything you enjoyed at all? Would you like to see more of any of the smaller, not-named characters in this chapter show up later in the story? From greatest to least, list off your favorite characters thus far in the story. _

That's all I've got for you this week. Happy reading, and God bless you!


	24. A Mask To Burn

They stayed with him for five days. After the third day, they'd moved him back into the Infirmary because most of the equipment had been fixed, and at the least they had actual chairs to sit in, rather than the folding, wooden kind. Every day, they sat there and waited, all four of them. It was all they really could do. When Bookman would leave for a conference with Alonzo, who'd managed to stay alive, Esperanza or Ricardo would watch Lavi and make sure that he was getting the right amounts of medication. They slept in shifts in case he woke up. They took turns going and getting food, water, or a bathroom break. As the days dragged out, it seemed like he'd never wake up.

Bookman rarely left his apprentice unless he absolutely had to. He'd sit there holding his hand, and he'd patiently wait. Bookman didn't think he'd ever get used to the raspy, pained breathing issued from his student, but Lavi was progressively breathing easier. Bookman had cast several more spells, using Esperanza as the energy source seeing as Bookman was running out of reserves. He was an old man, and his body didn't work like it used to. Several times, he'd fallen asleep during his shift, and Darrin had been kind enough to move him to a more comfortable spot in the Infirmary while he took over the shift. More than once, Bookman had caught Darrin talking to Lavi while he lay comatose, telling him stories about things that happened out in the mountains or during the long trek across the American West. Ricardo would chime in quietly now and again, the sandy-blond scientist taking time off of his work when he could to visit and wait for the man to wake up.

Esperanza, oddly enough, seemed the most detached. So far, she'd only held his hand once. Bookman came up with a theory; she was a reserved Hispanic, and she probably didn't think it appropriate to touch someone else without their permission, even a friend. Never the less, she was the least vocal of the group, preferring to watch Lavi rather than speak to him or touch him.

The days had passed by like molasses through a sieve, slowly dripping from one moment into the next. People rushed around and tended to the other wounded, and Esperanza and Bookman helped where they could. Ricardo was sent to work, fixing the other pieces of damaged equipment, and they all did their part while Darrin healed his own injuries. When they were all together and lacked work, they'd sit and talk to each other. Darrin continued to fiddle with the canister that he'd had with him since the day he'd arrived, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get it open. Bookman worked on the translation tirelessly when he wasn't tending to his apprentice. In this slow and steady fashion, they spent their time watching and waiting, hoping fervently yet silently, for the redhead.

On the fifth day, Bookman fell asleep against the bed, Lavi's hand firmly in his own. Abruptly he woke up as he realized that something had changed. The old man jerked completely awake, looking up at the young man with bleary eyes before realizing that his breathing was faster, though not necessarily in a dangerous way.

"Hey," Lavi croaked. His voice was scratchy from neglect, and his lips were dry. Bookman almost thought he was dreaming, but the sudden pressure on his hand said otherwise. The wounded man's fingers curled around Bookman's arthritic digits gently, and Bookman gave a great sigh, almost as if he'd been holding his breath these past five days. In a fit of affection and absolute relief, Bookman brought Lavi's hand to his mouth and gave it a kiss, pressing it to his forehead as he breathed, "Thank God. You're alive."

"What, I'm breathing, aren't I? Was I not before?" Lavi rasped, a small smile at the edges of his lips, and Bookman rolled his eyes. Yeah, he was definitely alright. He was already cracking jokes. Bookman shook his head, and he patted Lavi's hand. Lavi scrunched his face in pain as another wave of agony rolled over him, and Bookman gave him another painkiller to stave off the discomfort.

"How long?" Lavi croaked, and Bookman took a wet rag out of a bowl. He offered it to Lavi, and the injured Exorcist took it, pressing it between cracked lips. He wouldn't be able to take water directly out of a cup for a while.

"Five days," Bookman sighed, running a hand over the section of his pate that was bald. And what a long five days it had been. The other three were asleep. It was the early, early hours of the morning, and all of them looked half their age in sleep. Lavi turned his head, and he put the rag back into the bowl with difficulty.

"Sheesh, you guys sat here for five days? I would've lost patience already," Lavi joked, a small smile cracking his face. He looked down at himself, and he frowned.

"Why am I wearing different clothes?" Bookman gave a sardonic look. The clothes he'd had on were filthy, disgusting, and all around unsanitary. Bookman and Ricardo had opted to switch him into something a little bit more comfortable and clean.

In this case, pajamas with lambs on them. It was all that they had on short notice. Ricardo had had to dig them out of his own trunk.

"That's not important. How do you feel?" Bookman stated, cutting to the quick. Lavi winced as he took a deep breath. It took him several moments to respond as he mustered what little energy he had.

"Been better," he answered after much deliberation. Bookman gave a short chuckle, and Lavi smiled wider. The redhead attempted to sit up, and Bookman quickly stood up to push him back against the bed.

"Don't move for now. You might rupture something I've stitched up on the inside. It's been five days, but it's still too soon to say if it's healed any," Bookman warned, and Lavi nodded as he lay back against the mattress. It wasn't the most comfortable thing the world, but it would do for now. For a long time, they stayed quiet. The sun rose slowly like a sleepy lion, growing more powerful until a mane of rays surrounded it and poured forth into the windows of the Infirmary.

"I think it is time I told you about double manifestations. This has gone on for too long," Bookman said quietly. He had been thinking of this for a long while. He was no fool - he had seen Lavi's progress from above the battlefield, and he knew that his apprentice was still battling the illusions his mind created to torment him. Guilt was a strong thing - a guilty mind, even more so. It was not just guilt that assailed Lavi, though. There were other, underlying, perhaps even congenital, problems within his mind that may need fixing, and doing so would not be easy.

"Double manifestations?" Lavi asked slowly, breathing out every syllable with deliberate care. He made use of every breath of air in the interest of conservation. Bookman knew his chest must feel tight and painful. There was only so much painkiller they could give him. He had lost a lot of weight in the past few months - at last weigh in, Bookman recalled him being about twenty pounds lighter than when he'd begun this mission. From Esperanza's last report, Lavi had had to stop eating because his synesthesia was bad enough to make him vomit. Bookman had seen that himself when Lavi had walked out on the battlefield and visibly taken sick. They had been to thousands of battles, and Bookman remembered his own time struggling with memories rushing back to him. How much worse to remember the emotional attachment along with the horror accompanying such an event?

Bookman glanced back at the sleeping Esperanza, feeling guilty all of a sudden. He had not been entirely truthful with Lavi. In fact, neither she nor he had been truthful.

"You know what it is," Bookman said, letting out a long sigh. "Two people enter the same mind, and the one guides the other. It's an ability that does not belong to everyone. It is reserved for Bookmen and their successors along with a select group that has the ability within the clan," Bookman said, closing his eyes and steepling his fingers. Here was the kicker. Double manifestations, to be frank, were dangerous. If there was too much pull on one side or the other, one mind would engulf the target mind and they'd get nowhere. If the other person got lost or entranced while in the memory manifestation, usually a person who had the ability but not the training to withstand such vivid memories, they became mentally trapped and there was no getting them back out.

"You want to try that?" Lavi asked slowly, and Bookman shook his head. He opened his eyes.

"Not right now. Unless you were literally dying at my feet and there was no way of saving you, I would have in order to find a place to store your memories by overlaying some of the less important ones in my own mind. However, that is not the case, and I will not push you while you are recovering," Bookman explained. He sat up straight in his chair as dawn's light warmed his wrinkled face, and he looked back at Esperanza again. He wondered if he should say anything. What good would it do?

"Hey, Jiji... there's smoke coming out of your ears. What's the matter?" Lavi slowly drawled, his one eye half-closed from exhaustion and medication. Bookman looked back at the man on the bed, and he thought about the spark still in that green eye despite the fact he was drugged up enough to knock out a grown elephant. It was a wonder he'd woken up in the first place. It must be wearing off again. Even with the lack of food, his metabolism consumed like a fire. Medication had always had a minimal effect on him.

"Nothing, idiot apprentice. Your eyes are getting glare off the sun. You should rest," Bookman suggested quietly. He didn't want to wake the other three right now. Lavi was still weak. In fact, it looked like it took him conscious effort to breath. Nevertheless, it was best that he get his sleep. His chances of surviving his ordeal had just spiked.

Lavi's eye widened, and he suddenly stopped breathing. For a minute Bookman was afraid that he was having a relapse, but it appeared that whatever it was only lasted a few seconds as Lavi tried to calm himself down and breathe again. He lifted a shaky head to wipe at his face blearily, muttering something to himself. Bookman frowned, and he shook his head. Patting Lavi's hand, Bookman settled back into his chair. Within moments, Lavi was asleep again, although fitfully. Now that he was awake, it would be difficult for him to sleep again. Bookman pursed his lips in thought as he flipped through a text, feeling lighter.

Esperanza woke up soon after that. She was an early riser, he'd give her that. She took one look at Lavi, and she said, "You didn't wake me up." She didn't sound angry, sad, or excited. It was a statement. Perhaps that was one of the things Bookman liked about Esperanza so much. Of course, 'like' was probably too strong a word. Perhaps 'respect' was a better one. Bookman cocked his head to the side as he stared at her, one brow raised in slight amusement. He still couldn't really tell if he was fond of her or not. She _was _the source of Lavi's mental distress. Or, at the very least, somewhere in the middle of it.

"I apologize. You took double watch yesterday. I thought you'd need your sleep," Bookman stated blankly. Despite the heartfelt discussion they'd shared earlier in the week, they'd reverted to once again being all business with each other, keeping a safe distance as always. Neither could truly decide whether they liked the other or not for varying reasons, and that caused a bit of tension. Esperanza stood up and walked around to the bed, standing near the foot rather than the head in order to keep her presence from waking the sensitive apprentice. She looked over at Bookman and opened her mouth, and then she clamped it shut. She crossed her arms in a rather decisive fashion before saying, "I tried very hard." Bookman eyed her with a noncommittal stare.

"He's a likable person. It's hard to distinguish act from emotion," Esperanza sighed, rationalizing of course.

"I know. I taught him a little too well, apparently," Bookman responded. Esperanza suddenly answered back, "I wasn't talking about him." There was a quiet pause as the two thought of the irony of the situation. Such an odd predicament.

"You told me to get close to him. That's what I did." Her words lilted with her accent, and Bookman sighed. It was easy to see where Lavi had strayed. Bookman hadn't thought this out very well. Perhaps if he'd searched for a more conspicuous Exorcist, like a forty-year-old man with scars and a penchant for lacking subtlety or a middle-aged Finder he had under his thumb, Lavi would've been more miffed than insane. Esperanza had looked like an appealing proposition on paper. Young, agile, a Hispanic who was stoic enough to keep him on his toes but young enough to relate and just 'naive' enough to seem free of Bookman's plans. The fact she'd been in the Wildcat Wars had also been a big plus. He could kill two birds with one stone - see how well Lavi did out on the field by himself while teaching him a lesson about impartiality.

Well, _that _plan tanked hard. Look where they were now.

"No worrying about that now. You played your part a little too realistically," Bookman said, his voice taking on an accusatory tone for all of a second. This time, Esperanza's eyes tightened.

"You said to get into his head. I did as you asked," Esperanza said quietly. "I am not anything if not dutiful." Bookman sniffed derisively.

"Still, it would've been better if you'd kept a safer distance. I believe it is time you cut ties with us to give him some breathing room. Tell him everything and so forth. Make it a clean break," Bookman critiqued, and Esperanza's expression turned dark.

"What would you have me do? If I leave, he gets worse. If I stay, he gets worse. He doesn't take care of himself if I'm not there to shove food down his throat and stick him in the shower every few days," Esperanza grumbled belligerently. Bookman raised an eyebrow at the woman, surprised at the concern she was exhibiting. Esperanza was not known to be a caring woman. Quiet, yes; patient, yes; insightful, yes; but concern was not in her arsenal of traits. The most she had shown care for was her horse and her family.

"Between the two of you, it's even hard for me to distinguish what is 'act' and what is 'genuine'. You are a confusing bunch," Bookman grumbled. Esperanza sighed in agreement, her face neutral. Nevertheless, the two talked further on a few topics pertaining to Lavi's mental health, going extensively into detail as quiet as they could. Bookman hadn't had a full report on everything, and Esperanza could only tell him so much on the phone before Lavi started to notice that she was talking about _him _and not Order plans. It wasn't long before they strayed on how to keep Esperanza out of touch, at least for the time being. Out of sight, out of mind... hopefully.

"You should do it soon, then. I'll phone HQ for your replacement." It was very quiet for a while, both lost in their thoughts. Bookman was deliberating; what she had said was true. Lavi didn't take care of himself very well without her in his current condition. He was too preoccupied on staying in the present and working on what was in front of him to eat, sleep, bathe, make himself somewhat presentable, what-have-you. Esperanza was a great help in that aspect. At the same time, she posed a great risk as well.

"I should've known better than to give instructions to you in English. Since when did 'watch' mean 'be a nanny'?" Bookman muttered. Esperanza only gave a sharp 'tch'.

"Did I miss somethin'?" Darrin mumbled from his own bed down the way. They'd forced him to sleep in a bed due to his wounded leg, which may or may not have an infection. The two turned to look, and Esperanza sighed, "Yes. _Nos amigo _woke up nearly ten minutes ago." Darrin cursed vehemently, and Esperanza rolled her eyes as an older woman in the bed beside Darrin's threw her tin mug at him and yelled, _"Vuelva a dormir, estupido!" _She rolled over, and Darrin stared at her before making faces childishly. Cantankerous as always, he got out of bed and walked over to them despite his leg, dragging the cylinder of brass behind him.

"How's he?" Darrin muttered, jerking a pointy, stubble-covered chin. Bookman idly wondered if he'd ever seen the man with something as close as a shave. He couldn't recall, which meant... never.

"Better. If you're not quieter, though, he'll wake up again, and he needs the sleep," Bookman said patiently. Darrin nodded, and he took his seat. Ricardo slumped at that moment into Darrin's lap, and Darrin visibly suppressed the urge to cuss as loud as he could while his face slowly took on a red cast. Esperanza raised both eyebrows, gruesome scars stretching with the moving skin. Darrin shoved the man off his lap, and Ricardo woke up with a start on the concrete floor and yelped.

The noise was loud enough to wake Lavi again, and this time Lavi actually yelled in surprise at something. Esperanza narrowed her eyes at him, and Bookman could see if she was wondering if it was _her _he'd been startled by. Lavi recovered rather quickly though as he said, "Sorry, I... thought... saw someone..." He pointed beyond Esperanza and sat up. All of those in attendance helped him, even Esperanza (though tentatively). Darrin and Ricardo gave their best well wishes and greetings while Lavi pulled up the energy to smile.

"Now that everyone is awake, I believe I can begin speaking on our dilemma," Bookman said irately after all the pleasantries were out of the way. Lavi looked better, and his skin was a brighter hue. He didn't look nearly so ghastly, though he did have a very slight bluish tint to his lips that was a bit worrying. Nevertheless, Lavi was completely attentive, as was everyone else.

"The Noah attacked for a reason," Bookman began. "That reason is hard to define, however, because this was not an attack in the sense that they were after something. The obvious idea was that they wanted Darrin and that cylinder." He gestured, and Darrin raised the aforementioned item.

"They deliberately avoided Lavi in most of their attacks save for a few Akuma who couldn't help themselves. I noted that from up in the control room. None of them paid special attention to Darrin, which is odd as that was my initial idea for a motive. Also, I do not believe that they had meant to kill Lavi or harm him. That spear was a last minute throw-in, if you'll pardon the pun -" Lavi lifted a hand to show no offense was given, chuckling painfully. "- and that means they were after something else."

Here, Bookman paused. He drummed his fingers on his chair's arm, thinking. There was more information than that, but only Bookmen paid attention. He'd lose them if he stated every iota pertaining to his theory.

"I think the Noah only want us to get moving, and they need Lavi or me to do the legwork. They mean for us to find this artifact for them because they know we will attempt to intercept them. That means, we must move under their noses," Bookman finally stated. The three looked at each other with drawn looks of skepticism. Bookman knew the evidence, at first blush, seemed scanty, but everything pointed to it. Lulu Bell hadn't tortured Lavi for information, not truly. Rather, she'd wanted to see how _much_ he knew, if he even knew anything, and how long it would take to break him. It didn't help that Lulu was quietly sadistic. There was a reason she'd chosen Mr. Naso (a man that Bookman had dealings with himself and had seen of his handiwork in the past); he could keep people alive while intimidating them painfully. Lavi had recovered in those days after being beaten and burned because those beatings and burns were meant to maximize pain rather than damage. Explaining this to Esperanza later over the phone had been difficult, and it was at that time that Bookman realized that something was really at work.

"How do we do that? I reck'n these Noah fellers ain't pushovers. Heck, they almost found me, and I'm sneakier'n a rat in the corn shed," Darrin said, leaning back in his chair with a creak.

"_Solo si tu no has bebido una botella de tequila primer,_" Esperanza muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes. Darrin gave her a dirty look.

"Focus," Lavi grumbled impatiently, and the two quit their momentary bickering.

Bookman nodded to his apprentice, and he continued, "I propose we head off on our next mission to Guatemala right away, as soon as Lavi is healed enough to move. Esperanza and I have already discussed travel agreements, and she says that she has friends of her mother's who can lead us along the Andean roads to Guatemala. Most of them are lesser used tracks, and we'll journey under the guise of a merchant family selling cloth up north. When we reach Colombia we'll get a brand new set of guides, but we'll still keep our pretenses. The Noah are crafty, and we have to be craftier. In the meantime, we'll figure _that _out." Bookman pointed to the cylinder in Darrin's hands, and Darrin shrugged its strap around his shoulders.

"When do you think we'll leave exactly?" Ricardo asked, curious. Bookman knew he was actually assigned to the trip as a researcher in Akuma oil and virus production on Bookman's request. Ricardo was horrible in a fight, but he had a keen mind and an even better heart. He would do well for Lavi and keep his mind occupied.

"Perhaps in the next week," Bookman estimated, and Lavi lurched forwards in surprise.

"A week! Are you trying to kill me?" Lavi despaired with a comical crack to his voice, and Bookman shook his head at his apprentice's theatrics.

"Well, tell the world, why don't you?" Bookman grumbled. "Yes. A week at the least. Now, no fussing. The rest of you - _keep this to yourselves. _The Noah have eyes and ears in the walls and the floor. Trust no one with this information. We need to be the only ones who are aware." The four nodded solemnly. With that, life began to turn somewhat back to normalcy almost immediately.

"Which means no liquor for you, Loose Lips," Esperanza said, looking pointedly at Darrin. The other man bristled.

"Hey, I ain't the one who talks in m'sleep about dear old _Laaaaaaviiiiii._" At the mention of his name, the apprentice raised both eyebrows at a darkening Esperanza.

"_Mentes descaradamente_."

"Lavi and 'Speranza, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s -" That's as far as he got before Esperanza punched him dead in the face.

Ah, the normality.

* * *

><p>Lavi stood in front of the mirror, staring. He watched his reflection as if it could tell him something, <em>anything, <em>about himself, about his condition, about some small inkling that was the root of all his problems. Of course, his reflection remained mum, and for that Lavi was grateful. To have his reflection talk back to him was to shun all mirrors for as long as he lived - Lavi wasn't sure just how much more he could take of the hallucinations, the random visitations, and the seething paranoia he'd been trying to bottle up. Now that Doug was part of his mind's arsenal of torture, he was always on his guard to ignore any of his appearances lest he encourage the apparition's intrusions. His bouts of memories had grown less, but his paranoia that he may slip into a memory had grown more. Thankfully his Bookman self had yet to make an actual appearance again, and Lavi took that as a sign of the truce between them - if one could have a truce with one's self.

His eyes took in his form, noting the changes. Unlike most people, Lavi could see the distinct differences in his own body from month to month, year to year. Bookman had once had him practice his capture of memories by having him stand in front of a mirror for five minutes and then having him do the same thing the next month before asking him what was different in each. He'd gotten very good at it, and what he saw now disturbed him.

He was half-clothed, naked from the waist up. A puckered, disgusting mass of stitched flesh ran down the right side of his sternum, skin bunched around tight stitches. He winced at it, realizing it would make for a very, very ugly scar to add to his large collection. His fingers lightly hovered over it before straying to his ribs. Each one stuck out, the bone visible beneath the skin. Even the pad of muscle around his rib cage could not hide the emaciated status of his body. If he had two mallets, he imagined he could use his ribs as a xylophone and become a human instrument. He chuckled at the idea but instantly regretted the action as his chest pulled and stung. His eye wandered to his neck and collarbone, noting how pronounced his clavicle was against the skin. His skin itself was pale, almost as pale as paper. Finally, his eye traced to his face. A hollow sunken eye staring out from shadow, his cheekbones defined against the landscape of skin, a thin nose, bluish lips, long red hair that was in need of a trim. His eyepatch was the only thing that had not changed.

There was a knock on the door, and Lavi turned around stiffly. Esperanza stood in the doorway, eyes averted to the ground, new Innocence already over her person. Lavi realized that their... understanding was still in effect. It always seemed that they had a buffer somewhere, though, either in the form of Darrin, or Ricardo, or Bookman, to help them keep that agreement in check. Here, alone, it was so much harder to act as if they were strangers to one another. Both of them kept their faces secure in a detached expression, not revealing anything of the roiling, confused masses in their minds. Esperanza finally looked up, and Lavi's lips pressed into a firm line.

"Yes?" he asked. From behind her, he could just glimpse Doug. His stomach flipped, and Lavi tried to push away the fear. During his impromptu surgery, Doug had been overseeing everything, looking down at Lavi in the midst of his utmost agony. His mind had not forgotten that association, and phantom pains lanced through his chest where his new sewn heart ached in the most literal way possible.

"Bookman sent me with something. He is still busy with arrangements for our departure," Esperanza said, her tone noncommittal. From her pants pocket, she pulled a small vial stoppered with a cork. Lavi frowned as he looked at the pills inside. She held it out to him, not daring to enter the bathroom as if she were a country unwilling to enter another's domain for fear of suggesting invasion. Lavi slowly walked over, carefully placing one foot ahead of the other. He was still shaky. It had only been four days. He'd just managed to walk again the day before, and he accomplished it with much difficulty. Still, it'd been at his behest that he get better quickly in order to continue their mission.

He took the vial from her, almost brushing her fingers, and in that moment the two locked eyes. Both recoiled ever so slightly from the near-touch as if each had been shocked in some way. Esperanza straightened in a stiff manner, coughing into her hand politely.

"Bookman told me they were... experimental and that he would tell you more about them later. For now, he says to take only one a day. They are to help with the..." Esperanza tapped her temple in allusion to his disposition. Lavi gave a polite smile, and he nodded. For a moment it seemed he would part ways with her without incident, but something stopped him. With her back turned, Lavi tried to put a finger on what was bothering him, and he suddenly said, "Wait!" Esperanza halted in her tracks.

In her first bout of wit in God knew how long, she said, "The last time you told me to wait, we were drunk and you kissed me. Are we about to have a repeat performance?" Lavi rolled his eye. He should've expected her to say something like that. He sighed, going over what he wanted to say in his head.

Finally, he said, "Thank you." Esperanza narrowed her eyes, looking wary. Lavi bit his lip as he looked off, feeling awkward.

"I... remember everything. Even the things I don't want to remember." _Like you sticking your fingers in my chest cavity and closing shut an artery,_ he added as a mental side note. Esperanza relaxed a little, and she scratched the back of her head. Modestly, she shrugged.

"_Es nada. Tu estas... mi amigo. _I could have done no different. It is my duty as your partner," Esperanza answered quietly, scuffing the floor. Lavi watched as an expression flitted across her face.

"She feels guilty," Doug said suddenly, and Lavi threw his gaze towards him. He wanted to speak back, but he refrained, hesitating. Esperanza noted his hesitation, and she asked, "_Amigo? __Hay problema?" _Lavi shook himself out of his reverie, but the phrase rung around in his head. Yeah... she had looked guilty about something. Feeling suspicious, Lavi shook his head.

"No. I just... wanted to tell you thank you. You've done a lot for me," he said, poking the topic again, analyzing her body stance and facial expression. Though she guarded her emotions and thoughts well, he could see it. Doug was right. She was looking away from him, and her eyes were drawn to a point to his left. Her stance was stiff and rigid. Something about this was giving her fits.

Could he trust her? What was the matter with her? He didn't like this.

"_Amigo?" _she asked suddenly, looking up. Blue eyes met green, but for some reason there didn't seem to be any connection. Lavi felt detached from her, and it appeared that she was the same from him.

"Yes?" Lavi answered back. Esperanza's expression stayed carefully indifferent. It was as if he were talking to an automaton. Momentarily, he was surprised. This was a higher level of defense than he'd ever seen. She was not just attempting to hide what she felt; if she was, he would be able to tell. Right now, she was _turning off _all of her emotions. He knew the trick himself, but he'd fallen out of practice. It wasn't something one could do for overly long periods of time unless one was trained... Which pulled up the question if maybe she _was _trained.

"I am not going with you on this trip. I am going to England, and I will not come back," Esperanza said, each word leaving her mouth deliberately. At first, it was quiet, and he felt absolutely nothing. The information had no worth, no connotation. However, it soon caught up to him, and he felt despair trickle in as he realized what was going on.

She was leaving. She was truly leaving. He was going to be alone. One of the few people who could understand and share his pain, gone to a far off place and leaving him _here. _Just like every other person in his life, she passing away like a spirit from a body.

Lavi felt himself shut down. He'd had too much of this emotional undulation. If she could play this game, so could he. Doug stared at the floor, almost looking disappointed.

"Why?" Lavi asked, feeling strangely hollow, as if someone had sucked his very essence from his body and deposited it in a far off place. Doug stared at him, shaking his head and mouthing 'no', but Lavi ignored him. Esperanza seemed to notice the difference in atmosphere, but her facial expression remained stone still.

"They want to study my Innocence, and I believe that I can find better tutelage in Europe. It is not safe for me to stay here with you. _Tu es... inestable. Incontrolable. Informal. Habria estado a detrimento de tu si soy aqui. Mis disculpas, amigo, pero... tu es no bueno para me._" Lavi blocked out each sting to his character. She had used the 'ser' verb, meaning that these things... they were inherent to his nature. It was a blow to his very character, not to mention the dig about his teaching and his mental state.

_"My apologies, friend, but... you are no good for me." _Lavi took all of this in carefully, cataloging this encounter with minute detail, remembering every moment and every facet of this conversation. Still, he wondered what was the cause of this. Why was she being so harsh? How could she be so insensitive?

"She's not done yet," Doug whispered quietly.

"So that's it? That's all you need to tell me?" Lavi asked, his tone sparking with indignation. Esperanza's mask slipped for a moment, but it was too fast a flash for him to tell what lay behind. She suddenly became steely, and she said, "No. That isn't. I could've saved you your heartbreak now and your mental decline later. I should've known better than to take a chance on you at Bookman's behest. It was beyond my skill level. He said to get close, close enough to see in your head. I did not expect you to become close in kind."

Lavi's eyes widened as the pieces began to fall together. The entire time... she had been working for Bookman. She'd been his _nanny. _She wasn't a student - she was a spy. She'd been watching him this entire time just for Bookman's sake. That meant... that everything she'd done, every minute of time they'd spent together had been carefully orchestrated.

The long nights on the phone suddenly came back to Lavi. He'd assumed she'd been speaking to family or the Order for instructions. In a way, she had been doing the latter, just not in a way that had ever occurred to him. Had... everything been a lie? Surely not... Not those trips to the pasta place, not the ice cream, not the near death they'd suffered, none of that...

"None of it was real?" he asked, quietly. Doug was curled up in a corner, watching the proceedings with wide, blue eyes. Esperanza had already begun to leave, her back turned to him. She stopped midstep, looking back over her shoulder from the corner of her eye. She deliberated... and then said, "My family is real. My story is real. My name and my face is real. But that was all. It would do best for you to forget this, if you can. _Adios, mi amigo falso. Espero que Destino va a ser mas amable a te. Lo vas a necesitar._"

"That doesn't make sense. How could you keep up a pretense for nearly four months?" Lavi asked, accusingly. It wasn't that it was impossible. Lavi knew how to live a lie. Not everyone could do it, especially one so rigid as Esperanza. She seemed so constant. To know that she could just _change _out of nowhere...

"You do not believe? Fine," she sighed. Esperanza turned to stare, and for a moment it was as if Lavi didn't even recognize her. In that moment, the usual expression of neutrality she had on her face was replaced by one of cruel emptiness, a strange blankness.

"I could walk into a school with my sister, convince them that I wanted to enroll her, and plant a bomb right under their noses, _mi amigo._ I did it nearly seven times. I can convince a man I have gone mad; it's how I stayed alive in prison. I can kiss and act like I love a person; that was how I could get to my targets. I can become enraged and create diversions, I can become stoic and not shed a tear, I can smile and be a good girl, I can despair over a body like a victim even if I am the murderer. It is not hard to fool people. Most are blind, as you know," she said placidly.

Lavi was speechless, feeling oddly calm. His heart beat regularly, and he was not slicked with sweat. He was not shivering. He was completely still, mulling all of this over. He had truly missed everything. Every cue, every sign that she'd been anything _but _the woman he'd traveled with for almost half a year, he'd missed all of them. He had had a second of doubt, and in that moment he'd actually felt _bad _about it. For a moment, he tried to review all the memories he had, take in every inkling and try to see the cracks, but he soon realized that it was no use caring about it - regardless, she'd be gone, and he'd never see her again. If what she said was true, she was not worth remembering. If she lied, she'd be out of his hair anyways. He would wash his hands of her in either fashion.

"I guess this is good bye, then," Lavi said, feeling like he'd been numbed to his core. Esperanza, for a moment, let her gaze tighten, and he thought that for a moment she looked sad. He dismissed that thought, retreating inside of himself. He could feel a melding of his mind, as if an understanding had been struck between himself and his Bookman self. The blow was hard, but that blow was like a welding torch, solidifying Lavi's resentment into cynicism.

Esperanza stared back, her face a sheet of clean, white paper. "I guess. Good bye."

She walked out the door with a calm walk, taking her time as Lavi watched her go. She never looked back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Aaaagh! It's almost been a month since I've last posted a chapter! Man, this year's been crazy. You'd think that towards the end of the year things would slow down. I feel like I've barely had time to catch my breath! Anyhow, here's the latest installment, and I hope you've enjoyed it. I know it's not as suspenseful as you guys would've liked it, but everything is, of course, integral to the plot. Mostly. It should be moving along after this week fairly quickly, but that depends on how God will dictate my time.

Thank you, thank you, thank _you _to aoraki (formerly IQ84), PrevalentMasters, and bellaXmonster for reviewing! Ah, I love getting reviews, and seeing just how much people love this story and how to make it better. That is, after all, my top priority - making this story the best it can be with every chapter.

That also means I thank my favoriteers for sticking their necks out by putting this on their favorites tab. Big kudos and love to bellaXmonster there!

So much thanks to aoraki for adding me to your subscribe list! Now you won't have to go and dig for this poor thing, haha.

And, of course, your favorite part, right? The discussion questions! _Did Esperanza's association with Bookman come as a shock? Why or why not? At least four Exorcists are needed for their current mission; who should go? Lavi's mental health has been on the decline - how do you expect him to react to Esperanza's departure? Now for something new; give a theme song for characters in the story! How in character has this section been? Are there any characters that you would like to see again? Are there any devices within the story that seem hackneyed or tired? After all the fight scenes, is this a good change of pace? _

And that's it for now! God bless you, and happy reading.


	25. Compromised

He stared out the window with an expression as blank as paper. He was no more than a ghost in this life, fading in and out of other's realities. He could be there one moment, and then he could be gone the next. His life was transient; his purpose was constant. His mind was calmer than it had been in months, a perfectly smooth consciousness that allowed for no cracks, no room for feeling. Others had taken notice, but he'd ignored them. Ricardo had asked questions, and he'd politely answered them with his usual wit and banter. Darrin had stared, and he had stared back. Bookman had even looked worried, but after a few days he had let the young man be.

His mind was a fortress. His heart was a stone. His past did not matter. He was merely the eyes and ears of history, writing down those hidden things that had happened for future generations' use.

And the debacle that was _her _would never happen again. He would not permit it. If that was what friendship and betrayal was worth, he was not willing to pay such a steep price. Bookman's lesson had been good and painful. It showed him just how close he was getting to these people. And after all, were they not only people?

"Lavi, are you alright? You sound... different." Lenalee's voice was full of questions. Memories flooded him, thoughts of her shaded with a strange film of indifference. She had always been a pretty girl. She was the closest to family he had, and yet he could not feel anything for her. He felt that if she had died on the spot right then, he could not have felt more for a rock.

Another splash of ink.

"I'm fine, Lena. There have been some difficulties, that's all. I'm just a tired," he answered back, keeping a frivolous air to his voice. He knew how to play the careless, flighty teenage boy. Doug meandered somewhere in the hall, and Lavi adjusted his grip on his bag. Lenalee had called only two hours before his departure. He had been annoyed that she'd called at such an inopportune time, but he guessed that couldn't be helped. They had talked for a little while, and Lavi was quickly growing bored with the conversation. She kept talking about people that they both knew, yet he no longer cared to know of them or their journeys. A small inkling of him sparked, yes, at the mention of Allen's name, a small pique of interest here at the drop of Kanda's name, but no more than gentle curiosity.

"Alright, if you say so. I can't wait to see you again, Lavi. It's so lonely here. I'm the only one around." Lavi didn't even have the capacity to summon sympathy. He himself had never liked to be alone, either, but he couldn't help but think she was whining. He sighed, and he said, "Of course, of course. Hey, I've got to run. Our ride leaves soon, and I need to beat the traffic." Lenalee was quiet for a bit before answering, "Okay. Goodbye, Lavi."

"Goodbye." He hung up quickly, not wanting to incur any further anecdotes or add-ons. He adjusted his cap over his hair, stuffing his bandanna in his pocket. He made a note to throw it away later and get something a little less... personal. He wanted to get rid of every piece of attachment he had to the Order. He was sick and tired of being stuck on them. One day he'd leave, perhaps even to live on the other side of the battle with the Noah. He couldn't just keep _friends. _Eventually they died. Eventually, they left.

Eventually, they betrayed you when you were no longer useful or you were no longer their mission.

A flash of anger burst within him at the memory of _her _stinging encounter. He was still quite bitter over it, but he was working on sanitizing that event as well, producing a clean document from which he could pull all information he needed without accidentally sullying the viewpoint with his own anger and confusion. Despite his efforts to clean up his mind and rid it of all extraneous emotional detail, he still suffered from synesthesia and the odd, ultra-vivid memory overtaking his entire being at random points of the day. Apparitions, including his Bookman self, walked the streets with him, though he had stolidly ignored them for quite a while. He still could not eat anything besides the blandest and scentless of foods. He could not walk the streets without a mask lest the smells send him reeling for an alleyway. It seemed that his emotional attachment truly did not have anything to do with his mental decline any longer.

It would not have mattered if _she _had been there. This would have happened regardless of her presence.

Lavi looked up at the group that was preparing to leave. Darrin stood off to the side, sulking. Lavi had told him the bare bones of what had happened between himself and that girl, and he'd added some other things to boot just to manipulate Darrin off course. The old, cantankerous fellow, of course, had been less than receptive. Though he acted angry and disgruntled, it was all too plain to Lavi that Darrin was more hurt than anything else by her departure and subsequent 'reprisals' against him. _  
><em>

Bookman had his own suitcase ready, along with Ricardo. The older man looked up at Lavi with the same blank look, though Lavi did note that there seemed to be a bit of worry etched in the lines around his eyes. Lavi himself did not feel much for Bookman any more. He had meant to teach Lavi a lesson, and he'd taught him more than one.

More than anything, Lavi had learned he could trust no one, not even his own mentor. Everyone was suspect. Nobody was safe. Even if he had meant no harm to Lavi himself, Bookman had wounded his trust.

Ricardo was nothing more than an accessory. By all accounts, he should not be going. In fact, Lavi had told Bookman so, and Bookman had been taken off guard. Ricardo's original purpose was to study _her _Innocence in action, but now that she was in England under supervision of the CROW and Central's goons, his entire reason for being on this trip was null. He was a funny character to have along for lighthearted conversations and pithy comments, but he was a load on the team. He would do no good to them.

And then, finally, their last two compatriots.

"Lavi, is there something the matter?" Allen asked. The young white-haired Exorcist had volunteered for the ride. Behind him, Link scribbled in his notebook, taking his usual plethora of notes. Lavi himself had looked at those notes, and he'd noted they were incredibly sloppy and third rate. Lavi slapped on a smile, his eye crinkling self-consciously as he said, "Nah, I'm just a little winded. Getting a shaft through the heart apparently does a number on your ability to speed walk." Allen smiled back, though the redhead could see doubt on his face.

Allen and Link's presence was to make up for _her _sudden departure from the mission. Originally, he'd been in America investigating swamp lights on Brown Mountain. Seeing as their search had been inconclusive, they were the only ones available for this mission. Lavi didn't mind Allen's help, but of all his 'friends', he'd been attached to Allen the most, perhaps. Still, he was careful to keep him at arm's length now, knowing it would be too easy to fall into bad habits again. They began the long walk to the outskirts of the city, not risking a cab. Bookman split up with Darrin and Ricardo while Lavi went with Allen and Link. Their trek was mostly quiet and uneventful, footsteps falling on damp pavement as the sky threatened more drizzle.

Suddenly, Lavi stepped into another memory, this one more recent. Around him, he could see Crowley's array of tasteless sculptures, ranging from grotesque gargoyles to strange, mythological beasts of a Hellenistic style. He was holding a cross, some garlic, and his hand was itching towards his hammer. Remembered anxiety and adrenaline sent phantom sparks through his system. Allen stood not ten feet away, thumb throbbing from a recent bite for their soon-to-be comrade, Crowley. The memory was met with a mixture of fondness and disdain. It was so trite and maudlin.

Everything from this memory was so clear, though! Ah, even in the midst of his madness, he could enjoy the clarity and superiority of his ability to remember events such as these! He could feel the garlic at his neck, smell its crisp freshness, and savor the night air as it whistled between the statues like a nymph on a wing. The night sky... he could look up, freeze the moment, and tell what time of year it was just from the constellations, even the exact time from the position of the stars. More easily, he could just pull his wrist up and look at his watch, but that was no challenge. His mind, even as a broken thing, was such a wonderful toy that he could manipulate as he willed.

And then, he stepped back into the present almost seamless, Allen saying something to him, concern etched into his features. Doug fell in step with Allen, staring at Lavi with unabashed fright. Even his Bookman self was nowhere to be found, presumably hiding within the recesses of his psyche.

"Lavi, you just blanked out. What was that?" Allen asked, clearly worried. Gray eyes tried to trace the emotions of his face, and Lavi played the slightly surprised man who hadn't realized he'd just been stuck in his own personal reality.

"Oh, just a daydream. I manage to do it so vividly that I completely forget where I am!" Lavi lied smoothly with a crooked smile, a mischievous gleam in his eye carefully engineered to throw Allen a bone. Poor guy was so worried about him. Lavi really had to work on distancing himself from the kid. It would be better all around for them if he did. Allen was already fragile as it was, given his Noah side and all that jazz. Lavi himself didn't really care too much about that. Allen was Allen; the Fourteenth was the Fourteenth. Both were cogs in the war machine, though bigger, more connected cogs than most. Lavi had to be careful to remember that he wasn't part of the war machine at all. He was no cog, nor a screw, nor an engine; if anything, he was the manual, dictating how the war machine worked, a separate entity all on its own.

"Oh... well, be careful then, Lavi. I thought you'd run into a pole or something like that. I know how you hate to screw up your face," Allen quipped cheekily, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Link sniffed at the notion, and Lavi only laughed. Out of the corner of his good eye he could see that Allen had looked up abruptly. He was more observant of people than most, obviously. It had not taken him long to realize that Lavi had changed significantly. His laugh even sounded a little bit hollow, more forced than usual. They continued to walk in silence, neither bothering to say a word.

Seeing as that woman had arranged their departure and subsequent travel plans, they were traveling with friends of the Order as well as those of her mother. The trip would supposedly take them four months, but changes had been made as soon as Allen had been tacked on to the trip. His ability to use the Ark as a shortcut had been extremely useful. Luckily, Allen had been to Havana, Cuba with his master under some dubious circumstances, and from there they could sail straight to Guatemala, their chosen destination. Their travel time had been cut down to only a month rather than four, and their supplies had been considerably whittled down as well.

They split up for purposes of stealth. Each was to arrive at a certain point by a different way, each of them coming from a different direction. Bookman had wanted them to fly under the radar, and so they'd also left the building from different points as well in civilian clothes. Allen stuck out like a sore thumb with his white hair and clean, pressed clothes, but at the least he was wearing a cap to hide the stark white of his hair. Link was also less noticeable in his dark coat and standoffish air. Lavi had opted for the minimal, wearing a long coat over a cotton shirt, loose pants, and boots. Within an hour, Allen had arrived at the target destination and had discreetly opened an Ark Gate in an alley.

One by one they went in, each at a different time. Lavi made sure that he was last, savoring this final moment in Sao Paulo. Despite the poor memories he'd had here, the city itself was a nice place, if it didn't rain so much. Lavi said his final goodbye, and he stepped into the white light of the portal.

Inside, he quietly marveled at the white architecture of the Mediterranean style houses within the Ark. Brightly he remembered wandering around these streets, looking for the Exorcist that stood at the other end of the street, patiently waiting for him. Ah, Allen was the pinnacle of human politeness, it seemed. It almost changed Lavi's mind on the matter of the human ability to feel and appreciate others.

But he had too much experience to truly put too much stock into that. Even those he still held those inklings, those frequent bright flashes of hope, he kept them doused with a heavy dose of cynicism and aching bitterness.

_You got too close once. You don't want to do it again. _

"So, what's happened since you've been in Argentina and Brazil? I didn't get to hear much, honestly, other than the bare bones," Allen asked in his high end accent, enunciating every word carefully with that British ring. He truly was the picture of a gentleman. Lavi laughed quietly to himself as he wondered at the oxymoron that presented, given Allen's background as an orphan. Dickens had something going for him in Oliver Twist, obviously. He wouldn't be surprised if Allen was his inspiration.

"Nothing much. The Noah were inadvertently poisoning a river, and that tipped us off. Lulu's been collaborating with some fellow thugs in the area to smooth things along and cover it up, but she did a messy job of it. If I didn't know better, I'd say that she did it deliberately to get our attention," he stated, shrugging while modestly scratching the back of his head. Their footsteps were clipped and quietly muffled in the wide, open areas of the Ark. Ahead of them, Link, Bookman, and Ricardo went on ahead. Behind the younger Exorcists, Darrin continued to shuffle along, perhaps to grumble to himself or gawk at the mystical structure in which he stood.

"Ah. And you found the canister, and you suspect the Noah were after it?" Allen asked, nodding ever so politely in Darrin's direction. Lavi looked back and nodded, smiling beatifically. Darrin had taken that woman's scoldings a little hard. Of course, it'd been fabricated, partly perhaps for Lavi's own internal amusement as well as to distance Darrin from her as well. He could've been a bit gentler, he guessed. Darrin had definitely stopped talking to Bookman, only to mutter the bare minimum in regards to the canister that was ever present on his back.

"Yeah. Bookman's already unraveled the riddles on it. Coincidentally enough, one of the riddles might have to do with Guatemala, which I'm not entirely surprised about," Lavi stated blandly, looking off. They were nearing the next gate. Allen frowned, and he asked, "What are the riddles on the canister?" Lavi folded his hands behind his back as he recounted what Bookman had told him. These riddles were rough translations, and Bookman was still smoothing them out, but for the most part they were translated well enough to be usable.

" 'Find the point where the sun and moon kiss. Ask the Feather Snake for a scale made of light. Plumb the depth of a lake of tears. Fill the basin of the Hummingbird with the water of life. Search the stars above Viracocha's face,'" Lavi recited, recalling each word perfectly. He himself had had to work on the translation, and it was a clever little ditty. Still, it sounded more like an errand list than a way of cracking the canister. Allen looked just as perplexed.

"What does that have to do with anything. None of that makes any sense," Allen stated.

"Now, if it made sense, it wouldn't be a riddle, would it?" Lavi noted, and Allen chuckled. Of course, he was right. The redhead stopped in front of the door that was to their next destination, and he looked behind him at Darrin. The man was no longer gawking or mumbling, merely holding the canister in his hands and running his fingers over the dials.

"She's really gone, ain't she?" Darrin grumbled. Before Allen could ask, Lavi stated, "Think of it this way - she's out of our hair. We don't need to worry about her any more." Despite all his hard work in keeping a callous around his heart, Lavi could still feel that wound simmer and fester. He was still angry. It would be a while before he could handle those memories without marring them with the hot sting of his fury.

Havana was bright and sunny and clear where Sao Paulo was not. Their footsteps echoed along the alleyway's cobblestones, and Lavi was surprised to find himself admiring the work of human hands. The buildings were towering, and their structures were magnificent. He usually enjoyed architecture, but this most definitely tickled his fancy.

"Shoot, this place's fancier 'n a hippo wearin' a tutu on a fount'n," Darrin muttered under his breath. Allen laughed, and he stated, "It is a very nice city. Even while I was here, Master..." Suddenly, Allen fell quiet, and Lavi felt a spike of concern that escaped his well formed walls of indifference. Allen, though belligerent towards his Master's treatment, had also been attached to Cross in that way a son is strangely attached to his father despite their awkward relationship. His passing and disappearance had rattled him more than he liked to say. Lavi knew that the circumstances under which he'd disappeared were... telling.

"Well, we enjoyed ourselves. Him more than me, obviously, considering I was washing dishes trying to pay everything off," Allen added in a begrudgingly fond grumble, and Darrin slapped a hand on Allen's back.

"Eh, 'at's the way a' some fellers, ain't it? Booze and women," Darrin stated in his American drawl, and Lavi scoffed, "Like you can say anything. One of the first things you asked for when you got to Sao Paulo was 'Where's the cathouse and the bar? I'm thirsty.'" Darrin spluttered at the accusation as Lavi smiled smugly.

"Will you jabberjaws keep up? We're going to miss our ship," Bookman shouted over his shoulder, Link falling back in order to keep an eye on Allen. It appeared that while Allen and Lavi had had their conversation, Link and Bookman had conferred with each other also. Lavi didn't need to be a genius to understand what their topic was probably about.

They walked through the bustling city of alabaster and sandstone towards the wharves. A large seawall ran along the beaches, the docks a very long way off. He could hear the sea lapping against the gravel beaches, and the sound was calming. Like any wharf, these smelled like seaweed, decaying matter, and salt. Darrin sniffed at it in distaste while Lavi sucked in the smell with a great sigh. The stench had its own brand of nostalgia. Synesthesia soon followed, and Lavi had to fight to keep command of his breakfast, but he didn't care too much. It wasn't as strong as it had been with blood or gunpowder, and he only tasted the odd flavor of salted pork, dry biscuits, and ale as well as a mix of different sensations. Lavi remembered lots and lots of trips to the sea

_the sea beckoned his mother as she stared into the dark waters. The wind whipped her hair back and forth as she stood with damp feet, her eyes clearly elsewhere as the songs of gulls fought to be heard over the crash of waves. The sky was so, so blue, bluer than his mother's eyes, bluer than a robin's egg, and he ran after her, trying to reach her, trying to persuade her to come home because dinner wasn't cooked yet and he was hungry. She got like this sometimes. She'd stare into the sea for so long he worried she might suddenly lose herself in it. She had those moments were she was beyond reach, where the darkness within her face seemed to swallow her up and transform his Mam into this creature of utter despair and self-loathing _

Lavi was suddenly jerked back into the present. He found himself staring out at the sea in an oddly high position above the ground. He turned back to look over his shoulder to see Allen and Link were staring at him in disbelief. Bookman's face was dark. Darrin muttered, "Maybe ye should take a breather from this here trip, son..." Lavi realized that he was standing on the sea wall, one foot almost hanging off. Dark water splashed. How far had he wandered off in his head? He... he hadn't meant to...

Fear lanced through him as he realized how close he must've been to walking off the wall. He flexed his fingers, reaching for the hammer in its holster at its side as if grasping for a security blanket.

"Lavi, we turn our backs for a second and... we only... Lavi, what's the matter?" Allen asked, voice close to quivering. His face was filled with concern as Lavi climbed off the wall, dusting himself off. Lavi knew he couldn't lie now. No matter how smoothly he spun his tale, there was no denying he'd just came mere feet from almost killing himself.

_God punishes thieves and liars. _

And Lavi had lied a lot.

"I'll explain on the boat," he stated.

* * *

><p>"So that's what you've been doing this entire time? Losing your mind!" Allen asked incredulously. Lavi almost winced out of habit at Allen's angry indignation. In fact, he nearly felt guilty for keeping it from him. After all, he was a frie-<p>

He immediately stopped that train of thought. It was hard enough explaining all this. Eventually he'd have to explain the... other ground rules, too. That would be even more painful, but then again pain was only what he allowed himself to feel. He could block out, but there was still a small part of him that _wanted _to feel. It was definitely a minority, but it still existed. He squashed it, nevertheless.

"Lavi, why didn't you _say _anything? You should be at the Order, right now, going to a therapist! Have you ever thought of that?" Allen said, pacing up and down the length of their small cabin restlessly. Link, who was sitting in a hammock, idly added, "On that note, I have to agree with Walker there. As you are, you could be a possible danger to yourself and others."

"I've been getting better," Lavi argued. He'd only been on that medication for a few days. The effects had yet to truly kick in. At first, everything had felt muted for a while but he'd gotten used to it, and now he was taking them regularly. He suspected that they truly were helping him fight off the schizoid tendencies he had. Besides, it really was no business of theirs. He contained his anger, keeping as objective as he possibly could bear.

"Jumping off a seawall is getting _better? _How were you before?" Allen asked, his face the picture of disbelief and worry. Lavi's facial expression immediately fell into one of careful neutrality as he thought about his hallucinations and other such problems in the weeks following his arrival to Sao Paulo. Allen noted the difference in Lavi's gaze, and he sighed apologetically._  
><em>

"Do you know what's been causing these symptoms? What is the root of this sudden illness?" Link asked in clipped, official tones. Lavi couldn't help but notice the clinical, unfettered stare he used, recognizing it as a tool that he himself employed. Did he truly look like that when he examined another...? Lavi bowed his head so he was staring into his lap. Stay objective. He needed to stay objective. He had kept it up for so long. These people didn't understand. They didn't know that this was the burden that came from remaining a clean, sound piece of living recorder, the effects of a sanitized, breathing chronicle. He was both the studied and the student, document and document taker, chronicle and chronicler. He couldn't let these people get in the way of delivering information without the blush of human emotion or subjectivity. Yet... it was so hard. Even in the light of this last, blatant emotional trial storm, it was so hard not to reach out to Allen and tell him everything he'd been feeling these past six months.

"It's because I have been compromised. I... feel for other people, specifically within the Order. I, uh, I am conflicted. It is against the Bookman code to create attachments towards any one side of a war. It is... unprofessional," Lavi stated blankly, his voice devoid of inflection. "I compartmentalize my mind in order to keep everything orderly and to stay detached from each war. I've been shirking lately. All of my memories have suddenly started to affect my waking life. The stress of staying unbiased as well as staying alive, dealing with... with friends who die or leave..." It was awkwardly quiet for a while.

"We're the ones causing you to lose your mind?" Allen asked, sitting down on the hammock Link occupied. It creaked, and Lavi looked up almost guiltily. He had tried so hard to keep everyone at arm's length. They had seeped into his heart, though. Even now, it was hard to keep the pretense separate from the actual feelings he held. He had been doing so well... He'd had other episodes before the one on the sea wall, ones that he didn't want to talk about where he'd woken up in the oddest places and had seen the strangest things. In a way, he still felt contempt for the two men sitting across from him because they were human. He was human, too, though. And he knew what it was to be human. Perhaps that was the entire problem.

"Yes," Lavi said bluntly. He looked up at Allen to find pained gray eyes, and he shrugged.

"I'm not supposed to like you. I'm not supposed to care if you live or die. To me... to me, all you are is another pawn on the game board, and I'm just writing down the moves you make. I wasn't supposed to get attached. It's a Bookman tendency to start to go a little..." He swirled a finger by his ear to denote his instability, and Allen took another breath, twiddling his thumbs. His Innocence-laden right hand was black and eerie as always, but the sight of it made Lavi feel better for some reason. Perhaps it was because it had become such a familiar sight, especially seeing as he associated it with Allen. He suddenly realized he was slipping back into that habit, linking emotions to a person or a thing. Immediately, he snuffed it. Allen, as he'd said, was another pawn. And sometimes pawns needed to be sacrificed in order to win the bigger game. He had to remember that.

"Is there any way we can help?" Allen asked with resolve, and they stared at each other. Lavi leaned back in his seat, the chair creaking as the bolted legs strained against the floor. He took a deep breath, staring at the ceiling.

"I'm not sure. I was hoping that I could just keep you all at a safe distance so I could just catch my breath, but then you had to go and volunteer," Lavi said, almost fondly, as he jabbed a finger in Allen's direction. The white-haired Exorcist groaned, looking off in a sheepish fashion as he rubbed his neck. Link closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, and Lavi smiled softly at the two.

He'd missed being with friends. Still, his heart felt fragile, in more ways than one. He didn't know if he could still trust them. It was a strange predicament he found himself in. He was still closing off his mind and heart to them, yet he couldn't help but try and save that spark. He suddenly stood up, and he stated, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving, ne? Allen, I know you must be hungry. Let's go to the galley and get something to eat." Allen looked up in surprise, and he suddenly smiled. He nodded and followed the tall redhead out the door.

As he tread down the hallway, Lavi let himself think about her for the first time in days. He was still angry. More than angry, he was outright furious. Yet, at the same time...

_Smell of sunlight_

_A ghost of a smile_

_Scars over a blue eye_

...he couldn't help but remember that at one point he had been friends with her. Even if it had all been an act on her part, some small portion of him recognized that he had thought she was a friend. However, he wasn't about to let his own feelings sully reality. He couldn't slant his version of the truth for his own benefit. Besides, she was thousands of miles away, now, and they'd never meet again. What was the point of being angry? What was the point of remembering her with fondness? What was the point with keeping _any _attachments?

"A penny for your thoughts? You look like you're getting lost in your own head," Allen stated, catching up to Lavi's long legged stride. Lavi snapped out of his thoughts, and he immediately shielded his emotions. Better to dull them than to let them take over. Perhaps, of all of them, he could keep Allen as a friend, or whatever was closest thereof. More than anything, a confidante at the least. He stared at the ceiling as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm think about... well, my last partner," Lavi admitted truthfully. As he passed by, he noted all of the other sailors with disdain. All of them, smelly, stinky, travel-worn men with nothing on their minds besides liquor and loose women, feh. Still, in a lot of ways these sailors were like Bookmen. They held no attachments to anyone but their own. They never stopped traveling, and they went where ever the wind may take them. The only difference was that a sailor had no emotions to hide or memories to control.

"Your last partner? You mean the woman with the scars over her eye," Allen stated innocently. Lavi lifted both eyebrows in surprise.

"How'd you know that?" Lavi asked incredulously. He hadn't said anything about her since she'd left. He couldn't even think her name, he was still so angry at her. He was still trying desperately to forget her as well, though 'forget' in a way only a Bookman knew how. Allen smiled sadly.

"I was sent to retrieve her from the Ark room when she arrived. She told me that you were her last partner and to be careful. She was very distant about it. She definitely didn't want to talk more about it because she walked right on ahead and went to the Science Department without another word," Allen stated, and Lavi felt a pang. She hadn't even said anything else about him. All she'd done was explain who she was and left. That was typical of her. A minimalist to the last, he guessed.

"You miss her," Allen stated frankly. Lavi shrugged.

"Maybe a little. She wasn't really my friend. It was an act on her part, for Bookman," Lavi explained succinctly, and Allen looked surprised at the mention of duplicity.

"Is that why you've been so distant? She hurt you?" Allen asked, a slight tinge of anger coloring his voice. Lavi didn't deign to answer. They reached the galley, and Allen suddenly said, "We would never hurt you, Lavi. You know that. It wouldn't even cross our minds -"

"Even if it was the right thing to do?" Lavi asked over his shoulder as he walked in. Allen looked stunned, but he quickly deflated as he answered, "There would be another way. Lavi, you don't need to hold us away from you. We can help."

"The only real way you can help is to leave me be," Lavi sighed, suddenly tired. He walked into the bustle of the galley, leaving Allen to trail in his wake. Not far behind, beyond their line of sight, Link followed them with a keen eye and ear. These Exorcists were interesting, confusing sorts.

* * *

><p>Dinner had been a rather depressing fare of salted pork, biscuit, and weak tea, just like Lavi remembered from his time on ships. He'd been in more than one naval battle. Allen had inhaled his helping, and he'd even gone after Link's after the man had pushed his away down the table. Darrin didn't look like he minded too much either, chewing straight through his dinner and putting his plate in danger of being eaten as well. Ricardo had gotten seasick almost immediately, and he refused to leave his room. Lavi couldn't blame him - his first time on a ship, he'd hugged the toilet for two days straight.<p>

Remembering brought a splash of nausea over him, and the combination of foul smelling pork, brine, and sweaty men sent Lavi running for a bathroom. Somewhere in the distance, he could swear he heard a woman laughing at him, but he dismissed that as another auditory hallucination.

As of late, he'd been getting auditory hallucinations to supplement the visual ones. His paranoia had also peaked over the past twenty four hours, and he'd been fighting it for a while. He glanced at the pills in his hand, and he decided to take two instead of just one. It didn't seem that the smaller dose was doing him any good. Besides, it was just one more. He could always adjust his intake.

The trip started off smoothly enough. Lavi slowly got into the habit of walling off his emotions from the rest of himself, which became easier as the medication he'd been prescribed finally seemed to do its work. He kept his facade of cheerfulness around Darrin, Ricardo, and Allen, but to Allen's discerning eye he could tell that Lavi was still trying to keep them at a safe distance. All five of them spent a lot of their time playing card games like rummy, go fish, bridge, and poker.

Lavi and Link were smart enough to sit out the poker games. Ricardo soon learned that playing poker with Allen was asking to get stomped. Darrin himself could actually keep up with Allen for quite a while in the game, but eventually even his expertise at bluffing and cheating reached its limit long before Allen gave up.

"Aw, come on, guys. Just another hand. I swear, I'll play fair!" All in attendance groaned as Allen begged for one more game of poker. Bookman only chuckled in bemusement. Lavi looked up at the old man in surprise. Bookman wasn't one given to laughter. The old man was contentedly chewing on his tobacco pipe, reading several different books at once. Darrin's cylinder was sitting next to him, the brass case allowing him to keep within a relatively long distance from the old man for a little bit. Lavi walked over, and he asked, "What's so funny, Gramps? You're not one to go and start a riot." Bookman looked up sardonically.

"I can laugh if I wish, Apprentice. Old age has granted me that much." Lavi chuckled at that, and he took a seat next to Bookman as the rest of the entourage played a hand of rummy at the small table in Bookman's cabin. The old man had booked one with an actual table, a bathroom all on its own, and a series of bunk beds for Ricardo and Darrin. It was nowhere near plush, but it was definitely better than Lavi's cabin with its lone chair and three hammocks.

"I have noticed that you've grown anxious, Apprentice," Bookman noted, flipping the pages of two of his books. Lavi had seen him read seven books at once. The man's ability to absorb and store knowledge surpassed Lavi's own by so much. He could only hope to aspire so far. His powers of observation were even more so. Lavi sighed, and he admitted, "I've been paranoid. Of everything. It seems I jump at shadows." He watched as Darrin lost this round of rummy and threw down his cards in a huff.

"You have been falling into bad habits again, as well," Bookman grumbled under his breath, and Lavi gave a mirthless laugh. He rubbed his face, suddenly feeling tired. It appeared that one of the side effects of the medication was fatigue. Lately he couldn't seem to get enough sleep. That might be the lull of the ocean waves, though. Lavi had always felt comfortable on the water.

"Apprentice, you are not the only one struggling with attachment. I myself have grown on the Order. They have always been a kindhearted, if slightly radical, group of people. Very dedicated towards their cause, you see, and entirely welcoming," Bookman said, flipping yet another three pages. Lavi just sat and listened.

"Be careful who you choose for friends, young one," Bookman added. "I only ask you guard your heart." Lavi was surprised by this sudden turn of conversation.

"A Bookman can't have friends," Lavi stated. Bookman looked down at Lavi with an almost bemused look, and he shrugged.

"Technically, no. But connections... connections are not always bad," Bookman stated. "Sometimes they are useful. Just guard your heart. All we ever do is guard our heart." Lavi chewed this over, sitting cross-legged on the ground.

"I'll keep that in mind," Lavi said.

* * *

><p>AN: I apologize. This chapter is a little bit of a filler. The plot _is _moving ahead, albeit at a snail pace. With the advent of summer, I'm glad to say I now have much more free time on my hands, which means more time to write! I'll be experimenting with some new writing styles and such as well, along with plot devices, the like. Remember to tell me how you like it!

Big thanks to PrevalentMasters and Indiahenna for their input on the story! Also, just to brag on her a bit, go to Indiahenna's profile and read 'Heat Wave', the little oneshot she's got there. I rather enjoyed it, and I think those who like Chasing After The Wind might like it as well for its humor. After all this gloom and doom, we need a little cheering up, right?

Muchos kudos to Indiahenna for putting this on her subscribe list as well. Oh how I love new subscribers.

Finally! Las preguntas discursos! (Isn't it strange to see Spanish _not _in italics?): _Esperanza is quite obviously absent from the story - how do you feel about that? Was the decision to use Allen as the next 'foil' a good choice or no? Was there anyone else you'd had in mind originally? Are you looking forward to seeing what the riddles mean? Did this chapter evoke any sort of emotion or feeling in general? What is your take on Lavi's current mental state? Is there anything I need to change? This chapter is quite short in comparison to recent chapters - is that good or bad?_

That is all I have for today, so God bless you and happy reading!


	26. Were It Not That I Have Bad Dreams

He woke up because someone was shaking him. It took him a few moments to realize that, not only was someone shaking him, he was hitting the person shaking him with balled fists, angry, frightened, desperate. He took in giant heaves of air, as if he'd been drowning seconds before, unbeknownst that he had been lying in water until the moment someone dragged him from peaceful slumber.

No. It was far from peaceful slumber. Fragments came back to him, readily, like splinters of glass under his fingernails as he scrabbled to remember what it was that had stirred him to such agitation. _Red hot metal, so many bruises, a single slick of blood on an apron, a bowler derby, dark glasses hiding amber eyes..._

"Are you... alright?" Allen gasped, collapsing to his knees by the side of the bed. The white-haired boy had a new contusion forming at the corner of his forehead, high in his hairline but just enough that he could see the redness in the dim lighting. He had turned on a lamp in the hotel room. He was in his pyjamas, obviously just roused from sleep. He had a puffiness to his face, possibly from just waking up, and bags hung under his eyes, as Allen had received little sleep on the boat ride from Havana to Guatemala. The heaving ship had more than once thrown the Englishman into nausea spells that threatened to keep him awake for hours on end while Lavi slept like a log in his hammock- except during those periods where nightmares infested his sleep like insistent rats.

Such was this night. The apprentice recollected himself, putting his head on his knees, which were propped up. He hugged his knees with his arms, trying to keep his composure, but that ultimately showed signs of failure as a knot formed in his throat, a ball of spiky clay forced down his gullet.

"Fine," was all he was willing to say. He had no need nor wish to burden Allen. The kid had enough on his mind, and Lavi was supposed to be keeping his distance as it was. Spilling his guts would not help the 'detachment' strategy in any way, shape, or form. He'd grown fond of the bright-eyed fool, and he hated himself for it. When he finally had to leave, it would be like snipping each successive ligament of endearment with surgical precision and a lack of any kind of social anesthetic. Yet, he couldn't bear distance himself.

Now that he had finally been treated as a human, _loved, _he'd been made real. Through the catalyst, no, the _reagent _of affection, he had been transformed from a shell of a person into a fully grown, undeniable entity separate from the histories of the world, from his clan, from the blank, cold realities of paper and ink. It was breaking him as much as it was building him. It was a beautiful dichotomy, a cycle of destruction and rebirth.

He was now a cog in the war machine, inextricable and integral. There would be no backing out now. He understood this, finally, and it ate at his heart as well as nourished it.

He looked at Allen, who had refused to leave.

"Do you... want to talk about it?" Allen asked quietly, getting up from his knees. He hesitated, but then he finally sat on the edge of the bed, knees almost bumping the bed adjacent to Lavi's own.

Their hotel was small. In fact, it was almost pillbox sized. There was a single nightstand, just enough room for two valises, and two beds, one on either side of the room, with a scant three feet between the beds. Bookman and Darrin shared a room, both making a joyous symphony of snores on the floor above, their nasal tones drifting through the ceiling now and again. Much to Link's displeasure, he was rooming with Ricardo rather than Allen, due to... extenuating circumstances with the receptionist. Allen and Lavi had decided it best to room together, if just to catch up on old times and report to each other the things they had missed.

That was how they passed the night, telling stories of their adventures. Allen had been chasing ghost lights in America while Lavi had been busy in the desert, but Lavi was careful to censor some of his tales, to keep out any mention of _her. _Allen noticed, but he made no remark. Lavi could see it in the slight twitch of concern whenever Lavi would pause briefly to think of a way to reword or circumvent events that had happened with _her _intervention or input. Eventually, it came down to Allen talking the night away, Lavi blearily muttering affirmation now and again before drifting to sleep.

Only to wind up in a hellhole of his own making, submerged and drowning.

"I don't... know, just..." Lavi said slowly, sitting his chin on his knees. He stared at the far wall, a sad thing covered meekly in printed wallpaper that peeled from the humidity. The moon illuminated the print, little flowers that marched aimlessly across a beige expanse.

"Is this about these?" Allen asked, pointing to Lavi's arm. He looked down at it, noting the hair on his forearms had yet to lay back down. There was a scar, perhaps the thickness of his pinkie finger, no longer an angry puce but a dulled, silvery pink. The skin around it was tight, crinkled almost. Lavi looked at Allen, and at that moment knew he'd been outed. Allen's eyes were discerning, gray spotlights. Taking a shuddering breath, he looked away. He should have known Allen would have figured it out.

It was yet another thing he'd tried to hide, so so hard. He didn't wish to stir up those memories, not just because of the scars that were barely healed but because of the mental repercussions thereof. A word, a sound, a smell could trigger them, even the memory of those things, or the memory of a memory. He had no wish to be in that place again. Just the shadow of the thought turned his stomach, and he wrapped his arms around his middle.

"If you talk about it, perhaps you'll feel better," Allen suggested gently, patting Lavi's foot.

Lavi shut his eyes, and he shook his head.

"Allen, I don't think you understand."

"What is it that I don't understand, then?"

"I..."

Lavi found it hard to explain. He'd tried to tell Allen about the episodes he had, the strange switches between reality and the world of memory. He had the feeling that, though Allen comprehended what he was saying, he didn't fully grasp the sheer immensity of realness his memories posed. Lavi could remember the fine, ridged layers of paint on a tea cup from Paris three years ago in his memories, such was the depth of his recollections. He had been trained to grab and keep the smallest of details, and he was able to recount everything he had done for the past ten to twelve years. Allen would have no idea what sort of stress or joy or pain that would entail, and he definitely wouldn't understand the gravity of his memory world...

But perhaps he could try. Allen was... a connection. And connections could be useful. He just had to guard his heart.

Yet a house divided cannot stand.

"I don't want to... disappear into my head again. You remember that time, when I was standing on the seawall?" Lavi asked, his voice oddly flat and gravelly, obviously exhausted, emotionally if not physically.

"I don't think I'd be likely to forget," Allen admitted with a dark chuckle.

Lavi smiled for a split second, and Allen saw, for a moment, the smile that Lenalee and Kanda Yuu had first seen when Lavi had first appeared, an empty smile, hollow and ringing with insincerity.

It frightened him.

"I was in a memory. I was lost in the memory, and my body continued walking around, almost on autopilot. I don't know why I was on the seawall, though. My body does what it will when I'm... stuck up here," Lavi explained in more detail, tapping his temple. He stared at his feet, twitching his toes beneath the sheets. Allen shifted, the sound of sheets softly rustling. The moonlight was dim, but it bathed everything a strange shade of light blue. He remembered how _she _would sit by him, when these nightmares assailed him. She _made _him talk. But she had _suenos _of her own.

"And the memories are very very real. So my dreams are... also very real," Lavi muttered, flexing a single hand against his side. He dared not look at Allen, in case he gave away an emotion or betrayed his affections. Allen was a cog, just another cog, a cog that Lavi had to record, one that was very likely to die in the war to come, and Lavi would have to treat his passing with as much, or little, deference as every death he'd ever jotted down. Just another splash of ink.

A special splash of ink, though. He was beginning to see the special splashes of ink now. Komui. Lenalee. Even Johnny Gill. Ink of so many different colors, but ink to be spilled, he had to remember...

"I was tortured, so I retreated. Up here," Lavi admitted, the words seeming to be pulled out of his mouth like teeth. He tapped his temple again, fidgeting. He could hardly hold still some days, though that wasn't a new thing. Yet, this was an anxious sort of movement borne of paranoia rather than excitement or energy.

"Like with Rhode," Allen said.

Lavi smiled again, that hollow small smile.

"Yeah. Well, more like the inverse. My outsides were fine, and my insides... not so fine," Lavi chuckled, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

Allen's brow furrowed, and he patted Lavi's knee.

"Is that what you dreamed of? What they'd done?" Allen asked quietly.

"Yeah," Lavi said, without hesitation, surprising himself. It was easy to trust Allen. He was an open boy- an open man. He had no secrets, no gruesome tales of horror in his past, no need to stuff boxes of memories into closets. If anything, he was doing the opposite of Lavi, opening boxes of memories rather than nailing them shut.

"I remember what that was like, too."

Lavi looked up in surprise. It suddenly occurred to him that that had been the case with Allen as well. How could he have forgotten?

He understood if _he _had a hard life. He chose this life of war and famine and death and ink and paper. He'd wanted to know the world's deepest, distilled secrets, and he'd got what he'd asked for. Allen, on the other hand, had never deserved a single thing that had happened to him.

Almost. Lavi couldn't deny that Allen deserved to be fined for cheating at poker. He was awfully lucky that the policewoman was Moore, so she let him off easy after Lavi had explained the situation. It had involved gratuitous amounts of missing clothes and Crowley's lack of experience... yet again.

"I dreamed for nights and nights about when Rhode had killed an Akuma, destroying it's soul. She'd made me watch it," Allen said blandly, staring out the window. "I remembered hearing it scream, listening to it beg for help as it was destroyed. And I could do nothing."

Lavi stared at Allen.

"What did you do?" he asked.

Allen smiled a little, toying with the edge of the sheet.

"I stayed up sometimes, eating a midnight snack and not wanting to go to bed, but I knew eventually I'd have to go back and sleep. Eventually, Lenalee noticed that I wasn't sleeping well. She kept asking, and I kept saying it was nothing for nearly a week before a broke down," Allen admitted, a half-smile now creeping on his face as he remembered it with fondness.

It amazed Lavi how this person would take a horrific thing like a nightmare and make it a lesson. For all his knowledge and information, Lavi lacked that sort of wisdom sometimes. Yet on more than one occassion, he'd had to give _Allen _the advice. It was a strange partnership.

"Lenalee and I talked for most of the night, and she told me that dreaming of those things was natural. She told me about a thing called a baku, a Japanese creature that eats dreams, and sometimes when she's having a terrible night, she'd just think of these baku, like counting sheep. And then, she'd just fall asleep and the nightmares would leave her be," Allen recounted.

"Where did she get the idea of the baku? The Japanese people have been gone for nearly fifty years now," Lavi asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"I think Kanda told her."

"Seriously?! Kanda?!"

That wasn't like him at all! Besides, Kanda was more Chinese than Japanese- just because he was ethnically a Japanese man didn't mean he was part of their culture! Unless... he remembered more than he let on about his past life. Lavi made a mental note (quite literally) to ask him the next time they called each other. Was it possible that Kanda and Lena... Naaaah, no way. Kanda was too busy babying Mugen to notice a woman, much less Lenalee (though that wasn't to say Lena _wasn't _a woman- she and Kanda just weren't- well).

Allen shrugged.

"Anyways, I tried it, and it worked, for the most part," Allen sighed. "I don't know if that's the power of suggestion or the power of the baku, but I didn't much care. It helped, though. I slept, and when the nightmares returned, I'd just sit there and think of these nightmare eating creatures."

"It sounds like a child's bedtime story," Lavi quipped, raising skeptical eyebrows.

"If it works, it works," Allen shrugged, noncommittal.

Lavi smiled, this time a genuine grin with teeth and stretched lips, from ear to ear, thinking of Allen with a thought bubble over his head as he counted sheep-like monsters chasing after cloudy nightmares. Lavi took another look at Allen, and he noticed the bruise growing on the boy's head.

"Holy crap! I socked you a good one..." Lavi muttered, grabbing hold of Allen's head and turning it into the light.

"Ow ow ow! Lavi, that hurts!"

"Hold still and let me see it!"

"It's just a bruise! It'll go away!"

The two fussed for a few more moments before there was a loud, insistent knocking from the floor below them, no doubt Link and Ricardo complaining with a couple of strong strikes to the ceiling. The two jumped, holding still and listening for more auditory intrusions. Seeing that they were no in danger of being sharply reprimanded by an angry CROW, Lavi fell back on his bed, staring at the low ceiling.

"Sorry I hit you," Lavi apologized.

"You're alright. I hadn't realized you would be so strong in your sleep," Allen sighed, rubbing his head tenderly where the bruise was steadily spreading.

It was companionably quiet for a while as the two boys were wrapped up in their own thoughts. Lavi turned his head towards the clock, and he saw that it was almost two in the morning. The night seemed to drag its feet, taking its time winding through the streets as moonlight filtered through the window to the floor, creeping along the edges of shadows to illuminate all things therein. Allen hadn't moved, and neither felt the need to sleep just yet.

"It was difficult. Not having someone to talk to about it," Lavi admitted quietly, staring at the ceiling.

In truth, there was no one he _could _talk to about something like this. This had not been his first time being tortured, but it was definitely one of the worst. This time, he'd almost lost friends. He'd lost his sanity. It had all gone downhill from that point.

"They bound me up. They never cut me, not anywhere vital. Just under the fingernails and in between the fingers, between my toes, armpits, tender places. I remember I couldn't hold anything for days, and I had to be careful. No matter how I moved, something was going to hurt. They beat me a few times. They burned me. I think one of the hardest things, though, was when they-"

He fell quiet, staring at the ceiling, using it as a sort of canvas for his memory, a painting of experiences. There was a blank spot, a woman-shaped hole overlooking a cliff.

"-They shot my partner. Almost killed her. I thought she'd died. I could hear the gunshots from the tent I was in. They brought back her clothes. Luckily, they didn't take her Innocence," he recounted, his voice almost falling to inaudibility.

Lavi was quiet for a few moments, aware that his friend was watching him intently. Not with pity, not with admiration, not with horror or frustration or indignation. He was just watching him. Perhaps that's part of why Lavi liked Allen. He didn't judge, and he held his tongue until all was said. And perhaps that was what he liked about Kanda as well, though Lavi tended to snap shut around the Japanese Exorcist.

He worked his jaw, rolling his lips over his teeth, as if testing whether his mouth could handle the next words he was going to utter.

"But what was the worst part... was that I didn't have anyone's name to cry out. I couldn't scream for my mother. I never really had one. I couldn't scream for Bookman. I couldn't scream for Esperanza, or Darrin, or anybody. There was no one I trusted could save me. All I could plead for was that they would stop," Lavi slowly said, enunciating each word carefully, almost as if to savor their bitterness. "All I could do was cry."

It was quiet for a little while longer, and Lavi finally chanced a look at his friend. Allen was staring out the window with a forlorn look.

"Why are we here?" Allen muttered, seemingly non-sequitur.

"Because God hates us," Lavi groaned, throwing his pillow over his face.

"Or because God loves us," Allen guessed.

"What sort of God loves people by throwing them into war?" Lavi argued. Sometimes he had to ask himself why he was fighting _this _war. He had volunteered, but he hadn't meant to become a participant, merely a chronicler. Of course, that should have been apparent to him, considering they'd taken on Innocence, meaning that Akuma would have attacked them regardless of their affiliation.

"We're tested. We're tried. We're shaped, molded, changed."

"Yeah- and we're turned into animals, scrabbling for every available avenue to ensure our survival, taking food right out of the mouths of babes if needed," Lavi retorted.

"But you've seen the other side, too," Allen noted.

Lavi was quiet, thinking about how Allen had risked his life to save his. Indeed, Lavi had risked his own life to save Allen's, and Kanda's, and Lenalee's, and countless other people he didn't even know. That had never happened before, not until he'd joined the Order. He would look on at the destruction and not lift a finger. Remembering it brought shards of pain to his new, tender heart.

Speaking of tender heart...

He massaged his chest, the scar still fresh underneath the cotton of his shirt. It was a tall, angry ridge of flesh that still had flecks of thread running through it as the stitches wound around in his flesh, holding him together. His heart, beneath his fingers, was in much the same shape, still beating after its abuses and ridged with scars from where Bookman had haphazardly put him back together like some sort of Frankenstein creature.

It was odd that his true heart, the one that couldn't be touched yet could feel, was also in likewise conditions. It was cobbled together, 49 separate pieces making a whole, stitched like a quilt. It was threadbare, well worn, trod upon by so many feet and years of experiences. Yet, on one little piece out of the whole, names were pressed into the fabric, whether he willed them to be there or not. They'd left an impression he couldn't wipe away.

"Allen, how do you do it? Stay positive?" Lavi asked, sitting up on his elbows.

Allen shrugged again, sheepish. He looked at Lavi, and he admitted, "I just... I see no reason to focus on the negative. We only live here a short time. Might as well make the best of it. No use being miserable the entire time. Especially for us."

Allen's eyes fell on his black, deadly hand, and Lavi knew who he was talking about. Though Lavi had only war after war to look forward to, he was grateful, guiltily, that he didn't face Allen's fate- death at a young age, his own body betraying him.

Yet, he and Lavi weren't very different. The both of them were suffering mental issues, so in that regard Lavi could finally relate. He knew what it was like to have someone in your head, someone you couldn't control, someone who was part of you but _wasn't _you.

"I never asked- how've you been with, uh, with _him?_" Lavi asked.

Allen suddenly drew his knees up to his chest, staring at the ground. A pall had fallen over the boy, and Lavi immediately regretted asking. Lavi scooted over, patting the bed, and Allen stuck his legs next to Lavi, laying down his head next to Lavi's feet.

"Uh... good, I guess. But there... was an incident, at a point, in America," Allen said quietly. The boy shifted, a telltale sign of his discomfort.

"Nea suddenly took over. Not for long, but... it stuck with me, I guess. I almost didn't notice," Allen muttered, losing his positive edge for a moment, letting the dark creep in.

Lavi nudged Allen with his foot.

"The Science Department cooks up miracles daily. Maybe they can find something for you," Lavi sighed, flinging an arm over his eyes.

"A miracle... yeah," Allen breathed, staring at the ceiling.

Before long, both of them had fallen to sleep.

* * *

><p>There was a knock on the door.<p>

Allen had left with Link for the day to gather supplies for the trip into the Gautemalan rainforest. The first thing they wanted to visit were the Mayan ruins, as that was the best lead they had for finding a 'lake of tears' and where the 'sun and moon' kiss. Viracocha was Peruvian, and the Feather Snake and Hummingbird references were Aztec. They had decided to start in Guatemala and work their way to the Aztec ruins, and finally they'd head south to Peru and scope out the Inca ruins for clues.

Lavi was left in his room, sitting on his bed and furiously scribbling notes as he read four different books simultaneously. His absolutely limit was twelve, but that gave him horrible headaches, and he wasn't nearly desperate enough to try for that many just yet. Four was easily doable. So far, though, he hadn't come up with much.

"Come in," he called out, expecting Allen to barge in with his arms full of food. He couldn't wait to eat, honestly. He was starved- for once.

Bookman stepped inside, shutting the door softly behind him. Lavi sat ramrod straight, tossing his pen back into the inkpot.

"Gramps," he said in surprise. Realizing the mess of his room (books everywhere, papers strewn about, half-eaten food, mostly Allen's, on the floor and the bed, crumbs in the cracks, even ink on the walls and on the bed spread where he'd dripped it on accident), he swept the bed and stacked the books and hastily threw the inkpot on the desk.

"I... wasn't expecting you," Lavi laughed nervously, breathing heavily from exertion and nervousness.

Bookman studied his student. Lavi was gawky, overly skinny now (his clothes hung off in telltale fashion), his cheekbones sticking out like blades. His eye was muted- not dull, not empty, just... oddly shaded, like someone had put a screen in front of it. His lips were tinged blue- not a good sign, but at least his skin wasn't completely white now. The scar on his chest reached up over the neck of his shirt, and Bookman stared at his pale apprentice. For the first time in years, his freckles were visible- perhaps because of his pallor, perhaps because of the sun. He fidgeted under his master's gaze, tapping his fingers together, ink stained and dirty. From the looks of him, he hadn't even _showered. _From what Bookman knew, the teenager could sleep until noon, wake up, continue his day, take a nap for several more hours, wake up again, and then promptly go to bed and sleep a further fourteen hours before restarting the cycle. He slept more than any other person Bookman had known, and Bookman had known _a lot _of people.

"Yes, I see that," Bookman muttered. "Though... my room is not much better."

That seemed to put the redhead at ease. Bookman motioned for Lavi to sit on the bed, wherever he could find the room, and Bookman sat on the opposing bed.

"How is the heart?" Bookman asked, gesturing to his chest.

Lavi placed his hand flat to his chest, and he muttered, "Been better, been worse. It keeps limping along. The laudanum helps."

That explained the muted eye. However, Bookman couldn't begrudge Lavi the use of opiates- they kept his pain under control, and after having one's chest cavity torn open, it was a must.

Bookman nodded in agreement sagely, and now it was Lavi's turn to survey his master.

Short, as always. Question mark ponytail, still defying gravity and physics and Lavi's best efforts at understanding _how _it managed that shape. His eyes were black, his eyeliner was thick as coal, and his fingers were tipped with those scary, metal claws. When Lavi was younger, he'd actually thought those were part of Bookman, until he'd taken them off in order to wash his hands before delivering a child. He was older, though, more wrinkled, more hunched. His clothes were neatly pressed (unlike Lavi's), and his person was clean and shaved (unlike Lavi's). However, the typically direct man was staring off at the ground, looking at the ants on parade, carrying away bits of Allen's last dinner into the cracks in the floorboards.

"You... didn't come here just for that, did you?" Lavi asked quietly.

Bookman finally looked into Lavi's face, and the redhead's heart throbbed in his throat.

Had something happened? He hoped not. He shouldn't _hope _that Allen wasn't dead, that Link wasn't dead, that Darrin and Ricardo weren't dead, but he couldn't help himself. He glanced at the bandanna on the floor, the thing he'd stopped wearing because he was too fond of it, too attached.

Bookman noticed and he shook his head. "They are fine, apprentice. Our connections have means of keeping themselves safe."

Lavi felt conflicted. Bookman had talked about connections being useful...and now it seemed that Bookman used the term almost interchangeably with 'friend' or 'allies'. After all, they were the documenters- they couldn't _have _allies, because allies didn't exist when you weren't part of the war machine.

So Lavi toned down, not completely quashed, the feeling of relief.

"Do you remember your parents?" Bookman asked, rubbing his forehead.

Lavi frowned, weighing his words carefully. How could he tell Bookman he still remembered? He could still smell the brick dust, still see the shells of buildings, those husks of cities in his mind's eye, luring him into a memory of blood, terror, despair, hopelessness. He still remembered his mother staring out at sea for hours at a time, the most yearning look in her washed-out blue eyes, aquiline nose pointed straight to the horizon as she seemed to crumple from within like a rotting pastry. He remembered the meager food. He remembered how she tried so hard. He remembered.

In the end, he didn't have to answer. It had apparently written itself on his face.

"I can't expect you to _not _remember. I taught you to recall absolutely everything," Bookman muttered to himself sardonically, rolling his eyes. "Sometimes, to my detriment."

Lavi almost snickered. Prank wars were not common between him and Bookman, but... revenge was always disproportionately remembered, he would put it that way.

"I should have told you a long time ago," Bookman sighed. "Do you remember anything of your father?"

The redhead again frowned. He shook his head.

"No. I know he died when I was very young. I must've been three or four," Lavi said, tapping his knee with his fingers, still unable to stop fidgeting. Despite the laudanum dulling his senses, he was still always moving, a habit that Bookman had once found very annoying. Now, he took it as a sign of Lavi getting back into good health.

"What I am about to say to you _must _stay with you and you only," Bookman warned, standing in front of the boy, still shorter despite Lavi sitting on the bed. Lavi nodded solemnly.

Bookman took a breath to compose himself.

"Your... father was not a Bookman. Your mother was distantly related, a child of a Bookman and his consort who shunned the clan and their way of life. That is where many of your genetic tendencies toward eidetic memory and magic come from," Bookman explained. "She had wanted to marry your father, a merchant."

"What does this have to do with me keeping a secret? 'Oooooh, dear, his father was a merchant! Capitalist pig!'" Lavi joked, waving his hands. Bookman's stare shot the humor in the heart, and Lavi once more sat quietly.

"Your father had odd tendencies. We recognize them now as disorders of the mind, diseases of the brain," Bookman sighed.

Lavi could see where this was going, and he stared at Bookman. His eye flickered down to stare at his hands, and he clenched his hands together, rubbing his thumbs together and biting his lip.

"I get it," Lavi muttered quietly.

Bookman was silent.

"So... I'm crazy? Not... just because of them."

The old man said nothing.

"...Is there a treatment?" Lavi asked, already knowing the answer.

Bookman said, "No."

"...Thanks. For telling me," Lavi stated, looking up hesitantly.

"You understand why I cannot tell anyone," Bookman said quietly, putting a hand on Lavi's shoulder. The redhead gave a sheepish half-smile.

"I wouldn't want a crazy leader either."

Bookman nodded, and he began to leave, letting Lavi sift through this information, integrating it into the stronghold of facts and figures, experiences and inferences.

"Wait, why did you pick me if you knew-?" Lavi asked slowly as Bookman opened the door.

It was silent for a while, and Lavi watched Bookman deliberate, stroking the door handle, taking in its dull, brassy color and smooth texture, run over by hundreds upon hundreds of hands. This door had been touched by thousands before him, and that was something that would never cease to amaze Bookman, the sheer number of encounters that objects made with others that far succeeded humans.

"You were worth the risk, Lavi," Bookman said, looking him in the eye with raised nonexistent eyebrows.

* * *

><p>"You're awfully chipper."<p>

Lavi looked up in surprise.

"Huh?"

Allen was staring at him with an odd look, though it wasn't bad. It was like happy bewilderment.

"You're much more lighthearted today than you were. Did something happen?" Allen asked, shifting on top of the hay.

They were trundling along in the back of a truck, all their belongings piled high on large bales of hay. It was the only convoy going up this way into the Guatemalan rainforest towards the ruins. The roads were sparse, and the way was curving and sinuous. Few knew how to navigate it, and the next convoy out planned on leaving in the next month. Going by themselves was out of the question. While Akuma may await them in the cities as well as the jungle, there were plenty of bandits as well, and the Exorcists weren't allowed to shoot _them. _

"Naaaah. Just feel better, is all. Ticker's still going, sun's out, and the mosquitoes are mostly gone," Lavi said cheerfully, going back to his prior activity.

He'd taken to sketching now. He found it helped with the blackouts, those periods when the world disappeared into vivid, bright memories. Despite his eidetic memory, he didn't have the ability to put what he saw in his head on the paper. The challenge was both liberating and frustrating. Though he could picture Bookman clearly in his mind, he couldn't seem to get _everything _about him right. The curve of the ponytail was just a bit off, or the eyes weren't symmetrical, or his hands weren't folded right. The bumpy ride didn't help his drawing ability, either.

"What are you doing?" Allen asked, peering over the top of the paper.

Lavi pursed his lips at the boy, turning the paper down towards his chest, and whined, "Hey! I'm not done yet!"

"Oh, come on, I'm sitting here bored out of my mind, and you've been scratching at that paper for the better part of an hour," Allen sighed dejectedly.

Lavi held out his paper to the side and surveyed it, pretending to really take interest in his creation. Allen grinned and tried to snatch it from the older boy, but Lavi was quicker.

"Ah ah ah! Nope! Gotta be patient. I'm deciding whether or not it's fit to grace your vision," Lavi said imperiously, and Allen flailed his arms as Lavi pushed his face away.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't have added such a big nose on you," Lavi teased as he stared at the sketch, and Allen's jaw dropped.

"You haven't been drawing me, have you?!"

"Only while your mouth was lolling open and your tongue was sticking out."

"Lavi! That's not funny!"

"Hey, quiet down. I'm trying to nap," Bookman grumbled, the old man stuck between several bales and the cab of the truck. His blanket was thrown over his head, and he was stuffing his fingers in his ears. As if the drone of the engine weren't bad enough, he had two teenage boys doing stupid things in the back of the truck.

Lavi and Allen winced simultaneously, and they tried not to laugh.

Lavi leaned back against the hay, sighing and readjusting the bandanna over his eye. He made sure to sit on his sketch, and Allen 'hmph!'ed rather loudly. Lavi grinned, and he tried to settle down his mind.

He'd gone back to wearing his bandanna. He talked a little more to Allen, a little more sincerely too. He traded dirty jokes with Darrin. Ricardo talked about his maths projects, and Lavi sat and listened intently, giving advice where he thought applicable. He felt better these days, and the world seemed maybe a bit brighter. The sun banished the demons of the past, and his work gave him purpose.

Yet, at night, he could still see her face, dark glasses glinting against firelight. He couldn't forget, but he could at least keep his mind off of it for a while. At night, it was harder. No one was awake to talk to. Lamplight was too dim for easy work. He was left to his own devices, and his mind ran like a wound clock. Some nights, he went without sleep altogether, deciding it wasn't worth the dreams.

But for the time being, daylight was his friend, and he welcomed it.

There was a sudden commotion off to the side of the truck, and the trundling vehicle came to a stop. Allen and Lavi sat up, curious as to the hubbub. Bookman continued his snooze, because there was no point to getting up just to find out there was a man's cow stuck in the middle of the road or something like that.

Lavi and Allen looked over the high gate of the truck, eying the rest of the convoy. A series of men were huddling around the commotion, and Lavi could hear the sound of a goat bleating.

Spikes of fear stabbed him in the gut, and he didn't know why.

"Allen, get Bookman," Lavi breathed, suddenly heady. Something about this situation just didn't strike him right. The goat, the sudden stop, this whole mess

_The smell of livestock somewhere deep in the forest, New England trees surrounding him, the light filtering through the leaves. It's midday, and the caravan's stopped, just for a moment, because they heard a cow lowing in the brush. It's a gray day, and the ground was wet, petrichor seeping through his nose. And then, there was motion from behind as the men tried to free the cow, and he remembered seeing that the cow had been tied to the tree amid the brush, deliberately places. Then the guns-_

_BANG BANG BANG-_

Lavi ducked, unsure if this was the memory or reality.

"Lavi, what are you doing?" Allen asked, peeking over the bale of hay as Bookman surveyed the terrain from his perch on top of the cab of the truck.

The redhead looked around, aware that the air was silent. He hesitantly began to stand up, heart hammering in his chest. The smell of cordite and wet ground still lingered in his nose, and he ruffled his hair. He could see men milling around the goat that had been trapped in the brambles, and he took quick breaths, trying to calm himself.

_Not New England. Not French or Injun or English or slave. Just... the forest. _

_"Esta nada! Solo un cabra! Va, va, arriba." _

The convoy continued.

"What did he say?" Allen asked, collapsing back on to the hay.

Lavi couldn't help but notice that his glove was unbuttoned. He wondered how much good Innocence would do against metal bullets. Then again, if it could stop an Akuma's bullet, surely it could stop a mundane slug. At least, he sincerely hoped so. He'd never had to test that theory.

"He said it was nothing, just a goat. It must've wandered off from one of the homesteads somewhere out in the forest," Lavi said, pointing behind him at the verdure, thick and luscious. It was hard to believe there was enough space for a goat, much less an entire homestead. The plant life seemed to wage a war against human construction, creeping across the road at points with vines and nettles. It was only constant vigilance and a well-placed shovel that kept the botany at bay.

"People live out there?" Allen asked himself.

And then there was the deafening bang.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I'm baaaack. Spring Break has revived my sudden need to write, and I've churned out this chapter that's been through development for nearly three months! I apologize for the lateness. I hope to get some chapters on backlog so that things will be more or less scheduled, but I wouldn't hold my breath. :/

Anyhow- much thanks to my new subscribers, rollando35, graveMonera, Tera Raiden, PrincessWindNight, and fading ink! They give me hope that people haven't given up on me yet.

A big thanks to graveMonera, rollando35, PrincessWindNight (all double-headers!), and AnnieMatsukaze for favoriting the story, too. There's nothing like free publicity and a good readership! I'm glad so many are willing to show they like the fic!

And finally, to my reviewers, who've been sadly neglected. Indiahenna, I was more than happy to refer Heat Wave, and I'm pleased to find that things are moving at more or less the right pace. PrincessWindNight, I'm just happy you like the story so much and were willing to tell me! Really, that's 50% of what a writer needs to hear. The other 50 is good, detailed critique. I gladly accept either.

I don't really have any questions! Feel free to ask your own, tell me what you think, or even rant about how you hated that I left for so long and the story almost ended on a cliffhanger. Read, subscribe, favorite- show your love!

God bless you, and happy reading!


	27. Un Mal Necesario

The truck was suddenly thrown, and Lavi had very little time to realize what was going on. He crashed into the ground, face-first, as the truck skidded on its side and crashed into the trees. Dazed, he was aware that his face hurt _a lot _and he was lying with his back against a tree and his legs in the air. He groaned and tried to get back on his feet, managing to bruise his ribs on a buttress root. He spat out the first curse words that would come to mind, no matter the language, as he crawled on his hands and knees and looked around.

It took him another moment to realize he couldn't hear a thing. He was deaf as a post. His vision was frantic, searching the forest. He could see the hay truck and all their belongings. Bookman and Allen were nowhere to be found, but he could see that there was a massive amount of hay piled up where it had fallen out of the truck. A sudden, horrid thought crossed his mind of Bookman trapped underneath the bales when the truck had flipped, and he scrambled toward the hay pile as fast as his limbs would let him.

It was only the afterthought that some_thing _had caused this sudden turn of events which made him stop in his tracks for a moment and think. He reached for his hammer, breathing deeply. His breath roared in his ears like an inner ocean, and sound slowly came back to him. He could hear the shouts of frightened and confused men, the cackle of something in the trees, more explosions. He swallowed, focusing. This was no time to run into battle without a plan.

First, find Bookman and Allen. Strength in numbers.

If he could, deal with the Akuma that had somehow flipped the truck without him noticing. More than likely, it had used a bomb.

Which he could very easily step on...

Lavi looked down at the leaf litter that was almost ankle deep. He pressed his lips together, looked at the sky (or what was visible through the canopy), and attempted not to shout obscenities. He couldn't catch a break.

Carefully, he tiptoed his way through the encroaching jungle, and he dug through the hay pile.

"Bookman? Hey, Jiji, if you're in there, you need to say something!" Lavi joked weakly as he tossed entire bales to the side, searching for his mentor.

"Idiot apprentice, if I were an assassin, I would have killed you," Bookman weakly groaned behind Lavi. The redhead turned to his voice and found him underneath a suitcase, his head bleeding profusely and his kohl smudged from landing on the ground. Lavi quickly lifted the heavy valise off the old man and helped him sit up.

"Pressure bomb?" Bookman asked as Lavi brushed the dead leaves and detritus off of him.

"Yeah, looks like," Lavi muttered. "It's like Florence all over again, huh?"

"I hated those things," Bookman agreed, shakily getting to his feet. "Did you see where Allen went?"

There was another large BOOM, and the two instinctively dropped to the ground and put their hands over their heads. They had been through this kind of thing before. Honestly, Lavi was glad for the familiarity. A lot of the time, the Akuma came up with new deadly devices, and Lavi's massive knowledge of war weapons was useless at that point.

"No, I didn't see Allen. Must've been thrown. Did you see any bandits?" Lavi asked. His mind immediately turned to the goat that had been stuck in the brush. Someone had wanted them to stop here. It was entirely possible this was a human endeavor.

"No. I didn't see anything," Bookman grumbled belligerently, obviously miffed that he'd missed the signs of ambush. Both Lavi and Bookman felt chagrined for their immediate ineptitude. For two people so familiar with war, they should've noticed beforehand that something was about to happen. Lavi wondered how many had been killed, but he squashed the thought. He'd long before discovered it was no good to feel guilt over the dead. It wouldn't help them and only add to the psychological burden Bookmen carry.

This was why you didn't get too attached.

"Grab the gun. Go look for Allen," Bookman ordered as he removed his Innocence from the inside lining of his coat.

Lavi gave the old man an incredulous, and perhaps fearful, look. He balled up his fists, and Bookman gave him a look that brooked no argument.

"These may not be Akuma. To kill with Innocence would be... unwise," Bookman stated.

Lavi deliberated momentarily. How long had it been since he'd had to shoot a gun? And if he was forced to, would he even be able to hit his mark? Deciding better safe than sorry, he left.

Lavi scrabbled to the truck and peered inside the cab. The two men inside were still alive somehow, dazed but aware. Lavi asked them if they were okay, and one answered that his leg was broken. The other complained of a headache, probably because he'd smashed his forehead into the steering wheel. Both were wearing seat belts, which had more than likely saved both their lives.

Lavi reached inside, grabbed the rifle off the rack, and headed out, ignoring the protests of the men inside the car. He stood up on the cab and looked around, noting the craters in the road. There was still no definitive evidence of Akuma, besides the cackling Lavi had heard earlier. His heart continued to thump in his chest, sometimes lurching as it missed a beat.

"Allen? Allen!" Lavi called, jumping off the cab to the ground.

"I'm... I'm over here!" Allen shouted from deeper in the forest, and Lavi fought his way through the brush, hair standing on end. He could still hear men running pellmell through the jungle, but he ignored them, his focus on Allen's voice.

"Keep talking! I'm coming to find you!"

"I'm actually in a tree. Look up!" Allen commanded, and Lavi searched the shallow treeline underneath the canopy. Allen was, indeed, stuck in the air, pinwheeling his legs in a vain effort to get free.

"How did you get up there?" Lavi asked breathlessly, wrestling with the vines and shrubs. He readjusted his headband, almost smacking himself in the face with his rifle.

"I jumped at the last second. Master's split-second training sessions finally came in handy," Allen quipped darkly, shifting in the branches of a small, wide-branching tree.

Lavi began to climb, his eyes scanning the undergrowth for intruders. Spanish shouting echoed in his ears, immediately translated.

_"A demon, some kind of creature!"_

_"But I saw other men! Where's Pedro? He was in the last truck!"_

_"Quiet, they'll hear you!"_

Lavi swallowed as he realized he was about twenty feet off the ground, but Allen didn't seem so perturbed. While Lavi had never had a fear of heights, he recognized that a drop could put him in cardiac arrest or kill him outright. He looked ahead at Allen instead.

The kid didn't look worse for wear. In fact, he'd got the better end of the deal. His face was scratched in places, but he didn't have the road rash Lavi suffered. His clothes were clean, besides the leaves in his hair and shirt, and he was more or less calm. Allen wasn't one to panic, and for that Lavi was thankful. As much as he loved Komui, the man had a penchant for overreaction, and he still remembered the donkey kick to the face he'd received after trying to rescue the man, who had somehow gotten stuck in the rafters trying to fix something in the Science Department.

"Do you wanna climb down, or do you think you can make the jump?" Lavi asked, now directly behind the boy.

"I can jump, if you'll unhook me. I think a branch is stuck in my suspenders," Allen suggested, tugging at the aforementioned piece of apparel. Lavi helped Allen sit up on a branch and unclip the offending article of clothing, and the white-haired Exorcist smiled gratefully.

"My thanks," Allen said politely.

_"De nada,"_ Lavi wearily answered.

Allen jumped down from the tree, and he rolled back on to his feet-

A blur tackled the boy, and Lavi activated Tenshui.

The Akuma was not burly. It was a thin mass of bristling wires, a white mask on its face. It cackled, the scream of metal on metal. Lavi scrabbled to get out of the tree as Allen knocked the creature off him. It rebounded off a tree and scrabbled down, hissing under the mask. Lavi's hammer suddenly crashed into the side of it, and it screeched as it was pinned. It spit and clawed like a cat underneath the hammer, and it took a lot of his strength to hold the thing in place.

"Allen, any time would be good, you know," Lavi suggested through gritted teeth.

Movement edged at the corner of his eye, and the distraction almost cost him his hold. Allen blocked another demon, this one much bigger and made of what looked like vines. Lavi wouldn't have been able to tell it apart from the surrounding forest, if it weren't for the fact Allen was impaling it with his long, sharp fingers.

"I'm a bit busy at the moment!" Allen answered, slightly peeved.

Lavi's hammer slipped, and the creature tried to run into the trees. A series of needles impaled it against the massive tree's trunk, and Bookman hopped down from a smaller tree. Lavi turned his attention to the living amalgam of vines, and he crushed what he thought were its legs. It dragged thorns over Allen's legs, but his cowl blocked them from doing true damage. The two Bookmen jumped over the lashing vines from the creature, and after several more minutes of battle, it lay on the ground, beaten.

"Are there any more?" Lavi panted.

"Not that I could see. However, there are bandits as well. They pick up whatever's left over from the Akuma attacks. Easy pickings," Bookman said. "I suggest you be careful."

"When are we not?" Lavi joked, smiling, and Bookman rolled his eyes. He decided to take that glibness as a sign of the redhead's humor returning.

"I will see if there are more survivors," Bookman said, disappearing into the underbrush with a quick hop.

Lavi and Allen surveyed their kills respectively, wiping the sweat off their brows. They had not been easy opponents, but the fight had been quick. Three against two was a little unfair, but one of them had a dud heart and the other was an incredibly old man, so it all evened out. Lavi kicked the corpse of one of the Akuma half-heartedly before collapsing into a sitting position.

"You okay?" Allen asked.

The redhead nodded, waving a hand at Allen.

"It's nothing. Gotta get my wind back," Lavi assured as he finally stood back up, replacing his hammer to its rightful spot. He picked up the gun, which he'd dropped from his scrabble down the tree, and put it in a soldier-carry, leaning against his shoulder barrel facing up.

"We should be heading back," Lavi suggested. His face was beginning to sting from the dirt rubbed into the scrapes, and he really needed a drink of water. His sketch and pens were no doubt lost to the wilderness, but at least they had their belongings more or less in the same place. It definitely beat having to fish clothes out of a river or something. He'd never forget the look on Kanda's face when their luggage disappeared down that ravine...

Allen nodded, taking the lead. Lavi followed behind, tramping through the undergrowth. He could swear he spent more of his time trying to fight the plant life than the actual demons. Lavi suddenly snagged his pants on a thorny branch, and he beat at it with the butt of his gun in the hopes that maybe he could break it off rather than deal with it.

"Allen, hey! Hold up, I'm stuck!" Lavi shouted into the dark, and the white-haired boy patiently stood, no more than a few meters away from the road.

It was only a flash, the gleam of something in the distance, that tipped Lavi off as he looked at Allen. He abruptly took aim with the gun, nestling it into his shoulder as easily as embracing a friend, and leaned forward. His good eye looked down the sight for mere moments, enough to discern his target. Allen looked behind him in confusion just in time to see what he was aiming at.

Lavi breathed out slowly, mechanically, and took his time squeezing the trigger. A deafening sound cracked the air, and Lavi's ear rang like a gong. The bandit's mouth formed a surprised 'O' as his shirt blossomed black. The rifle in the bandit's hand seemed to fall slowly as the bandit put shaking hands to his chest and fell sideways against a tree. Allen ran to the downed man as Lavi lowered the gun and yanked his pants off the thorny vine.

He couldn't have been older than Allen. Lavi could see that from where he stood. The younger Exorcist's eyes were incredulous, almost unseeing, as the bandit before him abruptly coughed his last, blood misting Allen's face. The hands gripping Allen's forearms relaxed, and Allen swallowed hard, staring into the dead boy's face. Allen looked up at Lavi with a lost look.

"I surprised him," Lavi said quietly, motioning to the fallen gun. "He was going to shoot you."

Allen looked back at the dead boy. His eyes were still open.

"You killed him," Allen said slowly.

And Lavi knew, in that instance, it had dawned on Allen that Lavi had probably killed quite a few people. And he wouldn't be wrong.

So he didn't say a word.

"We've got to go back to the others. They're going to wonder where we are."

* * *

><p>Lavi grabbed a canteen and shoved three pills in his mouth. Hopefully, the slew of medicine, and maybe a few of Bookman's sleeping pills, would help ease him out of the day. As much as he hated being in that numb fog, the medicine did help to an extent. At least, he didn't worry too much. And right now, he could do without worrying.<p>

Allen had secluded himself, more or less, and Lavi knew he needed time to sort out his thoughts. There was nothing like watching a person die in front of you. Allen had experienced something like it, watching a soul disintegrate into nothing. Lenalee had recounted the event after she'd been well enough to talk while they were in Germany. He'd never heard so much hurt in her voice before, besides perhaps when she relived the days when she was strapped to a bed in the Order, forbidden to see the light of day.

And again, he wondered why, of all the people in the world, God had called children to fight his war. A small, still voice knew the answer.

_He does not call the equipped, but he does equip the called. _

Allen was practically deaf from hearing the call so much. The boy should be canonized as a saint, if it weren't for the fact they were in a secret war. He practiced love for thine enemy like no one else Lavi had known. Saving the Akuma... what some would call a fool's errand, yet it had allow Allen to fight and still keep his soul.

Lavi wondered about the state of his own.

"You doin' alright, pardner?"

Lavi looked up from the fire he'd been intently staring into. Darrin stood at his shoulder, cylinder strapped to his back as per usual. The man was holding a whiskey bottle (nothing new there) but had yet to gain the red-rimmed eyes of the drunken. The apprentice smiled at him sheepishly.

"Just... hoping I didn't scare Allen too bad," he admitted, looking over his shoulder at the white-haired boy who was splitting firewood. Was it just him, or did he swing a little bit harder than necessary...?

"Heard you killed a boy," Darrin grumbled, sitting down next to the younger man.

Lavi was silent, fiddling with his pill vial, watching the little dots inside roll back and forth.

"He was going to kill Allen. His rifle was aimed at his back," Lavi said flatly.

He'd gotten on the wrong side of more than one person, not just Allen. Bookman complained that Lavi had interfered. Lavi'd remarked back that they had already interfered when they battled the Akuma with Allen to begin with. Bookman had had nothing to say about that. He merely told Lavi to remember they were spectators in this war, and he'd stomped off on his little legs to tend to the wounded. Oh, the irony.

Darrin took a swig from his whiskey bottle, and he offered it to Lavi. The young man looked at Darrin's chapped lips and crooked, slightly yellowed teeth, as well as the neck of the bottle, and he kindly declined.

"Did the right thing, boy," Darrin assured. "Allen'll understand, at some point. Can't be mad forever. Ye saved his life. Either way, y'had good 'ntentions."

"What was that about the road to hell?" Lavi drawled. "Paved with good intentions?"

Darrin spat.

"Y'ain't on any road to hell, boy. It's when you lose the heart 'n soul, you got trouble," Darrin muttered sagely. "Ain't nothin' wrong with defending yerself and friends."

"Perhaps in your American West that's how it works. In Europe, we call it murder."

Suddenly, there was a commotion on the edge of camp. It was a slow progression, not an immediate reaction to a problem, but Lavi could sense it in the puzzled looks of some of their guides. They'd had to stop for the night on the road, and they'd be at their destination by tomorrow night. However, their mission was to investigate an amphithere that may or may not exist.

_"Este aguandando aqui junto a mi! No se donde esta. Uno momento, fue aqui, y un momento proximo, no fue!" _

Ricardo, the scientist sent on the mission, was calming the man down who'd been out gathering wood from the surrounding jungle.

"What's going on?" Allen asked from behind Lavi, and the redhead turned around. The boy had a worried look on his face, staring at the man who seemed to be slowly getting into hysterics as others tried to explain that they hadn't seen Pedro either.

Man, Pedro was having a bad day. He hadn't been seriously hurt in the bomb blast, but he'd had to have a three inch piece of wood removed from his right buttock. That would ruin anybody's day.

"Apparently, one of the guys, Pedro, was out with Federico and kinda just vanished," Lavi explained, scratching his head.

"I don't blame 'im for bein' jumpy. Not after t'day," Darrin agreed, taking another swig and putting his feet up on a stone.

"Wait... do you think... the amphithere snatched him?" Allen asked nervously, suddenly looking around him into the surrounding forest. It was just before dusk, the sun giving a dusty glow to the surrounding land. Lavi couldn't help but notice the hair on his arms raise. Those shadows were awfully long, and there was so much foliage...

"Uh... maybe Pedro just went to the bathroom and didn't tell Federico," Lavi suggested, but even he didn't believe that.

"Lavi, come here," Bookman called from the edge of the forest, and Lavi's stomach dropped to his ankles. What _now? _

He awkwardly looked at Allen, and the kid shrugged, gesturing to Bookman. Lavi got up with a creak and began ambling over. He winced as his leg cramped, a side effect of the medication. At least it was working now.

"Comin' Gramps!"

Lavi couldn't help but feel like eyes were on him. Darn it, Allen! The kid was supposed to be the optimistic one, not making him feel like he had to watch his back!

Bookman was kneeling somewhere in the undergrowth, and Lavi almost tripped over him. Allen bumped into Lavi's back, and he almost jumped out of his skin.

"HOLY - God, Allen, put a bell on or something! You just about made me crap my pants..."

"Oh! Sorry, I hadn't meant to frighten you."

"Both of you, quiet," Bookman snapped. He motioned for both Exorcists to lean down to his level, which they did. The old man's finger traced a deep rut in the ground, covered slightly be ferns. It was hidden just well enough that a casual passerby wouldn't notice, but of course Bookman was _never _just a casual passerby. Lavi himself had to hand it to the old man for keeping his eyes so sharp, and he wondered how he managed to keep his eyesight in check, what with their reading by lamplight and all.

Maybe he ate a _lot _of carrots.

It was quiet for a few minutes, the boys staring at the rut.

"Uh... why are we looking at a ditch?" Lavi asked, pursing his lips and playfully shaking his pill vial. "Are you going to be the one on meds next? Cuz this looks like a ditch to me."

"Shut up, idiot apprentice. I did not train you so you could make glaringly obvious mistakes. Look closer."

Lavi nearly laid on the ground, Allen right behind him, staring at the depression in the ground. The two boys looked at each other, and simultaneously stated, "It's... a ditch."

Bookman slapped his face, rubbing his eyes. The two boys looked at each other, and Allen shrugged. Lavi shook his head and twirled his finger by his ear, and Allen tried hard not to laugh. It wouldn't do to have both of them slapped by an irate old man.

"What about the grooves in the ditch?" Bookman drawled.

By this point, Lavi was almost shoving his eye into the mud, trying to discern what it was that Bookman was trying to teach him. He felt muted frustration, and he knew he was overcompensating for his lack of feeling by being exaggeratedly hard to deal with. However, Lavi suddenly realized what Bookman was talking about. He backpedaled away from the ditch, putting his back against a tree with a horrified look.

The ditch... was at least a foot and a half wide...

"Lavi? What is it?" Allen asked, eying the track.

"He finally gets it, that's the matter," Bookman grumbled.

"Good _Lord_ that thing is big," Lavi moaned, covering his face. No no no, he didn't want to think about giant snakes. He didn't like snakes particularly, but a _giant _snake? He knew he'd have to finally confront it some time, but this was too soon!

"The grain of the track is very small, almost scale like. You can see from the very small striations," Bookman said. He pointed again to the edges of the tracks. "It also left small, iridescent filaments behind, perhaps from its scales or feathers."

Lavi groaned and leaned his head back against the tree, pouting. Chances were, _he'd _have to talk to it, too. And he wasn't good at speaking snake particularly either! He had brushed up on some of his Nahuatl and Mayan, but who _knew _what kind of language a giant feather-snake spoke...

"We must find it and begin negotiations. They enjoy keeping their prey for a few days, riddling them with enigmas. They feed off confusion," Bookman ordered, standing up.

"Then, can we do it tomorrow?" Lavi pleaded, peeking through his fingers.

"Lavi!" Allen complained. "There is a man out there who's been captured by some... dragon or other! You don't abandon teammates!"

"But it's almost dark and I don't want to be eaten alive!"

"_Tonight. _Before any more unlucky men disappear," Bookman muttered. "They don't eat people, but they certainly like to play with their heads a bit. Sometimes they're missing a few cards out of the deck when you find them again."

* * *

><p>Lavi waded through the undergrowth. His eye scanned his surroundings, ears attuned to the slightest <em>swish swish <em>of foliage. Allen was only a few feet behind him, swinging another lantern. The rainforest cacophony had not died down in the night. Animals scurried and hissed and croaked, birds cawed, and mosquitoes buzzed around their heads. He was drenched in sweat by now, the stifling day's heat trapped by the trees. Heavy breathing issued around him.

What was worse, his paranoia had spiked. Every shadow made him jump. Every vaguely humanoid shape, be it tree or trunk or stone, sent jitters up his spine. He imagined enemies behind every limb, every bush. After today's debacle, seeing that boy dying, knowing there were bandits in the trees, all movement felt as if he were being preyed on, stalked. Sometimes he thought he'd see a pair of blue, accusing eyes, sometimes a single green eye in the dark, other times remembering other trips and smelling memories of tramping through the forest, weapons at the ready, following a pack of sweaty men out to face down creatures that would make people shiver to think about...

_God punishes thieves and liars._

_But he has something special for murderers..._

Sickness spread in his stomach as he thought of the boy, blood misting out of his mouth as he painfully rasped a last breath. He couldn't shake the vision from his head, causing a flurry of other

_blond and pale with an axe, her face getting larger, and he's terrified because he accidentally walked into the house off the warzone, hadn't realized there was someone in it and he drew the pistol, the one he'd been given, had secretly hoped he might get to use, if just once and she flew, pale, on top of him as a deafening sound swelled around them both and now there was blood everywhere and lord, he was just ten and he'd seen so many die but not like this, the gurgling and the twitching, and she smelled like rose petals and iron and there was a baby crying somewhere in there_

visions

_a boy no more than eight carrying a rifle single file with the others half his age and he hopes he doesn't get caught because he's not supposed to be out here, because he's just curious, that was all, curious as to the marching and the noises of boys and the raucous shouting of kids playing ball but the boy is coming towards him and he has to put a hand on that stupid rifle again, keep cover, rule number one was to never break cover_

of people he

_bright blue eyes piercing his heart over and over, hammer coming round again to kill, always to kill, because that's all he could do was watch as others are killed and he himself kills, kill others for others, watch others kill for others, this round of suffering as they fight, eye for eye and tooth for tooth, Doug's eye for these soulless glass replicas, yet there was no way to fight heart for heart, because he wanted to know where he could fight to get his heart back, where he could dig it back up out of someone's dead hand as he smashed a hammer into the demon over and over that wore his friend's face_

"Lavi?"

He was pulled out of his reverie by Allen's questioning voice, and he looked back. And he could see in Allen's eyes that the boy was frightened.

"You said you were sorry about something," Allen stated, holding up the lantern.

Lavi looked down at his trembling hands, and he realized he didn't feel anything. Or rather, the feelings were gray, like paint that had lost its vibrancy. They were quieter, tamer, yet small. It made him feel sick, and it made him feel numb, but the feelings didn't go away. The guilt still stuck to his insides, sometimes making it hard to breathe. Now the guilt was condensed, smaller, like a black hole sucking things into it. Easier to manage, but with a price.

"Allen... about today..." Lavi started, unsure where to go with his statement.

How do you apologize about murder?

"I understand."

Lavi looked up in surprise, not realizing he had been staring at the ground. He blinked rapidly, trying to untangle the strange, pale mess of his feelings. Part of him didn't believe Allen, the paranoid part that whispered like insects running inside his brain.

_He doesn't mean it he doesn't mean it he doesn't mean it he doesn't know he doesn't mean it he couldn't know he doesn't understand why would he forgive you he's just placating you_

"Allen - "

The white-haired boy raised a hand, shutting his eyes. His mouth was set in a hard line. The moon, or what was visible of it, highlighted the scar on his face. He took a deep breath, composing himself, and Lavi anxiously waited.

"You did it for my benefit... You did it to save my life. And I am grateful. While I'm not happy about how it turned out, I can't deny you did it in my best interest," Allen announced in a precise voice.

Lavi winced at the tinge of anger in Allen's voice towards the... outcome. It was clear in Allen's posture that the death of the boy had rattled him and made him furious and conflicted. After all, Allen was used to fighting demons, and he knew said demons would receive a welcome in Heaven. He had no idea what was the outcome of the poor boy who'd been in largely the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people. Allen easily empathized with the dead kid, and that made it even harder to reconcile that Lavi was not only willing to kill, but _had _killed someone whom Allen could've easily replaced in a different life.

Yet Allen was choosing reconciliation.

_He doesn't mean it he can't mean it humans don't mean the things they say they lie they lie they lie_

Allen's voice was soft as he opened his eyes.

"I also know that this is probably harder for you. You're an observer. You're not supposed to... interfere."

_Blonde, pale_

_dark skinned and big eyes, surprised  
><em>

_smell of oily blood, the picture of a white ribbon_

He rubbed his eyes, aware that he should feel... emotional. He should feel grateful. Allen didn't hate him. Allen might still be friends with him, someone who didn't deserve friends. But he felt like his heart had gone stale, gray and cold and crumbling all of a sudden. The feeling would come and go, but it was _here _now, so present and dry. He licked his lips, thirsty.

He grabbed his canteen and gulped some water, unaware of Allen's expectant face. He fiddled with the canteen, and a noise caught his attention in the wilderness.

And then, he turned around and kept walking. Allen stood there, stunned, having expected... a different reaction. Or any reaction at all.

Yet, Lavi kept tramping forwards through the brush as if nothing had happened, lantern swinging as he searched the undergrowth. Allen frowned, and he followed behind.

"Lavi!"

"Mhm?"

"How...many?"

Lavi stopped dead in his tracks, the smell of salty iron not far from him. A deadened heart stuttered a beat, sending ripples of guilt through him as he thought about it. They had all been in self-defense. He had only been trying to save himself. That's what he'd always told himself at night, when the little voice came back and asked him why, why, why.

_But was it worth it? _

"Seventeen," he admitted over his shoulder, the words like bitter gall leaving his mouth. He had counted them as ink on paper, nothing more than swipes of the pen as he cleaned his mind of the issues, tried to forget the stains their blood had left on his patchwork heart, sanitized every memory until it was crystalline and pure as a gem. And now...

Now they were lives, seventeen too many, who were in the wrong place with the wrong people at the wrong time.

Allen's hand descended on his shoulder, and Lavi stared at the ground with a blank stare, regretting not being able to regret, with irony. He realized how far his mood had plummeted, and he looked at Allen with a pained, yet frank, plea.

"We've got a snake to find, don't we?" Lavi asked with a bit of a smile, and Allen smiled. He nodded, and the two continued into the forest with their eyes glued on the trees that seemed to buck and sway to the rhythm of rainforest music, unaware that what they sought was only a few steps behind and had always been.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Back again, everyone! I'm hoping everyone had a wonderful Easter filled with candy, baskets, and the love of Christ (though I understand not everyone will believe in the last item, I wish for it anyways). I decided to clean up this chapter and put it out, seeing as it's now a month gone by and it's time to add another piece to the tapestry.

Thanks, India, for reviewing! And any input is welcome, even something little like 'This made my day'. I'm glad you were so happy to see it picked up again!

And a big welcome for my new subscriber, OmGiStHaTaDuMpLiNg! I love the name - honestly, anything food related pulls on my heartstrings. So it's nice to see something that has to do with food.

Well, until next chapter! Happy reading, God bless you, and tell somebody you appreciate their company!


	28. Riddle Me This

"Do you see this?" Allen shouted into the forest.

Lavi spun on a heel, searching the dense jungle with his one good eye. His heart began to pound as he realized he must've lost Allen. Shoot - he'd gone off daydreaming again. This was no time to get lost in his own head when there were... giant snakes... about...

His skin crawled, and he shook the feeling off as he started to work his way back to Allen. He swatted away the clouds of mosquitoes, feeling mild annoyance, but it was muted, as if someone had put a damper on all his emotions. He was like a piano with a pillow stuffed on top of the strings so no matter how hard you shoved down on the keys, only the most muffled of notes rang out.

But it was a small price to pay. He had no more blackouts, and he could control the sudden memories. With the medication making everything fuzzy, it was easier to bat away those unwanted memories, even if it made him feel as if he were floating through a gray mist.

He beat his way through the foliage until he was standing by Allen, and he stared up at the wall of vines Allen stood in front of. Lavi frowned, raising his lantern to cast light on it. Carved, worn rock glowed orange underneath the vines, and Lavi looked left and right. The structure was a conical stair-step, and it was nearly a hundred feet tall, an extraordinary height for something so old. The trees towered over it, and it seemed to meld into the forest surrounding them. It was as if it were a part of the rainforest, reclaimed by nature.

"What is it?" Allen asked.

"Not sure. Some kind of temple, I think," Lavi muttered under his breath. He put two fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle, hoping to get the other men's attention.

"Shall we?" Lavi asked, gesturing to the temple.

Allen looked uncertain, staring at the structure warily. He didn't like this. Lavi could tell. Something about the building just... didn't sit right with the white-haired kid. Lavi was used to old ruins, though. He'd been in more abandoned temples and houses than a politician's been in cathouses. He touched the rock, feeling the grit under his fingers, and he looked up again at the larger carvings, his eyes tracking the scattered pictures. Tellingly, he recognized the faint outline of a quetzalcoatl, as well as several men hung upside down, arms over their heads.

Lavi gestured for Allen to follow, and he walked around the temple. Surely there was a door somewhere...

"Shouldn't we wait for the others?" Allen asked nervously. He rubbed his arms, getting gooseflesh despite the stifling air. Even Akuma weren't quite so bad as this. At least Allen could sense them, unlike this monster that seemed to blend with the rest of the forest.

"No... they'll catch up soon, anyhow. Look, we need to get into this temple. I get the feeling Pedro is in here," Lavi stated, knocking a fist against the rock. "And I feel bad for him. That amphithere's probably got his head so wrapped around, his brain'll be a pretzel by now."

"What is it that amphitheres do?" Allen asked as the two of them searched for some kind of entrance.

"They tell riddles, like Jiji said. They feed off the confusion of mankind, but they thrive off knowledge, too. Some say if you answered all their questions, they'd reward you. If you could stump them, they'd give you an entire kingdom," Lavi recounted, recalling all of the information he'd ever encountered concerning amphitheres as preparation for this trip.

"Didn't Darrin's cylinder say something about a feather snake?" Allen asked.

"Yeah, it did. That was one of the reasons we came out here. The other was that Akuma were attacking along this highway as it was," Lavi said, passing by a relief of a quetzalcoatl -

Wait a second, they'd _just _seen that, hadn't they? Lavi frowned, touching the wall pensively. Yep, he'd _definitely _just been here. Of course - they couldn't make it easy.

"A riddle wrapped in an conundrum inside of an enigma," Lavi grumbled in annoyance.

"We went in a complete circle, haven't we?" Allen asked sheepishly.

"Yep! It got us good. JIJI, HURRY IT UP, WILL YA?! I AIN'T GOT ALL NIGHT!" Lavi shouted into the rainforest.

The only answer was the constant cacophony of the rainforest and their labored breathing from the vigorous hike around the temple.

"D'you think -?"

"Don't go there."

The two boys looked back at the temple.

"Well... how do we get in if there's no door?" Allen muttered, more to himself than to Lavi. He tapped his chin with his black hand, and Lavi was suddenly hit with an idea.

"We make our own door!" Lavi professed, activating Tensui.

Allen stared at his friend with incredulity, and he gestured to the massive temple.

"Lavi, that's got to be more than a foot of rock -"

_"Grow-"_

"- you don't _seriously _think you can just - "

_"**Grow -**"_

"- oh, for heaven's sakes -"

_"**Ready or not, here I**_** _come!_**_"_

With that, Tensui had grown to about the size of an elephant, blotting out the moon overhead. Allen was honestly surprised that Lavi had anywhere to _put _the darned thing, considering there was hardly space to walk around between the trees, much less swing the head of a massive hammer anywhere. Allen rolled his eyes as Lavi brought the hammer down, quite literally -

Both boys were flung back into the forest as if from a massive blast for the second time that day, and Allen found himself, once again, in a tree while Lavi lay with his legs dangling over his head, back to a tree and head in the dirt. The two boys groaned as they tried to right themselves. Allen fell out of the tree with a girlish shout as Lavi pinwheeled his legs in an attempt to get back on his feet rather than on his head.

"What... _pthoo _... happened?!" Allen coughed, spitting out a leaf. He stumbled over to Lavi, and he surveyed the 'damage' the redhead had done to the temple.

Absolutely none. Not a single scratch.

Allen helped Lavi stand up, and the dazed apprentice stared at his handiwork, or rather, lack thereof. He stamped his feet and muttered several colorful phrases about the amphithere's parentage that made Allen blush.

"Lavi! Watch your mouth!"

"What? It's not like we've got little kids running around. And that one time was an _accident, _I swear - I had no idea Timothy was listening when I said Kanda looked like he was a tr-"

_"No more, _please," Allen pleaded, hands on his knees as he tried to get his breath back.

The two of them looked at the temple, and Lavi stretched his back, trying to work out the kinks. He sighed.

"So brute force doesn't work," Lavi grumbled. "It figures."

"Apparently not. I guess there's some kind of force field or something," Allen muttered, scuffing the ground with a boot, sending leaves and debris flying.

And then, suddenly, Lavi was struck with another idea. He looked at the ground where Allen had created a rut in the deep detritus of the forest floor, and he pointed down.

"Wait wait wait, we don't need to force our way in - we just have to know how the _first guy _found the door," Lavi said. "There's got to be a rut somewhere from the amphithere. It's a feathered snake, but I don't remember anyone saying it could _fly._"

"Heaven forbid such a thing," Allen said, shuddering. "Well, what are we waiting for? I'll look over here, and you -"

"Nah-ah-ah, we are _not _splitting up! You saw what happened to the last guy. He's getting mind raped by the freaky feather snake right now, so I think it'd be better if we stuck together," Lavi said, practically standing on top of Allen as he hugged the kid's head to his chest and looked around the forest with apprehension and a squinted eye. Allen, used to this kind of treatment, gently extricated himself from Lavi's over-the-top embrace.

"Alright. Let's see what we can dig up," Allen said calmly.

The two of them used a stick to mark their starting point in case they walked around in circles again. They slowly made their way around together, kicking aside leaves and sticks in hopes of finding some clue. It wasn't until they were a third of the way around that Lavi noticed a long rut headed towards the temple - and then suddenly disappearing. It was as if the beast had run headlong into the outside of the temple and just vanished.

"What in the Sam Hill?" Allen said, staring at the seemingly magical trail they'd been left to follow.

"Really? _Sam Hill?_" Lavi asked with an amused expression, staring at Allen. The young boy made a face.

"I picked it up from Darrin! He says it quite a lot, you know, so it rubbed off on me..."

The two boys stared at the temple for quite a few more moments before Allen suggested, "Perhaps we should go back to camp. It's a fool's errand; this may not even be where the amphithere took Pedro, and we could be wasting time!"

Lavi's eye seemed to be far off as he stared at the building, and he slowly shook his head. "No... this is it. And I think I know why we can't get in..."

Allen stared at the redhead, who'd whipped out Tensui again. Jitters of apprehension crawled against his skin as he thought about the _last _time Lavi had attempted to fix this problem with his hammer. He chewed on his lips, staring at the Innocence in his friend's hand, and he muttered, "Lavi, is that such a good idea...?"

Lavi looked over at Allen in confusion before it dawned on him what the white-haired kid must be thinking.

"Hey, I may _look _stupid, but that doesn't mean I'm actually stupid. Nah, we've been looking at this all wrong. We kept thinking the door had to be down _here. _What if it isn't? What if the door is up there?" Lavi asked, pointing Tensui at the top of the conical pyramid. No doubt, at some point, there had been a kind of doorway up there, or a square centerpiece. The stairs must have long been obscured by the vines, but that was all fine and dandy for an amphithere. All that mattered was that there was something for the amphithere to climb up...

"You want to climb up there?" Allen asked slowly.

"Nope," Lavi said simply. "We're gonna fly."

"Fly - ? - _whatdoyouthinkyou'redoing__putmedownthisminute!"_

Lavi dragged the rather stunned Allen through the air as Tensui's handle extended forward and up, lifting them into the air. Lavi could see the top of the temple now, and sure enough there was a rather large hole with a pole smack dab in the middle, no doubt for the serpent's use.

"Ha ha! I was right! See that, Allen? A hole," Lavi said.

_"Lavi, I was never meant to be this high off the ground,__" _Allen lamented, clinging to his redheaded "friend" as much as he was able. Allen wasn't typically afraid of heights, but Lavi could be reckless and unpredictable, and for all he knew, Lavi might just drop him right here and now with some missive to get Bookman or something of the like. Or, worse, they might go _higher. _Allen was not a fan of riding the hammer handle, and he preferred to have his feet on the ground.

"Alright, alright, we'll go down, then," Lavi sighed, and Tensui shrunk until the tip of the handle was level with the highest tier of the temple.

Allen tentatively put his feet on the edge, and Lavi pushed him over. However, he'd shoved just a bit too hard, and Allen ended up falling face first down the hole. Lavi winced as he heard a distinct "AH!" and a _thud. _He followed after quickly, and he bent on his knees to look down into the temple. Allen lay face up, staring up in a daze at Lavi from what looked like the highest floor. A door led out to the rest of the pyramid, and it was suspiciously big enough for a certain giant snake.

"Alleeeeeeen~! Are you okay down there?!" Lavi called, leaning forward -

- too fast, as karma would have it. He pinwheeled his arms to keep his balance, but it was too late. He landed on top of the pole, smack dab in the middle of his back, and promptly fell face down on the slabs. He made choking sounds as he felt his vertebrae do some kind of musical shuffle, realigning themselves. He curled up on his side and tried not to shout at the heavens for his bad fortune.

True, it was probably payback for pushing Allen down the hole, but that was a genuine accident.

"Come on, get up," Allen sighed, trying to pull Lavi to his feet. The kid was obstinate, though. He whined and curled up in a ball, unwilling to get up.

"Do you want the feather snake to come to us, or us to it? It's your choice," Allen said rather calmly, staring with amusement at his rather childish partner.

Lavi was suddenly very eager to get going. Amazing what a little bit of incentive will do.

They walked through the door and found that the hallways and rooms were formed in much the same way as a snail shell. The hallway was a sloping ramp that spiraled down, with rooms full of odd instruments and scrolls on each floor. Bas-reliefs covered the walls as they made their way down towards the bottom of the pyramid, and eyes seemed to follow them. Allen shivered as gooseflesh cropped up over his arms, and Lavi tried to ignore the sensation of being watched.

On the last few turns of the ramp, they'd noticed the tunnel was becoming brighter and brighter, illuminated by a sickly green glow. The two crept forward, all business. They finally reached the main doorway to a large atrium, almost thirty feet high. A pool of water, probably a sinkhole, punched a hole in the floor. On the ceiling, vines trailed down in streamers. Stalactites dripped down, but they were tiny, no bigger than a man's forefinger.

"You see Pedro?" Allen asked.

"Nope," Lavi drawled slowly, scanning the room.

They both straightened up from their crouch, walking around the circular atrium. It was beautiful, in an odd way. The light originated from a massive, luminescent stone in the middle of the ceiling, and the light bounced off the water in the sinkhole, magnifying it somehow. Lavi stood at the edge of the sinkhole, and he whistled appreciatively.

"That's a big hole in the ground," he muttered to himself.

There was a sudden rumbling, like a great boulder trying to wedge itself through a crack in a mountain. Allen and Lavi ran to each other, back to back, and they listened patiently for the noise. It seemed to come from all around, though, and Lavi looked towards the doorway.

He ushered Allen to a piece of fallen masonry, and the two sat with their backs to it, hardly breathing in anticipation. The two looked at each other with trepidation as something _big _slid into the room.

"Lavi," Allen whispered, tugging on the other boy's shirt.

"What?" Lavi snapped, keeping an ear out for their guest.

"I think I found Pedro," Allen muttered, pointing upwards.

Amid the stalactites, an inert, humanoid figure swung from the vines, wrapped among them like a fly trapped in a web. It wasn't obvious whether the man was conscious or not.

"We can't let him hang upside down for too long. All the blood will rush to his head," Lavi whispered.

_"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"_ a voice slithered, weaving into the boys' ears, winding around in their brain, and making its way back out. Allen felt his skin go cold, and Lavi itched his scalp as if a spider had infiltrated his skull. If goosebumps hadn't already formed massive colonies by now, they were rampant as wildfire. The spine ached and twanged like a taut string, and the nerves spat and fizzled under their skin.

It spoke in Mayan, but somehow the language was clear. The two panted, and an oppressive feeling overwhelmed them.

_"I suppose you've come for your friend. I'm glad. I love visitors. I don't get enough of them. Hopefully, in time, more friends will follow your lead." _

Lavi looked back up at Pedro. He heard a faint whine, and he sighed with relief. The man was alive, but there was no telling what his mental state was like. Being locked up with this... _snake _for too long was enough to drive the strongest willed man mad. He got Allen's attention, pointed to the man, and then pointed to Allen's black arm. Allen gave him a horrified look, pointing to himself.

Lavi slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand, and he gestured to himself, then back to the... _thing _crawling around out there.

_I'll distract it, _Lavi mouthed, but Allen still looked rather skeptical. Finally, Allen sighed, threw up his hands, and bolted to the wall. Lavi saluted to Allen's back with a cheeky smile, and he ran out to find the snake.

He didn't have to look far. It was big enough to cover almost half the circle that made up the floor. Iridescent feathers covered its body, and a fan-shape adorned the end of its tail. In a strange way, it was almost beautiful, but the head... the head nixed that idea.

A cruel, reptilian face swung around, searching the cavern. It was vaguely humanoid, just enough to cause shivers. Something was decidedly wrong about the face, but Lavi couldn't put his finger on it. The eyes were golden, slits digging through middle, and they seemed to take up half its face. The face was covered in a fine down of feathers, so small as to be almost imperceptible.

A rattle erupted from its throat as Lavi pounded his hammer into the ground to get its attention. It coiled on itself and rose up.

_"A Bookman..." _it hissed, eyes twitching up and down the young man. Lavi got the distinct feeling it was sizing him up. He swallowed, testing his words in his mind.

_"What about it?"_ Lavi quipped in Mayan, quirking an eyebrow. The amphithere slithered closer, a smile stretching on its face. It was almost fifteen feet long, thick and undulating.

_"I haven't seen your kind here in a long time. I remember we used to have... competitions. You couldn't become a Master without coming across one of us, first," _the amphithere chuckled. The ripples of laughter seemed to wash over the Junior Apprentice's skin, and a sweat broke out over his forehead.

_"Really, now? What happened, then?" _Lavi asked, walking away from Allen and Pedro. The young man was steadily working his way up the ladder of vines to the captive man.

The question struck a chord. A chain of shivers seemed to cross the serpent's feathers, a single wave of discontent. Lavi heard a clicking noise as a secondary eyelid shut over golden eyes, watching him.

_"We are... few." _

_"I'd say so. You're the only one I've heard of. I'd dare say, you may be the only one left." _

The amphithere hissed in warning. It swung its head towards Lavi faster than his eye could follow.

_"Because of you men and your hateful cunning. You banish confusion, drink up the knowledge you got from us, destroy our lifeblood. We were the guardians of gods. Now... we are legend," _the amphithere scolded, imperiously bent almost double in frustration and indignation. _"But you make trouble for yourselves, anyways. It is in your nature. Your comeuppance is upon you. Now, what is it you want?" _

Lavi stood by the wall, effectively blocking himself in. The amphithere had him cornered, if that could be said in a round room. However, its head was turned from Allen, who was trying to find a way to lower the inert man without dropping him. He needed more time. The Exorcist begged Lavi with his eyes, grimacing as he tried to take Pedro's weight.

_"A feather. I just want... a feather," _Lavi professed as the amphithere lowered its humanoid face to stare into Lavi's own. His visage swam on top of the golden eye surveying him, and the amphithere began to laugh, great rolling guffaws.

_"A feather! Ah, so you are being tested! Oh, how long has it been since I've been asked for a feather!" _the amphithere bellowed, almost rolling on the ground. _"I-I-I could g-give you an entire kingdom! No, the secrets to life! To death! I could give you anything, but what you ask is for a measly_ _feather_."

Lavi gave a shaky smile. _"But you_ will_ give me a feather?"_

The serpent stared at Lavi almost blankly. The eyes remained wide as the snake swayed in thought.

_"Oh, I will. For a price." _

_"A price?"_

_"A wager."_

Lavi muttered a curse. He hated making bets. The last time he made a bet, he ended up scrubbing the bathroom floor wearing a maid's costume for Jerry's pleasure.

_"Fine. A feather for...?" _

_"Your... companionship."_

_"How long?"_

_"Seven years of your life."_

Lavi stood there, his face completely level. On the inside... it was a different story. His mind was whirling around to a thousand places at once, debating the pros and cons, trying to see if the risk was worth it. Seven years. Seven years was a long time. Definitely not forever, but still a long time. And besides, he didn't know what the wager entailed. It could be flipping a coin. No, no, this was an amphithere. They loved riddles too much. Guardians always love riddles.

All he needed was a stupid feather. He could just reach out and pluck one off, get himself out of this mess quick, but he had a feeling that wasn't going to be as easy as he expected.

_"You're on. What's the game?"_

_"Oh..._ pitz_," _the amphithere chuckled, curling away.

Lavi frantically looked over at Allen -

The kid was gone. He must've run for it as fast as he could. A sigh of relief imperceptibly rushed out.

"Play ball," Lavi snarked, smirking at the serpent. It seemed to rattle its tail, a strange look on its face.

It suddenly swept Lavi into the sinkhole without further ado. He didn't even have time to shout. There was a large splash... and then, nothing. The snake followed after with a ruffle of feathers and a quiet hiss.

* * *

><p>"This is most definitely where the boys were. Now, if we can just find them," Bookman grumbled to himself.<p>

Darrin had tracked the two after hearing Lavi's piercing whistle, but once they had arrived at the temple, it was definite no one was here. They had found a newly formed pile of broken branches from someone climbing out of a tree rather haphazardly, as well as skid marks and disturbed foliage around the temple. The group of men muttered among themselves in Spanish, nervously shuffling their feet.

"Dunno, pardner, but they might'a hitched farther away to follow th' creature," Darrin suggested, looking up from his tracks. However, it sounded like he didn't believe that himself. The two stared at the temple a little longer.

"It's almost two in the morning," Ricardo sighed from behind Bookman. "Should we go back?"

"You can, but I won't," Link said irately, adjusting his cuffs. "I cannot leave Walker by himself or allow him to escape. I'm going to keep looking."

"And I cannot leave my apprentice. Amphitheres and Bookman have a... shaky history," Bookman corroborated.

Slowly, men began walking back to the camp as Link and Bookman continued forward, Darrin following behind with his canister strapped to his back.

Bookman rapped the temple wall with his fingernail, and he almost groaned. It was warded with heavy magic. Not to mention, they'd walked around the temple nearly five times before realizing they were walking in circles. The old man shook his head as he looked up at the top of the temple.

"There should be a structure up there..." Bookman mumbled to himself, rubbing his chin in thought.

Suddenly, something emerged from the top, and all three men stiffened. Link grabbed a knife. Bookman put a hand on Heavenly Compass. Darrin's hand twitched towards the revolver he had at his side constantly.

A white face peered over and slumped with relief.

"Thank God," Allen groaned, putting his head to the vine-covered stone. Pedro was leaning on his shoulder, gently gibbering in Spanish, eyes wide and unblinking. It would be a while before he would be back to normal.

"It looks as if your charge can handle himself," Bookman said with a smile, and Link stowed his knife with a slight sigh.

"The Lord smiles on me. I'd hate to bushwhack another inch through that forest," Link muttered under his breath as he climbed up the outer foliage that seemed to latch on to the rock. The other two men followed close behind. It took them

"Where's Lavi?" Bookman asked as he took Pedro. He checked the man's eyes, and he found they dilated normally as well as were operating right, just... he hadn't blinked in what seemed to be a long time.

"He told me to leave him. He's... negotiating with the amphithere for something, I'm not sure. He gave us time to get out," Allen assured. Link helped the boy climb down as they made their way back to the ground, all of them quiet as they chewed over the heavy news.

"You go on. I will stay behind and wait for my apprentice," Bookman assured as the silence stretched to breaking point. The cacophony took over as Bookman stared at the temple, a weary feeling filling his bones.

Allen helped Link lead Pedro away into the forest, Allen looking over his shoulder every few seconds, while Bookman surveyed the temple. He didn't care to go back up the thing. He didn't know why he didn't just stay up there to begin with. He hadn't been thinking.

"Need any help?" Darrin asked, which pushed Bookman from his reverie.

"I don't believe I will," Bookman said. "This is a matter between Bookmen and their former compatriots."

"You got truck with them feathered demons?" Darrin pressed curiously, and Bookman only gave the man a sidelong glance.

"At one point in our history, we were something like partners. They kept the people confused and hid the secret wars of the world from those who didn't need to know, but in the meantime they also hoarded knowledge. Eventually, we had... a difference in opinion. We fought. Not many of them are left," Bookman recounted. It suddenly occurred to him he was divulging Clan secrets, and he blinked, realizing he had forgotten himself.

"But never mind that. My idiot apprentice is probably in danger. The amphitheres have long memories," Bookman said, turning back to the temple and the situation at hand. "You had best find your way to camp. I will be with you shortly."

Darrin stared at Bookman for a while, barely having to look down at the short man. He recognized the look of someone who had secrets to keep, and this guy looked like he had enough skeletons in the closet to outclass a graveyard. He slowly turned and walked back into the brush, disappearing into the foliage like a ghost amid the trees.

* * *

><p>At first, he'd felt crushed. His body was being shoved through a hole meant for a piece of straw, and his mind was in a likewise state. The feeling could only have lasted a few moments, but as with all uncomfortable scenarios, those few moments felt more akin to years.<p>

When he was at last freed from torment, he hit something solid. He didn't dare open his eyes or try and breathe. His last (very vivid) memory was being swept into the _cenote _by the feathered snake, and he was certain he must've hit the bottom or a wall.

But he didn't feel wet. In fact, he felt quite dry, and air was blowing past him, so he couldn't possibly be in the water.

He opened his eye to an incredibly large cavern, so large that the ceiling above was hidden. Torches hung, still and breathless. They lit the dark space, but their light was curbed, almost as if it were too timid to reach out into the strange twilight of the cavern. A circular playing field radiated around him, packed dirt making up the oddly flat floor. The space inside the cavern was immense; a cathedral could sit comfortably with several companions in this massive hole in the ground.

Lavi got up and dusted himself off, realizing belatedly that he had inexplicably been changed out of his typical clothes. Now he was wearing only a loincloth and hipguards. He should've figured. He was told they were playing _pitz _after all.

It was the ancient Mayan ballgame the Hero Twins of myth played against the Lords of the Underworld. He was familiar with the symbolism of the game, and he had to admit that this stupid snake had some style. No doubt, he was in the Underworld, _Xibalba. _

His skin crawled, thinking that he was in the depths of the earth. This guy pulled out all the stops for his riddles.

Quickly, he took stock of the rest of his surroundings. _Pitz _fields were shaped like an valley, but unlike the typical _pitz _pitch, this field was circular. The walls sloped inwards to form a kind of shallow bowl, and exactly nine hoops were set up around the entire court. All in all, the field had to be a half-mile across with the walls included.

There was a serpentine _shhh-shhh _of scales on dirt, and Lavi turned around.

"So what's your riddle?" Lavi asked, bouncing from foot to foot eagerly.

"First, the rules. Head, hips, legs, and arms only. No hands or feet," the serpent stated. "If the ball goes out of bounds, the game ends."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Oh, why yes. _Feed the warrior._"

Lavi frowned with an exaggerated pout.

"That tells me absolutely nothing!"

"The best riddles do," the amphithere hissed sardonically.

A ball suddenly landed on the top of Lavi's head with the force of a meteorite coming in from space. He had hardly cleared the stars from his eyes before he noticed that the amphithere had already hit the ball up the wall and away from him.

_That's not fair. He doesn't even have hands or feet to foul with, _Lavi thought peevishly as he raced to catch up.

The game was afoot. He'd better get moving.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **It's that time of year again. The time of year to slack, eat whatever's in the fridge, and get mentally prepared for another year of sch-... scho-... _education. _As such, here's another chapter, the fruits of my (limited) labor! I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the people who subscribe and favorite the story! I've decided to instate a different policy towards thanking individuals for their expressions of interest rather than announcing it rather publicly. The same goes for reviewers.

However, the discussion questions remain: _Has this chapter moved along the story, or is it more like filler to you? What kind of things have you noticed about the characters or the challenges ahead? Are there any characters in particular you wished you could see more of? Are emotions running high, or are they puttering along? _

Send me your answers, in either PM or review, whichever you prefer.

God bless you, and keep reading!


	29. Lost And Found

The game had run long, and he was tired. It seemed like they'd been playing for days. Every time he'd edge closer to a goal, the feathered snake would bat the ball away as easy as blinking, and then he'd have to run the length of this blasted hall to get it again. He'd used his hand on accident only once, and it was suddenly engulfed by the ball, teeth chewing their way through his wrist, before Lavi threw the ball back with a great heave. His hand was a mauled mess, and he'd not made the same mistake twice.

Panting, slightly bloody, he ran back and forth with the ball, trying to keep it in play. If the ball ever stopped rolling, the game would end. Even just a nudge was enough.

He _still_ hadn't figured out the feather snake's mysterious phrase.

_Feed the warrior. _

What could that possibly mean? He honestly didn't have the foggiest idea.

"Getting tired, little one?" the feather snake chuckled, circling Lavi lazily.

The redhead glared at it with one eye as he bounced the heavy, rubber ball against the amphithere's tail. It jerked reflexively and snapped at Lavi as he dashed towards the edge of the bowl-shaped arena. The ball bounced against the sloping wall off his hip, and Lavi winced. He'd have a massive bruise by tomorrow - if he got out of here. He'd noticed that a golden line was slowly spiraling out from the sun in the middle of the court. It was almost halfway to the edge of the sloping walls, no doubt signifying when this game of _pitz _would end, and Lavi would have to own up to his wager.

He didn't think he'd appreciate this thing's company for that many years.

"Just started!" Lavi cheekily retorted.

He juggled the ball on his knees, grunting with each impact to his skin. It was a heavy ball, and it was painful. He'd be _covered _in bruises. His hips weren't going to be the only victims.

Lavi attempted to score a goal at the closest hoop, outlined with beautiful stone masonry so it looked like the snarling mouth of a lion, but a tail smacked it back at him, smashing into his forehead. He cried out as a gash opened above his covered eye, blood beginning to gush out of the newly formed wound.

The blood dripped down his face, and he scrabbled to get back to the ball.

"Perhaps that will slow you down," the snake shot back as Lavi dragged himself across the field, keeping the ball in play with a haggard look.

He looked down as he slowly moved the ball back and forth, back and forth from knee to knee, over this golden sun...

And it suddenly hit him.

He looked up, an electric jolt racing through him. His mind raced as he eyed the second hoop, just a bit farther back. Feathers decorated it, spears woven around the edge. And, it was the _smallest _of all the goals. A number, _2, _was emblazoned on it with Mayan numerals, shouting the answer.

_Feed the warrior. _

He tentatively kicked the ball towards the second hoop, and the snake struck with unerring precision. Lavi tried again, and the feather snake blocked fiercely. He headbutted the ball suddenly, and it arced over his opponent.

The feather snake frantically batted the ball away, and Lavi knew he had the right hoop. That was his target.

_Feed the warrior. _

_Pitz _was a Mesoamerican game, and the Mayans were very fond of it. It was a reenactment of the Hero Twins' victory over the Gods of the Underworld, signifying the struggle of the universe. The sun was... well, the sun. But the hoops, they were the planets.

There was only one planet that the Mayans considered the God of War. They were obsessed with tracking its progress across the sky, enough to create observatories in its honor. Entire manuscripts were written about its 8-year journey around the sun, and by it they swore blood and war. First to appear at first light, first to disappear at day's end.

Venus.

Well, that wasn't so hard. Lavi smirked to himself, awfully pleased that he'd figured out the snake's little game. He bounced the ball from one knee to the other -

He caught a look at the gold around his feet, and for the first time in what seemed like months, he was jerked back into a memory.

* * *

><p>"It's almost daylight," Link warned Bookman.<p>

"Yes, I have gathered that," Bookman answered sarcastically as he stared at the temple in the slowly dawning light. The night had waned like the moon through its phases, and it had left the old man bone-weary with far too many thoughts. He had kept himself occupied with his memory manifestation, walking through his thoughts and memories with a fondness he should never have picked up.

Though he'd known it was only detrimental to his mental health, he had perused many Black Order memories. There were... good times. For a Bookman, the difference between a good and bad memory was meant to be negligible, but they were human. He could not help but feel warmth when he watched Lavi laugh with his... comrades (friend was too close a term, one he hated to equate). To see him happy was almost too much. Yet, that was not his purpose in this life.

They were the ghosts of the world's greatest secrets, the only thing left of wars and stories untold until the right time presented itself. They were the progenitors of information, the guardians of the truth, and the keepers of the keys to history. Their presence was meant to be unnoticed. Their impressions were to be vacuous, unnoticed.

But he'd broken his own rule. These children had slowly become his own. He couldn't remember when that had happened. He had let other men spill their life's blood on his shoes and not lifted a finger, unless it was to write yet another death.

Was Lavi going to be another whose life would dry on his boots while he witnessed?

"What are you humming?" Link asked.

"A song," Bookman muttered. "To keep me sane."

He had not realized he had begun to sing _Who Will Be A Witness? _until Link had caught him in the act.

"It's fitting."

"Indeed."

Bookman's eyes stared straight at the temple, with its gruesome outer carvings, and he swallowed. What was to become of them? He was far too old. Lavi was far too young. He had only so many years left, and yet...

No, he wouldn't be ready. Bookman... he didn't _want _him to be ready. He hadn't counted the cost. He didn't understand the sacrifice.

Who was he kidding? Of course Lavi understood the sacrifice. He understood it too well, and perhaps that was why it broke the old man's heart.

"You're worried," Link said, an observation. The blonde man was watchful as well, staring into the forest rather than the temple. Allen had fallen asleep by a tree, determined to wait for his... comrade. Link had been standing vigil over the boy for nearly four hours, and he had shown no signs of flagging. Bookman was envious of youth's energy, or rather its stubbornness.

"Do you believe I have a right to be?" Bookman sneered, snappish with exhaustion. He was in no mood to play these guessing games with the CROW. The Order had been receptive of the Bookmen, but Central command was wary of anyone who may give allegiance to the enemy.

"Yes," Link stated, and Bookman merely stared.

"You have a right to your opinion."

"And you have a right to be worried about your grandson."

"He's not my grandson. He is my apprentice. A rather stupid one, at that."

Link continued staring into the distance as he retorted, "Yet you've been here over eight hours."

The silence reigned, punctuated by the cacophony of birds and monkeys in the trees. Soon, there was the crash of feet through the brush, and Darrin arrived with red-rimmed eyes and a leery set to his mouth.

"Them boys is getting impatient. What with them rebs attackin' 'em yesterdee, they're _pret-_ty antsy," Darrin reported as he took a swig off a bottle he'd somehow scrounged up. Bookman had forbidden the use of drink on this trip, but somehow the man had picked it up somewhere. The resourcefulness of addicts never ceased to astound.

"Is he out yet?" Darrin asked quietly.

"Would we be out here if he was?" Link quipped irately, and the old American gave him the hairy eyeball. He went back to his drink, and once more, silence was the lingua franca. There was only the silent-not-silence of the forest around them.

And they waited. It seemed like the only thing they ever did for that boy, was wait.

* * *

><p>He stared into the forest, the golden light of early morning tangled in the branches as it poured over, stringy and sticky. It stuck to everything it touched. His hair, his clothes (new), the trees (faded? birch trees), and the book.<p>

It was a leatherbound book. He'd carried it with him everywhere. Though it had been almost bigger than him, he'd grown to such a size that he was no longer dwarfed by it. There was gold filigree, slowly peeling around the edges, and there was a metal clasp. Hand-worked designs crisscrossed the leather in dancing, Celtic knots and fish and deer. It sat in the redheaded boy's hands, heavier than a weighted heart. He could remember the softness of the leather, and the beautiful shine of the gold that was slowly flaking with years and neglect. The pages, they'd smelled like a library, thin as an onion's dried skin.

The boy opened it in the golden sunlight, the pages transformed from drab white to a brightness that was magical. His fingers ran over the illuminated words lovingly, as if touching a best friend. His green eyes skimmed the well-rote words, and a lump formed in his throat. In the pages, he could see his home country, the city he'd left, the sister he never knew, the mother he lost. He could feel their skin between the covers, he could smell the air from the book's aroma, and he could hear the sounds of the city in the rustle of pages.

He closed it and laid it against the large, white tree in front of him. From his jacket he pulled a coin. From the forest floor, he plucked two flowers, a simple daisy and a fairy's-skirt. His bottom lip quivered as he pulled out a tinderbox and a flint, trying desperately to begin a spark, but his unsteady hands forbade him. Finally, he chucked the flint into the woods, and he stood, staring at the emblem of his first, and last, life.

Tears beginning to drip out of his nose and down his cheeks.

The book sat there, almost accusingly. The dawn's light began to wane as gray clouds blocked the sun. The forest lost its magical quality.

He brought up his hand, and he knew the spell he would summon, the little magic he had copied from Bookman.

A small spark lit in his hand, and he threw it upon the tome, watching it catch like so much dry kindling. It crackled, simple, just a fire without malice or intent. There was no magic, no personification here. Just a book. Just flowers.

The paper turned black, and the leather cracked from the heat. The gold had long run off in rivulets.

It was just a book.

The gold pooled on the ground, and he felt the need to scrape it up, save it, keep it for... for...

He had no need of money. He had no need of books. He needed no flowers, no sisters, no mothers, no brothers or fathers. He needed nothing. He was a ghost, he was the wind, he was a passing shadow or smile.

It was just a book.

* * *

><p>The ball hadn't stopped rolling. That was the first thing on his mind as he jerked himself away, forcefully tearing himself back from the past. Though he could smell the smoke, the burning gold, he had other things that needed doing. He was no longer a boy. The consequences were real. The failures were painful. Sentiment would only drag him backwards.<p>

But for now, the ball was still rolling, and that was what mattered.

"What's the matter, boy? Do you wish to spend your next seven years with me? I make for good company," the snake hissed.

Lavi looked down warily, horrified to find he had only a quarter of the field left untouched by the gold spiral. It crept along, whispering doom to him with its inches.

He had to find a way around this snake. He couldn't just stand here and freeze. He had perhaps fifteen minutes, twenty, before this game of _pitz _would be at an end.

But that snake was_ fast. _That was his problem. He couldn't get around its guard, not as he was. Exhaustion ran him down on tireless legs, and his own set wouldn't hold up for much longer. His hips were bleeding from splits in the skin, and his knees were bruised so badly, they were painted in black and blue. Blood was dripping into his eyes, and his feet felt like pins had been driven into the bones. He was so tired. He just wanted to sit.

Perhaps being this thing's plaything wouldn't be so bad.

Yet, as Lavi watched his opponent, he could see that even the creature was tiring. His winding circuits were more ponderous, and the sway of its neck was bobbing unsteadily. Lavi eyed the second goal behind the amphithere, and he licked his lips. He would play this smart. No more brute force. He had to make this work for _him. _

Lavi knocked the ball into the air with his arm, arcing it toward the snake. The vast creature coiled as if to strike back at it, but Lavi leaped up its body, extending a hand.

The minute he extended his injured hand to the ball, it latched on, and he bit back a shout as he twisted and launched the ball back towards the wall of the round court. Up, up, up the court it went, rolling with the force of his throw, Lavi chasing it for one, last final run. The amphithere tracked behind him, angry and spitting.

The ball raced high in the air, reached its zenith, and began to roll back towards the players.

Lavi dodged a swipe of the snake's tail, and he caught the ball in the chest. He fought to keep from coughing, and he launched the ball with his knee towards the hoop.

He fell on his back, skidding down to the arena floor as he lost his balance, the ball flying out of his field of vision. He lay on his back, struggling to breathe.

The sky seemed to spin above him, and his vision blurred as he turned his head to the side. The golden spiral had stopped, and the ball slowly rolled through the hoop. He raised his head stubbornly as there was the gentle sussuration of dirt being shifted by a great weight. The snake hovered over him, its strangely human face looking down on him as things began to fade.

"You have passed, young one. I pity your future. In time, you will realize, it would have been a kinder fate to..."

Lavi closed his eyes and finally fainted, panting. He didn't hear the rest of the snake's retort, and for that he was glad.

* * *

><p>He woke up in a bouncing truck, head lolling to the side. His chest was exposed to the humid air, and flies had made their home all over his body. He weakly swatted them away, making a whining noise, and he suddenly fell off the bench and on top of a warm body.<p>

"Ow!" Allen shouted in surprise as he flailed awake.

The two rolled around, trying to figure out whose limbs were whose, for a good five minutes before they separated, Lavi laying flat on the truck bed while Allen sat up.

"Oh, thank God, you're awake. I was supposed to be watching you and making sure you were okay, but..." Allen sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

"You fell asleep?!" Lavi shrieked in distress. "What kind of friend are you!? What if I'd rolled off the back of the truck or something!"

"I stayed up all night waiting for you to come back, and I'd only slept for an hour before they dragged you out. I'm really sorry, honest!" Allen explained, waving his hands at his overly dramatic friend.

Lavi sighed with a faint smile.

"I guess I forgive you. This time."

It was quiet as they listened to the hum of the truck trundling along. This time, there was a cover over the truck bed, and there were two benches on either side. This truck was equipped with all their medical supplies, so Allen had been snoozing on some bandages in bags while Lavi had been scrunched with a bunch of boxes. It was like they didn't even _try. _

"What happened?" Lavi asked, eyes closed and his arm flung over them.

His chest pounded, covered in bandages and gauze. He was wrapped up enough to look like a mummy. His forehead had been stitched, so he had to be careful about where he put his arm. His legs felt loads better. His feet didn't, though.

"Well, the snake-thing dragged you out and told Bookman something in his language. Bookman answered something back, the snake hissed and went back to his hidey-hole, and we dragged you back to camp. And then, we patched you up at camp, got back into the trucks, and headed on our way," Allen said succinctly, staring at the road passing underneath them. The kid looked tired, Lavi could say that for sure.

His white-hair was mussed, and his clothes were rumpled. He hadn't even had time to shower - Lavi could almost smell him. They had rushed their way out of there quick.

"Wait, so what's the matter with _me? _Why do I look like I was mistaken for a mummy?" Lavi asked, pointing to his chest.

Allen winced apologetically.

"Well, you... sort of bounced your heart out of rhythm. That's what Bookman told us, anyways. You'd busted two stitches, and you'd bruised a rib and your heart. Whatever you'd done when you were gone, it really did a number on you," Allen reported. He looked back towards the rainforest, and he shook his head with a shudder.

"What? Did they do something to me while I was out?" Lavi asked.

"They... they _electrocuted _you. You jumped like a rag doll. I thought I'd die on the spot," Allen admitted with a grimace.

Lavi looked at his chest.

"That is _so cool." _

"What?! You were literally shocked back to life!"

"But that's awesome! _I'm like Frankenstein's monster!_ I even have bandages around my head and everything! Here, here, look."

Lavi did his best monster's impression, and Allen tried his hardest to keep from laughing. He looked ridiculous, all bandaged and hair a-fly, yet still making light of things. This was the Lavi that Allen had missed. The detached, strangely friendly yet distant man he'd met had scared him.

Lavi himself felt better, despite his body's persistent need to remind him he could _not, _in fact, raise his arms much higher than his shoulders or sit cross-legged. It was as if the fog had lifted, and the world was once again a bright, inviting place full of wonder -

He remembered the memory-blackout he'd had, and a sudden panic gripped him. He'd had that happen to him while he was in that Otherplace. Who was to say it could not happen again, right here and right now? What if he was actually in one _at this moment,_ and he'd been awake for hours, days, weeks even? There was no way to tell. He could be living in the past at this very moment, and any second his life could end because what if he was in _battle right now _-

"Lavi, are you alright?" Allen asked, a slightly worried look crossing his face. "You've gone pale. Do I need to grab Bookman?"

He looked up and quickly smiled.

"No! No no no, I'm just... a little tired. Man, must've overworked myself. I mean, I was electrocuted, I should be tired. Uh, do you think we could stop for just a few minutes? I just need some air."

With a shout and a brief relay, the entire convoy stopped, several men getting out to stretch their legs. Allen helped Lavi out of the truck, but the redhead immediately proved himself ready and able to walk on his own by sprinting headlong into Bookman.

"GRAMPS! It's been _forever,_" the young man yelled as he launched himself at the aging patriarch, and, as per usual, his face was met with a size 7 boot heel.

_"You shouldn't be running, you idiot! _Your heart's bruised!"

"Ow-ow-ow! You shouldn't be kicking people in the face, you old dirtbag! That hurt!" Lavi shouted in response, rubbing his sore cheek.

"Get him back in the truck. He needs his rest," Bookman grumbled, putting his hands in his sleeves and looking off to the trucks.

Lavi's eye widened with sudden panic.

"No... no no no, I'm fine, really, I just need to walk around, is all. I'm all cooped up in that truck. I have to stretch my legs a little," Lavi said with a nervous laugh, putting his hands on his hips. His heart seemed to skip, and he rubbed at the stitches underneath the bandages self-consciously.

The men eyed him warily, Bookman with a blank expression, Allen with puzzled worry, and a few with straight curiosity.

"Fine," Bookman sighed. "Ten minutes. And then we go."

As the hustle and bustle of the caravan resumed, Lavi grabbed all of his things, which had been neatly piled up in his bag in the truck while he'd been out. He took a short walk into the forest by the trees, quietly relieved himself (it'd been hours! He'd thought it'd kill him), and then dug through his bag almost frantically.

Not _all _of this could be a dream. Not just a memory, not a past life he was living while he drooled in the present. Surely he couldn't have done all this _already. _And maybe... maybe if he took the meds, maybe the feeling would go away. He couldn't live with the panic. He didn't like questioning his reality every second, wondering if he was lost in a daydream, if any of this was even _present. _It was too much. He couldn't live like that. He'd rather be lost in a haze, or better yet not live at all.

He contemplated the little pills in the vial. With dread, he realized there were only four left. He'd been taking two a day, more than what Bookman had told him. He couldn't just go and ask for more, either. He'd know he'd been taking too many.

"Lavi?"

He turned around quickly, putting the pills in his pocket.

"Jeez, Allen! Warn me before you head out here! I was takin' a leak! Man, a guy can't even _pee _in peace when he's injured," Lavi whined, hiking back up the slope with the bag over his shoulder, the pills in his pocket as heavy as a lead weight.

And then, it hit him. Before he could think about it, he fumbled in his pocket and the vial fell into the brush.

"Holy- For the love of crap," Lavi said, just loud enough for Allen to hear.

The young boy turned around with a perplexed expression, stopping for a moment.

"Is everything alright?" Allen asked as Lavi peered into the brush.

"I lost that vial of pills. Could you help me look for it? Bookman's gonna kill me if he finds out I lost it," Lavi sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. He flicked his eyes over Allen's face, noting every muscle twitch and minute expression. Allen bit his lip and looked around at the brush, scratching his head.

"Yeah, I'll help look."

Stomach in knots, Lavi went back into the brush and half-heartedly moved ferns, peered into the damp undergrowth, and kicked up the forest debris. Allen was doing the same behind him, and Lavi glanced back with his good eye. The kid was hunched over, sincerely looking for that stupid vial of medication. Lavi bit his lip and mulled his decision over. Finally, he went back to looking in the undergrowth.

And for a moment, he saw the glass vial next to his boot. The pills seemed to glare at him accusingly. He swallowed.

"You find it yet?" Lavi asked.

He lifted the vial on to the toe of his shoe.

"No, I haven't. It's just nothing but leaves and roots over here. Startled a mouse, I think," Allen answered.

He gently kicked the vial, and it rolled down the hill into the brush, lost amid the green and brown. It made little noise, swallowed up by the vegetation and Allen's searching.

"I don't think we're gonna find it," Lavi said, holding his hand to his chest. It had become force of habit, seeing as his breastbone felt like an elephant had stepped on it. His heart hammered in his chest, though whether from exertion or anxiety, he wasn't sure. His ribs heaved and screamed, his head was swimming, and the panic had started to set in.

No, he mustn't panic. He breathed slowly, putting on his mask, forcing his face to relax.

"No, I don't think so either. It looks like you're getting the boot today," Allen said mischievously, a gleam in his eye.

Lavi pouted at Allen and muttered, "Don't remind me. The old man's gonna leave a permanent imprint on the back of my head. The least he could do is wear boots without hobnails in them."

The two began their trek back to the road, and Lavi looked behind him into the dense forest, wondering what exactly he had just done.

* * *

><p>The feather rolled between his fingers. His eyes traced the beautiful gold and silver stripes that wove through the emerald field. It was iridescent, a flash of bright green. It was nearly a foot long, tickling his nose when he lifted it towards his face. Though he'd been staring for more than an hour at the feather, his eyes seemed to look through it.<p>

"Did you get your medication?" Allen had asked him.

"Yeah, I got it. He didn't chew me out too bad. Just said to be more careful."

"Oh. Did you get a whole new vial?"

"Yeah, brand spanking new. Looks like the old man's got tons of them. He probably knew I'd lose one sooner or later. I can memorize whole books, but I lose enough objects to fill up a room."

"Are they for your heart?"

"Um... no, actually."

"...Oh."

The feather went back and forth, back and forth. It winked in the light, a bright eye of silvery pigment on top like a peacock's feather. He hadn't paid attention to that when he was fighting the amphithere, but he'd been preoccupied. The world was contained in this feather now, at least to him. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth between his fingers...

"How often do you have to take them?"

"Once a day. It's not so bad. I just feel kind of fuzzy-headed later."

"I didn't know they made medicine for your mind."

"You'd be amazed what the Science Department can cook up."

Each section of the feather had teeth, almost, that hooked into the strands above and below it. He could pull them apart and smooth them back together. There was a bit of a design on them, a zigzag of silvery-gold lines. In the light of the fire, they seemed to blink at him. It was soft but stiff, a lot like well-cured, tendered leather. Its spine was thick and hollow, and there was a bit of blood on the end where it had been ripped from the amphithere's skin. It felt smooth as sanded wood between his fingertips.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he'd asked.

"Yeah, Allen, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

He lifted his head to the sound of footsteps. Darrin came and sat by him, staring into the fire. As always there was a bottle in his hand, but it was almost full. He must've just started on it. His clothes were rumpled, and his skin was a little tighter across his skin now. Despite the better food, nicer living arrangements, and new complement of equipment, he still looked like a wildman from the great American West.

"Penny fer yer thoughts?" Darrin asked loudly.

Lavi winced at his volume. Despite the full bottle, he was a little tipsy already. The amount of liquor it took to get Darrin drunk amazed Lavi. The fact the man could _get _drunk was surprising. The redhead grimaced and shrugged his shoulders.

"Getting tired of everyone asking if I'm okay," Lavi put out there. To his surprise, it was the truth.

It was the only question anyone ever asked him. Lavi would subconsciously put a hand to his chest and nod with a smile, always happy and always reassuring. Strangely enough, he had melted one mask to his face only to place yet another mask on top of it. He felt strangely suffocated, the way people seemed to hover over him. They were so worried about his physical health, yet they didn't ask about what was going on in his head. All they wanted to know was whether he was in much pain. Even Allen fell into the same boat.

Darrin hummed, and he said, "They're worried."

"Worrying about me isn't going to make me better Now, leaving me _alone _might. Because they're raising my blood pressure, and I don't know if my heart can take a pressure spike." He fiddled with the feather a little more, wrapped up in his own irritation. He couldn't deny the guilt that was boiling inside him, though. Guilt over everything.

Again, he saw the flower of blood blooming on the bandit's shirt. He felt the kick of the gun as if he had just fired it that instant. The bruise was still healing.

_God punishes liars and thieves. _

Well, he'd stolen and he'd lied. Was the guilt his punishment, or was there something more in store for him?

"You should take yer own 'dvice, young'n. You do a mighty lot a worryin' yerself," Darrin said as he knocked back another swig. Lavi looked up in slight confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Fiddlin' with that bottle a' pills all the time, 'n lookin' at Allen 'n worryin' if he's fergiv'n ye yet. 'N Grampa over there. You worry 'bout him a lot, too. Seems like all you people do around here is worry," Darrin said. Lavi winced, rubbing his eyes. He hadn't even noticed that. Darrin was a lot more observant than he'd given him credit for. He could be incredibly intelligent, when he wasn't in a booze-induced haze.

"Well, Mr. Relaxation, how do you propose getting me to relax?" Lavi asked with a sad smile. Relaxing - even after coming to the Order, the idea had rarely crossed his mind. Oh, sure, he took naps. He read. He took trips to town with the others. But did they really _relax? _Was there ever a moment where the tension and paranoia ever fully went away? After all, Lavi was just waiting, perpetually, for that moment when Bookman finally put his foot down and they left. It couldn't be long now, either. They'd been with the Order almost two years. That was the longest time Lavi had spent on any one war, much less with a group of people.

It was getting dangerous for the both of them. He wondered if Bookman was in danger of the same problems Lavi did. He certainly hoped not. One crazy Bookman was enough. Two of them? Unthinkable.

Darrin leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, and he looked at Lavi with a wicked gleam in his eye.

"I tell ya what you do, boy. 'Ere's a village not two miles down yonder. You get yer friend, Allen - don't deny it, he's yer friend, shut yer yap for a second - and you go down there, look at some pretty gals and regale 'em. Shoot, you got plenty a' scars to wow 'em with, and that Allen feller could use a girl or two! Drink a little, dance a little... Life's too short t'just sit there mopin'," Darrin said with a shrug of his shoulders, the canister on his back gleaming in the gloaming.

Lavi chewed the idea over. Disobey orders... run off to go and find themselves women... dancing... it sounded absurd. How could he possibly enjoy any of those things now? Especially as foggy as he felt now, with everything in a sort of gray haze. Perhaps taking two of those pills was just a tad too much...

But maybe a night out on the town wouldn't be so bad. After all, they'd been shot at, bombed, accosted by mythical creatures - surely they deserved _some _kind of respite?

"Well... can you tell me where I can get two horses without Jiji knowing?"

* * *

><p>"This is a horrible idea."<p>

"What're you talking about? This is a great idea!"

"Lavi, I can't even _get _drunk."

"Stop being so selfish. _I _can get drunk, and I honestly plan on it."

"What am I supposed to do while you're three sheets into the wind, then?! Aren't you supposed to be recuperating besides?"

Lavi massaged his chest as he pursed his lips in thought. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled wide.

"Hey, no pain, no gain. Come on, Allen, it'll be _fun._ Do you even know what that word means?"

Allen scoffed as he crossed his arms, still holding on to the reins of his horse as Lavi saddled up his own mount. With a grunt, he lifted the saddle onto the horse's back, and the horse nickered nervously. Lavi shushed it frantically, looking over his shoulder. The man on guard was asleep. Lavi didn't even have to knock him out with a laced drink. He was already dreaming of sugar plums by the time the two boys got there.

As Lavi cinched the saddle, Allen took a look at his friend. He frowned with worry, noting how stiffly Lavi moved now. He wasn't as strong as he used to be, and he still had to take frequent breaks. He'd recovered a lot quicker than he'd anticipated, but the white-haired Exorcist still worried that Lavi was pushing himself too hard. And this whole thing about going to drink in the village... It honestly seemed so absurd, so unlike him. He wondered if there was something going on in Lavi's head that he wasn't telling him. It was all too likely.

The worst part was that he couldn't _tell. _

"We don't have to be there all night. We'll just grab a pint or two and then come back," Lavi conceded, looking up.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Lavi stopped for a second, frowning as he stood up straight. He patted the horse on the neck, thinking hard about how he wanted to answer that particular question. He'd had so many people ask him that question that his knee jerk reaction was to automatically say, "Yes." He wanted to say it, too, to get Allen off his back. To get him to quit _worrying. _It was all anyone did these days.

But there was something else. He just felt _guilt. _He had lied to Allen, lied to his face. He was the best friend he'd ever had, and he had deceived him. Perhaps that was why he wanted to drink himself to oblivion. Maybe with a few drinks in him, he could get the courage to tell the truth. Maybe he could actually _tell _Allen what was the matter with him, instead of dodging the question. He'd kept up the charade for so long, that he wasn't sure he could drop it.

It said a lot about him that he felt more guilty about lying to his friend than killing a young man in cold blood.

"No, I'm not okay. I just... I want to have fun, you know? Just this once. See some girls, live a little bit, relax," Lavi said, not daring to look Allen in the eye. He rubbed the leather reins between his fingers, shrugging his shoulders.

But both of them knew that was only scratching the surface. Still, Allen said, "Alright then. What are you waiting for? Get on the horse already."

Lavi looked up and gave a smile, a _real _smile, and Allen smiled back. The both of them mounted their horses and rode them towards the road, picking around the sleeping sentry. As they headed towards the lights of the village a few miles ahead, Lavi looked over his shoulder.

A young boy with red hair and an eyepatch watched him with disdain. With his thumb and forefinger, he made a gun and put it to his temple.

_Boom, _he mouthed. Lavi turned around and kept riding.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **This chapter is finally finished. After three months. Of nothing. I am so sorry.

Anyways! I won't promise you any more chapters. I won't get your hopes up. But I am still alive. I have not succumbed to college or to my own self-doubt. I will prevail!

Big thanks to you guys for sticking with this story even though it's erratically been on and off. I really hope you enjoy it. I won't bother with discussion questions - just comment what you feel.

Happy Thanksgiving, God bless you, and I hope you enjoy all the food!


	30. The Chase

The old man woke up blearily to the sound of a distant rooster crying in the distance. He cracked his eyes wide open, and he slowly realized something wasn't right. He could hear men working, as it was the first of dawn. His own surroundings hadn't changed any - his memory was too good for him to miss something out of place. Despite all of his things being exactly where they had been the night before, he could not shake the feeling that something was _missing. _

However, without any sort of hard evidence, he rid himself of the feeling with a practiced motion of the mind. He would not pay mind to it.

He dressed for the day, walked out to the edge of the forest, relieved himself, and decided to get his day started. He took all of his things and packed them up. He placed all of his books in a single suitcase, all his clothes in another valise, and finally stowed the tent. He made sure that all of it was ready to go into the trucks before stiffly walking to the cooking fire. His joints complained testily to the abuse, and he rubbed his arthritic hands. Bookman had had to contend with the staleness of his own mortal coil for the past ten years, something he'd done his best to hide from his young apprentice. His Junior Apprentice was more than aware that his ascendancy to Head of the Clan could be rather premature.

"Good morning, _Senor. _Did you sleep well?" Ricardo asked. The young man was fresh-faced and cheerful this morning, a newspaper (somehow) in his hand.

Bookman gave him a rather sour look.

"Isn't that last week's newspaper?"

Ricardo's cheeks flushed, and he looked down quickly at the newspaper as if just realizing how late the issue was. He gave a nervous chuckle before explaining, "Ah, well, I haven't had anything to read these past few... days... I, uh, I guess I was just very fascinated with the news from last week."

The last few words were lost in a mumble as the black-haired scientist quickly busied his mouth with a sip of coffee. Bookman grabbed his own mug of liquid energy, and he sat for a few seconds, meditating purely on the warmth in his hands and the aroma of soaked coffee beans. As always, the smell reminded him of Colombia... of days spent sitting in front of a porch, the sun shining down on him. Each image was brought back with perfect clarity. Those had been simpler days, a respite from the rambunctious life he lead now. It seemed he had retired when he should've been working, and working when he should've been retired.

"You like coffee?" Ricardo asked after a few moment's silence. Bookman cracked open an eye, slightly irritated by the interruption of his reverie.

"Yes, I do. However, I am more predisposed to tea. I'm afraid we have none this trip, so coffee will have to do."

"I've never seen an Asian man drink coffee. I didn't know they served it in the Orient."

"They don't. Not typically," Bookman answered tersely as he took a sip of his brew. In the back of his mind, he recognized that he was being undeservedly harsh to the young man, but the feeling that something was missing would _not _go away.

He looked at the empty seat across the fire, and his eyes squinted as he racked his brains. Every morning, without fail, someone sat in front of him and ate. Every morning, that person would eat at least enough food for three men. Every morning, said individual would recount a dream he'd had that night to a redheaded individual who usually mouthed off to the old man in the morning.

"Where is that redheaded moron?" Bookman muttered under his breath. That was... an unusual break from the norm. Allen _always _ate here. Nothing in the world, barring possible incapacitation or _decapitation_, could stop Allen from eating breakfast. Perhaps the boy was sick. It was likely, given the fact that the water here was not the cleanest. And where Allen was, there he'd find Lavi as well.

"Excuse me," the old man said, getting up with a slight ache. He winced as his back popped, but he paid it no mind. He made his way nimbly to the tent Lavi and Allen had shared for most of the trip. He hadn't agreed with the two spending so much time together, but the extended company seemed to give Lavi some ground. Were it not for Lavi's mental health, Bookman would've raised hell over it.

He lifted back the cover to find two beds neatly made. Things were packed, ready to go, never touched. Toiletries were stowed in neat parcels. The tent was fresh with morning dew, undisturbed by two boys fighting to get dressed in such a small space. There were no shoes on the ground, no socks strewn about. All in all, it was a model living space for such a dingy camp.

Those boys had never even _slept _in these beds. His nostrils flared as he put two and two together. So that's what was missing this morning.

The godawful _yapping _of two teenage boys.

Just to verify, he walked to the horses. Sure enough, two horses were missing from the corrals, as well as two sets of harnesses and tackle. So they'd gone on a midnight ride, had they? Well! Bookman would give them such a hiding that they'd be lucky to have a square inch of skin to sit on! Junior knew better than this - he hadn't raised a _hoodlum. _

Bookman stomped his way back to the cookfire, where Darren had blearily made his way to the food. It was obvious that the American was led more by his nose than his eyes, as the latter were only half open. The man scratched his stubble in a most irritating fashion while rubbing his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and Bookman took a moment to recollect his composure. He had no idea how Lavi had found such a 'friend', but he was stuck with them for the time being, seeing as he had the canister. Said object was slung across the older gentleman's back, winking in the dawning sun.

"Mornin', pard'ner. What's fer breakf'st?" Darren asked groggily, looking into the stew pot. The cook said something in Spanish, to which Darren squinted his eyes, pulled his head back like a turtle, and then stared into the pot. He took a huge scoop of the mystery food and slapped it on his plate. Bookman found his shoes suddenly well acquainted with two or three globs of rice and... meat of some kind.

"Good morning to you, as well, Darren. Could either of you tell me where my boys have gone?" Bookman asked, his hands in his sleeves. A small vein threatened to burst in his forehead as the two men stared at Bookman for a moment with blank gazes. Ricardo suddenly became incredibly engrossed with his enigmatic breakfast, and Darren coughed into his fist.

"Funny you mention 'at," Darren said, nodding his head. "You see he were go' 'a 'own an' go' a 'ringk wi' Allen."

Most of his sentence was obscured by the massive amount of food he attempted to shovel into his mouth, but Bookman knew all about avoidance tactics. Lavi was a master in his own right at dodging uncomfortable questions. One time, he'd gone so far as to stage a flight of peacocks in order to avoid explaining to Bookman why his favorite robe had a massive ink splotch.

"If you could repeat that, _sans _breakfast."

Darren swallowed slowly while Ricardo hid behind his newspaper. As if sensing the radiating ire, most of the men in the camp had chosen to forgo breakfast in the interest of keeping the peace. Bookman paid no mind, instead turning his direct gaze on the American who was now hot under the collar.

"They, ah... went to town, I reckon," the aging cowboy said.

"Yes. I have gathered that much. But _when? _And to what purpose? I was not informed," Bookman said acidly, now directing his gaze to Ricardo. The man's newspaper quivered as he realized that he was now the target of interrogation. After several seconds of trying to appear busy reading the newspaper, the scientist mumbled, "They wanted a few drinks. Just a... a nightcap, you know."

"Nightcap?"

"Yes."

"...Well, it'd be much better to call it a dawncap by now. They're not back yet," Bookman said wearily, rubbing his forehead. Ricardo and Darren exchanged looks to each other. One shrugged and the other grimaced as Bookman took a seat.

"They went down to that there li'l hole in the wall place down the road 'bout two miles or so," Darren offered helpfully, and Bookman nodded as he stared into the fire. He hadn't even noticed the boy was missing... No, he was asleep before Lavi had even left.

_Not Lavi - Junior Apprentice. Lavi wasn't his real name. _

The stray thought tugged at his brain. He'd taken to calling him that name, though it wasn't as if he'd neglected to use the other fake names that Lavi had bestowed upon himself. However, he'd never used the pseudonyms in his own mental realm, instead using the boy's title as a placeholder. Now, he used the name as naturally as if the kid was born with it.

Though in a way, he _had _been born into the name. He was a new person, freshly christened by friends and community. Quite obviously, this was not a good thing.

"I will journey there to find them, then. And chastise my idiot apprentice for leaving without telling me. He is lucky I have such a long memory, or else I would've left him. Perhaps I should, to teach him a lesson," Bookman grumbled as he once more picked up his mug and sipped his coffee. And the day had started off so well...

After their morning routine, Bookman quickly mounted a horse and started for the next town over. Darren tagged along - Bookman supposed the man must feel slightly guilty for the disappearance of the two. So far that he'd learned, it was Darren that had encouraged this latest escapade. While he was by no means happy to have company, Darren did truly care for the boys' welfare. Bookman couldn't say he was pleased with the development. Of course, if Darren was good for anything, it was for finding the nearest, dingiest watering hole.

The town they rode into couldn't have had more than a hundred inhabitants. If Bookman hadn't known any better, he would've thought this was the end of human civilization. There were a few large buildings, a tavern of some sort, and several houses, some colonial and some mud-and-daub. In the center of the town was a statue that, for one reason or another, lacked a head. Bookman stared at the statue that served as the town's focal point, feeling slight unease. The statue had been of an indigenous Indian of some kind, wearing the traditional garb, though it was impossible to tell who it was considering its face (and the rest) was missing.

"I don't really 'member the name a' this here town, but I kin tell ya they got a mean gin," Darren reported as they headed towards the tavern. Bookman hoped to walk in, find the boys passed out in their stable, and then head out on the road again. Possibly, he'd have the boys shine his prolific collection of shows as punishment, but for now he wanted to take baby steps.

First, find them. Then, smack the tar out of them.

The tavern was a wooden, low building, and the inside was cramped with chairs, tables, benches, and early birds looking to wet their tongue. Bookman cast his expert eye over the place, but it seemed he didn't truly need to. There was absolutely no order to the place. All the chairs and tables had been thrown haphazardly around the room. The bartender, seemingly oblivious to the disarray, was shining glasses at the bar.

Bookman picked his way through as Darren whistled low appreciatively. Glass crunched underfoot, and the lamps overhead swung slightly, casting long shadows. Chair and table legs cast a menacing forest of shadowy spikes across the floor. The floor was scuffed, and the pictures on the walls were all crooked or dangling. Obviously, this place had been very lively the night before.

A young woman with broom was sweeping in the corner, humming to herself. Bookman yanked on her sleeve, and she abruptly turned. Jumping back in surprise, she put a hand to her chest and muttered, _"Mi Dio."_

_"Perdon, senorita. Tengo cosas preguntas por tu. Estoy buscando por dos muchachos, un hombre con pelo de blanco y un hombre rubio. Has se visto?"_

_My apologies, senorita. I have some questions for you. I'm looking for two men, one with white hair and a redheaded man. Have you seen them?_

The young woman, who couldn't be more than a teenager, struggled with the question before understanding crossed her face.

_"Si. Esten aqui anoche."_

"Why am I not surprised?" Bookman muttered in English. _"Where are they now?"_

_"I don't know," _she said defensively, her eyes squinting as she looked over Bookman's shoulder to the American who was admiring the collection of bottles behind the bar. Her body language screamed at him, that something had happened. He cocked his head slightly to the side, and he asked, _"Could you tell me what happened here, then?"_

She gave him a sidelong look, brushing black curls behind a single ear. Her eyes shifted around the bar, taking in the wreckage, and she said, _"There was a big fight. The redheaded one... he insulted El Gordo."_

_"Go on."_

_"He said he was fat."_

Bookman snorted. Leave it to Lavi to push someone's buttons and start a bar fight.

_"Why did he call him fat?"_

_"El Gordo had Maria with him. That's his new girlfriend, and she was sitting by him. The redheaded one talked to her, and El Gordo was...upset. El Pelirrojo asked her to dance, and Gordo called him a cur, told him to go find his own dinner to eat. Pelirrojo pushed El Gordo after. The white-haired one, he tried to make the redheaded one quit. They start to insult each other, and then the redhead called El Gordo fat." _

_"Did the bartender throw them out?" _

_"No. El Gordo picked up the redheaded one and threw him out that window." _

The girl pointed to a shattered window on the other side of the bar, and Bookman flatly stared at it. Well, it's not like Lavi didn't know how to go out with style.

_"And after that?"_

_"El Blanco left to find El Pelirrojo, and then Pelirrojo came in and tried to clobber El Gordo."  
><em>

A tingle of suspicion raced down Bookman's old spine as he saw the tightness around the girl's eyes, her sweeping more of a buffer than a true chore. He circled her, his stare directed at the large amount of glass, wood, and nails strewn about the bar.

_"And then the bar fight started?" _

_"Si, senor. Arruinen todos cosas y dejaron." _

Bookman stroked his chin. So Lavi had talked to a pretty girl, made her boyfriend mad, and wrecked a whole bar in a fight for his own honor and the honor of a girl. Allen had tried to be a voice of reason... and failed, as was typically the case when it came to Lavi's pigheadedness. It was a wonder that Akuma weren't involved, but there were no bullet holes in the walls - fresh ones, at least.

"Our boys have disappeared, it seems, Darren," Bookman said, turning around -

-to find that his companion had left. Bookman frowned deeply before walking around the piles of furniture and diehard drunkards. He soon found his partner talking with another person in front of the statue of the Indian, laughter frequently exchanged between the two of them. Several times, the stranger gestured to the statue, waving his hands around. Darren gave a big belly laugh, and the other man smiled widely before clapping Darren on the shoulder and bidding him farewell. By the time he'd gone, Bookman had caught up.

"I assume you've found an important tidbit of information," Bookman stated.

"Guess what happened to poor Chuy over here," Darren said, pointing to the headless statue. Bookman stared at it and then back to Darren. His kohl-lined eyes betrayed no amusement.

"Obviously, he is a head shorter than he was before."

"Yep. Wasn't like that last night."

"Oh?"

"Someone with an awful big hammer got mad and whacked the thing straight off."

Bookman stared up at the statue again with an incredulous look. Now he remembered why he'd forbidden Lavi any kind of alcohol. The boy was too reckless for his own good. Strange to say that alcohol was more dangerous to him than some of the most lethal poisons on the planet...

"When did that happen?"

"Not a single clue. Sometime last night. No one can say fer sure. But, I'll betcha one gold dollar 'at happened whatever hubbub happened in the waterin' hole," Darren guessed with his hands on his hips. Bookman was duly impressed with the man's info gathering skills. He hadn't expected Darren to be much more than a booze hound and general load, but he was full of surprises.

Pity his favorite drink was whiskey. It would've been a wonder to see what that brain could've been like if it hadn't been pickled in drink.

* * *

><p>Over the course of a few hours, the two old men managed to create a picture of what had happened in the town that night. After consulting a few of the town's local whores, one stablemaster, a disgruntled farmer, and some women at a well, they'd learned a goodly amount just from local gossip. Bookman sat atop his horse as he looked out to the rainforest behind the well and thought on everything he'd been told.<p>

So the story went, Lavi had gotten to be very drunk. Allen, however, had not, though that wasn't for lack of trying. The farmer had attempted to drink the _gringo _under the table, only to find that Allen's fortitude was more than a match for him. Allen had collected money from, not only him, but also several other men who were short a few more pesos. While Allen was busy collecting a small fortune, Lavi was talking with every woman he could find. According to a few, he would often space out in the middle of sentences, mistake a woman for a lady he called 'Mam' asking for her forgiveness, or even outright crying to them about something. This was the case when he walked to Maria and apologized to her for some imagined slight.

After regaining some of his faculties, he had tried to woo said woman, but El Gordo quickly put an end to that. After the defenestration incident, a bar fight ensued, spilling out to the square. In the mayhem, Lavi used his hammer to hit some fictional adversary - the poor Indian statue who was affectionately dubbed Chuy. At that point, the entire town seemed to converge on the two foreigners, and they'd hid in the stables underneath a feed trough. In the early morning hours, Allen had awoken to find Lavi gone, and after that the stablemaster could say no more.

_"I heard he walked out to the road and into the dawn," _one romantic prostitute postulated.

_"He probably drowned in a well," _the farmer had muttered.

_"I wouldn't be surprised if he's fighting some tiger out there right now!" _the stablemaster shouted.

As colorful as these predictions were, they didn't exactly help them locate the man they were searching for.

"Well, we checked the mayor's mansion, double-checked the stables, and triple-checked the bar. I'll be derned if I know 'nother place t'look, pardner," Darren sighed as he scratched his neck. He'd suggested they go to the small 'mansion' that belonged to the town leader. They were both stunned to find that somehow, the head of Chuy the Indian had ended up precariously balanced on top of the house's chimney. Several men were working to get it back down the last time they'd been there.

"We cannot move on without them. I am the only Exorcist on this mission besides those two." _And I will not leave my apprentice behind._

Bookman sat up straight as he heard the soft _pitter-patter _of feet, and he looked behind him to see a woman walking towards them. They both looked down on her from their horses, and she sheepishly dressed her black hair around her shoulders self-consciously. The old men exchanged glances as the woman looked back to the well where the other women were gossiping and drawing water for the day.

_"You were looking for a boy with white hair, right?"_

The two nodded.

_"I... think I know where he might be. Someone said they saw a boy with white hair shouting for someone by the old armory, where the Spanish used to keep munitions."_

_"Gracias, senora. We appreciate the help," _Bookman sighed, hoping this was not another false lead. Already, they'd hunted down several dead ends, most of them leading to the rainforest. For whatever reason, the boys always seemed to end up walking into the thick vegetation, never to be seen again by the eyes of man. Or so the villagers told them. Perhaps that was just wishful thinking on their part.

They spurred their horses back to the town center and angled toward the Spanish munitions building to the south. It was an out of the way ruin, built in the open Spanish style with curved walls and small windows. Most of it was falling in and covered with vines, but it could still give shelter. Bookman dismounted, his feet making a wet noise as they landed on the thick carpet of dead leaves. Darren followed close on his heels as the Chinese man headed towards the building.

"Hello?" Bookman called.

"Bookman?"

Allen's voice startled the chronicler, and he took a step back, looking for the boy.

"Yes?"

"Ah... I need help getting down. I'm inside."

Bookman stepped into the old munitions building, searching the high ceiling - and seeing Allen hanging from a rafter by a single hand. His brow furrowed in question, and Allen winced.

"I thought a higher vantage point would be... useful. I forgot that this building's less sturdy than I thought," Allen lamented plaintively. He grunted as he tried to swing his legs to wrap around the rafter, but he didn't have the strength. Darren whistled low.

"Gotcherself in quite a pickle, there, li'l man."

"I'm quite aware, thanks."

Bookman nimbly climbed around the debris and went up a rotted ladder to the loft. Boxes of musketballs and powder leaked across the wooden floor, and Bookman was careful to avoid them. He climbed to the rafter Allen hung from and carefully swung the young man back on to solid(er) ground.

When they were both on the floor of the munitions building, Bookman took a good, hard look at the younger Exorcist. Dirt smeared Allen's face, and his hair was unkempt. His eyes were bloodshot, and the scar on his face sprang out an angry red. He had bruises, and what appeared to be a hickey on his neck, though Bookman didn't ask about that (ammo for another time, perhaps). His clothes were rumpled, and he looked like he might've been crying at some point. Still, it was obvious that Allen had stayed in those town looking for Lavi for quite some time.

"I'm so sorry. I... I lost him. I didn't mean to. I just, I woke up and he was gone -"

Bookman held up a hand to quiet him. He let the silence linger before saying, "It is not your fault. He is willful, brash, and not your responsibility. However, it would please me greatly if next time, you yelled your protests rather than simpered them."

Allen winced and rubbed his neck, his eyes downcast. Darren clapped the boy on the back and said, "You had one heckuva bender, there, kiddo. Real impressed."

Bookman gave Darren a rather harsh look.

"Er... I mean, next time you shoulda told us and, uh, shouldn'a gone in th'first place, dagnabbit!"

Bookman steepled his fingers in front of him and bowed his head as he thought about the questions he should ask. This would be important, he could tell. Allen was clearly distraught, but he was also an Exorcist. He could keep his composure... Or so Bookman hoped.

"Where was the last time you saw Lavi?"

"Near a house on the southeastern corner of town. He... he was saying something, I don't know. Screaming. I tried to follow him, but he was already gone by the time I caught up to him. Dashed off to the forest."

Allen bit his lip and rubbed his chin with his blackened hand, looking away from the two. He sighed roughly, shaking his head.

"I don't know what was the matter with him. He started getting agitated... It was as if something was bothering him all night long. At first, he was doing alright, but then... I'm not sure, we... We went to some of the more unsavory places because Lavi wanted to just see what it was like there. And then... well, he wanted to put the head of that statue on the mayor's house, and I told him 'no'. He got mad at me, pushed me into the gutter. He ran off without me, and I lost him for a bit. Then we met up again, slept in the stables..."

Allen rubbed his forehead as he tried to think of what else had happened.

"I don't know. I can't find him anywhere. I've looked, I really have. Just... he's acting so strangely. He acts like..." Allen looked Bookman in the eyes, and for a moment the old man's bones seemed to freeze solid. There was this haunted look in Allen's eyes, a set to his face, an uncertainty in his visage that scared the historian. Allen was a man of absolutes, of certainty and politeness and knowing how the world was _supposed _to be. Here was a man who'd stared into the face of Death, and he was _frightened _of what he had seen in his friend.

If a boy who had only known Lavi for some months could be frightened of Lavi's mental disintegration, what sort of terror would besiege he who had known him since childhood?

"...like there's something following him."

Bookman nodded with a sigh.

"It is best we start looking then, isn't it? We can start from the northern part of town and work our way south. We will covered a wide area, see if maybe anyone has seen him... Though we've talked to half the town already," Bookman said, sighing wearily. He didn't relish the thought of canvassing the area for his wayward apprentice, but what choice did they have?

* * *

><p>It had taken hours of searching. Allen had gone back to camp to get some well-deserved rest at Bookman's behest. Link, who was annoyed to find that he had not been included in the investigation of his own charge, stayed with the young man. The last they'd seen of him, the blonde was guarding the boy's tent door - possibly more to keep him in than keep anyone out. In the meantime, Bookman had recruited his own set of workers, including Ricardo and Darren, to search for the redhead.<p>

After what seemed like an eternity of asking inane questions, dodging disgruntled men, and inquiring once more whether anyone had seen a redhead, they got a lead when an old woman said that a cry like that of some animal had come from a large abandoned house by the road. Bookman, of course, was the first to arrive.

Bookman opened the door to the house, and it creaked on rusty hinges. The floor was littered with bottles, paper, and leaves. Things grew up from the floor, and bones marked the presence of small predators who'd taken this place as a temporary home. The diminutive man looked up the stairs, noting the bloody footprint that lead up the right side in small splotches. He felt a twist in his heart as he approached the crumbling stairway, walking around an old pillar. The house was colonial style, obviously too fancy for someone like a villager to keep up. So here it was, rotting away, forgotten.

He gently trekked up the stairs, listening. He could hear something on the edge of his sense, a tickle of the ear. He crested the final step on to the hallway that led to several rooms. The bloody footprint dried up and died somewhere in the middle of the hall, leaving several different options. Bookman walked down the hallway, puffing on his pipe in an attempt to calm his nerves.

"Lavi? Are you here?"

There was no sound, only the scrape of his boots. Light filtered into the room softly, blanching the surroundings into twilit lethargy. Bookman's pipe hid a cherry red ember every time he drew breath, the only true lively illumination. He looked into one of the rooms, finding nothing but bedsprings and decay. The next room was the same. Finally, there was the room on the end.

The door was closed. Bookman grasped the handle in his gnarled fingers, feeling the grime on his fingertips. Carefully, he turned the knob and pushed the door open. His heart pounded in his chest, fit to bursting. He looked in with tight eyes, his brow lined as he peered in. A sink greeted him, dingy and mock-white. The mirror was long gone, and the toilet was a shell of porcelain covered in grime. The floor was littered with glass, but it had recently been disturbed. His eyes tracked to the tub...

And the huddled form in the corner of it, red hair a shock of color in the wan light.

"Lavi?"

He didn't look up. He was naked from the waist up, clothes in tatters. He'd lost his right shoe, and his hair was unkempt. His bandanna was curled in his hand, and he was shaking. His face was pressed against his knees, and Bookman could hear him mutter a few words now and again. He was battered, bruised, and cut. His hand was swelled at the knuckles, the aftermath of a clumsy punch.

But the worst part were his fingernails. Under them, old blood had crusted and new blood was bright red under them.

Bookman approached softly, but Lavi ignored him. The aging patriarch finally stood beside the man in the dingy tub, and he put a hand on Lavi's shoulder. He didn't move, merely continued whispering something.

"Apprentice. Look at me."

As if finally noticing him, Lavi stopped. He lifted his head slightly... then curled tighter into a ball.

"They'll get you... They're going to get you if I don't give it to them..."

"We need to go home, Lavi..."

Bookman extended a hand to his apprentice, but he didn't lift his eyes. At last, Bookman stroked the boy's hair, and for a second he relaxed.

"I don't want them to get you. I... I tried. I did try, but I couldn't get it out."

"Get what out?"

"I couldn't. It... I couldn't do it."

Bookman stared at his apprentice, wondering what he was going to do with him. He wouldn't move. The sun was going down. If they didn't leave soon, others more unsavory than he would come for the boy. Bookman rubbed Lavi's shoulder.

"It's alright. We should go home now, apprentice. It's getting dark."

Finally, Lavi lifted his eyes to stare at Bookman, and Bookman pressed his lips together hard. His nose had poured blood, and deep circles ringed his eyes. His lip was split, and it was obvious he'd been in a fight. Bookman's eyes tracked down... down... down...

His chest was a mess of blood and skin. It was as if he'd tried to claw it apart with his bare hands. The stitches had been torn apart, and the half-healed flesh was torn. The fingernails suddenly made much more sense. Bookman's stomach roiled as he stared at the grievous wound, and he stared at Lavi.

"What did you do?" Bookman asked, rubbing his bald pate frantically.

Lavi looked down at his chest and said, "They... I have to give them my heart. I couldn't get to it. This... bone's in the way... And now... I don't want you to go. They'll take you if I don't give them my heart..."

The redhead brought his hand up to his chest, fingernails poised, but Bookman snatched it back and away. Lavi looked up in surprise, a single green eye filled with almost childlike awe. His lips were tinged with blue as they slightly parted with surprise, but Bookman couldn't see it. He couldn't look at his apprentice.

Was this what he had done to him? He'd known the risks. He'd played his gamble... but it was Lavi who was paying the price.

"They won't get you tonight. They'll give you time," Bookman reasoned, trying to twist this senseless logic into something useful.

Lavi, disoriented, nodded slightly. "They'll give me some time... Yeah, they'll have to."

"Where are the pills I gave you?"

"I..."

Lavi frowned heavily, shaking his head. He looked at the wall and touched it with his fingertips.

"Tile. It's...Spanish tile. There used to be Spanish tile in the bathroom at the Milanese hotel we stayed in on April 26th, Friday, 1882, the Berlesconi war... It was red, and blue, and yellow with flowers on it. Each tile had five flowers, either two red, or two blue, or two yellow with the other three one of the other primaries. With acrylic paint, hand painted, made in four factories, one in Madrid, one in Coruna, one in Berlin, and one in Milan."

Bookman stared at the boy in the tub, with his bleeding chest and his fleeting, though sharp, memories. What had he done?

"We should go back."

Lavi stared at Bookman dumbly. The old man took the boy's hands and slowly pulled him to a standing position.

"Where?"

"Home, Lavi."

"Where is home?"

"Where... they can't get you."

Lavi thought hard for a minute. And then, he walked out the door. Unsteadily, but surely, he walked to the stairs and waited. He gave Bookman that same, almost simpleton stare.

"Then take me home."


End file.
